Topic : 12/29 "Is This Normal?"

Do you even know what I would do or give up to have my Dad or Brother back?  I would live in a box.  I would sell my own organs.  There is just nothing that could equal having my family back.  She is an inhuman BITCH with no heart and I think he should leave her.  She can go curl up in bed at night with her money.  I hope it keeps her warm at night.  Maybe buy a cute outfit for the funeral.  Since she is soooooo selfish she should think of it as an investment in herself.  She is oaying so that her heart won't be ripped from her chest.  Even though I doubt that she has one.

What is that woman thinking????    She is upset because her husband has a medical problem that is life threatening????   Come on!!!  Most of us who are married remember our marriage vows, you know the part that says you will be there for richer or poorer, and in sickness and in health.....    

  

I have been married for 29+ years, and my husband and I have always thought of the other first.  More importantly, I am a disabled 54 woman who can not work.  For the past 7 yrs I have not been able to work and until recently I was not receiving any disability for my medical problems.  My illness came on rather quickly and my husband had to provide everything and care for me with no questions.  If he were the one that was sick I would do the same for him.   

  

That guest who does not want to pay the medical bills for her husband,  is too selfish and self-absorbed.   She needs a reality check.  How would she feel if she suddenly got sick and could not do anything????  The question was Is This Normal???    NO!!!! It is not normal. 

  

Debi 

  

  

This wife is very selfish. I've been through 5 brain surgieries with my husband and am just glad to have him still with me. He still has another to go through. Thank goodness we do have good insurance but, even so, I'd have sold our home and moved into a tent to still have him here. For better, for worse. Now she needs to brace up and just hang in there. It does get better.

Okay, so here's a doozy for ya. I am 16 years old, Im an A/B student, I go to church youth group, so on and so forth. Well, my mom just got married about a year ago. My step dad has a son who is about a year older than me, he's a good guy, B/C student and is the one who introduced me to church youth group. well, here's the thing, he and I have been "seeing" each other behind our parents backs since about the day we met. I saw him and he took my breath away. He would stay the night at our house because his dad moved in with us and we would stay up all night, just talking. Soon i noticed I was falling for him, hard. And now, two years later, we are very much in love, but, our parents have no idea, well, maybe an idea, but they have never said a thing to us, and we've never ever made the fact that we love each other known for fear our parents will hate us for it, or get a divorce. We have had sex, I lost my virginity to him, and in no way shape or form do I regret it. I dont know what to do, I want to be with him for real, but I know people would think it was weird. So just tell me what you all think.  

-Confussed in Maine 

I really got upset with the woman who didn't want to sacrifice, and help pay for her husband's liver transplant operation!  That woman doesn't love the person, only what her husband can do for her!  I went through situation similar to hers, except my husband had to have heart surgery, triple bypass, and I stood beside him through everything!  This wasn't a fun time, and I had to do basically everything, from being the only one working, to paying all the bills, and for the drugs he needed.   

My husband wasn't a good patient either!  He was very rude to me, and it wasn't  nothing for him to fuss, or cuss me out, for no apparent reason.  No one asks for things like this to happen, but if you value your relationship, and love the person you are married to, you don't mind making sacrifices for them.  You can't put a price on a person's life, even if you end up living in a shack! 

Dr. Phil, 

     My name is Steve and I am just blown away by the comments made by the lady who was upset about the bills she and her husband had have to pay due to his transplant. I believe that if you aren't willing to do whatever it takes to keep the person you love with you, healthy and happy, you just don't know what the word "love" means. 

     This last March I lost my soul mate. His name was Tony and I would have died for him. Six months after we met he was diagnosed with A.I.D.S. and at that time I begged him to do whatever it took to give it to me so we would die together. Well, he loved me too much to do that, so I am still here...healthy. 

     We owned and antique store together and within a year we had to close it and liquidate the assets to pay bills. Within another year he was so sick that he couldn't take care of himself so I worked 40 hours a week at my job and and was with him every night, all night, and every weekend, all weekend, to care for him. This went on for nearly 10 years with no break of any sort...no vacations...no days off. 

     I came home one day to find Tony being taken away by a group from a nursing home. I was horrified to think that I wasn't doing a good enough job and became quite hysterical. Tony called my into the van and told me that he was doing this for me...he wanted me to be able to have a day off and some time to myself. It took me 3 hours to stop blubbering like and idiot and realize that he would get better care there by the professionals though I had to teach them allot about his care. He have 2 catheters,  a feeding tube and a lidacane drip for the pain, plus he was very atrophied in his left hand and foot due to Toxoplasmosis Encephalitis which hit him somewhat like a stroke. 

     I guess I have gone on way too long, but just wanted to let you know that we lost our business, our home (moved into an old mobile home where I still live) our S.U.V. was repossessed and I never once thought of complaining about taking care of him...NEVER CROSSED MY MIND! 

     You know what I do feel bad about?  I lost my soul mate! And now I am alone with no regrets of what I did when he got sick. 

Steve 

I heard the trailer about this show this morning and was shocked.  I assumed I misunderstood what it said.  When I watched the show, I really couldn't quite process what this woman was saying.  I'm still hoping I missed a beat somewhere. 

  

I am a 34 year old woman, a teacher, a wife, and the donor of 65% of my liver to my father.  Much like her husband, my father had a rare disorder that was not caught early on in his life and ended up scarring and destroying his liver.  At 50, he was diagnosed and put on the Transplant list.  My father waited for 3 years on the list, getting sicker everyday, becoming less and less like the man I'd known all my life, and feeling helpless as his life slipped away.  Finally, the doctors allowed the family to start being tested as matches and I was his match.  My father did not want to ask me to do this, but I was adamant that this was a choice I was making out of love.  He reluctantly agreed.  ( I later read in his journal that he had been praying for his donor all those years, praying that the person would die a peaceful death.  He was really tortured about his situation.) 

  

Our surgeries were very long, lasting more than 30 hours for both.  My mother and sister sat in the waiting room for every minute - wondering if things would turn out okay.  In the end, we both made it through.  However, my father died from infection a month later.  I consider myself so lucky that I could give my father this gift.  I consider myself lucky to still have my mother and family.   

  

There were reprecussions from the surgery.  I lost my job.  My fiance and I ended our relationship.  My mother was devastated.  I had to start over from scratch at 29.   

  

Since then, my sister has had two children, my mother has gotten much better and works with a seniors program, I have gotten married, and life has gone on.  Please do yourself a favor and let go of what you THOUGHT life was going to be like and enjoy it as it is - with the man you say you love.  Stop robbing him and yourself of happiness and health.  Please remember you didn't marry the house or the car or the paycheck - you married and the man and you're lucky enough to still have him.  

My mother and i have a strange relationship. in fact, we hardly have a relationship at all. i have a sister who is 3 years younger than me, and my mom has always treated her better. you may call me bitter, but it's the way i feel. my dad and i have always gotten along, but my mom and i never really did. she has always been closer to my sister than to me. maybe it's because she's the baby... i don't know for sure. it's very odd because my mother was in the same order of children in her family as i. she was the 2nd youngest of 6 children, as am i. and she even had a little sister, who she thought was treated better than her as well. so why didn't she see this and try not to do the same thing as her mother? because of our not so good relationship, i feel that i cannot talk to her. and this causes me to sneak around. i've been sneaking around ever since i was in the 5th grade up until recently when i was finally caught. maybe i wanted to be caught. but it didn't help. she still doesn't pay any attention to me. my little sister can come home and just release all her problems to my mom and they'll talk it all out. my sister will talk, my mom will listen. but if i try to do the same thing, my mom is too busy with something else. whether it's the phone, or work, or even my little sister.     is this normal? is the way that im feeling normal? or is it just a phase that i'll get over once i move out of the house? what can i do to prevent this from happening when i have children myself?

Well, you're 16--so I think your parents may be pissed more because you're in a "Church Youth Group" and  had sex. Not that I care, but I would think they might. I also think a lot has to do with the forbidden thrill of this relationship.  

 I have a feeling if you don't tell them in a calm manner, it will all come out way ugly; like when you're making out at on the den couch some night. LOL.  

  

Is this normal?  I was married for 35 years.  Have two daughters and 4 grandchildren.  Two years ago my husband's behavior changed.  After serveral instances I became convinced that he was having an affair and I confronted him.  He reassured me that nothing was happen, etc., etc.  

  

Anyway, a few weeks ago after a late night phone call to his cell phone I again became convinced that he was having an affair. I had him followed and checked his cell phone records and found out that we was, in fact, having an affair.  He was having an affair with a MAN.  Unbelievable!!!!! 

  

I confronted him with the evidence and he admitted to it.  He also admitted that he had an affair in his late teens with another boy (which he said is perfectly normal) and had decided that he probably would never marry and has always felt attraction to other men.  THIRTY-FIVE YEARS I was married to him and did not have a clue!! 

  

He's now moved out, has an apartment and is telling people "we just didn't get along anymore".  What I'm confused about is that I don't feel much of anything.  Dumbfounded, yes.  But a very serious lack of tears, etc.  What's wrong with me??