Topic : 08/25 Extreme Food Obsessions

I too was a single mother and yes it was hard but it still should have taken you six years and a national television show to reach out and get the help her daughter needed...I don't disagree that children are frustrating and I am sure that is magnified exponentially in your daughter because of her condition but you should have reached out much sooner and learned how to deal with her needs and you could have saved yourself from getting to the point of yelling, screaming and hitting her...I have three children and I have learned to take  a time out and deal with it when I am calm...I also know enough to recognize when I need help and take measures to get that help...even if it means calling someone and asking them if they can come give me a hand...do you not have any family you can call and if not a friend or someone from a support group or anyone...I just think you have to quit being a vicitim acknowledge your daughter has issues that you need help with and get the proper help and counseling and deal with it appropriately...I don't mean to be rude but you have to want to help yourself before  others can help you...I am sure you don't want to lose you child becasue you were too hard headed to step up to the plate and be the mother she needs you to be. 

  

  

 Hey - everyone has challenges when dealing with other people, and the parent-child relationship is one of the most complex and personal dynamicsof all of them.  However, there is no surer way to be driven crazy by your children than chanting the mantra "Children drive their parents crazy - that's what they DO!".  This is the negative reinforcement of a bad cultural principle we have in this society - throw it in the trash and build coping skills instead.

I really hope this doesn't offend ANY readers on here today, but after I saw the show today with Michelle & her daughter, this was just a thought that came to me.  I know it might sound awful to some, (including me because I myself have a baby that I would NEVER give up for anything in this world) but if Michelle doesn't feel that she can control herself or learn to accept and deal with her daughter's condition, maybe she should consider adopting her daughter out to someone who WOULD be able to handle it, love her, and care for her in the way she needs.    

  

Hopefully that doesn't offend.  If it does, I apologize.  But I just find it sad that her daughter has to live with that kind of treatement, as well as feeling bad for Michelle that she is living the life she is, and feeling the way she is...  Anyway, I just hope things work out.  Looks like a very tough situation, and I know it would be hard for ME also if I ever were faced with a situation like that.  .  .  

As a professional who deals with children with developmental disorders, I am extremely concerned for the life of the child on your show today.  The lack of understanding, compassion and overall self concern rather than child concern is extreme.  This parent needs to understand the limitations of her child and further, develop skills now.  The best time to address behavioral concerns, establish lifelong patterns and overall life structure is in childhood.  Brain research says the best time is prior to age 8.  This family is wasting precious time in assisting this child.  Changes will be harder at a later age.  Please contact your local or state chapter for a PWS support group so you can learn about your child, develop her skills to the fullest and work with her now. 

Sincerely, 

Mary R 

I haven't watched the show, and think I will chose to watch HGTV or some other show today.  I just watched the clips of the show about the girl who has an over-eating disorder, and I was overcome with nausea.  Why was she eating chips, cookies, and God knows what other junk foods?  She should be eating healthy low fat foods that can be tasty when prepared in a variety of ways.  Giving a child with an over-eating disorder non-healthy foods just adds fuel to the fire.  I'd say get rid of the junk foods, and consult with a nutritionist who would be able to guide and teach the parents about eating healthy.  

Nichelle, your segment made me cry.  I can't imagine what you go through on a daily basis.  I hope the fact that you have established contact with another family whose daughter has the same syndrome will be a help and an encouragement to you.  Please know that there are people out here who have watched the show and will keep you and your daughter in our prayers.

I thought Dr. Phil was very hard on you.  It's all well and good that other families are able to tolerante and cope with a child with a disorder such as this.  The fact of the matter is not everyone is wired the same way.  There are people who simply cannot cope with certain situations.  That does not make you a bad person.  You are a good person for seeking help in dealing with your daughter's disorder. 

  

 I hope you are able to come to terms with your daughter's PWS. 

  

It may be that these girls could be trained in yoga at a dedicated yoga center that has live on site facilities, and staff.  It would seem possible that through the dedicted and long term training in yoga they could have some structured support and the yoga may help them manage the compulsion to over eat by the physical sensation increase that usually results from long term yoga practice.  I'm betting it would also go along way toward offsetting over eating, staying intensely and personally focused in the moment to help distract person suffering from this type of intense, personal experience.  Just as people can feel extremely excited or numbed by the eating experience so can they tailor and generate sensations and experiences from the daily practice of yoga.  Both can have an addictive quality too (for some), and I would imagine these girls could become quite good at yoga due to their obvious strength and endurance.    Food for thought?  Love Noom

  

I can't believe what I just saw. I felt sick. While I know that you have a tough row to hoe there is no way of describing your behaviour as anything but child abuse. Apart from the fact that she is only a child she isn't a normal child, how can you treat anyone or anything like that ? I wouldn't treat an animal the way you treat and speak to your daughter. You ought to thank your lucky stars that you have a child as there are milions of people that can't or that have had a child and lost it or have a child who is severely mentally or physically challenged. I hope you are as disgusted with yourself when you see yourself on TV as I am by you. 

Nichelle, although I am not a parent of a PWS child, I am 28 and the sister of a 27 year old PWS woman. I was struck by your comment that "she knows that she shouldn't do it" as it resonated within my own experience. I know that when I was younger I often had that frustrating thought again and again, but only found it to be paralyzing. It was an easy out that made me feel OK about any bad behavior I'd exhibit toward my sister. I am not always proud of how I maneuvered myself in my relationship with her in the past and harbor much guilt about it. I am lucky compared to you, however, I was just a child and did not have the tools to always deal with her in a positive way. Now that I am an adult, I am trying to reconnect with her in order to realize the full potential of having her as an incredible force in my life. Don't misbehave now to regret it later. I absolutely sympathize with you and cannot begin to pretend that I know how it feels to be the mother of Savannah. I wish you strength and education in order to successfully deal with your life long journey. Take a Learning and Behavior course at your local community college or even just buy a text book over the net ( a great, easy to read one is : Learning & Behavior by Paul Chance, it's out in its 5th edtion right now, ISBN 0-534-59868-4). If only I had known then what I know now. There are so many ways to curb her unwanted behaviors and have peace in your house.