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Topic : 06/20 "You Ruined My Reputation"

Number of Replies: 223
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Created on : Friday, October 14, 2005, 03:59:42 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/20/05) What happens when you're the target of malicious gossip and your reputation is in question? Seventeen-year-old Hannah knows about this firsthand. She says that since junior high, she's been called a slut, a skank and a whore. See the surprise message for her from the school bully, Emily. Then, a woman tries to dispel the rumor that she was born a man. She even went to extreme measures by posting her birth certificate and baby pictures on a Web site! Plus, Kristi is a wife, mother, and owner of a daycare center, but an anonymous letter made her the main suspect in a child pornography case. What will it take for the rumors to stop? Share your thoughts.


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October 20, 2005, 12:57 pm CDT

Rumors ...

To the couple that runs the day care that got the letter. 

  

If the FBI or a Lab gets hold of the letter, with chemcials, finger prints can be lifted providing the person who typed it didn't wear a glove.  The  Police didn't really go to far on this.  If they can detect blood stains (after the area been washed off)  with chemical, they surely can get a finger print off the letter. ask about it. 

  

Good luck in the ventures and God Bless you  for being strong 

 
October 20, 2005, 1:03 pm CDT

fight back

 I wanted to say to the mother whose daycare business was ruined by an accusation of child pornography...fight back!  That's slander and you should do whatever you can to prove who wrote that letter and take them to court.  See if they like having their family's financial future put at risk by suing them for the loss of business.  You can clearly document your damages in this instance & maybe people would be less willing to spread viscious rumours if they knew they could be held responsible for their actions.
 
October 20, 2005, 1:17 pm CDT

it happens..

Quote From: lt6290

 I am currently a sophomore in high school, and I've been dealing with name calling, backstabbing, and mean glares all my life from my peers. But unlike most girls, I really dont care whatsoever what jugemental girls have to say about me. I come from a wealthy family, I get good grades, and I am class president. People that haven't even met me already somehow decide they don't like me. They claim I am stuck up and think I'm better than anyone else. Anyone who gets to know me would tell you otherwise. But for some reason people always need someone to pick on to make themselves feel more powerful. Girls in middle school even threatened to cut my hair off.But I am stronger than that and i know that I only have to please myself, and in a few years I won't have to deal with these immature people anymore. I am called Slut when I wear a tank top ion 80 degree weather, girls really will find anything to poke fun at. In most cases, they probably just are jealous that you can handle their comments.But it's the girls you can't take this kind of behaivor that i feel for. I talk to some classmates who cry and complain over unacceptance and I only try to tell them that those girls are not worth crying for. I could easily fit in by drinking and such. But i choose not to participate in those things, and i only get punished for that. But in the end, it will be worthwhile. Everyone always says high school is all about friends, but i dont think thats totally correct. I guess what I'm trying to say is most friends will come and go, they will stab you in the back. One good friend is all a person really needs. So don't waste time on the ones who just want to impress( if you have to change who you are, it not worth it), focus on your grades and your family. Because most likely in the end they will be the ones by your side. Why does our society dwell so much on being accepted and well liked? We can't please everyone. Don't be afraid to be outspoken and opionated.I personally think the world needs more people to not "fit in."

Yea things like that happens. 

Between 6th-8th grade. There is a lot of drama,and nobody to trust.But You just got to be cool about everything.I've never had school drama,because i never talked crap,i would just go home and complain about it to my brother and sister, if there ever was something that was bothering me. That way you know it wont go around the school.And thats when rumors begin to start happening, if you even tell your closest friend.Just chill and kill it with kindness.Pretty girls are always jealous of pretty girls.But in that situation you just have to deal with it.Who cares.Theres always other friends out there.You've got Family.So lean towards them... 

-sheena- 

 
October 20, 2005, 1:17 pm CDT

Thank You

Quote From: werforpsu

You know, i glanced at all the messages here and all i can say is I AM SO GLAD I AM OUT OF SCHOOL!!!  i have plenty of stories of my own as i was called a whore, slut etc. BUT....now i am an adult, and i have realized that not only are those people childish and insecure but i am a better person because of the trouble i had. 

  

i still have very low self esteem, and always believe that people do not like me.  i convinced myself on several occasions after arguments that my husband was going to leave me...NOT TRUE.  the hardest part is loving yourself and realizing that there are people out there that love you too. 

  

if you are a victim---hang in there, i know it is hard BUT you will make it...and you can LAUGH at them at your reunion in 10 years...because eventually their hurtful befavior will catch up to them. 

  

if you are a bully---PLEASE STOP!!! that is all i can say 

I am so glad that you said "the hardest part is loving yourself and realizing that there are people out there that love you too."  

I have a very hard time excepting the fact that my fiance' clams to love me unconditionally. I feel like that once I do something wrong or say the wrong thing he will reject me (like kids did in high school.) I started believing the things that kids said to me at school. I have tried so hard to overcome this feeling of rejection. I think that I have came along way. I am still struggling with my self esteem and self-concept. I am thankful that you said that. I felt like I was all by myself with this feeling that my fiance'  will eventually walk out on me. 

 
October 20, 2005, 1:28 pm CDT

In Your Shoes

My love goes out to the daycare mom.  I lost my daycare, house, friends, and now have PSTD.  Your story has helped me so much. Just to know I'm not alone.  To get our name back we had to get a lawyer, and fight.  Now that it was proven to be not true, I'm glad, but could never go back to day care.  I loved it and miss doing it, but the police didn't look for the truth but tryed to make things true.  Thank god for the truth, but it not only changed my life, but gave me a mental illness.  I have a hard time leaving the house and fear for my family all the times.  Thank you for your story.  I now feel like I could have my life back. If not the same but at least better. 

 
October 20, 2005, 1:29 pm CDT

10/20 "You Ruined My Reputation"

I know where you teenage girls are coming from...My daughter is a freshman in college and this past spring had a horrible experience..not with girls her age but some in there 20's and one in their 30's...It started out as showing her (so called friends)her modeling portfolio and it went from there..The one has a husband in Iraq and didn't want my daughter around her husband(who had 2 previous flings and was engaged when he started dating her) the other just went along for the ride...It is a long story..but it got back to where her dad worked ,because one of the shots was done using his friends Harley that worked with him..It was going around she had a crush on him..Keep in mind this guy is 33 and is like a second dad to her..My daughter is beautiful and smart and wants to be a Criminal Profiler..Now she is(or was)dating a guy who she just found out ..has a pregnant ex girlfriend with whom he still live with..she is 16 and he is 20..in college,good job..said he just adored my daughter and after 5 weeks took her virginity from her and now ignores her..He never intended on being with her..he told her he was a slut..he had a bad upbringing and this just maginified the problems from the rumors started in the spring...Needless to say because of the rumors it has brought her down to a level of 2 years ago...feeling horrible about herself..She has lost alot of weight and she can't afford to lose anymore..she is so thin now..she doesn't eat..all because of friends..
 
October 20, 2005, 1:30 pm CDT

10/20 "You Ruined My Reputation"

I guess as far as stories about rumors go mine pretty good really. About a year ago i joined my highschools drumline, i'd been a musican for years but becuse of the reputation of the peoepl in that line, i'd never really felt comfortable there. I joined away to find out for my slef. I found out that all i had heard aobut them was true. They were awful. but i put up with there drinking and nasty behavor becuse i loved what i was doing. Until one day, some of the girls in the drumline decied to start a rumor that i was sleeping with my teacher. he was fired and my repuation as a good girl was ruined. I had to quite doing somthing i loved.Thank god i had good firends who helped me get though all of it. One thing an older firend of mine said to me really helped though. They told me that highschool, in the long run dosen't matter anyway. in 2 years no one will remember this happened. Now i keep this in mind when i am questioned about the situation now. Maybe that will help other teens who have repuation issues. Find good firends keep them close and let go of things that won't make any difference in 2 years anyway. good luck to anyone to anyone faceing anything like this. You have my best wishes.
 
October 20, 2005, 1:35 pm CDT

ruined reputation

I watched this show today and it brought up so many memories of middle school and the rumors that had been spread about myself then. 

Like Hanna I was also a girl who developed earlier than the rest and shortly after the school year started rumors spread throughout the school of my being loose a slut and how I would sleep with anyone who would ask.Not long after I started to endure physical abuse by the boys in that school because they got it in their heads to trap me in corners in the classrooms and feel me up and mistreat me in that sort of way because if I was that loose in their minds it was OK. 

The whole thing started to spiral out of control leaving me afraid to be alone in the school without a teacher near by. I was forced to not show up to class until the teacher was in the room, it was all becoming more than I could handle. I had even pinched some of my mothers nerve medication and took a handful of it one night because I just didn't feel I could go on any longer. 

I think what hurt the most was I was a virgin who had never as much as gone on a date. In our home the rule was no dating until you were 17 and I just couldn't figure out why these girls and boys were saying such things about me.Thankfully I still had some friends who I had been in public school with previously and who still believed I was the same girl I always was but they weren't in my classes and some of them weren't even in that school. 

As I said it all became too much for me and after I tried to stop it myself I was at my Grandparents house, like we were every Sunday and my grandfather sat me down and asked me what was going on and why was I so unhappy. I told him about the rumors and what it was doing to me and my grandpa said something that I've carried with me the rest of my life. He asked me was there anything I did to make these rumors true and I told him no. He then said to me, "As long as you know what you do and who you are, you know the truth like no one else ever can. Hold your head high and know you've done nothing wrong and they will soon realize they have nothing more to say because other people will no longer believe the lies due to the fact they can only see the truth in your actions." 

I now took this with me in my daily life to school and else where and I couldn't believe he was right. It didn't take long before some of the girls who had joined in on the attacks were apologizing and it just continued to get better. 

I never had fought back before that but I feel my hanging my head and hiding was making them enjoy my pain and helping them to continue to torment me. When I stopped letting them see it hurt as much as it did they seemed to not be interested in me any longer. 

After that experience I became a person who stood up to others for their treatment of the ones who had followed me and now people listened because I was back with my original friends and back in the in crowd but always ready to stick up for the under dog.  

I can't say people since haven't tried to spread stuff about me since but because of my grandfathers advice, it never mattered to me again.I now had the tool to stop it in it's tracks and I could now understand when my mother said if they have to spend so much time making up stories about you they must not have enough to do themselves or not interesting enough lives to keep them happy and occupied. 

I so hope the two girls can come together  and become friends again because some of the girls who jumped on the band wagon and picked on me became some of the better friends I had in middle school. 

 
October 20, 2005, 1:36 pm CDT

2 ex best friends

i have had 2 best friends do the same thing to me they both talked bad about me to guys that i liked so i wouldn't be able to go out with them. the most recent friend says i can't get friends or boyfriends witch is not true cause i have friends at work and i am talking to guys they believe me over her anyway.
 
October 20, 2005, 1:48 pm CDT

Get Over It!!!

These people are acting as though a silly little lie will ruin their entire life! And that is definately not the case! I was in high school and yes people talked about me, but I quickly realized... Once you graduate, you'll hardly EVER see these people again! So what is the big deal? Focus on your school work and what you plan to do for the rest of your life, not those childish people who have nothing else to do but sit around and talk about people!!!
 
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