Quote From: pommomThat would be the title of MY book, if I had written one...."No Sex in the Suburbs" - as opposed to "Sex in the City", of course.
I've been married for almost 9 years and my husband has ZERO sex drive. I've been in a sexless marriage for a VERY long time...like, 9 years long. In the "good" days, when we first got married, I think we had sex about once a month or once every 2 months. These days, it's about once a year. NO, I'm not kidding. The last time I actually counted months, we went 8 months without sex and the only reason we ended up having sex is because we had a big fight about it. That's how it always ends up. Long months, no sex, I get upset, confront him, we talk, which ends up in a fight and then a day or so later, he feels guilty (I guess) and "gives in". We have talks about the problem over and over and over and over and over. It's always the same (see above endless cycle). Nothing EVER changes and I end up feeling unwanted and lonely and confused. No, we don't have any kids (how could we, when we're not having sex?).
Anyway, I'm seriously sick of all the people who talk about how men want sex all the time, well what happened to mine? I'm tired of thinking that there's something wrong with me. Tired of wondering why he doesn't want me (he SAYS he does) - My response is always the same "Actions speak louder than words".
I've had two sexual partners my whole life and they are complete opposites experiences. With my first boyfriend, the sex was fantastic and we couldn't get enough of eachother. With my husband, even when we were dating, the sex was never anything to brag about and it has always been extremely frustrating for me. Now, I'm at a point where I'm seriously considering leaving. Although most everything else is good, our non-existent sex life has killed our marriage. I feel like I have a roommate - not a husband.
For the last few years, I have been especially upset because I really want to have children and I feel like he has robbed me from ever being able to have a baby. I'm so tired of being starved for affection, yet I do love my husband for his other good qualities. I don't know what to do. I know that sex isn't everything, but it's SOMETHING. I watch Dr. Phil every day and every time he has a show on about sex, he's got people on with kids that are having low sex drive. I can totally understand that, but I CAN'T understand someone like my husband who has no kids and still doesn't make time for sex. At this point, I'm angry and I feel like I've wasted the best years of my sexual life. His "excuse" is that he's too tired from work. (He's no CEO - he barely works 40 hours a week at his job!) If the couple on today's show that see eachother for a half an hour a day can make time, why can't he make time for me? He can't be THAT tired! I just DON'T GET IT! Is there ANYONE out there that knows what I'm talking about???
I do understand how you feel. My husband and have been together for 7 years two of which we have been married. Sex in the begining of our relationship was great it was new and exciting and we had fun and now we too are lucky to have it once a month. We have gone as long as 4 months so I do know where you are coming from. We are both in our late 20's and it just doesn't seem right that we are having sex so little. We have had so many numerous talks about it and it comes down to the fact that I am tired of initiating it and until you do I am not going to do it. I want to feel needed and actracted to him. He says that he is nervous to initiate because we have had so many problems with our sex life and he is afraid I will say no and it's too much of a let down for him. I have told him though I want to have sex I need to have sex so he knows I want to but he just won't initiate it. I just hate the fact that he can mastrubate when I am in the house but not come to me and attempt at having sex together. I am not sure what to tell you either but I wanted you to know that there is someone else out here who understands.
She played the part of sexy “Samantha Jones” in the hit TV series Sex and the City. Now Kim Cattrall has written her second book about female sexuality. She joins Dr. Phil to help couples with questions achieve sexual satisfaction. Wayne and Erin were virgins when they got married. Now, two years later, Erin still isn't achieving the big "O." Then, Tom wishes his wife, Kathy, would make some noise in the bedroom. She says she's just shy -- so why does she moan when she eats good food? Plus, he begs her to do it, but she thinks it's disgusting. Hear Dr. Phil's advice for an engaged couple facing oral sex issues. And, a married couple asks how to put the fire back in their sex life. This show is strictly adults only.
