Topic : 06/06 "I'm Gay, OK?"

I really don't understand homosexuality but I think I would rather be celibate than incur the wrath of so many uniformed people.  I try to be tolerant and have worked with several professionals who were gay and I have the utmost respect for them as persons.  Why don't you do a show on the reasons people are born with this disorder (if that is what it is).  That is what is missing in today's society.  There is no clear understanding of why this happens.   Most people quote the bible and are not aware that it is not a choice people make. 

ER, Toronto, Canada 

Just so everyone knows, my brothers grew up playing with dolls and wearing my mother's heels.  They also wore my dress and wrecked it (but I'm not bitter!) but they are both married today, and to women, not men. 

When I was in junior high, I wondered if I was gay.  I struggled with it and hating struggling with it, because I knew that it was wrong. 

I hear all the time, "Being gay is the way I am" and "Being gay is a choice".   I've grown up believing the latter.  But, irregardless of whether you are born with it or not, practicing homosexuality is wrong.  Stealing is wrong.  Lying is wrong.  Murdering is wrong.  No sin is worse than the other.  God hates each sin. 

My grandmother believes that she is going to heaven because she is a good person.  But I believe that no one is good.  I know I don't deserve to be in Heaven with God.  However, through having a personal relationship with God, you can be forgiven and actually know God. 

I am sad that someone who reads this may look for mistakes in what I write because I have made a decision to commit my life to Christ.  I have to say I hate the word, "Christian" now because so many use it and all with different meanings.  To truly be a Christian means that you give up your desire to have control and do whatever Jesus asks you to do.   The bible says that homosexuality is wrong.  It does not condemn the person but the act.  Jesus ate with prostitutes and other "sinners" all the time.  He accepted everybody.  Some "Christians" can't accept the person who has made a choice to be gay and persecute them.  However, that is not right.  

Is it not interesting that western society was built on Christianity?  Now, tolerance is preached everywhere.  Practice any religion but not Christianity.  Do what you want but don't use prayer in school.  I would not be surprised if someday society will persecute people who follow after God.  At least then, the true Christians will stand up!! 

Coming out of the closet at 55 was a miracle.  I had dreamed it, prayed for it and gone through a 35 year marriage that wasn't ever going to be totally peaceful for either of us.   I tried everything possible to make the marriage work, church, counseling, and eventually stuffing all my emotional needs for many many years.   

After finally breaking the news to my husband, and watching him disintegrate I discovered Metropolitan Community Church UFMCC and when I started attending.  THis is a "predominately" gay church but is welcoming to everyone.  I still struggle with the guilt over the man I had to leave.  I could stay there and be miserable and let him be content or leave and finish this short live being more content but watching him in pain.   I am still his friend and visit him.   

Just to let you know that the MCC is available in most large cities and all over the world.  It is an awesome way to find God in your life and confirm His love.  Please look it up on the WEB. 

Dr. Phil is in error when he uses the homophobic expression "gay lifestyle." There is no such thing as a gay lifestyle. True, there are people who are curious about same-gender sexual activity; and those people on internet message boards, such as on MSN, AOL, Yahoo, etc, refer to themselves as "bi-curious," when their sexual orientation is exclusively heterosexual or exclusively homosexual.  

However, he is quite correct in that sexual orientation is inherited. Empirical evidence has proved that. "Empirical" refers to the fact that millions of people have told thousands of licensed and certified mental health professionals (psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, counselors, etc.) that they knew that they were different sexually speaking even before they reached puberty. I am not speaking in hyperbole here in regard to those numbers; all one has to do is go to a large library and look at all of the books written by those professionals whose practices are all over the USA and those professionals deal with human sexuality issuses and sexual orientation. 

One cannot unlearn a sexual orientation: but, I had a private internet correspondence on America Online, aka AOL, with a man who claimed to be an ex-homosexual. He had posted in an AOL Christian Message Bulletin Board (MBB) that he was no longer "gay." So, I asked him privately to tell me how he became that way. 

He said that he had "Christian" friends and church members agreeing in prayer with him asking in faith that he would no longer experience physiological sexual attractions toward men anymore.  

He got frustrated that God did not change him and also felt that his so-called, well-meaning friends might not think he was having enough faith. So, he literally took matters into his own hands. He took Jesus' (theoretical) command literally about "if one of your eyes offends you, pluck it out, or if your hand offends you, cut it off." 

So, what did he admit to doing? He tried to cut off his penis and in doing so, he just mutilated it and damaged his scrotum and both testicles. And, because of what he did, he had to have a surgeon remove all of his external sex organs.  

So, I asked him, "Now that you have no male genitals, do you now experience physiological sexual atttraction sensations toward women exclusively now, or do you still experience them only toward men?" 

He replied, "Neither. I no longer experience physiological sexual attractions at all."  

I told him that what he did was destroy what God had created and he should advise others not to do what he did. Since God created his sexuality, which was a part of his sexual orientation, he should not have tried to change that. I also said he needed to change his testimony; because, his actual relationship with the LORD did not change. But, if he had not yet ask God and Jesus, through the power of the Holy Spirit, to forgive him for damaging God's property, he should do so.  

Out of sheer boredom I decided to stop by the Dr.Phil website and read up on what shows were coming up this week.  I found this discussion forum for the show tomorrow about being gay.  What I have just read has shocked me.  Even what I read about people supporting gays.  None of what I read made any sense to me.  I'll explain.... 

Since many of you who are posting messages are religious, please listen.  There was once a man who said "he who knows one religion knows none".  What does this mean?  If you only know your religion you can think its right, you can think its the truth, you can think that no other religion could be more correct.  However, you cannot really know if you actually understand and believe in your religion if you do not venture out of the box and discover what others have to offer.  Once you know the others then, yes, you can step back and say "I believe mine to be true".  This same theory applies with different walks of life.  You can say "oh but i have a friend who's gay" or "i think they are consciously sinning" or whatever you want but you can NEVER say you can understand their mentality, their feelings of worth, etc.  And, since you cant ever fully understand what it means to be gay and live that lifestyle, you cannot come on a forum and have an opinion...your opinions are baseless. 

Secondly, I am a major in religious studies...i have studied the bible extensively and I will state this...firstly, most interpretations of the bible about homosexuals is taken completely out of context of the original meaning...the story of sodom had nothing to do with homosexual activity...if you wish to know your bible then please research what you preach.  And when I say research, I dont mean your local minister, preacher, or what have you.  I mean research it through history, science, technology, things that have a factual basis.  You will discover inconsistencies like the sodom story in which you are missing the entire message of what is being layed down. 

Though not a believer in the Christian religion myself, I do have faith in what the message was.  Love, not hate (by debate).  If you are christian than listen to what your lessons are to be...none of you shall go to hell unless you commit blasphemy against the holy spirit (though you do have to believe in God).  This means that yes, even the God's gay children can be forgiven and their "sin" is not infinite.  It amazes me how many religious people in North America will spend no time making comments about gay people and yet they will go to their mail box every month and pick up their copy of Martha Stewart Living and think nothing of it.  Martha broke some of the ten commandments and now look, she's more famous than ever...you would support that.  Yet when two people, in the comfort of their own home, find happiness, you have so much to say.   

And just to end this topic, I live in Canada.  If you aren't from Canada, you still may know that we have recently legalized gay marriage and are the 3rd country in the world to do so.  We had politicians actually quitting politics, some outright saying it was going to bring down the country, etc.  I'm happy to inform the world that Canada is exactly the same!  We didnt miss a beat.  The gays havent risen up and painted the country rainbowish or whatever everyone was scared of them doing.  The only thing that changed was that wedding stores made a hell of a lot of money since that law passed.   

It is interesting to see that people with "religion" appear to have all the answers. The answers are not in our minds but to what do we gain our moral and spiritual values. There is none other than the Bible and the Son of God, Jesus Christ. Please read I Cor 6:9 "..do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived.  Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God"... 

As you can see we are ALL sinners and I do not set aside the person who is a homosexual as the only person not inheriting the kingdom of the Lord. But only through the love of  Christ are we forgiven and we need to change our way with repentance and lead a life full of the highest moral standards we can be and not the lowest compared to animals. He is the Truth and the Light. God is Love and Good.