Topic : 12/27 Extreme Parenting

In answer to your question, I believe that it wouldn't matter if Robyn were a boy.  Nathan has two grown sons and I have an adult son, (he's twenty six).  He had the same approach with them and he has also been very critical of my son.   

I have to agree and disagree with you here....I agree that the child, at twelve (almost thirteen), SHOULD be doing her chores without having to be told a million times to do it. However, dirty dishes in her room (or anything like that) is no excuse to treat her in the way that he did. That was down right emotional abuse. Especially that he told her that she would grow up to be a whore.  

But you said that your children did their chores....."NOT BECAUSE [YOU WERE] A TOUGH 'BITCH' OF A MOM, BUT [YOU] EXPLAINED THAT IF EVERYONE HELPED WITH THE CHORES AROUND THE HOUSE, [YOU] HAD MORE TIME FOR GOOD TIMES" My point exactly. If the step dad would encourage his daughter in a much more loving and caring way, and explain to her the importance of cleanliness, he'd have the same results. If his step-daughter would do her chores, not because her dad yells at her if she doesn't, but because she knows her responsibilities, they'd be better off. 

Also, I don't think that just because you are making the money in the household, doesn't give you the right to treat you family the way he was. That right comes with your responsibility as a parent. When you are a loving parent, and you show it, you'll get that respect voluntarily from your kids. Doesn't mean you don't discipline--don't get me wrong. In fact, I think that's what shows you love for them more. 

Also, I'd like to say that I think her mother has most of the fault here--her daughter should have already been doing all those things. She should have been more strict with her daughter. Do I think the girl was a "spoiled brat"? Yes--in a way. She ran to her mother whenever she didn't get her way, and her mother would intervene.  

I thought the whole contract thing was the stupidest thing I've ever seen! I don't know what therapist recommended that! Parenthood shouldn't be a contract between you and your kids. 

Obviously, the boy does not want to be in that sport anymore. He fusses whenever he has to go. He wrote "my mom makes me take cheer" on his school paper. He tells his dad he does not want to do it anymore. I'm not saying his mom is a bad mom, but what other evidence does she need that tells her that her son does not want to do that anymore? She's not letting him "move on to other interests". She's forcing him to do something he really doesn't to do. 

I absolutely agree! Why would the mom want to get him a scholarship with cheerleading? They said that they spend $5,000-$8,000 on cheerleading a year. Why don't they put that towards his college fund? 

In my opinion, the scholarship has nothing to do with it. It's just any excuse to make him do something she wants him to do. 

Why are people comming down so hard on the "Cheerleading Mom?" 

Sexism. 

Simple as that.  There is nothing to indicate that she ever wanted to become, or was ever denied the opportunity to become a cheerleader.  There is nothing to indicate that she is re-living her life through her children. 

That's how I figure the # of posts with sexism vs forced involvement re: the Cheerleading mom. 

He probably would have a better chance at a scholarship in Cheer vs the more traditional "guy" sports but spending 5k to 8k a year to gain a scholarship worth aprx. 3k is more than a little silly plus the fact the kid doesn't want to do it anymore. 

He does need to finish the season, its a team sport and he's already made the commitment to his teammates. End of season is the time to re-evaluate his participation. 

To the sports parents some interesting #'s from MAHA: 

  "Why Kids QUIT Playing. S.T.A.R. IT'S ALL ABOUT KIDS   

Over 30 million kids age four to 14 are involved in organized sports in the United States.  Many of these kids are involved in low-pressure programs that don't discriminate by skill level, with the sole emphasis on fun.  However, according to research by the Institute for the Study of Youth Sports of Michigan State University, and others, more and more kids are actually dropping out of organized sports.  The figure is staggering - 70% by the time they are 13 years old.  Some of the reasons given: 

OVERZEALOUS COACHES 

DEMANDING PARENTS 

TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO WIN 

EMBARRASSMENT OVER THEIR PARENTS BEHAVIOR 

It's obviously not "just a game" anymore to all these kids who are giving up on what should be one of the greatest parts of their young lives. 

Kids are kids... they will make mistakes.  Even more importantly, the fun for them should be in playing, not winning.  We may have forgotten that most kids just want to have a good time, improve their game, and make new friends.  It's time for change." 

http://www.maha.org/STAR/brochure.htm 

USA Hockey now requires all parents of players in the youth leagues to view the tape of the S.T.A.R. (Shared Tolerance, Appreciation & Respect) program and sign a behavioral contract before their kids can get on the ice for their first practice. 

While the S.T.A.R. program was developed to deal with the problems in youth hockey, it can be easily adapted to other sports & kids activities. Many of the guidelines and requirements are good common sense for any parent and/or player to follow so all participants can enjoy their particular sport.