Quote From: bgtwinmomI am so glad to know that Dr. Phil has brought to light one of the biggest problems that married couples face. My Mom called me to say guess what!? I have not seen the show yet, but I have read through all the blurbs on the website.
I am an Independent Consultant for Pure Romance. This is not a plug, only my experiences and things I talk to women about every day!
The problems these couples face and the problems being discussed on these boards are the same problems I talk to women about almost daily! Yes there are days when we don't feel like it. Yes women all around the globe "fake it" for their man. Yes, some days we find the sexiest thing in the world is the sight of him loading the dishwasher and bathing the kids. Why? Cause we aren't doing it! But at the same time, we all have needs. If your needs are not being fulfilled, I think you have to look inside first. Couples tend to blame each other when it comes to sex, but it's usually out of frustration (not always mind you, I know there are exceptions).
A lot of women I talk to just want to "get it over with". Why does it have to be a chore? I then ask them why they think of it that way and it's usually because there is no romance, no fun, no foreplay, kids get in the way, they're tired, etc.
First things first, if you don't know how to please yourself, no one will! Learn your body, learn what feels good and what doesn't. Then SHOW HIM how to please you! Ask him what he likes or doesn't. COMMUNICATION is key. Talk to each other. Tell your significant other what you need and encourage them to tell you the same. Without it, things will be stale, if not now, then eventually.
If you have lost the drive, there are things out there that can help. Buy an arousal cream, they can help kick start those feelings for you! Not in the mood, spray something with Pheremones.... that'll help! Play with lotions and lubes. There are many out there that are flavored and vaginal friendly! Toys can do wonders for you. I'm not talking about the phallic ones, though, if that's what you want, go for it! A bullet used the right way will change your bedroom life!
I can go on and on about this. I dedicate my time to helping women find that romantic spark again or keep the flame steadily burning!
Thanks again Dr. Phil!
Ok, I feel all of these. And I am afraid I am going to lose my husband if I don't get over these feelings. But by the end of the day I am tired (emotionally & physically) and I don't want to have sex. My body just wants to go to sleep. If my husband could get it everyday he would. I do know my body, he does all the right stuff, we do have toys, but my mind just don't want it. I have been having sex since i was 15, I got pregnet at 15 was married for 11.5 years to a terrible man (abusive mentally and physically) if I didn't want sex he would take it. We would fight over sex all the time. Finally divorced him. And now I have a wonderful man, but we fight over sex because I am the one that doesn't want to have sex. When we argue he always says " well you use to do this and you use to do that and now you don't do anything". Yes, 8 years ago when we met I use to like having sex and doing oral sex and somewhere between then and now I hate sex. What can I do to get past this???? Thanks Hopeless in Ohio
She played the part of sexy “Samantha Jones” in the hit TV series Sex and the City. Now Kim Cattrall has written her second book about female sexuality. She joins Dr. Phil to help couples with questions achieve sexual satisfaction. Wayne and Erin were virgins when they got married. Now, two years later, Erin still isn't achieving the big "O." Then, Tom wishes his wife, Kathy, would make some noise in the bedroom. She says she's just shy -- so why does she moan when she eats good food? Plus, he begs her to do it, but she thinks it's disgusting. Hear Dr. Phil's advice for an engaged couple facing oral sex issues. And, a married couple asks how to put the fire back in their sex life. This show is strictly adults only.
