Quote From: flitrfliesPeople who are here to be judgmental and give your negative opinions GO AWAY ... you can't imagine how these ladies lives are, everyone deals with their issues in their own way. Right or wrong.
Yes they need help...but they have to want to help themselves first.....
When I left my 10yr marriage, my life went to hell. Long story. I always smoked joint at the end of my day to relax and hopefully sleep well at night. But when everything fell apart in my life and I didn't know if I would be able to get through the next day, everyone around me was 'skiing the rails' ... I never thought about snorting coke, or taking pills, just my weed, it was all I need ..... to relax. Cocaine does wonders to help a person.
Cocaine has made a huge come back from the 70's. That's what I was seeing. Growing up lots of people smoked weed. That's all! Yah some did Acid, mostly we would gather at the end of your day drink some beers and smoke a joint! As I got older more and more of those friends started snortin Cocaine. I hated it. I told people not to do in front of me. I never touched it. When all the changes in life started 'scaring' me, I honestly didn't know how to get through the day. Stressed out, emotional breakdowns, my mind was thinking all the time. Thoughts wouldn't stop. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't function. People around me were telling me what to do. Choices, decisions...what in the world was I going to do. I think I cracked, but somehow I had to act like I was somewhat 'normal' ...sane. How would I do that. If I smoked weed during the day, I would''t be able to be efficient, productive ( I was a manger), people would see my red eyes. I noticed people who were high from cocaine. Man they were alert, and stress free, they were happy! This girl a met...she asked me if I wanted some while we were working one day, (i quit my management job b/c it was too much for me to handle, when I should have just taken a leave of absence and got help) nooooo I got a new job while my mind was out of wack, unstable and met this girl. She was having a blast living life....I thought I'm alone now, no responsibilities, nothing. No one but me now! At this time I started taking these relaxing pills after work. At work, she asked me if I wanted a bump....what was that, a little snort of cocaine! At first I didn't think it was affecting me. I was still mentally unbalanced but my thoughts didn't bother me. That was it, everyday like 6 times a day, just a little 'bump' . just through the day, when I was with her. Night times, I hooked up with a guy....we connected spiritually, emotionally, in every way!
Growing up he went to raves and partied hard he was working hard and having a little fun on the weekends. He had had is addiction to lots of drugs....but now he was getting away from all that. I moved in with him. He was my crutch. I wasn't responsible. I wasn't being consistent in my kids life's (they lived with their father, hours away from me).... He told me everyday to call my kids, he told me I had to get them back. That I wouldn't survive if I didn't fight for them. That was the problem. I didn't know what to do .... I didn't have me kids. Long storey there.
So while trying to figure out how i the world I was going to get my kids back with all the hard details to iron out. He was by my side. While I was at work during the day...I was bumpin coke. If my boyfriend ever found out he lose it. So I hid it. WOW I was doing much better. Working on getting my kids, which took 1.5 years and feeling now worries with a wonderful guy at my side supporting me how ever he could. Now I was looking forwarding to getting high while I was working.
I dunno what made me stop, honestly. Life was great just as it was. One day I just quit that job. I just went into work and quit.
I haven't done cocaine since. No pills, nothing! I don't even smoke weed anymore. Maybe I had a dream ... bizarre really.
A little over a year ago I was granted sole custody of my 3 kids and got married to that wonderful guy and we have a baby girl! Life is wonderful.
Like I said I don't know what happened to me, and today sometimes...everyday I thank back to how I wasn't stable and realize how grateful I am for all that I have and that my kids are with me.
My mind goes nuts on me every was and awhile....my kids help me to focus and keep it together.
Addiction just grabs hold tightly and becomes the bestest friend. You can't judge people, when you haven't lived in that person's shoes.
Fear is a weakness, be a true friend.
I hate it when people who don't know me, and have never experienced addiction, pass judgment on something they know nothing about. But we cannot change others...only ourselves.
"If you care too much about what other people think of you,
You will always be their prisoner."
---Lao Tzu
:)Siobahn
(Original Air Date: 10/28/05) Being a mom is hard enough, but imagine juggling soccer, PTA meetings, homework and carpools all while trying to cover up a secret life of drug addiction. Dr. Phil follows up with some moms who say they were junkies. Joani, a mother of two, couldn't get through a half hour without shooting up -- and she was a nurse in a drug rehabilitation center! It's been six months -- how is she now? Then, Stephanie was addicted to Vicodin and took 60 times the recommended dosage every day. She's been clean for four months, but now has a new problem. Plus, a viewer inspired by Stephanie checks herself into rehab. Join the discussion.
