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Topic : 10/31 "Spoiled and Entitled?"

Number of Replies: 209
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Created on : Friday, October 28, 2005, 02:09:21 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Are we raising a generation of ungrateful children? Sabrina and Jessica say they have the most spoiled nephews in North America. They get every toy they ask for -- all they have to do is whine. Their sister, Melissa, says her sons aren't spoiled, they're just kids who like toys. Are her sisters just jealous of her lifestyle? Next, Dori admits that her 13-year-old son, Parker, is spoiled. Parker says he won't take no for an answer, and even has a strategy for getting everything he wants. Then, Joan says her 14-year-old daughter, Jacquie, is a snob, and her need for trendy clothes is turning her into a materialistic monster. Can Dr. Phil help Jacquie change her ways? Plus, Lauren spends her entire paycheck shopping, but with no money in her checking account, she worries that she could be headed for trouble. Her mom, Diane, says she's not worried, it's just Lauren's way of relaxing. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

 

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October 31, 2005, 12:25 pm CST

Spoiled Brats

I am curious to see this show because I am a college student and all throughout my school years I was annoyed by those kinds of kids that got whatever they wanted.  I got my first job when I was 17, bought my own car without my parents help with the exception of co-signing but I did make every single payment on time without demanding they help me.  I am in my second year of college and I am learning to become independent.  I think parents should be there for their children, however, many kids are spoiled beyond the limit.  It just sickens me to hear, "My daddy bought me a Mercedes for my birthday!"  Why aren't kids getting at least a part-time job and learning some responsibilities?  It just makes me quite irritated!
 
October 31, 2005, 12:30 pm CST

serious consequences

I have seen first hand what the consequences will be if these parents continue to indulge their children.  My neice received everything her little heart desired when she was young.  She is now a 26 year old who is stuggling in every aspect of life.  She cant keep a job, has gained over 150 lbs, she has no idea how to keep her home clean or take care of basic things we all have to do like pay bills... ect.  She recently had a baby and her home is so awful she had to move in with her grandparents.  I sat many years during birthdays and christmas and watched this child open present after present and not so much as a thank you. She is now paying the utlimate price she is always depressed because all of the sudden she can't have anything she wants and it it literally destorying her... mentally and physically... Parents take note! Kids need structure and they have to learn that you must work for what you want and get... and that there are consequences to every action!  I pray for these kids they have a tough road ahead of them if the parents don't correct this now!
 
October 31, 2005, 12:36 pm CST

An Offer for Parker

Comet o Colorado for the 3 weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I willingly offer food, clothing and shelter for those 3 weeks.  

  

In exchange for the hospitality you will: 

  

Attend Hockey practices with my son, 6 days a week including the 5am practice on Saturday mornings, you'll have to be up and out of the house by 4am no matter how lousy the weather is. Fair warning: the team will not put up with an arrogant braggart, they will give you "bag skates" in order to teach you humility and team attitude. 

  

You will accompany my son to the Christmas Eve Giveaway location each weekend to help sort, clean, stack and arrange the many donations for the less fortunate. You will be expected to help distribute the gifts on Xmas Eve to the nearly 5000 people that show up each year. Hopefully you will learn what "need" really is. 

  

If you want money of your own I'll take you out to my sister's. She'll pay you $50 a week to come out and shovel horse manure for  her 3 horses. She'll give you another $25 for sweeping and hosing out the pig house. You want to continue piling manure on your mother, I think it's only fair that you shovel some yourself. 

 
October 31, 2005, 12:47 pm CST

glad to hear it

Quote From: wyldcelt

Comet o Colorado for the 3 weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I willingly offer food, clothing and shelter for those 3 weeks.  

  

In exchange for the hospitality you will: 

  

Attend Hockey practices with my son, 6 days a week including the 5am practice on Saturday mornings, you'll have to be up and out of the house by 4am no matter how lousy the weather is. Fair warning: the team will not put up with an arrogant braggart, they will give you "bag skates" in order to teach you humility and team attitude. 

  

You will accompany my son to the Christmas Eve Giveaway location each weekend to help sort, clean, stack and arrange the many donations for the less fortunate. You will be expected to help distribute the gifts on Xmas Eve to the nearly 5000 people that show up each year. Hopefully you will learn what "need" really is. 

  

If you want money of your own I'll take you out to my sister's. She'll pay you $50 a week to come out and shovel horse manure for  her 3 horses. She'll give you another $25 for sweeping and hosing out the pig house. You want to continue piling manure on your mother, I think it's only fair that you shovel some yourself. 

Wow, 

   the show has not played in my time zone yet, but I will be watching... your response for Parker would really teach any kid a lesson in the art of giving.  As a future Literature teacher, and after doing many hours of student teaching, I must say I do truly worry about the kids of Parker's generation.  Then again, I myself attend classes with many kids at college level who are brats just like him, so I guess age isn't the issue.  Tell your son to keep up the hard work, and it sounds like you run a tight ship.  I truly appreciate people such as yourself and your son who are so willing to give back to the community every chance they get! 

                                                      Lindsey 

 
October 31, 2005, 12:51 pm CST

10/31 "Spoiled and Entitled?"

Quote From: artemis21

Americans have the most personal debt than anyone else. 100 years ago, immigrants who made dirt poor wages and who came to this country with nothing more than the clothes on their back were able to die and leave their children something. Americans of the past would probably look on their great grandchildren's habits in disgust. Many first generation Americans are appauled and baffled at how Americans deal with their money. Both my parents were first generation Americans. I feel like spoiled kids are not really the problem. I feel like they are a symptom of a much bigger problem of our culture. And that is one of consumerism. 

  

Many families live in homes that are too big for them and they can not afford, but they still feel the need to pay these outrageus mortgages. Adult people max out their credit cards in order to "keep up with the Jones." Kids go to schools where if they do not wear designer clothes they are layed out as outcasts, no matter how charming or sweet they may be and where obnoxious children with the best clothes are considered "cool". American parents are overworked and generally don't get to spend enough time with their children so they just throw money at them. People don't teach their children any of the basics of personal financing. How should we really expect America's kids to turn out? 

  

The old saying goes, "the apple doesn't fall very far from the tree." People need to re-evaluate what is most important to them and get their priorities straightened out. I am not a parent yet and I just got into my twenties but it doesnt seem right to splurge all your money on toys or clothes for children or for yourself in this era of college costs and housing costs higher than they have ever been. I would hope that these parents would see the advantage to putting money away for tuition for their kids or for a downpayment on a house than the new Playstation 2 games or Louis Vuitton bags. 

  

I think you need to take a step back and see that each parent is the one who needs to help their child to be a better person.  Sure, society does have a little to do with how a person grows up, but if each parent stops focusing on materialistic goods, then each generation after that will go back to "a penny saved is a penny earned" mentality. 
 
October 31, 2005, 12:52 pm CST

to all the parents on Dr. Phil

I am VERY willing to be one of your kids....................heck you can buy me anything you want......oh and I am a Wal-Mart shopper so you don't have to worry about name brands. 

  

I would LOVE to be spoiled!!! 

 
October 31, 2005, 1:03 pm CST

I am so glad I tuned in today..

I am sitting here with mixed emotions right now.  I just watched the part of the show regarding Melissa and her two beautiful little boys.  I do not feel as though it is anyone's business, other than the parent's, to decide whether or not the children are spoiled.  It sounded as if Melissa's sister, Jessica, was jealous.  She stated that her children wonder why they can't have toys like their cousins.  Why should Melissa have to stop buying for her children?  Why should she have to change for her sister's sake?  I, myself, am a single mother of two beautiful children.  I have a daughter, who is three, and a little boy, who is one.  When I first had my daughter, things were very tough for me.  Her father up and left me all alone.  I had to skrimp and save for everything for her and myself.  There were times when I wouldn't eat, just to make sure that she was taken care of properly.  She had few toys, enough to keep her occupied, but nothing extravagant.  I worked very hard, and put in alot of overtime, to get my feet back on the ground.  I just got my head above water, and was in an absolutely wonderful relationship, when I got pregnant with my son.  My son's father, however, had a dark side.  A dark side, that he didn't reveal until I was pregnant.  There was no way, that I was going to let someone like that in my children's lives, so.....  Again, I was all alone.  This time with two babies.  Again, I worked and worked.  My children are three and one, and we are very comfortable.  I am not rich, but I am no longer struggling.  Everyone thinks that I spoil my children.  My family, friends, current boyfriend and his family.  Everyone makes comments all the time about how many toys my children have for being so young.  I don't feel as though they are spoiled, however, they have no wants for anything right now.  And when they do, if their behavior has been well, they get rewarded.  I want my children to have everything I didn't when I was growing up.  I see nothing wrong with that.  To an extent.  I do not intend to grant their every wish as they get older, however, they are only three and one.  I intend on instilling good values, and morals in my children.  Along with teaching them the value of a dollar, and of hard work.  I do say "no" to my three year old when she asks for something that is just not in the budget.  This past summer she wanted the new Barbie jeep, I just didn't see the need to spend $300.00 on something like that.  So, she got a big, fat "NO", for that request.  When she asked, "Why," I just told her the truth. 
"Mommy just doesn't have the money for that right now."  I really feel as though I don't spend outside of my means, I have never not paid a bill, to get my children toys.  But, if I have the money, and  I feel like getting them presents, I by all means, will do so.  I like to spend my money on educational toys, such as puzzles and books.  So what if my daughter is only three and has about twenty-five wooden puzzles, and about thirty of the cardboard kind.  That is alot of puzzles for one little girl, but do you know who is the one who sits there and does all the puzzles with her?  Me.  And so what if my son is only one and probably has about twenty-five toys of his own, laying around on the living room floor, do you know who sits there on the floor and plays with him? And helps him learn his shapes, and learn how to walk, with his three different kinds of push-along toys?  Me.  As much as I am spending on these children, I am also spending just as much time with them.  As I said earlier, in my mind, as long as I am not spending outside my means, I see nothing wrong with this.  My daughter does have a friend that comes over to play and everytime she leaves, she keeps asking her mom over and over , why she doesn't have as many toys as my daughter.  Well, then in turn my daughter's friend's mother calls me, and kind of whines to me about it.  I feel bad for her, having to answer her daughter's questions, but why is it my responsibility to stop buying for my children, because she can't?  There are alot of families out there, that cannot afford to spend how I do, and I feel bad for that.  I used to be one of those mothers that wished they could do more for their children.  And what I couldn't do then, I made up for, just in smaller ways.  I would go to the local dollar store and buy fun little projects to do with my daughter.  And it was cheap.  We used to go for walks all the time and to a local park.  I would save up all week to take her to McDonald's on Fridays.  And she knew that Friday was our special day that we got to eat out.  There are alot of things that you can do without having alot of money.  I don't know how much longer I will be comfortable enough to keep up with this lifestyle and if it comes to an end again.  Then, it does.  No amount of money or gifts, can take the place of quality time spent with your children.  Everyone should stop concentrating on who has what, who is spending too much, who can't afford to, etc.... Let's all just make our children our number one priority!!!  And if you can afford to spend, do it.  And, if you can't, don't.
 
October 31, 2005, 1:11 pm CST

Spoiled Children

When I was growing up, I am now 41, my dad worked at the post office and my mom stayed home.  We did not have a lot of extra money...so eating out was very rare.  We had game night on Friday nights and my grandparents would join us.  My grandfathers sisters were older and though they had money, we never knew they had much by the way they lived, would play Monopoly with my brother and I every Sunday afternoon after Sunday dinner.  My maternal grandparents were not rich, but I managed to always have more than most because of them.  When I turned 16 my parents bought me a $200.00 car and said if I wanted more than that, I would have to work for it, and I did and still do....I always appreciated my parents and grandparents sacrafices for good dental care and the extras we received as children...I never received what most children now get, new cars and tons of designer clothes, but my parents were always there and we all ate dinner together every night and what you remember most about your childhood won't be all the stuff you got, it will be about the time your family spent together.   

 
October 31, 2005, 1:13 pm CST

They all need a month in Niger or Afganistan

 So depressing to see people and their kids so concerned about 'things' - what a great opportunity for all of them if they went to some place where they could make a difference in someone else's life - two weeks in a place where people average less than $2 a day would be great for both the parents and the kids - give them something amazing to have their lives be about -
 
October 31, 2005, 1:20 pm CST

You Can't be that NIEVE

First off I was a only child for 5 years till my brother came along. During that first 5 years I was spoiled rotten had whatever I wanted. When it came time for Kindergarten when I went the teacher called my mom and said your daughter wont share my mom yes i am sure she doesnt she was the only child and grandchild in the family so she never had to share. That reputation followed me thru high school. I wish I hadn't been so spoiled. Maybe then I would have had friends growing up. When you kids dont smile or act shocked and surprised when they open a present thats a bad sign. Kids need not to always be given something. The amount of toys you have in your home Melissa is just wrong. For you to sit there and say there isn't anything wrong is just wrong. The kids probably dont even have a chance to want to want a new toy they see on T.V. cause they know you are gonna run right out and buy it. Why not try and give them a chance to want it and ask for it. As far as the Birthday thing goes buying a child a present when it isnt that childs birthday just so they dont feel the other child is getting something well thats just to bad. You are now going to find out if you stop what your doing it is only gonna get to the point well i want this and i want that. And I dont think you are ready for this challenge but I will say this YOU ASKED for IT.
 
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