Topic : 12/27 Extreme Parenting

You said it.  Ditto and then some.  I haven't seen the show yet - comes on in about an hour - but I have three sons:  15, 13, and 12.  I don't know if girls do this - but boys start talking about driving very early.  And we have made it perfectly clear that turning a certain age does not mean that we will turn over an (on average) 3200 pound car to propel through the neighborhood.   

My bil and his wife allowed their son to begin to drive even though he deceived them about his classes and grades, intercepted mail from teachers, and deleted messages on their answering machine.  They set up a carrot for him and even though he wasn't even close to reaching it, they allowed him to drive.  He then took the car when they were not at home - when he was not a licensed driver.  He was caught when the car broke down at school and he tried to 'fix' it and messed it up terribly?  What lesson did he learn?  The entire family had to go to school and he and his siblings had to push the car to their house (not a close drive or push).  In my opinion the siblings (who are very responsible) were punished for this son's crime. Did they take away driving privileges then?  Only for a little while.  Then he was back driving their autos because the one from grandpa was ruined and they were 'dependent' on him to get the other boys to school and church activities.  They then allowed him to purchase a pick-up truck.  My bil said that this was safer because it only had spaces for the driver and two passengers so his son would not be able to supersede the limits in Colorado - he wouldn't have enough room.  What my sons saw was a couple of parents caving in to their child.  And we have been adamant that they should not expect that from us.   

In the case of our nephew and this boy on television - how about telling these kids that they BROKE THE LAW .... and violated the publics' trust as well as their  parents' trust.  Repercussions are in order.  Take those keys and take them now.  A  teen who is making excuses for his excessive speeding (or driving unescorted when he is underage) is in no way ready to be behind the wheel.      They are driving a lethal weapon - because they have no healthy fear and respect for the privilege they have  been granted.   

When we lived in Colorado - a young teen was late for a band practice.  He attempted to pass two cars by driving BETWEEN them in their  lanes.  He killed a father.  He caused great harm to another.   

Personally I have followed teens before (safe distance) and then gone and rung the doorbell and reported what I've witnessed.  I've also called the cops when I've seen cars speeding through our neighborhood or being driven recklessly.  We can no longer expect that parents are going to act with the greater good in mind when it comes to their teens.  I'll take the tongue lashing that some will mete out that 'it's none of (my) business' etc., with the thought that at least they are hearing from someone that what they are doing is WRONG and could KILL someone. 

Again .. APPLAUSE!!! and a STANDING OVATION.  I do hope I live close to you. 

To the Father who microchipped his son's car: You're going to keep the microchip in.  Good for you.  Question: What is possessing you to let him continue to drive?!  If he had been stopped for speeding at the rate he was, surely the police would have yanked his license.  I have raised two children (now ages 20 & 26).  Both of them will tell you, even though the purchased their own cars, I would have parked them and taken the keys.   

Keeping the microchip in the car surely isn't going to save his life when he kills himself and probably others by thinking he's handled it before and can handle it again!  Hopefully his father will not have to undergo that kind of reality check. 

Julie, 

Please run away from that man.  Do not set your daughter up to accept abuse as love. You must protect her at all costs.  She is a full whole and complete being wellness is her birthright.  The toxic malignant behavior disguised as disciplne is a poisonous to her as crack.  She will grow up looking for a man who treats her poorly because "he loves her" .  Save and yourself.  I wish you luck.  Get a divorce and grow in greatness. 

Sir I have a news flash for you.  

First of all you have truly NO IDEA of what it's like to be a true leader in our military, for IF you did, you would know that the way your treating your own daughter would NOT be tolerated in today's military! Not even in basic would you be allowed to get within an inch of the trainee's faces and speak to them as you demonstrated for the Dr. Phil show.  

 IN ADDITION, if you we're my neighbor and I witnessed you treating your daughter the way you've described and have admitted to, I'de personally report you to your Commander and I would bet he or she would have alot to say regarding your treatment.  Perhaps you'de find YOURSELF standing facing the wall!  (And by the way, in comparing how you treat your daughter to how discipline is handed out in the military your giving this nations FINEST a very bad rap for which is insulting to each and every individual who is in a leadership position) 

You commented on how your an ex-marine and discipline is so vitally important....After seeing you on t.v., I'de have to say that you yourself have little discipline, otherwise you'de be in better shape! Shame on you for treating a member of your own family in the manner you do, and shame on you for drawing up a contract with her "offering" to give her the things she deserves and needs as a form of reward. I congratulate your wife having the common sense to take her and get away from you for YOU are in fact the poster boy for what a BULLY looks like, and your using a background with the military as an excuse for your bad behavior. Our service men and women in uniform DESERVE to be represented in a much better light than this......  

Your treatment of a beautiful, young, lady has set her up for a lifetime of self esteem issues.  

Your not a leader.....not in ANY sense of the word.  

I think that those teens need a reality check.  That's exactly what happened this past August to our football team.  Our star players were racing back to the school from a summer camp.  Four of our star players tried to pass their friends and went airborn going 100mph.  They hit a tree 10ft. in the air.  All of their football budies were at the scene to witness this.  Amazingly, all survived but now have disabilities that they will have to overcome.  These kids are "GOOD" kids.  They were leaders in our school and on our state qualifying football team.  I will never forget the IM's that were flying around the school kids that first week.  The friends of these boys at the scene will never forget the helplessness of thinking your buddies were dead.  After all, it was being done "all in fun". 

I would like you to give a copyof this to the drill seageant to hang on his refrigerator.  

CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE 

If a child lives with criticism, He learns to condemn. 

If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight. 

If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive. 

If a child lives with pity, he learns to feel sorry for himself. 

If a child lives with jealousy, he learns to feel guilty. 

If a child lives with encouragement, he learns to be confident. 

If a child lives with tolerance, he learnt to be patient. 

If a child lives with praise, he learns to be appreciative. 

If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love. 

If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself. 

If a child lives with recognition, he learns to have a goal. 

If a child lives with fairness, he learns wht justice is. 

If a child lives with honesty, he learns what the truth is. 

If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself.  

If a child lives wigh friendliness, he learns that the world is a wonderful place.