Topic : 12/29 "Is This Normal?"

The couple that calls eachother names is doing ,by far,more harm to their children than the nudist father ever could. The real kicker is that harsh words are more acceptable. We have been held prisoner for too long by the tender sensiblities of a sick society that is for the most part controlled by religious zealots who see nothing but evil in anyone that does not believe as they do. I am constantly amazed by the parallels between our supposedly open society and purportedly closed 

and stifling societies. We have in our country a core of prudish, parochial, stiffnecked,religious warriors who are hell-bent on eliminating anything they deem "icky" or "sinful". The truth is that their standards were written by people far in the past who were trying to make money without working very hard and the easiest way to do that is to make enough people so scared of something that they will pay you  handsomely to protect them from it. Just throw in a handy deity to focus their attention and Bam, you've got a steady income. The only difference between the established religions of today and the fly-by-night hucksters of tomorrow is the time they have been around. It really embarasses me that a race that made it for 20,000 years without religion or rules to limit nudity would suddenly, in the last 2000 or so, disappear from the face of the earth in a blaze of hellfire if either religion wasn't fervently  observed or standards of modesty were allowed to collapse. As a race there is little room in our collective hearts for anyone who wants to be an island unto themselves. 

My husband and I do the same thing. The names that we call each other to anyone else would be offensive but to us they are terms of endearment. Although, since we had children we have toned them down. See, not everyone is capable of being mushy and lovey all the time. This is just a way of being playful. I have to agree with Dr. Phil that this is normal behavior. Hope I could give you another way to look at it. Good luck. 

Good for you, My husband and I also enjoy our banter. I also laughed when I watched the show because I finally knew that my husband and I weren't the only ones who loved to insult each other. lol.               

In my opinion when you are married or dateing or whatever. You do not treat your bf/gf whatever the case maybe like that. In my book thats wrong. When you get married your vows are "for better or for worse in sickness and in health for richer for poorer to love and to charish" that not just scribble on paper. They are sacred vows that mean something. You dont call your spouse names. That is awfull in my opinion. 

Jennifer 

I cannot believe Mary, blaming her husband for being sick and the medical costs that have caused financial hardship.  Mary should be thankful that she still has her husband.  Doesn't she realize that without the surgery he would not be with her today.  Life as a widow can be far worse than financial hardships.  Financial Hardships occur even with the best laid plans. What does Mary think her financial outlook would be on one income trying to support a house and a family?  Has Mary ever stopped to think about the family whose loved one save her husband.  Does she even know what hardships that family went through?  Does she care?  Mary and her husband were given a second chance by someone who's family was completely unselfish.  How do I know all of this?  Two years ago my husband died suddenly from iniuries from a freak accident.  My children and I made the joint decision to have my husband become an organ donor.  We were able to provide life to 4 people.  All of these people are greatful for our gift.  Never once did I think about the financial end of any of this.  Mary needs to become educated about organ donation.  There are resources available to help families.  How about a little empathy?  Mary, be thankful for what you have, you cannot turn back the clock, accept the situation and move foward. 

Normal. I hate that word. Who defines normal? Normal is what works for the couple without hurting them  or anyone around them physically or emotionally. My husband and I call each other names. Mostly it's just sarcasm and we laugh at it and in the spirit of this particular show I threatened to call Dr. Phil on him last night. It's a joke. We joke. The kids know we joke around and they know when we argue. They also know when we argue we love each other and we're just hashing out ideas. Not fighting...arguing..or debating. There is a difference. If we really can not come to an "understanding" we just break out the spatulas or wet towels and inflict just a tad bit of "sting". :) But it's all playful. We play practical jokes on each other too. But when it comes down to him getting sick or something we need to handle we stand together. There is a fine line between what you want to call normal and abusive. Both persons have to have the same attitude about it. If someone is hurt by it...STOP. Words can be poison with the wrong intent. When our friends see us playing around like this they call it the "(insert our names here) show". But they will all be the first ones to say we both still act like we're on our honeymoon the way we still hold hands and hug in public. 

I myself been through this for years years. Ok  when we re dating things were smoothy yeah  i just fell for it.  The thing is didnt know he has other side of problem  about himself like depression  etc. Some I do but I do stay by him stand by him to listened to him what does he have to say support him ack. He didnt realized that I was very different from other women. This is what he likes about me. Respect love understanding and supportive.  OK
Later years I noticed his behavior what idoit I am for put up with him. I guess I wasnt ready to be commendment say yes this and that rather hiding. He s been calling names for other people who  they are if they are against him he  builds nasty way but when it comes other hand he talk nice about them and call me names. It does hurt me of course wound still on my skin and heart. After all things were fine. My daughter has been telling me he s calling name terrible fact I dont hear o k. well he s not only one. Daughter and him do this to me. Its not normal. 

IF i had been strong years ago and be tough and move on and knowing what to do and make him scare off etc.. I wouldnt stay with him. Ok this is soon to be year 2006 its going to make worse scare him off I hoped i just hoped this is what I m looking for to make him hush or scotch tape. 

I m very nervous yes thats depends what day  what month  of the day good happy relax funny sad or etc...  

I dont agreed be calling names is very very unhealthy. Remember I m going to work on and move on year 2006 if this is what i m looking for. I wished I could slap his face for call me names. I can be charged if I did. Its nuts.I do beleive slap his face will teach him a lesson. 

My blind to see the problem around me is opened now I guess couselling helps and  even been online and watch dr phil  helps alot . You know its very distrub inside for me. My hubby is hearing. 

I think she is so selfish! My husband had kidney cancer for 15 years before he died, he didn't live long enough for the kidney transplant. Sure I worried about after (if he got the transplant) but he didn't go looking to get sick! We had 2 miracle babies, and the only thing I would change if i could would be that he didn't die. I stood by him through everything and it was a lot. What disturbed me were the medical personal making comments that they couldn't believe I was sticking around! Seems its common for spouses to take off when the other one gets seriously ill. 

People like that just make me mad, whatever happened to the marriage vows?? 

Suzie