Topic : 10/26 More Sex With Kim Cattrall!

Overall I enjoyed the show, but I was a little disappointed with one aspect of the way the show handled giving oral pleasure to one's boyfriend, spouse, etc.  It seemed that Ms. Cattrall, with her 

snappy reference to the Samantha line, "That is why they call it a job!," as well as the overall response of the audience, indicated that any woman who actually likes providing oral pleasure must be a little crazy, or at least a little abnormal. 

Maybe that is true, I don't know.  I don't feel particularly crazy, but I have often been seen as being some distance away from normal!  Anyway, just an informal mental survey of my friends indicates that perhaps more of us actually do enjoy giving our men our pleasure in that way than the show seemed to very indirectly indicate.  I know, however, a great many others whose attitudes seem to be more well reflected by the show. 

It does seem to me, too, from the various reports one sees peridocally on teen sexuality, that perhaps the younger generations of women in our country are developing a markedly different attitude  towards giving oral  pleasure.  It is clear, from seeing the reports, that apparantly younger women do engage in it more often than older; and, it seems likely, may actually get such an enjoyment out of it that they would not really want to call it a job. 

Perhaps one of the reasons that there are so many of us who are a little older who either find the activity disgusting or who find it at best tolerable is that we just have not been able to open ourselves up the fullest range of our sensuality, let alone our sexuality.  I know that has been a rather long process for me, as it seems to have been for others on the show. 

I guess the great thing is is that we can always start to open up more fully to it. 

Performance anxiety, as the show suggested, I think is part of what may hold some of us back. 

I have learned to establish fairly quickly, once a relationship has moved to the point where my giving oral pleasure is a possibility, that I am not interested in having any ejaculate in my mouth. 

That has zero appeal to me, although I do understand that some women actually enjoy that as well. 

I think the more one does any sexual activity and one begins building a wonderful backlog of positive memories to associate with it, as well as skill (since, however pleasurable, engaging in erotic activity is still something one may develop skills in) in doing it, becoming more effective in, 

providing one's self with more pleasure while at the same time giving greater  pleasure to one's man, one will naturally start liking it more and more. 

I only saw bits and pieces of the show and I was excited!  Who doesn't want to talk about sex?  Haha, well I enjoyed the parts of the show that I actually got to see.  I was interested in her books that she has brought out and I was wondering if anyone has read them and if you have how did you like or dislike them?  Thanks for any input that you may have! 

This was well versed and well said and I couldn't agree more.
I hope every woman or man that reads this understands it's not about the sex it's about what works for both of you. The more you do to find what works for you the more you will love having sex.
End of Story.

 

Thanks for sharing - and at leaste making me feel that I'm not alone. I'm 35 now. We dated for 5 years before we got married and I'm married now for 9 years, so all-in-all, we've been together for 14 years, since I was in my mid-twenties. So, I know how it is to be in my twenties and have this problem too. Now into my thirthies, I'm starting to really give up. I've become a "lump" on my couch, as I like to refer to myself. I used to like to go out, have fun, kick back, but I don't feel very happy or sexy or anything these days, so instead, I pretty much stay in and mope. 

I hope things change for you because you DONT want to be where I'm at in 10 years! In my situation, I thought things would get better, but they only keep getting WORSE because I feel like I'm married to someone who's only my friend. I'm just tired of trying, tired of crying over it - tired of being physically alone and emotionally alone and tired of having no intimacy and no connection the way other "normal" married people have.  

I'm jealous of my friends that have a healthy sex life, which, to me - is pathetic. Just the sound of that - "jealous of my friends who are having sex "- makes me feel so ashamed and pathetic. I don't get what is wrong here. We've had sex problems for so long that I know he is feeling bad about it, too, and my husband won't ever come to me for sex, either. We are in the same boat for sure...I think our "boat" is sinking, though...hope you swim! Save yourself! ... I'm already drowning.