Quote From: flitrfliesI think women who aren't comfortable with there own sexuality have a real hard time letting their hair down in the bedroom (or where ever you have sex!).
Having 4 children, I have had many 'ups' and 'downs', if you will, when it comes to playful times the bed. I love to have sex in public places. However, I won't be the top person in the bedroom, my thighs are too big, and I'm afraid I'll squish him. Seriously.
I have even brought another woman into our bed so the three of us could play out our fantasies! There were no conflicts because of our threesome.
Love and sex, for me, and I am now finding out for my husband, has it's ups and downs. My husband and I use to has sex everyday. That was just a few years ago. Now I'm lucky to have him once a week, sometimes I think he just gives 'it up' for his own release. I think about sex constantly all day long. I'm not sure if it's my 'sexual' peek or if it's hormones. I had baby, she's 10 months. The first trimester of my pregnancy, I was a 'nympho'. I was even masturbating twice a day. I was totally out of control. My husband also has a new hobby.
Although he has always had an interest in video games. He started playing an on-line game ... Final Fantasy X1. It's a role playing game. For those of you who are familiar. He plays it ALL the time. It has even caused problems in our relationship. And now to our sex life. I think he even thinks about play the game while we are having sex. That's probably the reason behind us only making love once a week. His thoughts are occupied by the game and not of me. I have had numerous conversations about the 'game', but he just doesn't get it. I have even told him I'm going to find a woman for myself! He doesn't see anything wrong with that!
Funny how I can totally tell the nation about my sex life. I think it is absolutely important in a marriage. For both partners to give themselves to their mate, even if they have a headache. Every one loves sex. They just have issues sometimes that need to be dealt with. Don't ever hide behind the fact that there is something else bothering you therefore you don't want to pleasure your mate. Think of all the calories you'll burn! Sex is a great outlet to release stress also. Just do it!
As with any other aspect of a marriage, each partner has to have communication, patience and be able to compromise, how else are you going to get what each of you desires.
Happy Love Making
Let me start by saying that this post is NOT to attack you or anyone in anyway.....its simply my opinion! And I commend you for being comfortable enough to talk about your sex life on such a public board!
I feel that I'm pretty comfortable with my sexuality BUT I dont really agree with the whole having sex in public thing, I think thats something that should be done in private! People just shouldnt be having sex in parks, movies theaters, etc. where anyone, especially children could see whats going on! My best friend has had sex in movie theaters & everytime she tells me, I cringe & ask her how she can do it! I personally would NOT want to suddenly turn around, walk up or down the aisle and see a couple having sex.......if I wanted to see people having sex, I would just watch a porn movie or something! So I believe that people CAN be completely comfortable with their sexualities and not want/like to have sex in public! In my opinion, KEEP IT IN YOUR HOUSE!
Personally, I see NOTHING wrong with bringing a 3rd person in the bed & playing out fantasies every now and then, AS LONG AS BOTH PARTNERS ARE OK WITH IT & AGREE ON THE PERSON! I seen a Dr. Phil show before where a couple had a 3some & it eventually started ruining their marriage & Dr. Phil told him it was wrong to bring a 3rd person in the bed.....THEN on another show, he debated the issue with a sex therapist, who saw nothing wrong with it, it was interesting! Anyway like I said, as long as both people are ok with it & the other person......then I see no problem with it! It seems like it could be fun if its done for the right reasons (like doing it JUST to "fix" a problem wouldnt be a good reason) & with the right person!....... GO FOR IT!
Sex in a marriage IS important BUT, its NOT the MOST important thing!!! I'm no doctor or sex therapist but from observing your post it seems like the sex is REALLY important to you.....like it could be the most important! Once again, i'm not trying to attack you & I could be wrong, it just sounds like most of your focus is on sex! And if you do see it that way or are having a lot of issues with not having sex as much as you used to, then mabe you & your husband DO need to seek the help of a sex therapist! Just a suggestion! The other thing that led me to believe that sex was more important to you was when you said, "For both partners to give themselves to their mate, even if they have a headache. Everyone loves sex. They just have issues sometimes that need to be delt with. Don't ever hide the fact that there is something else bothering you therefore you don't want to pleasure you mate.......Just do it!" That statement really got me thinking, yes everyone loves sex but I'm sorry........If I have a headache or I just dont feel good, I'm not going to be pleasuring ANYONE (not even myself) if I'm not in the mood! Why should I just forget about whats bothering me, just to have sex with my mate cause he's horny??? Sex should be enjoyed by BOTH mates, so why would/should someone have sex with their mate when they know they (the person who is "bothered" or sick) wont enjoy it??? That just doesnt make sense to me! Then you say that each partner has to have the ability to communicate, be patient & compromise........which is true, but it sounds like you just contradicted yourself! How are you supposed to "just do it" to please your mate when you have a headache & aren't in the mood and have patience & compromisation (if thats a word, lol) at the same time? Just wondering!
I cant wait to see what these couple have to say & ask and what Dr. Phil's advice is.......this show looks really interesting!
She played the part of sexy “Samantha Jones” in the hit TV series Sex and the City. Now Kim Cattrall has written her second book about female sexuality. She joins Dr. Phil to help couples with questions achieve sexual satisfaction. Wayne and Erin were virgins when they got married. Now, two years later, Erin still isn't achieving the big "O." Then, Tom wishes his wife, Kathy, would make some noise in the bedroom. She says she's just shy -- so why does she moan when she eats good food? Plus, he begs her to do it, but she thinks it's disgusting. Hear Dr. Phil's advice for an engaged couple facing oral sex issues. And, a married couple asks how to put the fire back in their sex life. This show is strictly adults only.
