Topic : 06/20 "You Ruined My Reputation"

since graduating high school i have thought about what people (counselors, principals, teachers) always told me..."turn the other cheek its not worth getting upset", but it is at least to the kids who deal with it all the time.  Since i can remember,4th grade actually, i was picked on .  there were many different things: my parents didn't make a lot of money, i lived in a small house, i was friends with more guys than girls...shall i continue?  kids are mean and vicious they don't care who they hurt as long as its not them.  i have dealt with a lot of rumors and gossip and after being out of high school for 3 years they have continued. I don't do much with people outside of my boyfriend, my family and my one friend..that I can actually call a friend..Danielle. People don't grow up and it doesn't just end. its mean and very hurtful.  I feel like this subject should not be taken lightly in schools or anywhere else. what is the difference between verbally harassing someones reputation and bullying a child for their lunch money?  In my eyes nothing.  the things that people come up with to hurt others does in fact hurt. but yet time and time again we are told to consider the source and turn they other way.When will these kids who start rumors and vicious lies be the ones who are made to stop instead of making us ignore those people? 

It won't matter if she fights back. Well, it might give the woman a sense of having revenge, but it will never restore the trust of those who might leave their children with her.  

Would you leave your child with someone if there was ANY doubt at all about the woman? Most people won't.  

As a teacher, I sympathize. It's never happened to me, but I know of teachers who can no longer teach because rumours damaged their 'employability'. You can't be thought of as suspicious AT ALL if you want to take care of children. So if someone wants to ruin your life, it's pretty easy. Just start spreading those rumours.  

It was nice to see the two girls come to terms with eachother and whats been going on. We dont know exactly what went on but im sure we can be certain most of what they heard was just that. Heard from other people and not directly from eachother.  A mob of kids like that can be very powerful and hurtful.  

They both seemed like very nice girls aswell. 

As for the daycare women. Wow, it mustve been so hard to go through that. But I agree with Dr.Phil. You just have to keep on walking. The truth will win out in the end.  Again, they also seemed like a very nice family and from what I saw she seemed to be a very good care giver.  I think she should find out who wrote the letter and talk with them. Also let it be known to everyone else who the writer was. That with the evidence that there were no problems should pretty much shut everyone up.  

People who try and put you down like that really get to me sometimes but you have to move on. In most cases just ignoring it will usually make it go away.  Sometimes you have to confront the people saying such things.  

Goodluck to anyone who is having problems 

I could not help but laugh watching Hanna get so upset about name calling. It took me right back to my teenage years. I was pretty much a rebel, punk rock all the way. My best friend and I always hung out with the "tuff guys". All the other girls assumed and voiced that we were big sluts and what ever else they could come up with. We were still virgins! We laughed our butts off at them all as we knew either they were jealous of us or wanted to be doing what they imagined we were up to! I graduated with honours and we both have good careers, homes, friends, family and have moved on with our lives. You can't imagine when I went to my 10 year reunion and everyone was shocked that I no longer have multi coloured Mohawk hair. Some people can be so ignorant! Don't sweat the small stuff, it is all irrelevant in the end! :) 

Dear Hannah,  

After watching you on the Dr. Phil show today I simply had to write you and say how brave I think you are.  I have been through exactly the same things that you have been through from being tormented by girls and boys from grade 6 to today.  I am currently 25 and have graduated from University and am moving on with my life, however, I felt your pain today watching the show.  I was called all the names you were (and worse), harassed, attacked, written about in washrooms, to the point that I too had to switch schools.  I like you developed early and as a result started gaining the attention of boys at an early age and from there the jealousy began.  It has taken me a really really really long time to see that it was jealousy and just that because I could never treat someone that I was envious of in that way, however, there was no other explanation.  I have never written about this, but after today I want you to know that there is a girl like this in every town, every country and in every school. I have no idea why girls feel the need to break others down and manipulate them so much when we should be standing together and supporting one another, especially when the ground root of it all is jealousy that boys may like you more than them.  To this day I still face people talking about me and scrutinizing me and I can tell you that one day it will stop and get easier but it hasn't.  I hope for you it will.  For me I never gave fuel to the fire, no matter how much it tore me up inside I never hated back to these other people, and trust me I wanted to.  I just think that it is important not to sink to their level and try to keep you head high.  It hard as hell, but you gotta know deep down that you are a better person for it and that it will make you that much stronger, sympathetic and understanding in the long run.  This is really long, I could go on forever getting into my experiences and what I can tell you, but I think the main thing I want to say is that in time it will get better, you can move on and those people who are so caught up in your life have no lives of their own and they will not later as a result of their pettiness and insecurities.  I think you are so brave and so strong to go on Dr. Phil because I know I always wanted to go on Oprah to talk about it and help other girls, but I never had the strength... also I know that you will face a lot of grief when you get back home of people making fun of you for going on the show.  And thats why I wanted to write you, because you have no idea how many girls went through what you are going through exactly and how many of them you helped by being fearless.  You also helped me today by being braver than I ever was at your age.  I wish you all the success in the world, just keep your head held high and be strong, you are not alone... 

Hugs,  

Pam