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Topic : 06/30 Addicts Transformed

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Created on : Thursday, October 20, 2005, 03:02:09 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/28/05) Being a mom is hard enough, but imagine juggling soccer, PTA meetings, homework and carpools all while trying to cover up a secret life of drug addiction. Dr. Phil follows up with some moms who say they were junkies. Joani, a mother of two, couldn't get through a half hour without shooting up -- and she was a nurse in a drug rehabilitation center! It's been six months -- how is she now? Then, Stephanie was addicted to Vicodin and took 60 times the recommended dosage every day. She's been clean for four months, but now has a new problem. Plus, a viewer inspired by Stephanie checks herself into rehab. Join the discussion.

 

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October 28, 2005, 8:41 am CDT

10/28 Addicts Transformed

Quote From: loser111

Hi im mary i'm a 36 year old, married mother of three kids.I live in PA and am a bad situation.I need to know if anyone can give me insite to help me see this all through.My husband has currently lost kis job for probibly the 5th time in the past 6 years or so.Tired of struggling I decided to go out and work.To ease my own mind.I got a job waitressing.It's so hard but I go everyday knowing I need to for my family. 

  

My husbnad has no motivation.We are livivng in a home that the furnace is busted and we are all so cold.There is no money but what i'm brining in.Today my sons guidence consuler called and said my son has been begging kids for money and she even saw him on the lunch room floor looking for change. 

  

I was so embarrassed to find out he is having a hard time.It's his 5th new school in his life because we keep moving around and we always end up the same way.With him losing his job and me feeling hopeless.On top of it, he lies all the time.The last time he lost his job I found out by accident that we were living off our tax return which I was told was 29 bucks when in reality it was 5000. 

  

He just dressed up everyday and went to the library.Emailing me from there like he was at work.I feel like i'm going nuts here.There are days I dont even want to get out of bed.He is so angry all the time the kids cant even breathe and he is jumping down their throat.I tell him they are kids you scare them.We can talk to them now.They are older and stuff.I feel mostly like i'm talking to myself.I have no friends anymore no one to talk to.It's hard to keep hanging on sometimes. 

  

I feel so overwhelmed things are pllling on top of me and I cant get any air you know?If anyone has any advice I'd sure love some I go in tonight at 11 pm and i'll be checking to see if anyone at all can relate.. 

loser 

Hi Mary, 

I know it has got to be tough......have you tried social services to see if there are any programs that might help your family?  I am not talking about "going on welfare" but there are alot of programs to help you, even temporarily,  from free school lunches to help with your heat bill. I don't know about your state, but maybe you could make some calls and just find out- it is worth a try! 

Good luck to you! 

 
October 28, 2005, 8:41 am CDT

Florida Detox saved my life!

Hello to all,


I am a guest on this show and thought I would share things that I was not able to share on the show . . .


I just wanted to let everyone here know how wonderful Florida Detox is . . . Dr. Sponaugle and his team of medical professionals saved my life.  To anyone that is suffering with a substance addiction . . . please know that there is help available.  I was taking anywhere from 15 - 25 vicodin per day when I watched this show.  Seeing Stephanie on that stage admitting to her disease and hearing Dr. Phil talk about Florida Detox as a resource - that was all I needed - well, that and tons of prayers!!  I finally admitted to myself that I was addicted and I couldn't end it myself . . . I needed help.  The first person I admitted this to was Barbara at Florida Detox - Thank God an understanding, caring person was on the other end of the phone because I just broke down.  I was at the end of my rope - barely hanging by a thread.  Barbara's sage advice was inspiring and before I knew it . . . I was signed up to fly from southern California to Tampa, Florida, the home of Florida Detox, to fulfill the best decision that I had ever made.  Of course, I didn't know that until I got there - I was as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs!


My journey has been a long one, but no different than thousands and thousands of others out there suffering from chronic pain due to an injury or disease.  So many of us start taking pain medication for legitimate reasons and continue for legitimate reasons, but as I soon found out during Dr. Sponaugle’s lecture at Florida Detox, pain medication loses its effectiveness after 6 months of daily use . . .  then begins the escalation from simply numbing the pain a bit to help one function to needing the medication to just get through the day.  The need begins so innocently, like a calming whisper to take more medication so that you can do more for your family and friends and quickly turns into the angriest drill sergeant scream demanding for MORE, MORE, MORE . . .HOW MANY DO I HAVE LEFT?  HOW MANY CAN I TAKE?  BUT, DOC, MY TOLERANCE HAS GOTTEN SO HIGH THAT THIS DOESN’T DO ANYTHING FOR ME.  WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN’T GET ANYTHING STRONGER?  THIS CRAP DOESN’T WORK ANYMORE!  WHERE CAN I GET MORE?  WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT I CAN’T GET MY REFILL EARLY?  WHERE THE HELL IS THE UPS TRUCK – I WANT MY PACKAGE OF MEDS!  That’s when you know the disease has taken over . . . every minute of every day is spent thinking about the pain medication, getting pain medication, or taking pain medication.  All other activities are simply distractions from your full time job as an addict.  Nothing is fun anymore – there is no buzz anymore – you just have to take the meds so that you feel normal and don’t go into withdrawals that could kill you.  Welcome to hell.


By the way, I’m a 34 year old mother of two beautiful children and wife to a phenomenal husband.  We have a great marriage and a Normal Rockwell-esk life.  We live in San Diego, California.  We are both well educated with Masters Degrees and have been amazingly successful in our careers.  I was once a First Grade Teacher and later became a Business and Life Coach, but chose to stay home with my children while they were young.  We’re normal people and there was nothing in my life for which I was seeking an escape.  I was as happy as I could be excluding the chronic pain which required medical attention.


I wanted to add that bit for two reasons . . . one, because so many parents of addicts take the burden on as if they had done something wrong or that they could have prevented this from happening.  That is not true.  It is a disease and it will manifest in any human that is capable of making one wrong choice.  It is that easy . . . secondly, for all the other men and women out there like me that are suffering from the disease and continue to keep it a secret because they believe that they have become horrible people because of their choices.  Please, I beg you, please, both parents and adults, please understand that this is a disease and can be treated.  If you or your loved one had MS or cancer – you would get medical help – GET MEDICAL HELP FOR THIS DISEASE!  Florida Detox is where I went and I believe they are saving lives everyday.  Upon arrival there, both the one suffering from addiction and their loved ones will be educated about the disease and treated with the utmost respect.


Thankfully, everyone at Florida Detox understands the nervousness and fear - so much so that they send a driver to pick their patients up at the airport so the last leg of the trip is calm.  Prior to the procedure Dr. Sponaugle provides a profound lecture that has forever changed the lives of thousands.  Dr. Sponaugle’s goal is to empower the addict and their loved ones to conquer this disease through education and proper treatment.  Dr. Sponaugle teaches so much about how the brain works and how, through a chemical process, people with specific, but common chemical imbalances, learn how to self medicate to feel normal.  For example, I am from a family that has some history of mental illness (like most of us, I bet) and via genetics and some environmental issues, my brain did not produce enough of its own dopamine.  Therefore, I was dopamine deficient which made me hypersensitive to pain and stimuli in my life - a little ADD.  I was also dealing with a chronic pain issue that required pain medication.  During the lecture, I learned that decreased dopamine levels can heighten the awareness of pain and could be contributing to my perception of the intensity of the chronic pain.  That certainly was a new perspective.  I learned entirely too much to go into detail here, but I'll be happy to share anything if anyone wants to contact me.  I'll provide my email address at the end.  I also had a great consultation with the psychologist I will be working with over the next 6 months.


Following the lecture and consultation with their psychologist, Florida Detox provides a wonderfully, calming massage by Andreas - an amazing masseuse!  The next day was the BIG day.  I had continued taking my pain medication – as many as I needed so as not to suffer any withdrawals and this would be the last day of taking the drug that had become everything to me.  In a sick sort of way, it was like feeling the loss of a dying friend – almost like staying alive or getting well is a betrayal to that friend.  Well, I had to choose life . . . for my husband, for my children and for me.  I had not known life without this drug in several years.  I was scared, but comforted by my husband whom had since been educated about the disease that had invaded our lives.  He showed more understanding and compassion than I had ever expected.  His support and unconditional love provided the strength I no longer had.  Before I knew it, I was being admitted into the hospital and placed in the care of a wonderful ICU nurse, Karen, and she prepped me for the procedure.  Once prepped, the anesthesiologist took over and I was able to rest under a light general anesthesia for hours.  It's the best sleep I've ever had!  To my surprise, I woke up feeling GREAT!  The procedure cleaned out my receptors and prevented my body from going into an adrenaline rush of withdrawal.  I simply rested as my body and brain were detoxified from the abuse.  Patty and Gary took great care of me during the procedure.


There are days following the procedure that can be a little rough - no denying that.  The medical team advises that they can only eliminate 90% of the withdrawal and the following 10% is not a cake walk.  But, I will admit that I would have never done it without the help of Dr. Sponaugle, my husband, Barbara, Dennis, Tom and everyone at Florida Detox.  I just didn't have it in me.  Fortunately, the Florida Detox team knows how valuable every human being is and provides the inspiration to keep on moving forward.  It’s only been a month since my procedure and I'm doing fantastic!  I'm getting back into life . . . I'm dealing with my chronic pain the right way and am no longer a prisoner to the pain, the drill sergeant or the pills.


And, for my recovery, I'll be meeting with a fantastic psychologist regularly over the next 6 months to deal with what Dr. Sponaugle calls "soul pain".  This, of course, is a huge part of recovery.  I'm also encouraged to call Dennis or Barb if there is ever a problem or concern.  Further, I've been attending regular meetings with SMART Recovery online for support.  I'm excited about my future now and I'm eager to help anyone that needs any support going through this!


God Bless Florida Detox and the Dr. Phil Show!

 
October 28, 2005, 8:41 am CDT

My storey

People who are here to be judgmental and give your negative opinions GO AWAY ... you can't imagine how these ladies lives are, everyone deals with their issues in their own way. Right or wrong.  

  

Yes they need help...but they have to want to help themselves first..... 

  

When I left my 10yr marriage, my life went to hell. Long story. I always smoked joint at the end of my day to relax and hopefully sleep well at night. But when everything fell apart in my life and I didn't know if I would be able to get through the next day, everyone around me was 'skiing the rails' ... I never thought about snorting coke, or taking pills, just my weed, it was all I need ..... to relax. Cocaine does wonders to help a person.  

  

Cocaine has made a huge come back from the 70's. That's what I was seeing. Growing up lots of people smoked weed. That's all! Yah some did Acid, mostly we would gather at the end of your day drink some beers and smoke  a joint! As I got older more and more of those friends started snortin Cocaine. I hated it. I told people not to do in front of me. I never touched it.     When all the changes in life started 'scaring' me, I honestly didn't know how to get through the day. Stressed out, emotional breakdowns, my mind was thinking all the time. Thoughts wouldn't stop. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't function. People around me were telling me what to do. Choices, decisions...what in the world was I going to do. I think I cracked, but somehow I had to act like I was somewhat 'normal' ...sane. How would I do that. If I smoked weed during the day, I would''t be able to be efficient, productive ( I was a manger), people would see my red eyes. I noticed people who were high from cocaine. Man they were alert, and stress free, they were happy! This girl a met...she asked me if I wanted some while we were working one day, (i quit my management job b/c it was too much for me to handle, when I should have just taken a leave of absence and got help) nooooo I got a new job while my mind was out of wack, unstable and met this girl. She was having a blast living life....I thought I'm alone now, no responsibilities, nothing. No one but me now! At this time I started taking these relaxing pills after work. At work, she asked me if I wanted a bump....what was that, a little snort of cocaine! At first I didn't think it was affecting me. I was still mentally unbalanced but my thoughts didn't bother me. That was it, everyday like 6 times a day, just a little 'bump' . just through the day, when I was with her. Night times, I hooked up with a guy....we connected spiritually, emotionally, in every way!  

  

Growing up he went to raves and partied hard he was working hard and having a little fun on the weekends. He had had is addiction to lots of drugs....but now he was getting away from all that. I moved in with him. He was my crutch. I wasn't responsible. I wasn't being consistent in my kids life's (they lived with their father, hours away from me).... He told me everyday to call my kids, he told me I had to get them back. That I wouldn't survive if I didn't fight for them.  That was the problem. I didn't know what to do .... I didn't have me kids. Long storey there. 

  

So while trying to figure out how i the world I was going to get my kids back with all the hard details to iron out. He was by my side. While I was at work during the day...I was bumpin coke. If my boyfriend ever found out he lose it. So I hid it. WOW I was doing much better. Working on getting my kids, which took 1.5 years and feeling now worries with a wonderful guy at my side supporting me how ever he could. Now I was looking forwarding to getting high while I was working. 

  

I dunno what made me stop, honestly. Life was great just as it was. One day I just quit that job. I just went into work and quit.   

  

I haven't done cocaine since. No pills, nothing! I don't even smoke weed anymore. Maybe I had a dream ... bizarre really.  

  

A little over a year ago I was granted sole custody of my 3 kids and got married to that wonderful guy and we have a baby girl!  Life is wonderful.  

  

Like I said I don't know what happened to me, and today sometimes...everyday I thank back to how I wasn't stable and realize how grateful I am for all that I have and that my kids are with me.  

  

My mind goes nuts on me every was and awhile....my kids help me to focus and keep it together. 

  

Addiction just grabs hold tightly and becomes the bestest friend.  You can't judge people,  when you haven't lived in that person's shoes.  

Fear is a weakness, be a true friend. 

 
October 28, 2005, 8:48 am CDT

re: extended victims of addiction

Quote From: dede7007

 This is a difficult subject, but one that needs to be exposed, and talked about. I also think that a show needs to be added to this one about what this addiction does to the people who need the pain killers and can't get them because of being accused of being a "junkie". 

   This happened to me. I was rear ended in a car crash, and suffered unbearable back and neck injuries. It took eleven years to get a diagnosis of what I had, and then I received several corrective surgeries. But during the eleven years, while experiencing excruciating low back pain, leg numbness, neck and back spasms, migrains, and numbness and weakness in my right arm, I could not get anything for pain relief without being given the third degree by doctors. Many nights I ended up in the ER, to try to get the pain relieved. I would be given a prescription for Motrin. It's been 27 years now, and I haven't know one day without pain. But, I do thank God that I finally found a specialist in pain and it's being managed much better now. But the years of suffering was almost too much to bear.  

   I don't understand how these people GET the pain killers, and all the drugs that they get. It just baffles me. Do they really understand HOW many people they really affect? 

Dede7007 

I agree with Dede7007.  There are many people who are suffering from pain that do not get the medications that they need and deserve.  Doctors are hesitant to prescribe many medications because of their potential for abuse - regardless of the patient's need.   

  

I know because it happened to me.  In February 2002 I was involved in a car accident.  Another driver ran a Stop sign and t-boned the truck I was driving.  My truck spun almost 180 degrees and landed on the driver's side.  I was banged up but managed to walk away from the accident counting my blessings.  In the months and years that followed the pain in my left rib cage did not go away and actually became worse.  I was told to take Advil (ibuprofen) and rest.  I was subjected to various tests and scans and the was told that there was not a physiological reason for my pain.   

  

I was prescribed a mild pain reliever, and was told to check back in in 3 months.  The pain got worse.  I was finally referred to a Rehab Doctor who eventually upped the dosage on my medication and received trigger-point injections.  They helped a little, but the pain continued to get worse and began to spread.  To date it has spread to both of my arms, my neck, and my left leg.   

  

To make an already long story short; two and a half years after the accident I was diagnosed with RSD (CRPS) by Dr Charles Hodge at University Hospital in Syracuse.  I was then referred to a pain clinic.  Unfortunately by that time, I had lost my home and my business because of my inability to work full time because my pain was not under control.  

  

The point of the story is two-fold;  

  

     1).  The fact that my doctors were afraid to prescribe drugs that were powerful enough to control/manage my pain because of their fear of my possible addiction, and;. 

  

     2).  The misdiagnosis of a condition that may have been able to be cured if discovered in a timely manner. 

  

In any case,  I have to take some very powerful drugs to control my pain.  I am not an addict, and frankly I hate taking these drugs, and take them only when necessary.  The side effects are enough to make anyone stop taking them.  But without them, pain takes over every waking moment of my life rendering me useless and depressed.   

  

I applaud those who have beat their addiction, its got to be one of the hardest things to do, but let's remember their is another side and that everyone who takes these medications is not an addict.   

  

  

 
October 28, 2005, 9:02 am CDT

so sad

i feel the pain fo all these mothers and i understand at some level what drove them to start popping pills...but i can say it hurts really bad to see a mother in that position. My mother is addicted to sleeping pills and this past january she tried to kill herself. She dissapeared for three days. Her face was in the newspapers and tv. For me it was awfull to imagine what she was going trough or if she was alive. 3 days later somebody answered her cel phone. It was the guy in charge of a crappy motel where she went for 3 days and just od, (she stole money from my aunt). He called the ambulance. She was entered as XX patient. I was the first person to see her at the hospital. She was still alive but have had a stroke, a respiratory arrest and was having seisurez every 20  minutes. She somehow survived, after being in a comma for 3 times and spending 1 month and a half in the hospital and 3 months in a rehab center. It was very painful, very sad and i am still trying to understand why. Rationally there's lots of answers, but emotionally i just dont understand and i dont want this to screw me up...i am really scared. Now comes the staying clean part and i dont trust her doing that on the long term. As a daughter i am hurt, dissapointed and sad. I lost all the trust and respect for my mother, eventough i admire her survival. I lost respect for my father too, since somehow he was playing the game too...but i guess we all were to some extent. Sometimes i feel guilty and question myself. I know its a disease and like any other it can drive you to death...but this is a disease you chose to have and that is very selfish. 

This situation brough up so many issues that's unbeareable. We are or were the normal family, 3 kids, parents together and at some point we even had a dog. I dont know what happened and i dont know if asking my mother directly would help, because after all i've seen her do and all the lies she has told me, i dont trust anything she sais. 

Some advice? 

 
October 28, 2005, 9:21 am CDT

I am a mother who is a recovering addict

I am a mom of a 12-year-old and 9-year-old.  For the first seven years of my oldest's life, I was an addict.  The overwhelming responsibility and stressors of being the "perfect" Mom were difficult for me to grasp.  I slipped into post-partum depression immediately after the birth of my first born.  I carried that heaviness for seven years.  The only relief I felt that I could get were from drugs.  I was a prescription pill popper.  A lot of people don't regard prescriptoin drug abuse as drug abuse.  I beg to differ.  These pills ran my life.  My day to day job was to figure out which dr. or hospital was going to fill my needs.  As most addicts, I hit rock bottom.  Of coarse I did damage on my family and home life.  I would be a liar if I said I didn't.  With lots of counseling....stays in rehab (it took a few times to stick) and fortunately the support of my family, I am in recovery.  I have never felt better...looked better (I have lost 80 lbs. this past year)...lived better.  It has taken a lot of counseling to figure out why I abused my body and life.  It just doesn't "happen".  There was a lot of guilt to deal with too, for the damage that I caused my family.  I don't live in that anymore.  I keep my past as a memory of what I was and how far I have come.  My husband and kids are so happy with who I am...the real me.  It is amazing how I felt that I was fooling everyone around me...I thought the pills were making me the perfect Mom.  All that was needed was self acceptance and admitting that, "Hey, I need help!"  I want to thank Dr. Phil for shows such as this.  Mom's with addictions is a serious problem.  After I was in recovery for a couple of years, I started to notice the damage I had done to my body.  I was overweight and I hated to look in the mirror.  I wasn't depressed anymore...I wanted to look how I felt.  I started slowly walking around the block and then slowly cutting out the junk food.  I am now 80 lbs. lighter and I feel so good about myself.  I also went back to school and I will graduate from college in the Spring.  Thanks for the inspiration that you have given me a long my path to recovery.  When I started to loose weightThe series that Dr. Phil did on weight loss inspired me.  It got me motivated to get off of my butt!  The topics from Dr. Phil's shows have encouraged me on those rough days when I start to doubt myself.  I look forward to future shows!  Keep up the good work!
 
October 28, 2005, 9:22 am CDT

Sorry, didn't mean to offend you

Quote From: cookeeb4

 I am a recovering drug addict of 23 years. Just today while watching Dr. Phil I said to myself...I don't want to be a drug addict and then almost as I said it I realized, I have no choice to be or not to be.  The only choice I have, is to not use.  Being a drug addict is not a choice, I will always be. I just chose not to use.  Sincerily , Clean for 8 months

Hi, 

  

Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.  You are correct, no one chooses to be a drug addict.  People choose to use or not use.  My son makes the choice to continue to use drugs.  He has been in "the life" since he was 17, he is now 36.  From 17 to 36, he has had only 1 year clean and sober.  He has told me  that he wants to continue to use drugs.  He tells me that he does not want to try to make it in the "straight life".    My point was that I cannot change that, only he can.   

  

Drug addiction affects the entire family.  I find it difficult to be the mother of a addict.  As a mother I want the best for my son.  It's a maternal instinct to protect your child from harm.  When you can't protect them from their own destructive behavior, it's a horrible, helpless feeling.  You feel guilty that you can't help them... it's the worst feeling in life to see your child slowly kill himself with drugs.  What I was trying to tell the other mother is that she had no power over her son's addiction.  She thought she did not do enough to try to stop him.  I wanted to tell her that she did not cause the drug addiction nor could she "cure" it.  Her son decided to continue on his path.  Sorry I used the wrong choice of words. 

 
October 28, 2005, 9:23 am CDT

Please call Florida Detox

Quote From: pattonlady

  

I was addicted to Percocet, and at my worst my habit was 30 10mg tablets a day to function. I worked a full time job and had ordinary responsibilities and activities, and I believe I had most people fooled. I began taking them after a surgery, but my doctor refused to continue prescribing them, so I found the easiest way to obtain them was by forging prescriptions. I did this for almost a year before I was caught, and it was ugly. The withdrawal was horrible, but not as bad as being arrested. After all was said and done, as a first time offender I was given probation, fines, and community service. 

  

I entered a methadone program 4 months later because the cravings were so bad I could not focus on anything. I had forged a few more prescriptions, and realized I was back on that train again, and didn't want to go thru the whole thing over again. While I was on methadone I was ok, no cravings, but it was expensive, and a hassle to drive across town every morning to get my dose. So, I started voluntarily weaning myself off the methadone with help from the clinic and a wonderful counselor named Ed. Then I found out that I was being investigated again, and was arrested again, for the few scripts I had forged before going on the methadone program. 

  

It cost me a small fortune this time, but I managed to stay out of jail. I am on Intensive probation, have a curfew of 6 pm every day, and an officer comes to my door every night to make sure I am home. I see a probation officer once a week and am drug tested. I completely weaned off the methadone and am clean, but it is so hard to fight the mental cravings. It is demeaning to have to pee into a cup every week in front of a probation officer, and for my neighbors to see that state car in my driveway every night. It is humiliating to have to explain my record to a potential employer, in this day and age of technology you cannot hide felony convictions.  

  

I have tried going to meetings, they don't work for me. My body is clean from the narcotics, but I still want them. I get angry because I can't have them, and the "devil" on my shoulder tries to convince me to get something, anything, any way I can. My rational mind takes over and I know that if I violate my probation that no amount of money can keep me out of going to jail, my suspended sentence is over 7 years.  

  

I used to be a hard working professional woman I raised 4 drug free children who are all thru college and on their own, productive members of society. Here I am now, unemployed, sitting around thinking about how a few pills would make me feel better, at least temporarily. 

I know that physically I can make it just fine without drugs, but emotionally the cravings are getting the best of me and I feel like if the rest of my life is going to be like this, why hang around for it?  

Is anyone else going thru this, or has gone thru it? 

  

I was treated by Florida Detox - not only are they able to provide a detox - they also seek to find the underlying problem that causes cravings.  Usually it is due to the brain not producing enough dopamine, serotonin or glutomate.  A simple test they offer can answer this for you.  Once the reason is understood it can be treated with the right medication.  Dr. Sponaugle is fantastic and he and his medical team will work hard to make sure you no longer have to suffer and, believe it or not, you will enjoy life again!  I was in your shoes and now I'm doing much better - after only a month!! 

  

Good luck to you! 

Cara 

 
October 28, 2005, 9:30 am CDT

Get help for yourself

Quote From: imprenta

i feel the pain fo all these mothers and i understand at some level what drove them to start popping pills...but i can say it hurts really bad to see a mother in that position. My mother is addicted to sleeping pills and this past january she tried to kill herself. She dissapeared for three days. Her face was in the newspapers and tv. For me it was awfull to imagine what she was going trough or if she was alive. 3 days later somebody answered her cel phone. It was the guy in charge of a crappy motel where she went for 3 days and just od, (she stole money from my aunt). He called the ambulance. She was entered as XX patient. I was the first person to see her at the hospital. She was still alive but have had a stroke, a respiratory arrest and was having seisurez every 20  minutes. She somehow survived, after being in a comma for 3 times and spending 1 month and a half in the hospital and 3 months in a rehab center. It was very painful, very sad and i am still trying to understand why. Rationally there's lots of answers, but emotionally i just dont understand and i dont want this to screw me up...i am really scared. Now comes the staying clean part and i dont trust her doing that on the long term. As a daughter i am hurt, dissapointed and sad. I lost all the trust and respect for my mother, eventough i admire her survival. I lost respect for my father too, since somehow he was playing the game too...but i guess we all were to some extent. Sometimes i feel guilty and question myself. I know its a disease and like any other it can drive you to death...but this is a disease you chose to have and that is very selfish. 

This situation brough up so many issues that's unbeareable. We are or were the normal family, 3 kids, parents together and at some point we even had a dog. I dont know what happened and i dont know if asking my mother directly would help, because after all i've seen her do and all the lies she has told me, i dont trust anything she sais. 

Some advice? 

Hi, 

  

My son is a drug addict and I have felt all the pain and disappointment you describe.  This disease is not one that you choose to have, as someone pointed out to me, you only choose to use.   

  

You need to understand there is nothing you can do to change your mother.  That is a difficult challenge.  You need to get help for yourself.  You need help to cope with all these feelings and how to handle it all and bring peace in your life. 

  

I have found Alanon and Naranon very helpful.  I have also found one-on-one counseling extremely helpful.  I wish you the best. 

 
October 28, 2005, 9:32 am CDT

ADHD children

 I think it's wrong so many parents put their children on drugs for ADHD to  make life easier on themselves and teachers. What is this family thinking when they are now causing a drug addiction in their son. I find it appalling that this family has addiction problems and they are  now  starting their son on the same drug as the mom was addicted too. My son was diagnosed with ADHD years ago. I chose not  to give him medication.  He did require more parenting than my daughter. In the end, he graduated and now is in college, without drugs.
 
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