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Topic : 08/25 Extreme Food Obsessions

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Created on : Friday, October 28, 2005, 02:17:57 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 11/03/05) What if you were so obsessed with eating that it almost killed you, or craving food so badly that you yelled, kicked and screamed when you couldn't get enough. Nichelle's 6-year-old daughter has Prader-Willi Syndrome and constantly wants to eat. She once threw a fit so loud, the neighbors called the police. Can Nichelle learn to control her own temper when her daughter has a tantrum? Then, Dr. Phil follows up with Kathy, an anorexic whose condition was so severe, she weighed only 68 pounds. She spent three months in treatment, but her struggle is not over yet. Can her family learn the difference between supporting her and enabling her? Talk about the show here.

 

Find out what happened on the show.

 

More August 2006 Show Boards.



 
stephie81
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November 3, 2005, 3:09 pm PST

I felt the same way

My son was born in June and had problems at birth.  He had pooped in the womb and sat and inhaled it for a month.  I knew something was wrong, but the doctors did nothing, til birth.  My son had the failure to thrive and had a feeding tube inserted.  He was lathrargic and low tone.  For four weeks he sat in hospital, with them doing nothing and sayng nothing.  I then had him transferred to a better hosptial, where I learned they thought he had Prader Willi Syndrome.  I was first told that he would have a speech impetament.  I myself had to find out what Prader Willi was, and was floored.  I myself am 24 and a young mother and everyday for a month, til I knew he didnt have it, I wondered if I could handle it and be able to deal with it.  I'm not saying it's right to hit a child or yell at them, espcially a developmentally delayed child, but I wondered watching the show if I would have been the same way.  I'm very happy to have finally see exactly what this disease is and what it can do, and i commend the parents that deal with this everyday.  I know it is hard and I now know what they go through.  Thank you for giving me the opportunity to finally see it first hand and I hope Nichelle learns to cope with it and help her daughter.
 
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jensmom62
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November 3, 2005, 3:19 pm PST

Denial

Quote From: missyp618

    Hi , my name is Melissa and I have known Nichelle for over nine years. We have been through so much together that when she told me she was going to appear on the show I supported her when others criticized and ostracized her . I was there when she met Savannah's dad. I was there when she went on her first date. I was there when she foud out she was pregnant. She was in my wedding and helped me in the worst of times. Nichelle , the person you saw on Dr. Phil today knows she needs help. The Nichelle I know has an extremely hard time admitting it and I applauded her for getting the help (which let me inform you she is). 

    I have almost 5 children . One has autism with developemental delay and Verbal delay due to the hospital he was being born at screwing up in the labor process. I know what she deals with. Her and I handle things differently of course all people do, but, noone on this board has lived with her for a time, known her for as long as me and has seen the things she does exceptionally well.i lived with her and Savannah for a time about 4 years ago.Nichelle was doing it on her own and doing well.What you saw is the worst of it. Noone saw how she freaked when Savannah fell and hit her head and I had to go get to to rush to the ER. (She was with her Grandma when it happened before you think ill and she tripped.) Nichelle freaked all the way to the hospital, almost passed out when she had to see her daughter get stitched up and cried and cried that she should have been there. Though she was working at the time and couldn't have been. 

    You haven't seen the Nichelle who holds her daughters head high by telling her how beautiful she is. She tells her her smile is the best and encourages her in many ways, brags about how well Savannah does in school and rarely ever  freaks out. I agree she takes it to a point sometimes, but how can anyone judge when she is going for help and is in fear of losing her daughter now that family members who have never been there, have turned their backs. Can you imagine being in her shoes?  

  My developementally delayed son is my bright light. He has taught my whole family things we didn't know were possible, he is such a gift that when I think of it I cry. I almost lost him at birth and know how hard it is to know you can't change things, only try to help. Do I get frustarted? Yes. DO I get sad? yes. Do I cry ? yes. Would I take him back ? Never , never , never !  

    Be proud of Nichelle for somethings. She never has had government help.Her and I have this in common. SHe doesn't blame anyone for what happened to her Savannah but tries to help her. Even if she has a few issues, we all do. The people who love her and love her girls will stand by her and try to help her. We will do what we can for her. I know what you saw looked so bad but remember you didn't see the Nichelle some of us know so well.....  

If she tells Savanah that she is beautiful why didn't she make that known on the show. She admitted that she was in denial about her daughter's situation. I understand that you are defending her and it's nice to know she has support she can count on. However, I still believe she was verbally abusive and out right mean to her. I was 24 when my daughter was born (with down syndrome) and yes it's hard and it's even harder when you are younger, thats why she needs to take advantage of the help the Dr. Phil is offering.  

 

And as far as government help is concerned, she should see what is available. There is nothing wrong with taking help from the government it is out there. And yes me and my husband both work, but as a  citizen of this country, Savanah is entitled to government help just like the people who come into this country. 

 

I hope Nichele gets help and realizes that her child is a gift, and was given to her for a reason. She may not realize it now, but she will become a better person in the long run. 

 

Jensmom.....(proud of my girl) 
 
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llazzaro
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November 3, 2005, 3:19 pm PST

Tearful Watcher

Hi,  I'm a mother of two toddlers ages 2 and 3.  Our oldest child, Noah, has Down Syndrome.  It broke my heart to watch this show.  Although I do not have experience with this particular disorder, I do have experience with disabilities in children.  My heart goes out to this very precious child.  I can only imagine the agony of having constant hunger day in and day out.  I was absolutely appauled to witness this mother's interaction with her child.  I know there are frustrations in dealing with children who have special needs but I also know there are many resources and support groups that are there to help.  I pray this mother will seek this help and support as well as show this little girl love even thru the agony of her tantrums.  My husband and I have always felt that the home is where children learn to love themselves, it's a place to build a strong self-esteem, and a time in life where they can be protected from the evil that exists out in the world.  Where does this little girl have to go?  Where will she learn to love herself?  Where will her self-esteem be positively built?   I hope that Social Services can get involved in protecting this helpless child.  We absolutely would open our doors and our hearts to this little one.  Thanks for allowing me to give my two cents.
 
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idealw8
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November 3, 2005, 3:24 pm PST

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Initially I was upset when I saw that one show was covering Prader-Willi and Anorexia, and then lumping them under the concept of "food obsession."  I thought of our society's practice of warehousing those with serious mental illnesses and "mental retardation."  But then I remembered that the "food relationship" isn't the problem here, but merely a symptom. 

  

  

"Living with Prader-Willi Syndrome"  This segment was a real shocker.  I am so used to people, whose child has such a serious diagnosis, being whisked into a world of support groups and treatment.  I feel so bad that this mother was let down, with no understanding or coping skills. 

  

  

"Dying to Be Thin"  I wish we got more details about her physical and psychological rehabilitation. 
 
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chirodoc2b

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November 3, 2005, 3:25 pm PST

Hang on, Michelle!!!

Michelle, 

  

You really need to hang on!!!  Use the help Dr. Phil gives you and be honest with the help you get.  I know.  I am a caregiver to my husband.  We were married 6 months when he started strange behavior.  It took 3 years to diagnose Multiple Sclerosis and 18 months after diagnosis he was in a wheelchair and diapers with the mind of a child.  My life changed so fast, but I held on.  Basically, I have been a single parent.  He is now bedridden and I have to take care of his every need, even turning him over every 2 hours to avoid bed sores.  Sweetie, it doesn't always get better and there are times I really do get in my car, close the doors, scream and cry...even after 18 years...but, there are other people out there, like me, who really care about you.  No, every decision we make isn't the best one, but you will get the help now to help you cope.  Even though other people have a child with this illness, every situation is different, their personality is different than yours, their childhood and life experiences are not the same as yours.  Do not even try to compare yourself to others, just learn to do the best YOU can.  Take a deep breath, pray, take care of you.  You do deserve that.  You cannot take care of your daughter if you do not take care of you, first.  Even on an airplane they tell you to put the oxygen over your own face before you put it over your child's face, because you cannot help her if you are not okay.  Believe it or not you will be okay.  You are stronger than you think.  Take the help, people really want to help you.  It may not be your family or friends but they will be new friends.  There are angels on this planet who want to help if you search for them. 

Look for a different way for your life to be.  We do not all get the perfect family with the perfect children and the white picket fence but we can learn to smell the roses along the path we are walking.  If you need a friend ( aochiropractic@juno.com ) I went back to school at age 40 to be something else.  Not what I saw for my life but a new life I can be proud to live. 

Hang on, Michelle!!!  It doesn't always get better, but it can get different and you will be fine and so will your daughter and one day you can help someone else... 

Love, Dr. Debra 
 
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n2history
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November 3, 2005, 3:28 pm PST

Parenting Issues

I think it is important to also take into account the parenting experienced by this child's mother when she was growing up. Normally we parent as we were parented. I frequently find myself saying things my mother said to me that I thought were hurtful at the time. I have to be constantly vigilant so I don't continue the verbal abuse legacy with my children (including one with challenging special needs). 

  

While it seems horrible and inconceivable that this mother is verbally and physically abusive, I have to wonder if that was how she was treated as a child? Yes it's wrong, and it is extremely difficult to understand by people who grew up with wonderful supportive parents. But those who did not, have had no basis for comparison of how to raise their own children. I speak from experience and have read books and taken parenting classes so I can break that cycle in my family.  

  

What this mother needs is our understanding and support, not righteous finger pointing. I am proud of her for seeking help. How bad would you think her if she had hidden her issues and ended up losing her temper so badly she killed her child? I for one am glad she is seeking help and applaud her taking this huge step. 
 
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tsateresa
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November 3, 2005, 3:28 pm PST

i dont agree with the mothers behavior

i grew up an over wieght child.. my father called me fat he told me i was ugly for being fat. i was also picked on by my brother and cousins. they didnt really bother me, but my fahter saying those things to me did. The line " i only say it to help her" is WRONG!!!! it dont help u out it pushes ur self esteem down lower. because of being treated that way by my family i have problems with my mairrage now. i also had lost alot of weight in my teen years and as soon as i felt guys wanted me i went on a binge of sleeping with anyone i could, just to make my self feel better. but i am alos a mother now of a 2yr old, and she is very bad.. she hits me she screams in public if i dont let he have her way.. the list goes on. so i know its hard to have a child that acts up, but if ur saying things of the nature this mother is.. u need to have ur daughter stay with a friend or family member for the weekend and enroll urself in anger managment calles... seriously..or ur gonna loose ur daughter, not only phycically but emionialy too. she will grow up and not forgive u for being so abusive. 

Teresa 
 
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November 3, 2005, 3:40 pm PST

Thank you for standing by Michelle

Quote From: missyp618

    Hi , my name is Melissa and I have known Nichelle for over nine years. We have been through so much together that when she told me she was going to appear on the show I supported her when others criticized and ostracized her . I was there when she met Savannah's dad. I was there when she went on her first date. I was there when she foud out she was pregnant. She was in my wedding and helped me in the worst of times. Nichelle , the person you saw on Dr. Phil today knows she needs help. The Nichelle I know has an extremely hard time admitting it and I applauded her for getting the help (which let me inform you she is). 

    I have almost 5 children . One has autism with developemental delay and Verbal delay due to the hospital he was being born at screwing up in the labor process. I know what she deals with. Her and I handle things differently of course all people do, but, noone on this board has lived with her for a time, known her for as long as me and has seen the things she does exceptionally well.i lived with her and Savannah for a time about 4 years ago.Nichelle was doing it on her own and doing well.What you saw is the worst of it. Noone saw how she freaked when Savannah fell and hit her head and I had to go get to to rush to the ER. (She was with her Grandma when it happened before you think ill and she tripped.) Nichelle freaked all the way to the hospital, almost passed out when she had to see her daughter get stitched up and cried and cried that she should have been there. Though she was working at the time and couldn't have been. 

    You haven't seen the Nichelle who holds her daughters head high by telling her how beautiful she is. She tells her her smile is the best and encourages her in many ways, brags about how well Savannah does in school and rarely ever  freaks out. I agree she takes it to a point sometimes, but how can anyone judge when she is going for help and is in fear of losing her daughter now that family members who have never been there, have turned their backs. Can you imagine being in her shoes?  

  My developementally delayed son is my bright light. He has taught my whole family things we didn't know were possible, he is such a gift that when I think of it I cry. I almost lost him at birth and know how hard it is to know you can't change things, only try to help. Do I get frustarted? Yes. DO I get sad? yes. Do I cry ? yes. Would I take him back ? Never , never , never !  

    Be proud of Nichelle for somethings. She never has had government help.Her and I have this in common. SHe doesn't blame anyone for what happened to her Savannah but tries to help her. Even if she has a few issues, we all do. The people who love her and love her girls will stand by her and try to help her. We will do what we can for her. I know what you saw looked so bad but remember you didn't see the Nichelle some of us know so well.....  

I am so glad you wrote what you wrote.  I saw in Michelle what you said about her.  Michelle is a great person who is struggling to make sense of a terrible situation.  She did the right thing seeking help from Dr. Phil.  He is in the position to help her and Savannah.  God Bless You, for what you are going through AND for allowing you to be a friend to Michelle.  Many people have opinions, some with loved ones with disabilities but things are way different when you do this alone.  I know.  It is easy for someone with a husband who supports her, or others who help,  to criticize what they know nothing about.  I am never going to say I haven't lost it because I have.  I really try to have my tantrums away from my disabled husband.  It isn't his fault, but I am older than Michelle and was older when this occurred in my life.  Continue to be her friend and help her find help, even if it's just a night out with 2 or 3 sitters to help with Savannah.  She needs a break now and then so she doesn't break...she is strong but not able to get through this without friends!!! 

Love, Dr. Debra 
 
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bitburg
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November 3, 2005, 3:40 pm PST

11/03 Extreme Food Obsessions

Quote From: missyp618

    Hi , my name is Melissa and I have known Nichelle for over nine years. We have been through so much together that when she told me she was going to appear on the show I supported her when others criticized and ostracized her . I was there when she met Savannah's dad. I was there when she went on her first date. I was there when she foud out she was pregnant. She was in my wedding and helped me in the worst of times. Nichelle , the person you saw on Dr. Phil today knows she needs help. The Nichelle I know has an extremely hard time admitting it and I applauded her for getting the help (which let me inform you she is). 

    I have almost 5 children . One has autism with developemental delay and Verbal delay due to the hospital he was being born at screwing up in the labor process. I know what she deals with. Her and I handle things differently of course all people do, but, noone on this board has lived with her for a time, known her for as long as me and has seen the things she does exceptionally well.i lived with her and Savannah for a time about 4 years ago.Nichelle was doing it on her own and doing well.What you saw is the worst of it. Noone saw how she freaked when Savannah fell and hit her head and I had to go get to to rush to the ER. (She was with her Grandma when it happened before you think ill and she tripped.) Nichelle freaked all the way to the hospital, almost passed out when she had to see her daughter get stitched up and cried and cried that she should have been there. Though she was working at the time and couldn't have been. 

    You haven't seen the Nichelle who holds her daughters head high by telling her how beautiful she is. She tells her her smile is the best and encourages her in many ways, brags about how well Savannah does in school and rarely ever  freaks out. I agree she takes it to a point sometimes, but how can anyone judge when she is going for help and is in fear of losing her daughter now that family members who have never been there, have turned their backs. Can you imagine being in her shoes?  

  My developementally delayed son is my bright light. He has taught my whole family things we didn't know were possible, he is such a gift that when I think of it I cry. I almost lost him at birth and know how hard it is to know you can't change things, only try to help. Do I get frustarted? Yes. DO I get sad? yes. Do I cry ? yes. Would I take him back ? Never , never , never !  

    Be proud of Nichelle for somethings. She never has had government help.Her and I have this in common. SHe doesn't blame anyone for what happened to her Savannah but tries to help her. Even if she has a few issues, we all do. The people who love her and love her girls will stand by her and try to help her. We will do what we can for her. I know what you saw looked so bad but remember you didn't see the Nichelle some of us know so well.....  

Hi Melissa,  

   I am glad that you wrote about your friend Nichelle. I could so relate with her today when she said she was in denial. I was to in denial about my son who is Mentally Challenged and has CP. Some people do not understand that just because a child is 6 that does not mean their brain is at a six year old level. I have had many challenges with my son and he is now 17 the challenges are now rolling over into adult life. I am from Michigan originally and would like to keep in touch with Nichelle and you as well if you would like. Just as a support for Nichelle and her family. I just moved from Michigan about three weeks ago and know that their are lots of different support groups for her to look at besides Prader- Willi association. So she may want to get in touch with some of the other ones as well. The more supports she has in place the better off she will be. Also please encourage her to use every state or federal program their is out their for her daughter. Michigan also has a respite program as well. I would like to keep up with Nichelle and Savannah's progress. Thanks for being her supportive friend we all need them when we go through life regardless the situation. My email is Bitburgpils82@crossno.us Once again thanks for listening. Sandi 
 
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mskaren45
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November 3, 2005, 3:41 pm PST

needing help

sometimes it is hard to ask people for help, But  She needs help with Savannah, They have people just for that situation, she don't have to do it alone. because chances are, she will get overwhelmed with guilt  thinking about how she is treating her daughter. and thinking that she can help her get better. Let the people that has the education to help her and savannah. It's hard enough raising kids, i can't  imagine what she must be going through. I am sure after this show Help is on the way. Dr phil is a good man. and i am sure she will get all the help she needs.  What i know for sure is, as Oprah said when you know better, you do better....... oh and by the way(not to go in left field on you) Those Jeans that Mrs Dr. Phil had on was tight( meaning they look good) I  wonder where she got those jeans from.... 

  

kp 
 
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