Topic : 08/25 Extreme Food Obsessions

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Created on : Friday, October 28, 2005, 02:17:57 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 11/03/05) What if you were so obsessed with eating that it almost killed you, or craving food so badly that you yelled, kicked and screamed when you couldn't get enough. Nichelle's 6-year-old daughter has Prader-Willi Syndrome and constantly wants to eat. She once threw a fit so loud, the neighbors called the police. Can Nichelle learn to control her own temper when her daughter has a tantrum? Then, Dr. Phil follows up with Kathy, an anorexic whose condition was so severe, she weighed only 68 pounds. She spent three months in treatment, but her struggle is not over yet. Can her family learn the difference between supporting her and enabling her? Talk about the show here.

 

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November 3, 2005, 9:03 pm PST

PWS

I watched the show today and could really feel for those mothers.  I have a mental retarded daughter who is 37 years old and it certainly brought back alot of the feelings that I had to deal with in her early childhood.  The obsession with food has continued through today.  However she was never diagnosed with PWS.  I do feel anger and frustration at times over the ridicule she received in school and from playmates.  I kept her at home so much of the time when she was growing up to try and protect her from the ugly remarks.  The good thing about this is she is such a forgiving person and has a wonderful personality and I guess this has gotten her through alot of the hurt she has and is going through even today.  When my daughter was diagnosed with retardation my husband completely denied it and never admitted there was a problem until after she was an adult.  I carried this for so many years and it was only through my faith in God that I was able to get through it. When I tried to talk about my daughters problems I could tell that for most they did not feel comfortable talking about it.  I use to ask why me Lord and then it hit me, why not me with your help we will get through this and we have thus far and will continue.  I do hope these ladies will continue support groups. This was not availble to me when my child was diagnosed. 

  

lotte41 

  

  

 
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November 3, 2005, 9:14 pm PST

pws brother

Quote From: jesland

Pete,  I am the primary caregiver of my brother who has PWS and he has been very successful with sometimes being rewarded with food.  If I tell him that he can have a Subway Sandwich once a week if he has a good week then he is very motivated by that.  He does really well with delayed gratification and he also lives in his own apartment.  He has never been given a growth hormone and  he is only 4'10".  He weighs 140 lbs and his bi-monthly Dr.s appointments are always good.  I think that like anything else, different things work for different people.  Jon loves to get seconds of veggies just as much as anything else and he eats better than a lot of people that I know..I understand all of the struggles with PWS as much as any other family member does and I'd hate for people to rule out something as an option just because it wouldn't have worked for someone else... jesland

 

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

jesland, 

  

I agree with you.  Sometimes you can use food as a reward.  Jeremy would always has seconds at dinner.  The seconds he got were part of his calorie count for that meal.  He got the same amount just not all at once.  

  

 I also agree that seeking alternative treaments is an option.  We even tried some before he was diagnosed.  However,  I think that there are many proven methods on how to manage a child with Prader Willi (PWS).  Parents of a child with PWS should be getting their information from the National Prader WIlli Syndrome Association or the Local/State PWS associations and not from this message board. 

  

What is disagree with are Jaclyn's statments   "Reward your daughter by feeding her.  My professional advice is that she always have a cold bottle of water (so she feels full) or milk and a box of a dozen popsicles a day is not going to hurt her.  Tell her she can have unsalted homemade potatoe cubes but  ask her if she first will drink a full cup of kool-aid and then ask her if she wants another, before she can have the potatoes.  Something where you used healthy foods to reward her.  Plan ahead that you will have to feed her veggies and sandwich halves 12 times a day. " 

  

"she always have a cold bottle of water"  most people with PWS do not like plain water and won't drink it. 

  

"or milk and a box of a dozen popsicles a day is not going to hurt her"  popsicles are no more than frozen sugar water that are full of calories and even 0% fat milk is 90 calories per cup. 

"unsalted homemade potatoe cubes but  ask her if she first will drink a full cup of kool-aid "  I don't know how many calories are in the potatoe cubes but the kool-aid is more than likely sweetend with sugar adding to the daily calories count. It won't take long before 800-1200 calories are wasted in junk. A PWS diet is anywhere from 800 to 1400 calories per day. 

 

"Something where you used healthy foods to reward her.  Plan ahead that you will have to feed her veggies and sandwich halves 12 times a day. "  This is just foolish, even healthy foods that exceed daily calorie count  are bad.  It is better to start a PWS child out giving them rewards for their good behavior that are not food related.  We went to Jeremy's school every year and had all of his teachers agree to provide him with rewards that were not food related and we did the same at home.  It can be done and it will work. 

 

A PWS child must be on a strict calorie limited diet.  Any food the child has outside of their meal plan (breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner) must be offset at another meal for its calorie content.   

  

Even ZERO calorie foods are risky (they may contain up to 5 calories by FDA definition).  A PWS child that binge eats on anything including  zero calorie food can risk a serious medical emergency called "GI perforation"   that can lead to death, more information is available at: http://www.pwsausa.org/syndrome/acute_gastrointestinal_episodes.htm 

  

Get the acurate information from the professionals.  Go to the PWS web site: www.pwsausa.org  

  

Pete 

  

 
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November 3, 2005, 9:27 pm PST

quote

Quote From: address

 Call it whatever you want. Screaming at and slapping a child (FOR WHATEVER REASON) is abuse....pure and simple.

  

  

  I watched the show today and agree - you can call it whatever you want but the abuse the mother has put this child through is horrible - mom's behavior in this case is ABUSE 

 
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November 3, 2005, 9:39 pm PST

Hard on her?

Quote From: cleeee

I thought Dr. Phil was very hard on you.  It's all well and good that other families are able to tolerante and cope with a child with a disorder such as this.  The fact of the matter is not everyone is wired the same way.  There are people who simply cannot cope with certain situations.  That does not make you a bad person.  You are a good person for seeking help in dealing with your daughter's disorder. 

  

 I hope you are able to come to terms with your daughter's PWS. 

  

Hard on her?  She's lucky that Dr. Phil didn't call the authorities!  I know being a parent of a child with special needs is difficult.  I am the parent of 2 children, one with special needs.  I am also an elementary teacher.  I'm very sorry that Savannah isn't the perfect child you had hoped for but do not blame her!  She doesn't want to be like this either.  I pray that you have made a drastic change in your behavior towards your daughter.  Or I hope she has been placed with a family that will cherish the child that she is.  What you have been doing is so abusive.  I give you credit for asking for help although how sad to hear the words you called her.  Do you really think a child with mild mental disability can tell the difference between, "are you an idiot?" and "you are an idiot!"   

 

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November 3, 2005, 9:43 pm PST

right on

Quote From: reddila

I cannot believe a parent would go on national television and admit to calling her mentally challenged child "stupid, a f**ing idiot, and a moron"!     I am the mother of a beautiful 14 year old daughter with PWS.   And yes, Nichelle, I do know what it is like to be a single parent.    My children's father and I divorced when my oldest was 4, my middle one was 2, and my PWS baby was 6 months old.   He couldn't handle the stress of having a child who had a feeding tube, was on heart monitors, and needed constant care.  She wasn't perfect and required too much attention for him!   So I did it as a single parent for almost 5 years until I met my current husband.     I struggled to work full time, pay rent, pay baby-sitters, take her to all of her doctors, therapists, etc.  and also raise a 2 & 4 year old.    And I asked myself constantly "why did this happen to me?"    Well it didn't happen to me, it happened to my child!     As her parent, it is my responsibility to care for her, protect her, and help her in every way possible as we all struggle with this syndrome.    To encourage her to be the best she can be, to teach her to live with her disability while holding her head up high, and to be proud of the things she can do, and not focus on the things she can't do.    She is now in the 9th grade, has an aide in school, and splits her classes between learning support and mainstream.    Everyone in school adores her, students and teachers.   She has more friends than most "normal" kids her age.    Yes, she does have temper tantrums on occassion, but once you learn about PWS, you'll also learn how to deal with the many aspects of the syndrome.   My 19 year old daughter made a special trip home from college today just to watch the show with me.     She was horrified!    She wanted to reach through that TV screen and tear you apart for the awful things you were  saying about your daughter.    My  daughter's response to everything you were saying was "she obviously knows nothing about PWS"!    I couldn't agree more!!    We both sat and cried our eyes out during the whole segment.  You do need  help desperately.     You want people to commend you for having the "balls" to go on national TV and ask for help.    I can't believe you had the "balls" to present yourself  and talk about your child the way you did!     Don't give me the sob story of being young and a single mom.     You may have had your child at a young age, but at 24 years old now, you should be mature enough to know that hitting and name calling a child, handicapped or not, is so wrong!!      I have read most of the posts from today's show and I still don't know how I want to react to you.   Part of me feels sorry for you because you are walking around with blinders on, you don't want to know anything about PWS because  then you'll have to face the fact that your child is not perfect.    The other part of me wants to slap the crap out of you to make you listen, just like you're doing to your little girl.    She's 6 years old for God's sake!      You need to wake up and start learning everything you can about your child's disorder and then start being a responsible, loving, caring parent to your child.    The first and most important thing you need to know is a child with PWS CANNOT control their hunger.   You can't have food accessible to her and expect her not to eat it.    We have locks on the refrigerator, the basement door, and the utility cabinet.     We have changed the combination a zillion times because we get careless and leave the lock lay on the table while we're cooking , etc.    Even with us in the same room, she can grab something in the blink of an eye and we never know it.    The urge to eat is overwhelming to someone with PWS and your job is not to yell, scream, and beat your child into refusing food, but to keep her happy and healthy by using common sense and locking the food up!    So what if it's an inconvenience for you, the health and happiness of your child is what's important.   Please, please get help for yourself and start being a fighter for your child, not a fighter against her!
I agree 100 percent. Couldn't have said it better. Right on.
 
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November 3, 2005, 10:59 pm PST

Really?

Quote From: lillea

 Hey - everyone has challenges when dealing with other people, and the parent-child relationship is one of the most complex and personal dynamicsof all of them.  However, there is no surer way to be driven crazy by your children than chanting the mantra "Children drive their parents crazy - that's what they DO!".  This is the negative reinforcement of a bad cultural principle we have in this society - throw it in the trash and build coping skills instead.
  Do you have children? and if so do they have any special needs, diseases, or diorders?  It is easy for someone who hasn't dealt with severe issues or difficulty to judge and make it a simple "open-shut case".  I am by no means excusing this mothers behavior.  I do however understand the anger, frustration and GUILT, yes guilt wondering what you did so wrong for your child to have theses horrible life altering challenges to face.  It is not just that they "drive you crazy", it is that their, and your whole world is in CONSTANT roller coaster ride of emotions from you know where.
 
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November 3, 2005, 11:00 pm PST

pws

Quote From: grammy1

I am the Grandma of a beautiful 7 year old girl who was diagnosed with Prader-Will Syndrome when she was 22 months old.  I remember the overwhelming shock when we researched all of the symptoms of Prader-Willi Syndrome. Each described symptom seemed stranger and worse than the last. Then we looked at this child and said, "What can we do to help make her life better?" 

  

I was eager to see the Dr. Phil segment on Prader-Willi. ( Set the recorder and everything.) Of course, I expected the terrible hunger to be the main topic.  It is a remarkable symptom!  The idea that no matter what or how much my little grand daughter eats, she will always  be hungry  is so difficult to accept.  People with Prader-Willi sometimes describe it as "sharks biting me inside all the time". I know I don't like to be hungry...no one does. How would you like to feel like you were starving no matter how much you ate? 

  

But this is a genetic disorder caused by a deletion or damage to chromosome 15. Neither she nor her parents has any more control over this than they  would over the color of her eyes or skin. 

I have read some of the messages from well-meaning but misinformed people on this site. If you really want to understand what we know about PWS, just go to www.pwsusa.org . Or just Google Prader-Willi Syndrome. 

  

I was surprised that Dr. Phil and his staff chose a self admitted abusive mother like Nichelle to introduce the topic of Prader-Willi Syndrome on his show. But, I am a faithful viewer and I was grateful  for  any information about this genetic disorder to reach the public. 

  

As I watched the show, so many emotions rolled over me. I wanted to hug little Savanah. Then I wanted to shake Nichelle until her teeth rattled. Then I remembered her daughter was recently diagnosed and she could be in shock, anger and denial of the whole thing.  But, when my daughter found out about her daughter's diagnosis, she was in all these stages too and she only felt love and compassion and a strong desire to help and protect her daughter.  

  

NIchelle needs help with her parenting skills and a LOT of education about Prader-Willi Syndrome. I sincerely hope she takes advantage of any help she is offered for her sake, but mostly for her little girl's sake. 

  

One more thing...so many times only the terrible parts of Prader-Willi Syndrome are talked about. Let me add that  PWS kids are very loving and anxious to please.   We have filled my grand daughter's life with love and she returns it a thousand times over.  I am amazed all the time by her generous spirit, her silly sense of humor, the hugs she gives to all she meets and the eternal innocence of her soul. Prader-Willi Syndrome does not define who she is.  She's just a little girl who needs some extra help to get through life and anyone who helps her receives so much in return. 

Any kind of mentel disorder is hard to deal with at times when the care giver has not team work to help her/him out. With pws, it is very hard for one person to be the only caregiver, I do understand the womens frastration, and unwillingness to accept her child has pws. She seems to misunderstand that her child is unable to control her eating. The women sounded so cruel and unfeeling about her child. I think maybe she has come for help because she does know that it is wrong and abrusive for the way she is treating her daughter and she was very brave to step forward and ask for help. I do hope and pray that she will be able to accept the fact that her daughter has a mental disorder and is a very special child and very lovable and that she will need all her mothers tender love and care for the rest of her life. Dr Phil was so right when he told the mother that she was the only soft spot the child had to lean on. I do hope the mother will realize this and be able to do every thing in her power to protect her child from any kind of mental cruelity from people. people can be so cruel and if the parents can not love there own child who is different how can they expect other people to love them. and where will the child ever feel accepted and loved. It is so sad, I have worked with the mental challeged for 16 yrs. and all I can say is that each one that I have worked with is very very special and very loveable, and very unique in there own way.
 
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November 3, 2005, 11:08 pm PST

BULIMIA HAS TAKEN OVER MY LIFE!!

I am a 26 year old stay-at-home mom and full-time college student. I have suffered with bulimia since 1997...8 long years. I started in my senior year in high school b/c it was apparent that other girls at my school lunch table was doing something that was making them look so good. I am small framed and have always been 110 or less. I have no idea why I felt the need to be smaller. This behavior has continued throughout the past 8 years, but it has taken literally taken over me. I have attempted to stop whenever I got pregnant with my daughter, but during my pregnancy, my husband found out he has diabetes and my mother found out she had brain cancer. Purging was the only way I feel like I could deal with how terrified and devastated I was. I felt so guilty for having purging while I was pregnant, but with the weight gain and everything going on, I didn't know how to stop. Since then, I have had another baby, a son, my mom just recently lost her battle with cancer (in May), my uncle (mom's brother) committed suicide in June and I found out in Aug. that my husband had an affair. With all these events, I am totally overwhelmed. The bulimia is the only thing I have control over in my chaotic world. A lot of people don't even know I suffer with bulimia. I don't physically show the signs like the anorexic woman on the show. I totally understand how she feels though. Binging and purging is my way to cope. I recently wrote a letter to "BULIMIA" to tell it how it has ruined my life. It goes as follows: 

"Dear Bulimia, 

Why do you have such control over me? Why can't I just be normal and eat normally? I hate the feelings that come over me after I eat...I get completely overwhelmed! It's like I cannot control my own thoughts. You take over my mind, poisoning it, making me feel worthless, feel like my world will fall apart if I don't give in. Consciously and logically I know that what I am doing is so incredibly, insanely stupid!!!! How does my logical mind just shut down and you take total control. You won't give up until I give in and purge! After I purge, you give me a feeling of relief...a total release. Almost like a drug. I hate you bulimia and I wish you would stop controlling my life!!!" 

 

I just sat down after the show today and wrote that letter. I have hurt so much the past couple of years and I don't know how to deal with all my pain, loss of trust, and anger. It too has taken over me. I have forgotten who I used to be in this world... Who am I?  

 
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November 3, 2005, 11:17 pm PST

I understand!

Quote From: sashaa

I have been struggling with anorexia for more years than I would like to say. It makes me sad to say that I was jealous that Dr. Phil helped this girl get good help for her eating disorder. I am extremely low income and disabled so I don't have good insurance or much money so good treatment centers like Castlewood are out of my reach. My therapist wanted me to go into Castlewood but they don't take my insurance and I don't have any money or any way of getting any money so when I saw that he helped her to get the help I felt sad. I know this sounds terrible but I want help so badly but just can't afford it. I fear eventually I will die from this.

Girl, I know what you are going through.  Get help now.  I wish I had before getting in so deep (in bulimia) that I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I have struggled for 8 years to beat this on my own and it won't happen.  I have to also get help.  It's hard b/c it takes over your life.  Just remember, you aren't the only one.  I wish I could help you, but it is hard for me too financially go to therapy.  Seek counsel from someone though...someone you feel comfortable talking to.  Don't be embarrased b/c you are not crazy or anything.  I struggled with that too thinking that everyone would think I was weird or just crazy.  Be strond and don't let it control you.  Easier said than done, I know.  Just find someone you can be honest with and I will be praying for you! 

 
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November 3, 2005, 11:19 pm PST

11/03 Extreme Food Obsessions

Quote From: shelbymama

Hi everyone, 

  

Today on the show, a wonderful woman by the name of Jenni Schaefer appeared.  She has written a book that has saved the lives of hundreds.   

  

Jenni has suffered with the crippling effects of the diseases of bulimia and anorexia.  She wants all to know who suffer that THERE IS HOPE.  YOU CAN RECOVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  She is living proof.   

  

With all the resources out there on these diseases, it may seem overwhelming as to where to turn for help. 

  

May I suggest the one in which I guarantee will be different than all others:  Life Without Ed.  Ed is an acronym for Eating Disorder.  Again, Jenni is a walking example of what recovery is.  

  

We are very proud of Jenni and her accomplishments.  She has had to overcome some huge obstacles.  I don't know if you remember her smile from today's show, but it is one that warms my heart.  She has learned to smile against some pretty tough odds!   

  

You too can feel peace again.  Try the book and Jenni's amazing technique for the true road to recovery.  And I promise it is a remarkable technique that is EASY to do.  Easy to read also. 

  

God Bless, 

Destiny 

  

  

Thank you for your post.  I will definatley buy and read Jennie's book!
 

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