Topic : 08/25 Extreme Food Obsessions

I'm rather late on getting my message to you.  When I first saw the show I said to myself, Wow-what a witch.  By the end of the show I was feeling your pain.  I don't have kids, so I can't even begin to tell you how to parent.  I do know that you do love your little girl, and I could tell that you are very stressed, and burned out.  You are on overload!!!!!    I believe you were doing your best with the knowledge that you had-which was nil.  Now that you have been on the show, you will be gaining some good learning tools.  Just remember, take each day at a time.  Don't look back.  You did at the time what you knew best.  I am not religious, but I believe that you were given this little girl for a reason.  She is here to teach you something.  I know years down the road you will see this.  Please take care of yourself.  As the Dr. always says, you need to take care of these children's mother. 

Do something good for you.  Take a long nice bath.  Go out to lunch with a friend. 

You were not reaching out for help, you were reaching out for a PITY PARTY! You're whole attitude and message is all about you. Oh you POOR SINGLE MOTHER!! Let me weep for you... NOT. 

I happen to be the single mother to a very wonderful little boy who has a language disability. However, you wouldn't know it because of how I've raised him properly with LOVE AND PRAISE AND KINDNESS!  

YOU ARE THE REASON YOUR KIDS ARE HAVING A HARD TIME. They did nothing and are not born wrong. They may have unique challenges but that is what makes parenting a joy and not a burden. You obviously shouldn't have EVER reproduced. 

Able or Disabled, you do not have the right to EVER lay your hands on those children.  

YOU are a physical and verbal and mental and spiritual abusive. YOU have set those children BACK in life and not helped them in any manner. So stop your whining and blaming it all on them, it's YOUR FAULT. 

I will not commend you for 'reaching out' when we both know you just wanted some attention. 

Let's quote some points that prove what I'm saying. 

Savannah has terrible fits of rage, violent outbursts, and screams bloody murder when she doesnt get her way. DEAL WITH THAT!!! you havent seen anything yet. Im a 24 year old SINGLE mom with 2 spoiled little brats.  

NO ONE who knows me will EVEN watch my one year old. (she was born a mamma's girl and a screamer!) IM ALL ALONE. 

Can I get SOME credit?!  

You should be in jail, and I am highly surprised you weren't picked up then and there. I have NO sympathy for you, but I have plenty of sympathy for your children. Further, Dr. Phil, I am appalled your camera crews did not stop her from mistreating her child like that.  

Miss Heidi 

I wish someone would have helped me, I can relate too Michelle, yes it's easy too scream and shout, and curse her....... but I can't do that, I myself have a special needs child. 3yrs ago we went through a living hell...... As she went from being a child too teen, she was out of control! each day she would wake up, yelling at me for no reason, hitting me, biting me, leaving me battered and bruised not just physically but emotionally, drained and worn out, my spirit was broken beaten down…….  I didn’t know which way too turn, I yelled and screamed at the dr’s too help me, no one seemed too know or grasp at what was going on……  Sometimes I would find myself in Michelle’s situation, yelling and screaming, back at my daughter, I never ever hit her back!!! Too this day I do not know how I did it, but I did!  It wasn’t until we went too child and adolescent psychologist that, she was finally diagnosed as having Bi-Polar, Autism, Fragile X. …… and was able too get on the right medication….. it took months and allot of  Dr’s  visits, until we finally got it right!  Then and only then was it time for me too seek help,  it took months of treatment, at a wonderful day time clinic at the local hospital.  I had too learned for myself that the screaming and yelling was NOT working!   I had too calm myself down, in order too calm her down!!!!!   Things have finally turned around for the better!   My daughter and I have gotten too know one another all over again, through spending time, doing activities together, getting her a wonderful school….. and respite care when I feel we need break!     

This is just a fraction of what went one during that time period, but the whole point is if you don’t help yourself you can not help your child! Then and only then will things begin too turn around

All the best!

Lets modify your advice a bit and make it apply to your situation. 

"Being obese does NOT help or solve anything!!! You become so obsessed with being obese, that you become TOO OBESE and end up putting your life more at risk!!! There certainly is NOTHING healthy about being OBESE & there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING good that comes from having this disorder!!! I REALLY hope you realize the damage you're doing to yourself, not only physically but also emotionally & mentally and I seriously hope you get the help you need to break out of this before its too late!!! PLEASE, PLEASE GET SOME HELP, ASAP!!! " 

Your  advice is probably very heartfelt, but is mostly a search for self-justification.  There is almost zero chance that you will go from 300 lbs to anorexic.  Wanting and doing are two different things.  Since you do not try, you do not fail.  Very safe for you.  Heard about the Dr. Phil Weight Loss program? 

As Dr. Phil would say your "internal dialog" tells you all the negative things you fear , so you don't even need a person to do that.   

No one likes stepping on that scale at the Doctor visit.  I have figured out that they are not out to get me.  Weight change alerts the doctor to many things and is a diagnostic tool just like taking your BP. 

I think you should be screened for depression.  Most weight issues are emotional in nature.  Antidepressants may help.  Depression will also affect your motivation and organizational skills. 

Next, GET A JOB.  It may be only part time flipping hamburgers, but you will be surprised how GREAT it feels to earn your own money.  This will also provide social interaction which it sounds like you desperately need. 

And EXERCISE.  I know from personal experience this helps depression.  I do not mean you have to get a gym membership, just walk around your neighborhood.  QUIT sitting around all day. 

Continue in school.  Flipping burgers is fine while in school, just don't make a career of it. 

Yes....I agree. Anorexia is a disease and it is not a choice. Just thought I'd tell you I agree and like the way you used her quote. 

JUlie 

Hi, 

 I would like to say that there is too much pressure today on woman to be thin. 

I am a 26 year old woman who just in the last five years has become what is considered 

"plus sized", and I am really sick of having to shop for clothes that are less stylish, due 

to being heavier.  

 I never had a weight problem growing up. My sister and I grew up in a household with no 

snacks, candy, or treats. It was a result of my mom not being able to afford those things.  

We had to "invent" our own treats after school. Cheese melted on bread was our favorite.  

 In junior high and high school, my sister was overweight. She was a beautiful girl on both the 

inside and outside, but was often depressed due to her weight. She withdrew from friends and 

did poorly in school because of it.  

 After high school, my sister became a strict vegetarian. I watched her shrink and shrink, until she 

became so thin, she began passing out. She went from being a loving, sweet girl to an absolute terror in the household. She was partying and not eating, and wore baggy clothes so her bones wouldn't show. It was really scary.  

 What I felt was worse than her losing weight, though, was the fact that I began GAINING. This was 

new to me, and I hated it. I felt uglier and uglier with every new pound. I felt so selfish knowing that my sister now looked like a runway model, and I felt like an old woman!  

  Now that my sister and I are both married adults, we realize that we both have weight struggles. She still has to get on her scale everyday to weigh herself....I, on the other hand, haven't touched a scale in several years. She knows that she now has to stay strong and healthy for her daughter.  

I have to get in shape for my own reasons.  

  Has society always carried the notion that skinny equals pretty?