Topic : 12/29 "Is This Normal?"

ANYTHING ---- be it physical, emotional, visual, that makes a person feel LESS THAN, is ABUSE.  

A Person needs to respect and love self first, and then subsequently expect that from others. Anything less, is just simply unacceptable. I have read, learned and researched alot regarding abuse, since I left my abusive marriage 8 years ago. In answer to the Irish woman who is married to an older man. His problem, obviously,is severe insecurity and a need to control. It is NOT normal 

and erodes away your self esteem. Noone deserves to live with abuse of any kind. Most attempts 

at killing the woman is when she decides to leave, so I know that if and when you decide to leave, 

it should be unbeknownst to him, and do it quickly. To all who are going through what I did go  

through, my prayers go with you. 

This lady should be ashamed of herself.  Didn't she say the wedding vows, that include "in sickness & health".  If so she sure isn't carrying them out now.  I can't imagine her resenting her husband because of his illness.  She has got to be ONE of the most selfish people in the world.  Does she realize that she is probably hindering her husbands healing & reccovery with her selfish & greedy attitude. 

I have a chronic illness which will only get progessively worse.  When I found this out last year I told my "so called best friend" who showed me NO EMPATHY.  Her attitude was "I don't want to be so close to you anymore, because I have dealt with enough of other epoples illnesses & deaths.  I was only partially surprised since after I passed out a family event of hers she told me what an embarrment I was to her.  Like the previous writer I have found out who my TRUE friends are.  I know now who my friends are & who won't be there for me in the future.  This goves me more time & energy to spend with & on my real friends. 

I hope this husband recognizes his wifes problem & makes changes in his life for his own good.  I can't imagine what else this wife will use to find fault with him. 

Find a calm, quiet moment to talk to your husband and tell him that it hurts you when he calls you pork belly and you do not want him to ever say it again! Then tell him you need his help -- you need support, encouragement and a shoulder to lean on. 

I think you're not depressed because of his name-calling, you're depressed because you're afraid you deserve the name. Repeat this to yourself everyday, several times: 

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. 

Best wishes & good luck, Karen! {hug} 

I have observed children for many years, presently I am a Special Needs Attendant on a school bus.  We do not have any bad kids, however some of them have bad parents, in the home is the first place children learn bad habits.  What the children see and hear at home is normal to them and they consider themselves as being normal when they do what their parents teach them through their actions and words.  This does not make the children bad but their behavior needs to me modified the schools have a difficult task. 

Roger Bon, Sr. 

AK 

Any woman (or man, for that matter) who would allow his/her mate to belittle them with name calling should not be raising children! Those poor kids are going to grow up believing it is okay for them to do the same with dates, mates, etc.... children learn what they live, people! If you allow your husband to call you a 'bitch' or an ' asshole' or worse don't look all shocked when your daughter's husband calls her a slut or a whore! After all, she learned that kind of abuse was acceptable, from YOU! Like Dr. Phil says, 'You teach people how to treat you'. AND.... any man or woman who would call their mate names like that has no self esteem, especially the guy who asked his wife which stomach hurt! Get out now lady, before you completely lose your own identity! He is scared to death you are gonna leave him - do it!!