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Topic : 10/25 Deadly Injustice

Number of Replies: 540
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Created on : Thursday, October 20, 2005, 02:49:48 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

You never think that your family will be hurt by someone you know, let alone someone you once cared for. But that's exactly what happened to one family. The story begins in a small town in Oklahoma, a safe place just like any town in the heartland of America. Donna and Jerry dated for five years, but when Donna tried to break off the relationship, she could never have predicted the lengths to which Jerry would go to hurt her. This real life drama unfolds with horror and violence and unimaginable twists and turns, but ends with a message of hope. See what good Dr. Phil believes can come from an unthinkable tragedy. Join the discussion.

 

Find out what happened on the show.

 

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October 25, 2005, 10:51 am CDT

10/25 Deadly Injustice

Quote From: caitlindad

The state constitution of OK makes provisions for denying bail based on the facts of the kidnapping of Donna. We want to create a rebuttable presumption that the person is not safe for release based on actions like his. He can then prove his worthiness of release at a hearing. At that hearing Donna would have explained that she told him everything he wanted to hear that day and that he would punish her for lying to him. He did punish her. 

  

Van Wooten 

I am truly sorry for your loss and I wish I could make the hurt go away.  

  

And I hope you don't think I posted in support of that "Jerry." Far from it.  

  

I hope you're successful in getting some law put in place.  

  

 
October 25, 2005, 10:56 am CDT

oops - www.SpiritofCaitlin.org

Quote From: mjkkas

Hello, I just tried this link and got this error 

No results were found for the search term www.SpiritofCaitlin.org.

Is there something wrong with the way it is spelled? 

I just copied it from your post and then your profile. 

They are different, one says .com and the other says.org 

one of them I got a shipping place. 

I thought that you should know. Bless you!!!! 

  

mj 

www.spiritofcaitlin.org is working porperly. the .com address just needs to be programmed.
 
October 25, 2005, 10:59 am CDT

spiritofcaitlin.org

Quote From: caitlindad

www.spiritofcaitlin.org is working porperly. the .com address just needs to be programmed.
 
October 25, 2005, 11:01 am CDT

This just happened again in Marin, CA

This week in Marin County, the body of a woman who had been stalked by her ex-boyfriend was found in the trunk of his car at a look out point near the Golden Gate Bridge. He was with the car and was arrested. She had lived in fear of him for years.  

  

My friend's husband killed her son and himself in a similar situation. She was unable to get any assistance from the DA or the police because he didn't have a recorded history of violence. She had made the move to leave him and killed her son in front of her. Not a day goes by that we don't all recall the sureal experience of getting the news and attending the funeral. It really made me question everything.  

  

These evil people are a breed all their own. The laws around obsession and stalking need to be specific to their crimes. They need to be locked up until their trials, no bail - ever.  

 
October 25, 2005, 11:02 am CDT

10/25 Deadly Injustice

Quote From: golden1

     My prayers go out to you in your time of loss. I pray that Caitlin's law will pass without delay. If I lived in your state, I would hound the legislators until it came to pass. I'm sorry that it takes a tragedy like this to get something accomplished. I can only pray that Dr. Phil has generated enough attention to make Caitlin's Law a reality. Perhaps then, other families won't have to suffer the anguish of losing a loved one in such a manner.

I am so sorry about this terrible tragedy.  Legislation needs to be passed for these unstable criminals, although these single parents should shoulder a tremendous responsibility themselves.  Divorce is so rampant in this country and there are many single parents out there.  When you have children, those children's welfare should come first.  That means parents need to consider long and hard about the individuals that they expose there children to.  This character had a history of problems dating way back and I find it impossible to believe that this guy was a "good" moral role model during the several years this mother was dating this guy.   

  

This mother paid the ultimate sacrifice for her poor judgement in allowing this man into her family's lives.  Nothing said could lesson the pain, but not only does the message of abuse laws need to be told, but also the message of the responsibilities of single parents and the choices in the characters they expose their families to.  Children should come before parents attractions. 

  

Linda, Milledgeville, GA 

  

  

  

  

 
October 25, 2005, 11:04 am CDT

Sorry

Quote From: caitlindad

www.spiritofcaitlin.org is working porperly. the .com address just needs to be programmed.

I get the same message that is there is an error. 

Sorry,  maybe it is just me, but I just copy and paste 

the link and I get this error. 

 
October 25, 2005, 11:06 am CDT

Deadly Injustice

Quote From: mjkkas

You know I was married to a man for almost 14 years and he stalked me and followed me home from work one day and made me sign a paper stating that if anything happened to the both of us that his sister would raise our daughter. 1 week later her showed up at my house in the middle of the night with a loaded 9mm pistol. I was in shock and didn't know what to do. I let him in my house and talked to him for a bit and convinced him to give me at least the bullet. There was only one. 

  

Another time he had a church leader call me and had me go down to his house, where he had this same gun. We sat there for almost 4 hours, I was so scared. You know the police do nothing! I had a protective order and, you call the police and they say "Oh well I can't do anything". There really needs to be REAL laws to help us and others. it isn't domestic it is breaking the laws to threaten and stalk, but they still do nothing. I too am so sorry for this family and others just like it. 

  

mj 

mj,  

I was also married 14 1/2 years.  

When we have to beg for our lives the only person that knows that kind of fear is the people  that have had to live it. 

When you try to tell someone they just ask why didn't you leave him. It seems so simple to them. 

They weren't there, they didn't see, they didn't fear, they don't understand.  

Then you say to yourself, Why bother  and tell anyone anymore they don't understand they weren't there and I'm really tired of trying to explain it to them, I feel more Judged than anything. and then you keep it all inside and the person has in one way accomplished what he set out to do. A part of you is gone and the part that is gone is what they don't understand.  

I am sorry that you had to go through that kind of fear. 

I am sorry that a young girl had to die to let people know that when a man is threating a woman that it's not always just a threat.  

My little girl was 12 @ the end of our marriage. She had seen him pull the shot gun on me (first time). Second time she didn't see it. It was a pistol do not know what kind. But he had never hurt her and she loved him so very much. In our state at they allowed them at 12 to chose which parent they wanted to live with and she chose her father.  

He turned her against me with lies and till this day she will rarely have anything to do with me. 

He even talked her into hitting me so  I would hit her back and he could get me for Child Abuse. 

She hit me in the right hand one day until blood was dripping from my hand with a ring that was on her finger. The only thing i could do was Cry. Not from pain in my hand but pain in my heart. 

I had to leave the state and move to another one. 

I am glad you didn't die at the hands of that man.  

Maybe, Just maybe someone will listen now and not just judge. 

were not weak, were scared.  

Thanks for your reply. 

nursie1992  

 
October 25, 2005, 11:11 am CDT

10/25 Deadly Injustice

Quote From: lburnspeac

I have not seen the show today, and will not watch it - reading the story on the web is enough for me.  I lived in OK with my x-husband for 10 years - he physical abused me many times.  Now he is remarried with a young son and abusing his wife..how do I know this? He called me last summer and told me!  I have thought many times how to help her w/out jeopardizing myself. Should I ask for the OK police reports to be sent to the town they live in? what a mess..my life was forever changed by his abuse and 10 yrs. of stalking after our divorce..."if I can't have you, no one will have you" type of stuff. There are some very sick, insecure men in our country, who are very manipulative and have a huge sense of entitlement about women.  How do we, as a society, change this mindset? I still see so many young women (on Dr. Phil's message board 'Marriage/Abuse') who continue to live with men who abuse them. It is such a tragedy for our country. Did we learn nothing from O.J.?  Peace to all here - I will go to the spiritofcaitlin.org website and see what I can do.       

Thank you so much for sharing your story.  Our story is a little different in that there were many instances of cruelty and control that went without response, or the response was to acquiesce.    But this outcome was not unforseen.  People MUST BELIEVE WHAT THE CONTROLLER SAYS.   Jerry cut Donna and the girls off from all of their support systems.  He cut them off from Donna's family and Donna allowed this for whatever reason.  They could not do this with us because we have court ordered visitation.  Jerry made threats and his daughter harrassed Caitlin at school.  In fact his daughter threatened Caitlin that morning at school.   

  

After Donna was kidnapped I called the Ada Police Department to find out what they were doing to protect Caitlin and Amanda.  I was told that it was their job to respond and not to prevent. 

  

Please visit www.spiritofcaitlin.org to learn about Caitlin and what her Daddy and I are doing to honor her. 

  

Caitlin's Step MOM 

Cindy      

 
October 25, 2005, 11:13 am CDT

10/25 Deadly Injustice

Quote From: acd2005

I am so sorry about this terrible tragedy.  Legislation needs to be passed for these unstable criminals, although these single parents should shoulder a tremendous responsibility themselves.  Divorce is so rampant in this country and there are many single parents out there.  When you have children, those children's welfare should come first.  That means parents need to consider long and hard about the individuals that they expose there children to.  This character had a history of problems dating way back and I find it impossible to believe that this guy was a "good" moral role model during the several years this mother was dating this guy.   

  

This mother paid the ultimate sacrifice for her poor judgement in allowing this man into her family's lives.  Nothing said could lesson the pain, but not only does the message of abuse laws need to be told, but also the message of the responsibilities of single parents and the choices in the characters they expose their families to.  Children should come before parents attractions. 

  

Linda, Milledgeville, GA 

  

  

  

  

Thank you for recognizing this truth.  Please visit www.SpiritofCaitlin.org to learn about Caitlin and what we are doing to honor her life. 

  

Cindy Wooten 

Caitlin's StepMOM  

 
October 25, 2005, 11:16 am CDT

10/25 Deadly Injustice

Quote From: loveshow

I watched the show today and my heart goes out to this family I just want to let them know that my prays will be with them and that I will pray with all my heart and soul that they can get the law in place before something like this happens to anyone else's. GOD BE WITH EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU.

Thank you so much.  We all need your prayers...Please visit www.SpiritofCaitlin.org to learn about Caitlin and what we are doing to honor her life. 

  

Cindy 

Caitlin's StepMOM   

 
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