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March 27, 2006, 12:04 pm PST
You should prepare yourself !!!
Quote From: jorayeCongratulations for being a stay-at-home mom who is happy to be a wife and mother. You have your values EXACTLY where they should be and I imagine you have a happy marriage. Most young people today want THINGS - that was never an issue when I was a newlywed (but that was a long time ago and things have changed). God Bless You - and Have A Happy Life! I too, was a Stay at Home mom, no career, no degree, and all the trust in the world! After all I was married to Ward Clever!!! Until he walked out after 17 years. We paid child support on his first born from his first marriage for the duration of the marriage. When he left I was so angry at myself for trusting him completely. It was only 6 weeks prior that he told me to stay at home, take care of our child, be there for the needs of our child and take care of the household needs, etc. Boy was I blindsided!!!!! I have continued to raise my child who will gradute this spring. I have obtained my 2 year degree (which you can be doing right now with few hours, little investment, some courses are offered on video and web from local colleges), I have paid my mortgage off (small home but it's mine), bought a car and paid it off, took a trip with my son to Hawaii (a treat for paying off the house and their 16th birthday), all big accomplishments. However, the company I worked for closed in Dec and now I find myself unemployed and looking for a career with the two year degree. Not much to choose from. My plan is to return to college for a 13 month course in the fall and obtain a Bachelors degree. I have a plan, yet I can't let go of the years I spent doing what you are doing. If the worst happens and you find yourself in my shoes, make sure they fit! In my mid 40's, I have no retirement, very little savings, and a lot of ground to cover. Every morning when you get up, look in the mirror and who you see is your help! I wouldn't trade anything for the years with my child, but I'd love to have the hours he was in school to get those degrees so I could afford the tuition for them to attend college and needs we have which have to be pushed to the side for now. I wish only the best for your marriage. Some folks are lucky enough to have the real thing! Women who stay at home should be compensated for the work they do there. If anyone has checked around, it cost big bucks for maids, child care, meal preps, laundry service, and nursing. I believe women who are in this postion should be backed by a legal contract to be paid a % of the household income for their services. This might also curve the spending of both parties. If I had been looking out for me and my childs well-being, I would have been saving some of the money that was brought in for the rainy day that came. We didn't live beyond our means. I could have had a nice nest egg and the degree I needed if I had been looking out for my future. Start today by saving $25 a week and add to it with each raise he gets, contacting your local college and deciding what career you would enjoy doing. If you find yourself married at retirement age, buy a condo with the money you made and saved. Don't let yourself be a statistic. Take charge of your future so you can be proud of YOU. You will always be a mom but children do leave home. They need to be taught to prepare themselves by seeing parents actions. Careers go along with Budget. Start your career today, begin today being the person you will be when your children leave home. Have a happy retirement!
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(Original Air Date: 10/21/05) Money is often cited as the number one reason couples divorce. Dr. Phil talks with moms who say their need for cash is causing major problems. First, Andy and Lynn are newlyweds whose marriage is already falling apart. Lynn says she has to pay for expenses that her waitress salary can't possibly cover, and she has to beg her husband if she needs money. Andy says his wife relies on him for everything and he doesn't think she should get a free ride. Can their marriage withstand the pressure? Then, Alice has invented a product that she thinks will make her millions. But after putting in over $160,000 and turning their house into a factory, her husband has had enough. Does Alice have a great invention or should she just give up? Plus, two moms have a dream of opening up their own boutique, but their husbands say they both need a reality check. Join the discussion.
