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Topic : 08/25 Extreme Food Obsessions

Number of Replies: 371
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Created on : Friday, October 28, 2005, 02:17:57 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 11/03/05) What if you were so obsessed with eating that it almost killed you, or craving food so badly that you yelled, kicked and screamed when you couldn't get enough. Nichelle's 6-year-old daughter has Prader-Willi Syndrome and constantly wants to eat. She once threw a fit so loud, the neighbors called the police. Can Nichelle learn to control her own temper when her daughter has a tantrum? Then, Dr. Phil follows up with Kathy, an anorexic whose condition was so severe, she weighed only 68 pounds. She spent three months in treatment, but her struggle is not over yet. Can her family learn the difference between supporting her and enabling her? Talk about the show here.

 

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November 2, 2005, 12:30 pm CST

Nichelle

Quote From: joyceopp

 Nichelle:

I am sorry if my words upset you.  You need to understand that just because you feel that your situation is "the way PWS IS" does not make it so.  Your situation is tough, no question, but the way you have chosen as the adult to deal with it is abusive and wrong.  All I am saying is that there are many, many PWS families out there that deal with the situation without abusing their child.  It is NOT easy for them either, single or not and many of them are. 

The only reason we are concerned is because your kids need you to be the grownup and handle the situations responsibly and our children with PWS do NOT need PWS to be portrayed by a family that is totally out of control when we spend every waking minute trying to handle our indidividual situations with maturity and control.

I am sorry, but you are NOT the right person to portray the "typical" PWS family at this time.  I do think that you can be and hopefully with Dr. PHil's help you to be an in control adult when dealing with your own situation.

As one PWS mom to another, I applaud you for getting help and wish you the BEST of LUCK with learning to control your temper and anger. 

Joyce
Well I just thought your words were a little judemental. and I dont abuse my kids. I HAVE apnked her with a belt YES, but its on rare occasions. Its mainly my "mouth" that is the issue. I yell alot. and I do say mean things. I dont mean them, they just come out because IM SOOO MAD. WHen savannah is doing something she isnt supposed to be I CALMLY tell her once or twice to stop. Then she just does it anyways and looks at me to see how far she can push me. After 4 or 5 times I get mad and yell. My kids have NEVER EVER had marks or bruises of any type, (maybe from playing) but not from me. And as far as I remember....Dr. Phil was looking for someone with PWS. Not a "typical" PWS family. Im not even sure what a "typical" PWS family is because we are all different. Wait until you see the other girl they are going to show footage of tomorrow. Thats not typical. I dont think. But that family does ALL they can to help her and she is still out of control. It is some pretty scary footage! Its sad to watch. I am going to a PHD therapist and getting the help that I went to the show for.
 
November 2, 2005, 12:35 pm CST

Prader Willi

I have a niece who was diagnosed with Prader Willi two years ago after undergoing several mis-diagnoses and years of no answers to her obvious infant problem (no muscle tone, no suck reflex, turned out hands/feet).   She is four years old and a magical and beautiful child. She has come so far with occupational, speech, and physical therapy however she is starting to become obsessed with food and eating.  It kills me to see her fall constantly and become limp if she gets tired.  The scary part is that we have no way of knowing what her future holds or how severe her Prader Willi will become.  My brother and sister-n-law are fortunate in that they recieved an early enough diagnosis to begin structuring eating time and rules about eating.  Yet only time will tell how well these early interventions work.   

  

I think it is important for people who share family with this disorder to come together and help eachother out.  If this child were my own I would feel extremely lost in how to handle the behaviors she will eventually exhibit.  I also wish there was more awareness of this disorder.  When I share what she has with people and explain that she could eat herself to death, literally, many people reply jokingly that they have that problem as well.  Or people will comment about how some overweight person they know must have Prader-Willi. I don't think our society  understands how severe this disorder is or that those with Prader-Willi can be loving, nurturing children.  

   

  

Marcy, Ohio 

 
November 2, 2005, 12:53 pm CST

Verbal abuse IS abuse!!!

Quote From: nichelle81

Well I just thought your words were a little judemental. and I dont abuse my kids. I HAVE apnked her with a belt YES, but its on rare occasions. Its mainly my "mouth" that is the issue. I yell alot. and I do say mean things. I dont mean them, they just come out because IM SOOO MAD. WHen savannah is doing something she isnt supposed to be I CALMLY tell her once or twice to stop. Then she just does it anyways and looks at me to see how far she can push me. After 4 or 5 times I get mad and yell. My kids have NEVER EVER had marks or bruises of any type, (maybe from playing) but not from me. And as far as I remember....Dr. Phil was looking for someone with PWS. Not a "typical" PWS family. Im not even sure what a "typical" PWS family is because we are all different. Wait until you see the other girl they are going to show footage of tomorrow. Thats not typical. I dont think. But that family does ALL they can to help her and she is still out of control. It is some pretty scary footage! Its sad to watch. I am going to a PHD therapist and getting the help that I went to the show for.
 Hello:

Verbal abuse does much, much more long-term damage to children than any other type of abuse, so please don't say that you don't abuse your kids and then say that you yell mean, nasty things at them.

Do you know that THEY believe it when you say that they are bad, ugly, stupid, they BELIEVE you and they believe you forever or until they get massive amounts of therapy.

I do understand how frustrating parenting a PWS child and parenting any children are and I have yelled occasionally, but I have NEVER called my children names or told them that they were stupid because I KNOW first-hand what that feels like.

Even the "average" kid will push your buttons some of them constantly, BUT again, YOU are the grownup, YOU need to handle it differently.

To answer your question, to me the "typical PWS family" and I have met many over the last two years are sweet, kind, loving and do whatever they can to help their child with PWS, they are NOT PERFECT and I am sure that they yell occassionally, but they would never call their children names or beat them with a belt.  The "typical PWS family" struggles with the same issues you do, but handle without abuse.

I DO feel for you, after all, we are in the same boat, I will pray for you and your family.  I hope that you understand that I am saying that your PWS story is not typical because you are not handling it the way that it needs to be handled.

Thanks for writing and the very best of luck to you and your family.

Sincerely,

Joyce
 
November 2, 2005, 3:21 pm CST

Anxious to see this episode

I'm anxious to see this episode tomorrow. I have been dealing with anorexia for many years. Everytime I think I've got it beat, I'm reminded that this may be something I'll have deal with everyday for the rest of my life. I'm worried about the damage already done to my body, and I'm too afraid to find out if I've done anything at all. It's a really tough thing to deal with, it's not easy at all.  

I don't think easting disorders are getting glamourized, and maybe that's because I know what it's like first hand. 

 

 

 

Lisa 

 
November 2, 2005, 5:12 pm CST

Kids with Disabilities

Quote From: nichelle81

Well I just thought your words were a little judemental. and I dont abuse my kids. I HAVE apnked her with a belt YES, but its on rare occasions. Its mainly my "mouth" that is the issue. I yell alot. and I do say mean things. I dont mean them, they just come out because IM SOOO MAD. WHen savannah is doing something she isnt supposed to be I CALMLY tell her once or twice to stop. Then she just does it anyways and looks at me to see how far she can push me. After 4 or 5 times I get mad and yell. My kids have NEVER EVER had marks or bruises of any type, (maybe from playing) but not from me. And as far as I remember....Dr. Phil was looking for someone with PWS. Not a "typical" PWS family. Im not even sure what a "typical" PWS family is because we are all different. Wait until you see the other girl they are going to show footage of tomorrow. Thats not typical. I dont think. But that family does ALL they can to help her and she is still out of control. It is some pretty scary footage! Its sad to watch. I am going to a PHD therapist and getting the help that I went to the show for.

Hi Nichelle, 

  I was glad to see that you did a post on here. I want you to know that I personally emailed Dr. Phil to ask him to get you some help professional with your life and children. Now on another note. I am raising a child with Mental Retardation and Cp.. I know what its takes to raise a special needs child. I also can understand your frustration. I was pretty good at the regular parenting stuff, but then here came the big bang of a diagnoses. For me it was very depressing knowing that my child would not be like others. I asked for parenting classes on how to raise a disabled child and also got some professional theraphy to cope until I could figure it all out. I give you a lot of credit for getting the help professionally, I only know that is a good step in the right direction. It is not easy raising children period and then we find out about our kids having disabilities. Do you have a good support system in your area with true friends and family to help out??? I would like to keep writing if your interested. 

 
November 2, 2005, 5:16 pm CST

11/03 Extreme Food Obsessions

Quote From: joyceopp

 Hi Sharon:

Thank you for that inspiring post about your nephew, I bet he WAS the light of soo many lives.  I know that my little guy already is, everyone loves him and he loves everyone else!

I know that we will have our challenges, but I also know that we will get through them together as a family and with our new PWS family.  I hope that Dr. Phil actually Joins our family which would mean portraying ALL there is to our kids, not just highlighting the tantrums and stuff.

Thanks again!

Joyce

Thank you for your kind words, Joyce.  I hesitated to write about Scott for the simple reason I didn't want anyone raising a child with this syndrome to think they all have a short lifespan.  There is much more help available now.  I wish Dr. Phil would feature more children with disabilities such as Prader-Willi or Downs syndrome.  Daniel sounds like a sweet boy.  Enjoy him everyday! 

  

  

Sharon 

 
November 2, 2005, 5:23 pm CST

11/03 Extreme Food Obsessions

Quote From: katrin

Sharon - I just wanted to thank you so very much for sharing your story with all of us. It brought tears to my eyes in a happy yet sad way. Happy that you got the time to get to know such a WONDERFUL person and sad that he had to go. I'm so thankful for these message boards because they are just another way to keep the memories fresh and to remember loved ones that have moved on. Thank you once again... you have lit a light in my heart for you and your family and I'll always remember your story. 

  

Kat 

Thank you so much for letting me share about Scott here.  I appreciate your words of comfort, Kat.   


Sharon 

 
November 2, 2005, 5:55 pm CST

11/03 Extreme Food Obsessions

Quote From: nichelle81

Well I just thought your words were a little judemental. and I dont abuse my kids. I HAVE apnked her with a belt YES, but its on rare occasions. Its mainly my "mouth" that is the issue. I yell alot. and I do say mean things. I dont mean them, they just come out because IM SOOO MAD. WHen savannah is doing something she isnt supposed to be I CALMLY tell her once or twice to stop. Then she just does it anyways and looks at me to see how far she can push me. After 4 or 5 times I get mad and yell. My kids have NEVER EVER had marks or bruises of any type, (maybe from playing) but not from me. And as far as I remember....Dr. Phil was looking for someone with PWS. Not a "typical" PWS family. Im not even sure what a "typical" PWS family is because we are all different. Wait until you see the other girl they are going to show footage of tomorrow. Thats not typical. I dont think. But that family does ALL they can to help her and she is still out of control. It is some pretty scary footage! Its sad to watch. I am going to a PHD therapist and getting the help that I went to the show for.

Hi Nichelle, 

   I was able to see that you are from Michigan I just moved from their to Idaho. I want you to know their is a lot of services their for children with disablities. I also want you to know that my son who has cp and mental retardation. Is a joy to me and has taught me many life lessons. If I had it to do over again I wouldnt change a thing. If you need help with services in the Michigan area let me know. I will do my best to help you. I feel like not only are you struggling with your children, but might also be struggling with some of your own issues as well. So good luck in your theraphy and stick it out. It does work if you use what is recommended. 

 
November 2, 2005, 6:22 pm CST

just have to speak out.....

I am sorry but after seeing the previews from this show I just had to speak out, when I seen the way this cute little girl was being treated and see her sitting in the floor of the bathroom crying and her hand up my heart hit the floor... I am sorry but someone tresting kids like that does not deserve a child.... I read some of her responses to other messages but what about the little girls responses how does she feel... Put yourself in her shoes would you want your mother talking to you or treating you the way you treat your daughter?? Sorry Dr. Phil but when I seen the previews of thursdays show I wanted to come through the TV and pretect that little girl and just hold her.... she needs love not hate.... I have a daughter that is 16 and she is bigger than me but I have always told her I love her... for her inside not her outside... she has a big heart and a beautiful personality and that is what makes her beautiful not the outter shell.... I know also that single partenting is hard i did it for the first 5 years of my daughters life but she is and always be a part of me and be my life... She knows that mom will always be here to protect her and love her no matter what....  

  

Thankx for letting me unload... 

Rose..... 

  

  

 
November 2, 2005, 7:06 pm CST

Prader Willi discussion

As the mother of a 31 year old son with Prader Willi, I would just ask all to wait until the show airs to judge someone.  This syndrome has so many sides and opinions.  I can tell you my son is obese and a diabetic and also now suffers from pulmonary hypertension, tremendous fluid retention, cellulitis and now uses oxygen 2a dat.
/He presented all the common characteristics and life has been difficult.  The last few years have dealt with declining health, diabetic control issues and horrific temper tantrums.  We have a wonderful doctor who will try anything that will help without demeaning our son.  (Prader Willi persons have a skewed view of reality so our son thinks otherwise)  Since this isn't easy to describe, you just take each day at a time.  Some days are very low and some are a big high.  Our son doesn't think there is anything wrong with him, just everybody else is wrong.  Our younger sons (in their 20's) have coped with this all and are wonderful, helpful sons who allow my husband and I to escape the house occasionally for some time alone.  Extended family is helpful but it's hard for them to understand what to do.  He only allows my sister (a nurse) to do his insulin and testing.  Let's all watch and see what the show tells us about this particular family and we can comment afterwards.  I KNOW I have thought somedays about how easy it would be to become an abusive parent by crossing the line but until you've experienced this life 24/7, don't judge anyone too harshly.  Thanks for listening 
 
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