Message Boards

Topic : 10/31 "Spoiled and Entitled?"

Number of Replies: 209
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, October 28, 2005, 02:09:21 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Are we raising a generation of ungrateful children? Sabrina and Jessica say they have the most spoiled nephews in North America. They get every toy they ask for -- all they have to do is whine. Their sister, Melissa, says her sons aren't spoiled, they're just kids who like toys. Are her sisters just jealous of her lifestyle? Next, Dori admits that her 13-year-old son, Parker, is spoiled. Parker says he won't take no for an answer, and even has a strategy for getting everything he wants. Then, Joan says her 14-year-old daughter, Jacquie, is a snob, and her need for trendy clothes is turning her into a materialistic monster. Can Dr. Phil help Jacquie change her ways? Plus, Lauren spends her entire paycheck shopping, but with no money in her checking account, she worries that she could be headed for trouble. Her mom, Diane, says she's not worried, it's just Lauren's way of relaxing. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

 

Find out what happened on the show.

 

More October 2005 Show Boards.


As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

October 31, 2005, 6:48 am CST

Can You Believe These Kids?

         Kids are not how they was when I was growing up. I mean I was thankful for everything that I got. I have raised my kids to thank the good Lord for that also. These children are to spoiled. I understand parents spoiling their children,but there is a stopping point. 

 
October 31, 2005, 6:49 am CST

A spoiled child all grown up!

 Hi Dr. Phil,
As I am watching the spoiled children show, I'am reminded of my own two children.  The 21 year old is my spoiled girl and hasn't grown out of it.  My ten year old son is not.  And boy you can sure tell the difference.  My daughter ( I love her with all my heart) is self absorbed.  Its all about her and her clothes, yes I spoiled her when she was little, gave her everything I didn't have growing up the 4th of 6 kids. She was did swimming, ballet,ski club all for a short amount of time and dropped out.  She joined the Army, that was a mistake.  The flip side  my son is very sweet ,  loving, so considerate of others, we have elder people on our street and with out being asked he is outside raking or mowing or shoveling the driveways, lawns and sidewalks.  He is doing excellent in school, and yes, Dr.Phil he is in Karate. He loves it, he has been doing it for 3 years not and is a Black belt, going for his 2nd dan in Jan. or Feb.  If you ever do a show on grown up spoiled kids.  Call me.
 
October 31, 2005, 7:09 am CST

Spolied neice

 I do know what it's like to look in from the outside. 

My 10 yr old neice, whom I love very much, is indeed spoiled.   My sister and her husband give her anything, I mean anything she wants.

She has every piece of musical equipment a person could need.(she doesnt even now how to play)
If you walk into one of her TWO bedrooms it like you are looking at a stage for a BAND.
These are high quality items too.

She has all the new and advance computer, games, and video equipment also.

Just the mear fact that she has TWO bedrooms is enought to make anyone believe she is SPOILED..

Anytime I say anything, its construde as me being jealous.  My daughter and I live in a small 1 bedroom apt.  We are sharing a bedroom, (although I always sleep on the couch)

I know my daughter will hold  values of things that are given to her.

She is appreciative of even the smallest things, and often looks at what her cousin gets as just things, because my neice show no appreciation of the things she gets.

I often wonder what will happen when the things she wants become even too expensive for her parents to buy.

Of course they say, " its only MONEY"
 
October 31, 2005, 7:42 am CST

spoiled kids?

who isn't spoiling there kids these days! Even in public people allow their kids to do whatever they want, even to other people and their belongings!
 
October 31, 2005, 7:48 am CST

Spoiled

This topic is going to be an interesting one..I can't wait to see the show..maybe Guiding LIght wont take over this time lol but first off to the post about the Sweet 16 show...I've seen parts of the show but I never really got to watch it and it's interesting that the parents  would want to have such a blow out party for their kids at that age..even if they do have a few extra dollars than the rest of us...I know it's a milestone but when you get to paying THOUSANDS of dollars for a couple hours with your friends I think that's where you have to draw the line.  I mean, I didn't even HAVE  a sweet 16 party..I would have rather go the mall and shop or something and probably would spend a lot less money lol. I didnt care about any of that when i was 16..but when you think about it...teenagers are VERY self-centered individuals regardless if they come from a rich family or not and everything is either their way or the highway..that's just part of growing up and everyone has went through that stage at one point or another..you just to have to get them to understand the value of a dollar and sometimes mom or dad may not have that extra 40 to spend on those designer jeans. 
 
October 31, 2005, 8:21 am CST

10/31 "Spoiled and Entitled?"

Quote From: jrbaker

Parents spoil their children every day by buying them the latest toy, gadget, or article of clothing.  It seems as though parents want to make sure their children are entertained every waking second of the day.  What has happened to talking with each other?  You see portable DVD players in cars now, or even worse, in the laps of young children being strolled around the mall.  Many parents seem like they don't enjoy their children's company, so they give them all this stuff in lieu of forming meaningful relationships.  This makes the children expect more and more material items, and they gain less and less social skills and appreciation.  This topic really gets to me, because the next generation is going to be so spoiled & have such inflated senses of entitlement that there will be no sense of achievement or gratitude.  When you get it all early, there is no way you can appreciate life.  I believe that working hard to accomplish goals and build a solid future generates good character.  If parents begin showering their children with so much from birth, they need to be prepared to pay for that standard of living until their children are 50 because the child will expect it & not be able to settle for anything less.  So many of my peers bought the huge house after getting married, along with brand new cars, and expensive wardrobes.  Underneath it all, their credit cards are maxed out & they are stressed and worried because they are living paycheck to paycheck, products of being spoiled as children by their parents.  When are parents going to realize that they can't buy their children's love & happiness?  There's nothing like snuggling up with my daughter to read her favorite book, or simply having a conversation about her day.  That's what family means to us!

Personally I think it's because a lot(not all) of parents are lazy and don't want to invest any time with their kids.  In their minds, it's probably easier to just buy them whatever they want or let them do whatever they want. 

 
October 31, 2005, 8:34 am CST

SPOILED

Quote From: leanne42

I have adopted 7 children thru cps.  The older 4 were 2, 3, 4 & 7 when we got them.  The first Christmas my husband and I (and the family) kind of went overboard and bought them practically everything.  We had not had the opportunity to shop for youngsters (my stepson was 17 at the time) and it was alot of fun.  Christmas morning the kids woke up and saw all of the presents under the tree and just stood there.  They didn't even know what to do.  This must have been their first real Christmas.  We told them to go open their gifts and they all went and opened the first one and started into their rooms to play.  They never realized all the gifts were for them.  I still look at the video with tears in my eyes (that was 6 years ago).  The 3 youngest children were very small when we got them so they've really never known what it was like to "go without".  I say all this to say the following.  It is so difficult to not buy them everything they want, but, in order to instill a value system in them my husband and I have to hold back.  We are financially capable of buying them anything but what will we be teaching them?  The kids still get excited over new socks, underwear, and hand-me-downs.  They are not greedy, they hardly ever ask for anything and that makes it even harder!   

  

All of these parents that answer to their childs' every whim are setting them up for a harsh reality.  Even those with the best of intentions are teaching them that they are in this world to be served, not to serve.  My parents had little to no money when my brother and I were growing up, but, we never went without the things we needed and it was always a great surprise to get the things we wanted.  We didn't expect them and that's what made it exciting. 

  

Even though we don't go hog wild anymore at Christmas, it's still great fun going shopping and watching their eyes get big on Christmas morning (by the 2nd Christmas they had it figured out!)  It's not how much they get, it's watching the expressions on their faces! 

  

  

DR PHIL I AM REAL GLAD YOU GOT THOSE KIDS ON YOUR SHOW WHEN YOU DID AND I PRAY YOU  WAS ABLE TO HELP THEM CAUSE I HAVE A 21 YR OLD NIECE THAT IS SO BAD SHE IS ASHAMED OF HER FAMIY AND EVEN TOLD ME IF SHE SEES ME IN THE STORE SOMEWHERE SHE HIDES AND WHEN MY DAD USE TO TAKE HER TO SCHOOL HE WOULD HAVE TO DROP HER OFF DOWN THE STREET SO SHE WOULDNT BE SEEN WITH HIM. MY SISTER WOULD ALWAYS BUY HER A CAR AND EVEN PAY THE INS. ON IT AND IT EVEN HAD TO BE THE COLOR SHE WANTED OR IT WOULD HAVE TO GO BACK. SHE WAS GREAT IN SCHOOL BUT HATEFUL AT HOME AND SHE WAS EVEN LIVING WITH MY MOM AND DAD AND MOM WORKED HER REAR OFF TRYING TO PLEASE MISSY BUT YOU COULDNT EVEN COOK TO PLEASE HER. NOW SHE IS 21 AND STILL HATEFUL IN HER ATTITUDE. SO NOW MY SISTER SAYS SHE IS 21 AND CANT TELL HER WHAT TO SAY OR DO NOW.. SHE SHOULD OF WHEN SHE WAS YOUNGER BUT SHE SSAID IT WAS EASIER TO GIVE HER WHAT SHE WANTED THEN TO PUT UP WITH HER FITS. NOW SHE THINKS SHE IS BETTER THAN WE ARE AND MY SISTER EVEN ACTS LIKE SHE IS BETTER JUST CAUSE WE DONT HAVE A RICH INCOME AND A FANCY HOUSE BUT I AM RICH IN ONE THING I AM A CHRISTIAN AND LOVE PEOPLE FOR WHAT AND WHO THEY ARE AND NOT WHAT THEY HAVE OR HOW THEY DRESS. PLEASE HELP THAT FAMILY KNOW AS THEY GET OLDER THINGS GET WORSE;L 

 
October 31, 2005, 8:53 am CST

Parents with issues

I hope Melissa will watch the show and realize she may have some problems with her own self esteem.  Everyone thinks their own children are adorable.  However, they do not go out and buy them every toy on the market.  She will soon find out that other people do not view spoiled children as cute.  If she and her husband have an "overabundance of money", then they need to help some low-income families.  This would give them a better perspective on their own lives and save their children from becoming "overindulged monsters"!
 
October 31, 2005, 9:09 am CST

spoiled and entitled

I think we are going to see this problem get a whole lot worse among future generations. Our oldest son is 14 and he thinks that when he turns 16 that we (mom and dad) are going to lease him a car. (surprise! he's got another thing coming!) Mom and Dad each drove cars that were  dependable but used and cost less than 3,000 then we upgraded slowely over time. He's going to be in a similar boat. 

  

If these parents continue down the same path of giving these kids whatever they want whenever they want it then the sad part is that they will end up with kids who are incapable of loving anyone other than themselves.  

 
October 31, 2005, 9:10 am CST

10/31 "Spoiled and Entitled?"

I would never hesitate to admit that our kids are indulged.  They are the unquestioned centre of our lives.

  

 

 

  

 

  •  They are allowed to be involved in up to three activities a year and they don't have to take anything twice if they don't want to.

      

  • Neither one has been in a church group, activity or team where my husband and I weren't involved and contributing to the program.
  • We always know their teachers and are both frequently in their school.
  • My husband and I spend 2 hours after supper most nights with them playing at some childish pursuit that they enjoy.

      

  • We give them allowances that increase with age (my 12 year old daughter is getting $50.00 per week this year). 

      

  • We also make them responsible to cover their personal expenses with their allowances so they learn how to plan, budget and save and they get real life experiences when they make mistakes.

      

  • We treat them to a story-telling day every birthday where they are the main character of all the stories.

      

  • We treat them each to some alone time with each of us every weekend.

      

We are more free than many people-no commutes or long work hours although we both work. We have used that freedom to give our children everything.

  

 

 

  

 

 

 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Next | Last