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Topic : 10/25 Deadly Injustice

Number of Replies: 540
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Created on : Thursday, October 20, 2005, 02:49:48 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

You never think that your family will be hurt by someone you know, let alone someone you once cared for. But that's exactly what happened to one family. The story begins in a small town in Oklahoma, a safe place just like any town in the heartland of America. Donna and Jerry dated for five years, but when Donna tried to break off the relationship, she could never have predicted the lengths to which Jerry would go to hurt her. This real life drama unfolds with horror and violence and unimaginable twists and turns, but ends with a message of hope. See what good Dr. Phil believes can come from an unthinkable tragedy. Join the discussion.

 

Find out what happened on the show.

 

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October 25, 2005, 9:22 am CDT

at a loss for words..

I have not seen the show today, and will not watch it - reading the story on the web is enough for me.  I lived in OK with my x-husband for 10 years - he physical abused me many times.  Now he is remarried with a young son and abusing his wife..how do I know this? He called me last summer and told me!  I have thought many times how to help her w/out jeopardizing myself. Should I ask for the OK police reports to be sent to the town they live in? what a mess..my life was forever changed by his abuse and 10 yrs. of stalking after our divorce..."if I can't have you, no one will have you" type of stuff. There are some very sick, insecure men in our country, who are very manipulative and have a huge sense of entitlement about women.  How do we, as a society, change this mindset? I still see so many young women (on Dr. Phil's message board 'Marriage/Abuse') who continue to live with men who abuse them. It is such a tragedy for our country. Did we learn nothing from O.J.?  Peace to all here - I will go to the spiritofcaitlin.org website and see what I can do.       
 
October 25, 2005, 9:24 am CDT

Deadly Injustice

When I watch the show today I was filled with such sorrow for this family. 

I hope they catch the other man that is suppose to take up where the killer left off. 

I myself was held at gunpoint twice by my ex. The police wouldn't help me  

because I didn't have witnessess. The marks on my neck were still red when I got  

to the police station. and they told me. Anyone could have put the marks there. 

When I told them about the gun in my face they did nothing they didn't like being  

involved in domestic violence.  

He would infact tell me I can kill you hide your body no one will ever know it was me. 

You cannot describe the fear. 

I felt for Donna and her family because I know the fear.  Caitlin was and is a beautiful girl. She is now someones angel. 

I know that will not help your sorrow.  

I lost my daughter to, but not to death. 

I hope you can get the laws changed. and I know that Dr.phil will do everything he can to make this happen. I don't live in your state or I would write who I could to help with the (Caitlin Law). 

  

 
October 25, 2005, 9:24 am CDT

To Be Held

If I could encourage Donna, her family, Ada Okalahoma and anyone who has experienced this type of tradegy I would let them hear a song by Natalie Grant called HELD.  She sings about the loss of a child and what it means to be held when the sacred is torn from your life and you survive.  Maybe in some small way this will comfort and help with the healing process.
 
October 25, 2005, 9:32 am CDT

wrong

Quote From: kstwin64

I'm not sure a "flawed" system is the problem.  

  

A high bail was set ($200,000) based on the evidence at hand and there were no known mitigating circumstances to consider raising the initial bail, and bail was met by the suspect from his own resources (and that would suggest a stable individual, at least I would think so in the Court's eyes, unless he came into funds improperly, and that didn't seem to be an issue).  

  

Then, after the fact, a previous (20 years earlier) alleged violent act was to have occurred but never brought to Court because it was never filed. Was it a kidnapping, a domestic violence issue, what? And why was it never reported oifficially?  

  

I think that where the flaw is, is if a person can years later claim to have been a victim of something that occurred years earlier, and had that alleged offender been prosecuted the years earlier it may have affected the outcome of a later serious offense bond hearing.  

  

But how do you write a law to deal with that? If someone does NOT report having been violated by another person and then that same other person commits an egregious act much, much later, perhaps even years later, then we're on the horns of a dilemma.  

  

As Dr. Phil often has said, the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, and I would suggest that this offender's murderous outburst would have flown under almost every state's radar based on his described-for-bail-purposes past behavior. 

  

You can bet that the uncle with 17 years law enforcement experience was as blindsided as everyone else, and even though it wasn't mentioned I'd bet he may have have been surprised at the amount of the bail but he probably had no reason to think if it was met that his niece's life was in danger. He might have thought that the worst that would happen was that his sister might get hurt somehow but her moving away "solved" that.  

  

Who was to know and how do you legislate for that unknown? 

  

The state constitution of OK makes provisions for denying bail based on the facts of the kidnapping of Donna. We want to create a rebuttable presumption that the person is not safe for release based on actions like his. He can then prove his worthiness of release at a hearing. At that hearing Donna would have explained that she told him everything he wanted to hear that day and that he would punish her for lying to him. He did punish her. 

  

Van Wooten 

 
October 25, 2005, 9:54 am CDT

It Just Happened Here

I watched the Dr. Phil show this morning and I am sorry to say that tragedy just struck here in Laurens, S. C.  To make a long story short, a 20 year old mother of three children all under the age of 3 was gunned down by her ex-boyfriend, the children's 23 year old father.  The father turned the gun on himself after killing her.  The children were unharmed but were present while all of this happened.  Both were funeralized this past Friday, October 21.  Same scenario....man arrested for domestic violence.  Released on bail because this was his first offense.  He was scheduled to appear before a judge soon.  I thank Dr. Phil for his concerns in this matter.  I pray that something will be done quickly because it's not gonna stop otherwise.  PLEASE DON'T LET KAITLIN (OKLAHOMA) AND TIFFANY (LAURENS) DYING BE IN VAIN!
 
October 25, 2005, 10:04 am CDT

Fix the law

The state constitution of OK makes provisions for denying bail based on the facts of Donna's kidnapping; the system failed to indentify the danger. We want to create a rebuttable presumption in cases like this where the accused must prove in a hearing that they are safe to release. In that hearing Donna would have explained that she told him everything that he wanted to hear that day just to survive and that, if released, he would punish her for lying to him. He punished her. 

  

Van Wooten 

  

www.SpiritofCaitlin.com 

 
October 25, 2005, 10:13 am CDT

10/25 Deadly Injustice

Quote From: nursie1992

When I watch the show today I was filled with such sorrow for this family. 

I hope they catch the other man that is suppose to take up where the killer left off. 

I myself was held at gunpoint twice by my ex. The police wouldn't help me  

because I didn't have witnessess. The marks on my neck were still red when I got  

to the police station. and they told me. Anyone could have put the marks there. 

When I told them about the gun in my face they did nothing they didn't like being  

involved in domestic violence.  

He would infact tell me I can kill you hide your body no one will ever know it was me. 

You cannot describe the fear. 

I felt for Donna and her family because I know the fear.  Caitlin was and is a beautiful girl. She is now someones angel. 

I know that will not help your sorrow.  

I lost my daughter to, but not to death. 

I hope you can get the laws changed. and I know that Dr.phil will do everything he can to make this happen. I don't live in your state or I would write who I could to help with the (Caitlin Law). 

  

You know I was married to a man for almost 14 years and he stalked me and followed me home from work one day and made me sign a paper stating that if anything happened to the both of us that his sister would raise our daughter. 1 week later her showed up at my house in the middle of the night with a loaded 9mm pistol. I was in shock and didn't know what to do. I let him in my house and talked to him for a bit and convinced him to give me at least the bullet. There was only one. 

  

Another time he had a church leader call me and had me go down to his house, where he had this same gun. We sat there for almost 4 hours, I was so scared. You know the police do nothing! I had a protective order and, you call the police and they say "Oh well I can't do anything". There really needs to be REAL laws to help us and others. it isn't domestic it is breaking the laws to threaten and stalk, but they still do nothing. I too am so sorry for this family and others just like it. 

  

mj 

 
October 25, 2005, 10:15 am CDT

another domestic violence tragedy

  

Everyday the news is filled with tragic stories of families destroyed by violence . Why are these tragedies still happening when there are so many resources and organizations available to help protect ? I think part of the problem is people aren't aware of all their options .Why are people afraid to stand up and not be victims ?  It saddens me to think that these events could have been avoided . The laws are not perfect but we have the ability to invoke change and to protect ourselves .  Caitlin's Law is a step toward change but so much more needs to done to give victims of violence an awareness of all their options .   

My thoughts and prayers are with all ......... Tina 

 
October 25, 2005, 10:35 am CDT

Deadly Injustice, indeed!

     My prayers go out to you in your time of loss. I pray that Caitlin's law will pass without delay. If I lived in your state, I would hound the legislators until it came to pass. I'm sorry that it takes a tragedy like this to get something accomplished. I can only pray that Dr. Phil has generated enough attention to make Caitlin's Law a reality. Perhaps then, other families won't have to suffer the anguish of losing a loved one in such a manner.
 
October 25, 2005, 10:37 am CDT

Caitlinsdad (sp?)

Quote From: caitlindad

The state constitution of OK makes provisions for denying bail based on the facts of Donna's kidnapping; the system failed to indentify the danger. We want to create a rebuttable presumption in cases like this where the accused must prove in a hearing that they are safe to release. In that hearing Donna would have explained that she told him everything that he wanted to hear that day just to survive and that, if released, he would punish her for lying to him. He punished her. 

  

Van Wooten 

  

www.SpiritofCaitlin.com 

Hello, I just tried this link and got this error 

No results were found for the search term www.SpiritofCaitlin.org.

Is there something wrong with the way it is spelled? 

I just copied it from your post and then your profile. 

They are different, one says .com and the other says.org 

one of them I got a shipping place. 

I thought that you should know. Bless you!!!! 

  

mj 

 
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