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Topic : 10/26 More Sex With Kim Cattrall!

Number of Replies: 331
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Created on : Thursday, October 20, 2005, 02:52:57 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

She played the part of sexy “Samantha Jones” in the hit TV series Sex and the City. Now Kim Cattrall has written her second book about female sexuality. She joins Dr. Phil to help couples with questions achieve sexual satisfaction. Wayne and Erin were virgins when they got married. Now, two years later, Erin still isn't achieving the big "O."  Then, Tom wishes his wife, Kathy, would make some noise in the bedroom. She says she's just shy -- so why does she moan when she eats good food? Plus, he begs her to do it, but she thinks it's disgusting. Hear Dr. Phil's advice for an engaged couple facing oral sex issues. And, a married couple asks how to put the fire back in their sex life. This show is strictly adults only.

 

Find out what happened on the show.

 

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October 26, 2005, 11:01 am PDT

10/26 More Sex With Kim Cattrall!

Quote From: soon2bmrsk

My best friend has been married for almost 2 years, and recently her husband (by the way they are both 24yrs old) has decided he would rather masturbate by himself multiple times a day and night instead of having sex with her, she wants to have sex but he always has an excuse.  She told him how this makes her feel and he doesnt seem to care. I dont understand and dont know what to tell her b/c I do not have this problem my fiance has never chose to masturbate over sex.  Any suggestions on why he does this and what she should do.
I think she should try marriage counselling.  This sounds like an act of hostility toward her, but we would only be guessing about the reasons for his conduct.
 

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October 26, 2005, 11:15 am PDT

10/26 More Sex With Kim Cattrall!

Quote From: sunnywomen

Dear Mrs. Stud, 

  

                           There is nothing wrong with being a virgin the day you get married. I was 19 when my husband and I got married and he was 28, we were both virgins in which I'm very proud of because it was a special gift that we wanted to share with each other not any body else. 

                           If you have sex before you're married there will be feelings of regret that you didn't wait. No disrespect to your grandmother but you don't have to live with someone before you marry them, what's the sense? You'll get to know them by being around them that's how you'll know if your compatable.  

                          If your boyfriend or girlfriend can't except you or your values and if they aren't willing to wait to have sex unitl marriage then kick them to the curb. They are not worth a pot to spit in, don't waste your purity on someone who sees you as a trophy to brag to their friends about or a piece of meat. We women deserve respect and dignity and if a man can't handle that then as Dr.Phil says "Don't let the door hit you in the butt on the way out." 

My husband and I didn't wait until we were married. We met in high school and we married 6 years later.  We enjoyed sharing sexually ALL through those 6 years. I have never had any regrets about that at all and I have never felt that those years were sinful.  We have always been very open to each others interests and ideas. I will admit that our sex life is not about respect and dignity - it is about love and joy. Yet , in spite of all of that, we have had a very happy marriage and we both think our sex life is marvelous. 

  

I wonder-do you expect that he still thinks of me as a piece of meat? Do you still think that I should kick him to the curb even though we have a very successful and happy 28 year relationship, a 22 year marriage and two beautiful children?  

 
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October 26, 2005, 11:35 am PDT

10/26 More Sex With Kim Cattrall!

Quote From: judyblue22

I think she should try marriage counselling.  This sounds like an act of hostility toward her, but we would only be guessing about the reasons for his conduct.

It could be his way of holding the power in the marriage.  I've seen it done once.  I can't believe any woman would get herself in THAT situation, where she wants it and he doesn't, but I have seen it once, and he was doing it to punish her.  She didn't like sleeping alone, etc.  Of course, the way to fix that is to stop asking for sex from him and in fact to give it a rest even if he tries  That will put things back into perspective for him.   

  

However, this may be a case of him having an affair, as I've heard that some men do that during an affair.  OR it may be that he is having impotence problems, but is able to masturbate successfully, which is probably the most common reason why this would happen.  I had a "boyfriend" once who didn't want to have sex, and I had simply never encountered anything remotely resembling impotence before and I thought he was (and he may have been) having sex with other women, so it took me years to understand he was having impotence with me BECAUSE he liked me so much and because I was a strong presence.  He would have sex with really drunk short blond girls, because he could deal with that.  His problem.   

 
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October 26, 2005, 11:37 am PDT

No need for pity

Quote From: wirth69

  When I read about an up coming show with the couple who were virgins' when they got married,my heart sank. I believe with all my heart that people SHOULD NOT WAIT for marriage to have sex. That idea is really impractical. I am not saying people should sleep around and have sex with anyone they meet,but would you buy a car without a test drive! There is a real possibility that you and the person you think is your perfect mate may not be sexually compatable! You my be adventurous and they,more conservetive.What if they have desires that you find disgusting? 

  My mother waited and tells me"If I would have tried it before I married,I damn sure wouldn't have married it." My Grandmother(who is nearly 80)says "Young people should live togther before they get married because you never really know someone til you have lived with them" 

  I tell my kids'(daughter 13 , son 18)they should wait til the subject of marriage comes up,but not waiting doesn't them immoral people. 

  Four months ago I married the man the kids and I have lived with for 5 years! And no,neither one of feel we were a bad influence on the kids. 

  

                                                                                                                                               sincerly, 

                                                                                                                                             Mrs.Stud 

  

                 P.S. His kids' (ages 23-31)thought it was a good idea to live togher first,too! 

You're entitled to your opinion and if not waiting has worked for you and others, then that's fine. However, there's no need to feel sorry for those of us who did wait. 

  

While waiting may seem impractical" to you, I didn't need a "test drive" to know that my husband and I were going to be compatible sexually. We were both virgins.  

  

Our physical chemistry during the many times we kissed and held each other was proof enough that we were going to be fine. We also talked very plainly about it long before we got married, about likes and dislikes. We were very much on the same page when we married. And our sex life is great because we made our discoveries together, without memories of former partners in our heads or unspoken expectations.  

  

All I'm saying is that you do NOT have to have sex or live together before you're married to find sexual happiness. Trust me, there are a lot of us out there who didn't and are very, very happy. 

 
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October 26, 2005, 11:52 am PDT

10/26 More Sex With Kim Cattrall!

Quote From: judyblue22

I think she should try marriage counselling.  This sounds like an act of hostility toward her, but we would only be guessing about the reasons for his conduct.
Thank you I have suggested that to her also.
 
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October 26, 2005, 11:52 am PDT

10/26 More Sex With Kim Cattrall!

Quote From: jettav

Good for you for waiting, I was 28 when I met my hubby and 29 when I married him and absoluitely NO regrets for waiting til marriage to be with my one and only and we are doing just fine and dandy in the bedroom,even after 12 1/2 years of marriage and two children, still going strong and it IS a good thing to keep your self pure for your one and only and yep, I said NO to a couple of guys and even broke up with them because they couldn't wait for me to be ready and for a committment, No way on this green earth will I encourage my girls to have sex just because they feel they need to TRY it before they get married, They are being taught to save themselves for their husbands and if they make the mistake and do it before then, they will have to pay the consequences whatever they may be for them. There are too many people out there who will say and do wahtever they can to get into bed with some one and afterwards, most of the time there are regrets and hard feelings and a girl can get pregnant the first time having sex even with protection and they don't always know how many girls the guy has slept with before her and she can even end up with a std even while using protection. Having sex before marriage can most certainly bring in a lot more unexpecteds then waiting ofr the right mate to make a committment to, I see it all the time in the field of work that I have worked in and the youth around me, absolutely nothing wrong with being virgins til marriage, It is possible and CAN be very fullfilling.

Wow, I am surprised to find so many people waiting for marriage on this board -- on most message boards I go to, there is maybe one other person waiting or who did wait! lol 

  

We were 23 when we got married and waited until the wedding night for religious beliefs.  I'm almost sad to see so many shows like this where people who wait have problems with thier sex life after marriage, that is certainly not true for every couple and sometimes I worry that gives us virgins a bad name!  Hubby and I discussed sex and birth control a lot before the wedding, and we were *fairly* prepared going to into it (but how prepared can you be when you've never done it? lol)  We had some problems with pain during sex and sexual side effects from medication early in our marriage, but once we overcame those hurdles our sex life has been very satisfying! :)  (In fact, those problems just strengthened our relationship in the long run, because it forced us to open up more and really communicate!)  We may not do it quite as often as we'd like just because I'm a grad student and have a crazy-busy schedule, but we make up for it on school breaks, and hubby is so incredibly understanding about it, it makes me love him so much more... he never pressures me to have sex when I'm busy, but his eyes sure do light up when I tell him I have a little extra time to fool around when he was thinking I would be studying all night! ;)  (Neither of us can wait until I graduate in December!  woohoo!)   

  

We've always thought of our sex life as just as much of a partnership as the rest of the marriage ... there are nights where hubby doesn't ask for sex because he knows I'm too busy or sometimes sick, and there are times when I go ahead and have sex to pleasure him (though I admit I usually end up enjoying it before it's over....).  I know it's easier to say than do, but I really believe the key to a great sex life is being considerate and putting the other person first!  Sex has always been the best when we've focused on the other person!  Granted, we have only been married 1.5 years now ... ask me again in 20 years and I'll tell you how well that philospophy worked for us! :) 

 
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October 26, 2005, 11:54 am PDT

Weird

Quote From: judyblue22

I think she should try marriage counselling.  This sounds like an act of hostility toward her, but we would only be guessing about the reasons for his conduct.
Maybe she's not doing it right.He's probably a crazy guy in bed,and she's probably more easy going.He's probably not getting the feeling that he wants.Tell her to ask him what he wants her to do to him, to make him satisfied..
 
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October 26, 2005, 11:58 am PDT

10/26 More Sex With Kim Cattrall!

Quote From: mistyc

With that attitude I feel sorry for your dear husband.    I agree that a threesome has no place what so ever in a marriage that is asking for trouble.  However...... my husband and Ihave been together for 3 years and married for a year and half.  We still have sex all the time and we are both in our mid thirties. I am still very attracted to my husband and as far as I'm concerned as long as it stays betweens the two of us "anything goes"!    I htink it is sad that married couples put sex on the back burner, staying connected is very important to a happy marriage and it is a top priority to me. 

 Hey, I never said I don't have sex with my husband.  We have three children, the youngest just turned 5 months, so OBVIOUSLY we're having sex.  My husband thinks threesomes are wrong too, and he is very happy with our sex life, and every other aspect of our lives, so don't worry about my husband.  You don't know me.
 
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October 26, 2005, 12:03 pm PDT

how about some balance?

Quote From: sunnywomen

Dear Mrs. Stud, 

  

                           There is nothing wrong with being a virgin the day you get married. I was 19 when my husband and I got married and he was 28, we were both virgins in which I'm very proud of because it was a special gift that we wanted to share with each other not any body else. 

                           If you have sex before you're married there will be feelings of regret that you didn't wait. No disrespect to your grandmother but you don't have to live with someone before you marry them, what's the sense? You'll get to know them by being around them that's how you'll know if your compatable.  

                          If your boyfriend or girlfriend can't except you or your values and if they aren't willing to wait to have sex unitl marriage then kick them to the curb. They are not worth a pot to spit in, don't waste your purity on someone who sees you as a trophy to brag to their friends about or a piece of meat. We women deserve respect and dignity and if a man can't handle that then as Dr.Phil says "Don't let the door hit you in the butt on the way out." 

How about not going to extremes one way or the other? I don't think there are any fixed rules that will guarantee success in terms of having sex before or after marriage. For those who think you should "try" someone like a car, I disagree. You fall in love with the entire person, physical, emotional, spiritual. If sex is a dealbreaker rather than something to improve together (if need be), then maybe it's because other aspects of the relationship are failing not just sex. And although morally I have nothing against living with someone, I certainly don't think it's a guarantee of success in marriage. I have a friend who lived with her boyfriend 5 years, less than a year after marriage, they are seriously considering divorce. On the other hand, I don't think one is less "pure" for having sex before marriage, sex is a completely natural act. Marriage is a commitment that goes above and beyond sex. It's when you decide to be together through thick and thin, through good sex and bad sex, be each other's joy, comfort and support. In the end your husband or wife is the one family you get to choose.
 
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October 26, 2005, 12:16 pm PDT

All the lies...

Hello all!  I am watching my TIVO'd Dr. Phil today.  And my problem is the lack of the big "O" during intercourse alone.  Now the problem really is that we were each other's first and married at a very young age.  I did not want to hurt his feelings and thought I was the failure for never getting "there."  So.... I faked it.... all the time.  And now almost 6 years later, he thinks he rocks my world, and I do realize he can make me orgasm with oral  or manual stimulation, but I do not have the heart to tell him that's what I need.  He thinks he's excellent and I love him and do not want to admit that the intercourse alone is not enough.  I have been lying for 6 YEARS!!  How do I express I need more without bursting his bubble or making him feel awful and angry that I have lied???  Please help! 

Deperately seeking a good sex life... 

 
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