Topic : 10/31 "Spoiled and Entitled?"

 Will someone please tell me why every parent seems to feel guilty about their kids? "I have to give him things. When he asks, I just feel soooo guilty." And I swear, when these spaghetti-spined wimps say it, they all end the sentence on a whine that escalates upward. ... "I feel soooo guilty."
GET OVER THE GUILT.
The only thing your child is entitled to is your love, support and supplying of basic needs. The wants are something that should be handed out sparingly and then for good behavior.
If you're one of those parents who "feel soooo guilty (whine included)," maybe you ought to look within yourself instead of applying an external materialistic bandage to the problem.
I, for one, am sick of living in a world with spoiled, out-of-control, give-it-to-me-now kids. Ultimately, you're not the one who has to deal with the consequences of your actions now. That job goes to their fellow human beings and every time you shower guilt gifts on your kid, you're doing a disservice to other people's kids years in the future.
If you want something to feel guilty about, try feeling guilty about the defective product (your child)  you're pawning off on the rest of the world.

This was a really easy one to read without much studying.   Older, wealthy man latches on young, blond twinky trophy wife.  Older, wealthy man lavishes young blond twinky wife with everything young blond twinky wife could possibly yearn for.   Older, wealthy man in return enjoys the - shall we say - purchased  fringe benefits from  young, blond twinky wife as long as older man peonies out the guidas on demand.  Young, blond, twinky wife learns well.   You buy your love, your attention, and your loyalty with gifts - constant gifts - just no end of gifts.  It worked for me and it will work for you my young princes. Please, I want to puke.  I guess every family ends up with one daughter or one son that just seems to live on another planet and defy logic and common sense.
This woman and her husband have decided that the rest of the family can go straight to Hell if they don't like what they are doing with their children.  I say, let them, and leave them out of your lives as much as possible and let them go on their merry way to destruction.  Like my Dad always said, there is a bottom to every well and somewhere soon the spending will have to end because there is a bottom even to this man's well.  Sometimes, holes just open up unexpectedly and entire lakes just drain away during the night.  What fun it will be when this twinky and her two spoiled brats have to exist just like the rest of us common folk. 

I cannot wait till these little brats in training  grow up.  The damage has already been irrevocably done.  My only consolation is that this blond bimbo ends up with a teenaged blond haired brat wrapped around each leg screaming that his brother's BMW is newer than his.or that one month at the French Riviera is just too short of a vacation.    

If the mother of the ungrateful 13 yr old boy wants to ease her guilt, perhaps she should consider NOT working 60 hours a week and spending more time with her son. Perhaps what he wants is more time with his mom and then he wouldnt feel the need to have all the toys etc. to fill his time. 

Wow, these mom's are in total denial about spoiling their kids.  Melissa lies and covers it up  by constantly changing her story and lying about hiding toys.  I don't think she is going to change one bit because she refuses to acknowledge that she has a problem and that her kids are going to turn out just like the other materialistic, control freak kids on the show. 

I think Parker is going to have relationship problems as he gets older.  People hate to be with someone who likes to manipulate and control them. 

Jacquie sounds like a typical teenage girl to me.  She just wants to fit in with her friends in school, but she's got to learn to be an individual and that just because everyone is wearing it, doesn't mean she should too.  She should adopt the phrase, I'm not a trend follower, more like a trend setter. 

I think these moms live in the "here and now" and don't bother to look to the future and the potential problem they are creating.  I think Dori uses guilt as an escuse to spoil her som.  Spoiling a kid is just lazyness in my eyes.  Disciplining children takes too much enery I suppose. 

I thought the mom whose daughter is an out-of-control shopaholic was not, as her mom kept repeating, responsible OR level-headed. If she was, she wouldn't have been on Dr. Phil with this issue! Responsible young adults don't bounce checks (3! One right after the other!) and do know how to balance their checkbooks. They don't expect everything (but their play money) to be handed to them. Are you kidding me? And that mom (all the moms, actually) needs to look in the mirror and get real with herself. She (as they all have) taught her child how to act - she set this whole problem cycle in motion early on - did you see the picture of the girl when she was younger surrounded by shopping bags??? 

The saddest thing of all is that all these three women (and the dads, too, they shouldn't be let off scott free) will produce are more spoiled, self-centered, egotistical, unproductive, selfish, people that the world just doesn't need. What a waste of time and resources! 

PS - In my area (mid-atlantic region) I thought it was awfully amusing (and sad) that right in the middle of this spoiled and entitled show the network aired (repeatedly) an ad for yet another Fisher-Price must-have plastic toy for children! I'm betting the first family on the show (with the two little kids) have already bought one! 

My husband had nothing when I married him.  He is now a self made multimillionaire due to an incredible work ethic, brains and a bit of luck.  So we ARE able to give our kids everything they want.  But we DON'T and guess what?  I do not feel one iota of guilt because I know that by not giving in to all of their material desires, I am actually taking care of them better than the ridiculous moms on this show.  It is absolutely a disservice to your children to give give give.  They couldn't possibly appreciate the value of a dollar and the work that goes on behind that money if they do not work for some of the things they want.  When humans don't ever do without they become unable to appreciate what they have.  I am not saying that you should make your children go without food for a week so that they have compassion for the hungry or wear tattered clothes so that they empathize with the poor, but they should be taught how to control their buying impulses, how to plan and save for something special.  They will have a much greater sense of achievement the day they can point to their new x-box and tell their friends, "I bought this myself!"  They should be told NO from time to time so that they get the sense that the world does not turn on their wants and desires and that sometimes they will be disappointed in life but learn that they can and do get over those disappointments.  Our girls are expected to give some of their allowance at the end of the year to a charity of their choice.  They spend a lot of time researching this every year and it means so much more for them to do this themselves with their own money so that they get a feel for sacrificing some of their own funds for the greater good of their fellow man.  They are getting practice in the art  of giving at an early age.  It would mean very little to them to know that Mom and Dad donated funds to whatever in their name.  Big deal. 

What we never skimp on is spending time with our kids.  They benefit from that so much more than a TV, phone, or computer in their room (not happening in our home).  We are giving them a great education and we go on some great vacations.  We allow them to play club sports (expensive) because they get great lessons in teamwork and they learn how hard you have to work to be successful.  They learn about goal setting and how you truly only get back what you are willing to give.  They get so much more out of these experiences than any material thing could ever give them.  

Neither daughter has ever had a designer purse or shoes.  They wear uniforms to school and have a decent but modest after school wardrobe. But you will never meet two happier teens.  They never complain or whine or demand because they learned from the very beginning that this behavior does not yield results. 

So next time your kid wants the latest doodad say NO but do not say   "I can't afford it."  Tell them they don't need this item but perhaps they could save their allowance or work it off by doing odd jobs for you around the house or at work...AND DON'T FEEL GUILTY!!!!