Topic : 06/06 "I'm Gay, OK?"

Now that I have some more time I really wanted to respond more to what has been written.

 

I would like to share some of the challenges I faced as one who has had to face the reality of same-sex attractions at the same time of coming to know God's grace in the midst of this struggle, in the midst of the struggle of coming to know who I am.   Where do I find my true identity and how do I deal with my attractions in light of my faith in Jesus Christ?  What does the church say about this?  I really honestly believe that this issue is so complex that many people remain ignorant of this issue.  I can speak from experience but I will never say that I speak from the perceptive of knowing it all or having all the right answers because I am only human, falible, I make mistakes but I can certainly speak from my own experiences. 

 

"I was scared because I heard my pastor read scripts from the bible,"

 

I spent most of my life in church, attending church , being involved with the church's youth group.  I would sit in the pews and listen to sermons that spoke against homosexuality.  At the same time I couldn't really understand God's grace for the simple reason I had been too scared to let people into my life.  Having experienced a lot of rejection from peers I just thought and assumed that I would be rejected from people at church.  I found that it's a very common experience of those who deal with the issue of homosexuality.  "Surely, they will reject me because of this..."  I didn't understand that those walking around with signs in their hand that read, "God hates fages,"  I didn't understand how that statement was not true and for that reason I thought I would get that same response from those in my own church. 

 

I found that the truth was that satan really wanted to keep me bound by this lie because it really worked towards isolating myself from the church.  Of course, because the church has been called by God to be His healing hand in this world.  It's sad that there are many church's who fail to be that.  It's also sad that other church's who do show the healing hand go unnoticed because of the few out there who do unfortunately fail to be that healing hand. 

 

When I confessed to my pastor and his wife I was truly amazed by their response.  They never hesitated to speak truth but what is important to mention here is the fact that when I confessed to them my inner struggles they came around me, they embraced me and said, "We love you,"  What is sad, is that there are many people in the church who will respond in just that way but some of us are so afraid of getting hurt that we don't take the chance of being known just as we are. 

 

I have experienced some rejection but there are many people I know in my church who support me, love me and have become God's healing hand in my life.  I guess I am blessed to know the people I do because these people are few and far between. 

 

You said you told your mother and she was just waiting for you to say something....

Our family will always know us better then what we give them credit for.  My family too has just been waiting for me to say something.  Personaly, I don't make my same-sex attraction a big issue.  It's a reality in my life and Jesus Christ walks with me through this.  As I do this, I see God's healing work in my life.  As I have said before, my feelings and emotions are a very real part of who I am but they do not define who it is that I am.  God created me as a woman in His image and it is there I live my life and find my being.  I also find this profound sense of freedom.  There are also times where the struggle is great but even in those times I encounter God.  As I wrote before, God pursued a relationship with me when I was far from Him.  This is God, we pursue a relationship with God because has been the one to pursue us.  This is why, in my own experience I truly believe that many of God's children are in the gay community and God is just waiting for their return home. 

 

The high school I went was a very frightening place for those struggling with this issue.  Many of those from the high school, folks I went to school with are open with me but to many of those we went to high school with they are not so open.  In this world there is a certain amount of fear for those who are different but I have learned that just because I feel different and should happen to be part of this marginalized group of people, doesn't mean that I really am as different as it seems.  Sometimes I am very aware of the fact that I don't have the femenine qualities of most women.  I mean, it's not hard to see.  At one time I was quite transgender, I have since moved away from being so transgender because I am embracing the fact that I am a woman.  And believe you me, this can be, for whatever reason a very hard concept for me because of my feelings that tell me I am not like most women.  These are feelings and just because they are feelings it doesn't mean that I am a man trapped in a woman's body, it just means that I am not as femenine as most women.  I am learning to be okay with that at the same time I have embraced this thing called womanhood.  I love it!!

 

Just the other day I coucelled a man who is gay because of an encounter he had with three men.  I didn't preach to him but I addressed his need.  He needed to know that regardless of my own personal views I still love him and express that the behavior from those men were not right.  There is a balance to have the right believe what we do, expressing what we believe but hating people and hurting people just because their view point is different and just because their lifestyle is different is wrong.  And it's also wrong to return the same favor in like manner, it is wrong to "straight bash,"  It was wrong to go back and break their nose but at the same time we have the right to defend ourselves at the time of being assaulted.  It is far better to press charges against people that assault us physicaly then to take matters into our own hands. 

 

I have had to defend myself, and when those times came I did just that and I don't feel remorseful for taking the actions I did.  When I had to defend mysefl against two people I went home to tell my brother and let him know what happened.  Because of my brother I had the entire Men's Senior High School football team looking out for my safety.  For the remainder time of my grade 12 year, everyone knew that they would have to go through the guy's football team to get to me. 

 

I think it's great that you can express what's in your heart with your mother because that's a healthy place to be. 

 

Felicia, I really do wish you all the best that life has to offer I really do. 

 

If people take the time to listen to those who are different this world will definatly be a different place.  Please don't forget to hear the testimony of the many hundreds of people who came to find healing, and who are living proof that God does not only love the homosexual but is there for anyone who called upon Him.  Too often the testimony of the many of hundreds of people who have walked free from homosexuality because of God's grace. 

 

But we exist too !

 

 

I don't understand why people do not except the fact that gay , white, black, etc were born that way.  My son is gay and one of the sweetest people I know.  I am happy he was born gay instead of evil and cruel.

The bible was written by man or woman which ever the case may be.  Jesus never married and was in his thirtys.  Was he gay.  Who cares.  I don't.

I think the most important thing the bible teaches is to Love one another and treat them like you would have others treat you. I love all of my children and grandson, nothing would stop me from being there for them. I am their family and they should be able to depend on you for your love. I'm not saying support them with money but depending on the problem money might be the answer.

You don't have to provide drugs and alcohol or guns or anything that is harmful, just being there for your family is what they need. Just to say I love you unconditionaly but I hate the ----(whatever)

God made the gays and all the people of the world can you be less than he is, Can you never see your child again because they are not up to your standards? NO, if you can ignore your child when they aren't perfect than you don't love them enough.

I am a little slow but I just read your response and felt for you very much. I am sorry if you are still feeling the need to be secretive about part of your life with your family. I know it's an odd thing to say but this stranger loves you just the way you are...as God intended you and as God wants me to.

Please feel good about you,

Rue

Today the show about being gay was aired here in The Netherlands, where I live. To me, as a 25-year old girl from Amsterdam, it's very odd to see how many American folks treat homosexuality as some weird disease. In my opinion, and in the opinion of many Dutchmen, if you're gay, you're gay, and that's fine! Offcourse it's interesting to discuss where homosexuality comes from, whether it's nature (genetic) or nurture (cultural), but whatever it may be, being gay isn't weird, nor wrong, nor immoral, or whatever.

In the Dr. Phil show gay people are treated polite, off course, but I always sense a little abstinence in talking about this subject on the show. I get the impression that, although everybody on the show is claiming to be very tolerant about gay people, deep in their hearts they aren't, or wouldn't want their own son or daughter to be gay. Offcourse there are people in The Netherlands (in the eyes of many Americans a very "liberal" country) as well who feel that way, but I must say that I'm very glad that being gay is very much socially and culturally accepted over here. For the record: I'm not gay, but I do love living in a country where there aren't many people who reject homosexuality (except for the Muslim minority, who are usually very conservative and religious). To be completely honest, I think that the fact that in the US many people are deeply religious isn't a big advantage when it comes to accepting different life forms, especially this one. What do you think about this?

Kind regards,

Anna

(Amsterdam, The Netherlands)

I want to say that not all Americans are like that. I am certainly not.  I know it's easy to stereotype Americans this way, and I know you aren't doing that, but it's not fair to those of us who are not like that.

Offcourse I know that not all Americans are "like that", and it wouldn't be fair indeed to stereotype all Americans that way. If I offended you in some way, I'm sorry.

I'm just curious about the way most Americans (or so it seems) think and feel about homosexuality, and where they base their opinions on. The serious European media often suggest that many, many Americans are deeply religious and though I know that's not the main topic, I get the strong sense that it isn't helping the integration and acceptance of gay people in the US. Everybody offcourse is free of thought and must believe what he/she wants, but I think that someone's personal opinions and beliefs should never interfere with other people's personal, private lifes. I think that's real tolerance.

Again, I'm not stereotyping anyone, I'm just saying that I feel sorry for all those people who are just being who they are (or want to be) and are being judged by people who feel morally superior - for whatever reason.

Oh no...you didn't offend me...I more just want the word to get out a little that America isn't one big "Jesus Camp"....LOL

It's all religiously based, that is true. And it is on topic because that is at the heart of the problem with gay acceptance.

You and I see very much eye to eye on this.

Many religious people feel that accepting homosexuality is an assault on their traditional family values...I don't agree of course LOL

...because it takes a while for the episodes to go overseas.

 

I'm surprised that no one responed to the the straight sister's comment on the bi sister "advertising" her sexuality that she herself was advertising her religousity.

 

More than once I've gotten the why advertise it schtick on my 1/2'' gay pin by people wearing a 3" religious ornament!!!