Quote From: 1rosey1Brad shows some of the classic signs of Asperger Syndrome, which is a type of autism. Many people with Asperger syndrome, which is far more common in males, have excellent "technical" intelligence and math skills.
Some have truly remarkable abilities to concentrate and produce facts that "normal" people would find completely inexplicable.
In almost all cases such men have the almost complete inability to read body language and understand the emotions of others, particularly their spouses. Brad is such a person. He finds it almost unbearable to have any disorder in his life. Any variation from his own orderly processes is painful.
I saw this clearly in the show today. In some ways I'm surprised the Dr. Phil did not also make this diagnosis. More likely he did, but just didn't want to publicly come out with it.
As a physician, I consider it highly unlikely that Brad can or will change. Some Asperger people can "modify" their behaviors, but the inability to tolerate "confusion and disorder" is the least treatable factor.
Brad's wife probably had no idea about this, and should be informed. Many Asperger people earn an excellent living as an engineer and computer professional. But living with them can be unbearable.
This is a neurologic condition. Treating it with medications will usually help the OCD characteristics, but have the disadvantage of causing sedation that makes driving impossible. Other medications can produce digestive disturbances and various unwelcome side effects, including interrupting sexual function. This may not be a problem in this situation because chances are this couple is not having sex anyway.
I feel badly for both of these people. But Brad's wife needs to be fully informed. There are a number of excellent web sites on Asperger's syndrome. Brad's wife needs to look them up before she decides to stay with him.
Rosey1
Rosey1, I respectfully disagree with you that it is "highly unlikely that Brad can or will change. Some Asperger people can 'modify' their behaviors, but the inability to tolerate 'confusion and disorder' is the least treatable factor."
I know you're a doctor, and I know that you are now retired. I don't know if you're a retired doctor because you've reached those "golden years" or for other reasons. But there is new information every day concerning Asperger's. Also, high intelligence and exceptional verbal skills make it very likely that Brad can, and will, understand both his own behavior and the need for modification.
I was a chemistry major in college (weird for a special ed teacher-turned-lawyer) and knew plenty of engineering students. Yes, many of them are logical, analytical, and seemingly non-emotional. But the operative word here is "seemingly." Just because someone so dominantly displays pure logic and seems to be clueless about how their affect on others and rigid insistence on doing things the exact, precise way each and every time, does not necessarily mean that they do not care or lack emotion. Brad may well feel great sadness that his wife is unhappy. Social skills, cues, and body language can be taught just like reading comprehension skills can be taught. Clearly, Brad also needs to learn how his own body language is perceived by his wife and others. Brad's shrugs and frowns are powerful communicators and he may just need to be instructed on the emotional perception to this nonverbal communication. Brad may feel that he is only conveying that the bathroom sink is not clean enough but the message to his wife is that she's failed again, hasn't measured up, and she feels defeated. I believe that these skills can be taught and that people can learn to appropriately modify their behavior so that they can understand social cues and nonverbal communication.
Brad and Robin have been married a long time, they came on the show because they wanted help. I've seen too many divorces that were too hasty. The best thing I've ever done as a lawyer is get people to slow down and try counseling (not for abusive relationships - those are in entirely diffent class). My greatest achievements have been the reconciliations or the divorces where the parents have truly committed to civility and their children's well-being.
Other than that one part of your post, I appreciare (and respect) your information. Keep writing! You've got lots to offer us here.
(Original Airdate: 11/01/05) Do you know someone who is so exacting about the smallest of things that they are borderline obsessive? Dr. Phil speaks with guests whose perfectionistic ways are destroying their relationships. Beth does everything in her power to create a "Stepford-like" existence for her family. But her husband, Tony, says, "Don't be fooled, things are not what they appear to be!" Will her façade of perfection destroy her marriage? And what toll is it taking on their children? And, Robin is prepared to give her husband, Brad, the walking papers if he doesn't stop criticizing every move she makes. Plus, a self-described controlling viewer challenges Dr. Phil! Talk about the show here.
