Topic : 08/25 Extreme Food Obsessions

Being the mother of a child, with physical challenges (as well as mental challenges...which is how Dr Phil should label this....not mentlly retarded) I was appalled by the actions and the behavior of this mother. And her saying that this child understands, was a bunch of bull.  My child needs constant repetition and constant reminding and that is what she gets, when she needs it. And for her to call her names, because "she doesn't want her to be shocked by the children at school"...what is the little girl going to say, "it's ok, my mommy calls me the same names"? I agree that this woman needs help, and more than Dr Phil can offer. This little girl does not deserve this, she deserves a parent/parents (not much was mentioned if any about the father) who will support her, be there for her, and guide her to the best of thier ability. I wouldn't even give her 2% of the ability right now. I cried watching her call that sweet baby names, and the threats was uncalled for. I feel the child should be placed in some sort of therapy/counseling. I know it won't help her challenges, but it would give themom a break, and the mom could go for her well deserved counseling on how to soak in the fact this baby will not change, and she needs to learn to cope and accept. If she can not, as hard as it would be on the baby, she should be placed in a loving, caring home, where she wold the care and love she so deserves. The little one shold not suffer because of her mother's denial.

my parents and iwere just wondering the symptons of the prader-willi syndrome. my sister is 9 1/2 years old. she wants to eat constantly and has adhd. she weighs 123 lbs. should my parents consult a doctor about this?

 dear dr phil hi my name is phillip I have pws  i was watching you show i live in a ganisville fl  there is a group home for pws there is train staff to help pws I live in a group home for 4 years now im am liveing on my own appament and i work arond food but i can controle it hunger to eat
my food is not lock up and still ond my diet 

I am furious after reading the show today. I had a sister who had PWS. She was also mentally challenged. We had a tough roud she was 13 months older than me. As we were growing up my parents divorced when I was 4 years old. With my sister Christine being sick. I automatically became the older child. I had to watch her and my other 2 siblings. You want to talk about trying to keep food away. It was not easy. But you know something with the patients and the love we had for her we did it. I cannot believe what NIchelle said and did to Savannah. She is one parent that does not deserve to have children. She seemed to me that she is in denial that her child is mentally challenged.   She is SOOOOOOOOO angry that she takes it out on Savannah. I hope DCS was watching that and removed Savannah from her home..Until  Nichelle can get a grip on life. God gave her a very special child and she doesn't seem to care. I am so upset. I miss my sister very much. She passed Nov 16,2001. Christine (my sister) went to school everyday, shopping,dances,sleep overs Bingo and she also babysat for my child. She was very responsible because we treated her with respect and lots of love and care. She was very well Loved by everyone. We did have some difficult days but we managed through them. She also did weight watches we all  helped her. we did the diet with her,. And boy if you ate her food. she let you know !! She was so funny and happy because she was around happy people. I am so glad that I was not in your audience, because I know that I would have got up went on stage and slapped her in the face and called her the names that she called Savannah!!  I will pray for Savannah so that she will hopefully find someone that will love her just the way she is. I know i would take her home with me.

 

Michelle

I agree with you whole heartedly. I had a sister who was the same way. GOD sent an Angel to that mother. Any child taht is mentally Challenged is an Angel in my eyes. That mom does not deserve to have any children what so ever. My sister passed Nov 16 2001. at the age of 42. Imiss her so much.

 

Thanks for letting me share

Michelle

Nicholle, there are SO many things wrong with your story, but let's start with the fact that you're TWENTY FOUR YEARS OLD with TWO children! THAT is one of your problems right there! you're obviously still too immature to handle yourself, let alone your kids!

secondly, I'm 20 years old with spina bifida, which is a birth defect. I also have hydrocephalus, which is water in the brain. i am totally normal in talking, but do have some comprehension problems.  my mother was pretty abusive with me when i was younger. I was PHYSICALLY NOT ABLE to do certain chores, and yet i got hit for not doing my chores! my health was and still is very unstable, and she was VERY inconsiderate of things progressing too quickly. If i had a headache due to a shunt problem, she told me i was exaggerating so i wouldnt have to help her!

dont make her mistake! do not make less of your child's VERY SERIOUS situation! do not belittle her!

I am not a person who is experienced with PWS however I am a person experienced with abuse by a mother, verbal abuse, it is not good, wether you have a mental problem causing you to eat without control or not there is no excuse for a mother to tell her six year old daughter that she will kill her or to call her beautiful daughter those ugly names, I know I was forced to go to school and ask my english teacher certain meanings of certian names.  No mother worth her weight in beans calls her child those kinds of names, a child is a gift on "LOAN", a child is a GIFT just a GIFT not a RIGHT.  I faced abuse all my life and I am now going to be 48 years old next month and I still feel the pain, I praise God I have not passed that pain on, but it is only by the Grace of God that I have not passed on that pain.  When will this world learn that children are so very very precious, we do not need to beat them with our fists or with our words, instead we need to love them, care for them, watch out for them, protect them, provide for them and never ever beat them down in any way shape or form.  We were put here to love one another, it is time we started,  we can start with teaching our children to love themselves and to love each other. 

 

We can do this with God's help!

Sandy

Delaware

Hi Nicky, My name is Sandy and I just read your message.....I am over weight too, I have some health problems as well, but I care about you, I don't know you but I really do care, I am not sure why you are so unhappy other than your health problems which are, of course enough to knock you on you butt, believe me I know that much.  I have a degenerative disc disease which usually only hits those who are in their 70's and older reallly hard -- welp hit me in my late 20's and now I can barely walk, I have my own way of dealing with it tho, but enough about me Nicky I am worried about you........I didn't like what you wrote about ending your life.........believe me Nicky life is way way too short to end it, is it really that bad?????? Is there nothing that can make it better?  I bet there is, maybe if we put our heads together we could think of something together.  You said in your message you couldn't find anyone to listen.......well you just did.....ME  I will listen and I will talk to ya too......if you want me to, for as long as you want me to...............OK Nicky?  Because I do really care Nicky I really do.  I dooooo really care Nicky, and you know what I love food too, man do I love food too, my problem is I want to consider ice cream like a really major food ha ha.  I realize it isn't but I like to pretend it is, matter of fact I remember when I first moved out on my own, the first thing I did on my own (now most girls had a boy spend the night) nope not me, I had ice cream for breakfast---ha ha how's that grab ya!!!!  Talk to me Nicky!!!!!!!! I will listen I promise......just give me a chance :-)

I have to tell you that I was so excited when I saw your show come on the air.  I was just flipping through channels and came upon it.  I immediately called my parents and told them to watch, and I have never watched your show before.

My brother is 24 years old and was diagnosed with PWS long before I was even born.  After he was born, my older sister was born and developed meningitis, which damaged and killed many of her brain cells.  The combination of these two handicaps and the lack of understanding I grew up with, caused for a very clashing household.  It was normal for there to be a fight about an angry out burst my brother had shown at school, after we had our family dinner.  The thing was, he wanted to be just as "normal" as everyone else.  That I think is what touched me most.  I think it would be really really important for the mom who was on your show to understand that this disorder is entirely beyond their control.  It is an obsession and it cause people to act much the same way that a phobia would cause a person to act.  The person with the disorder may rationalize that their behavior isn't appropriate or normal, but they really can not help themselves. 

In addition to being driven to eat, they are manipulative and persistant.  Those were the qualities that we had to deal with the most in my household, since we were generally really good about keeping the food locked up.  If you know anything about Munchausen's disease, you know that they are very good about covering their tracts.  This is also true for those suffering with PWS.  We would find food wrappers hidden all over the house: in between mattresses and in dresser drawers.  Not always in his room either, mostly in our rooms (I also have a younger brother).  I actually distinctly remember one time when we found him digging through the trash by a neighborhood pool.  Every person has to recognize that this is a mentally (and thus physically) restricting and dictating disorder.

At one point, my family moved to Minnesota because we were told, "If you want good care for mentally handicapped individuals, go to a state that starts with an M"  I don't know how true that statement is, but I know that we found help there. We, as a family, went to an annual PW picnic and camping expedition.  And we met other people who were coping with this syndrom as well (people who were syblings and people who parents, relatives and those coping with this themselves).

I'm not sure if it was due to these interactions, to the really good friends he made or simply because my brother was strong, but he has done more than any other person with PW that I have ever met.  He graduated high school with a regular diploma and not a completion certificate.  He is working at taking art classes because he is an amazing painter.  And he is so much more controlled about his disorder...I suppose I shouldn't say controlled because that's not really true, he does live in a controlled PW home, but he's very aware of it.  While he still denys doing wrong when he's practically caught, he is better than I have seen him in years.  And I think that's from the encouragement of those around him and the support that my parents have been able to give him.  He truly is amazing.  And I do love him for it, even when he annoys the crap out of me.  I just wanted to share my story with someone who might actually understand (since you've at least heard of this disorder, unlike most people).

And if anyone wants to talk to me about their stories, please feel free to e-mail me!

ItalianTongueFrenchHeart@gmail.com

Clearly you don't seem to comprehend the difference between Nichelle's daughter's disability and your son's disability. There is a tremedous difference between both and without dimishing what you go through, I have to say that Nichelle's going through a much tougher situation than you are.

 

I can't stand others' being so critical of Nichelle who had the courage to come on the show. You think she does this for pity? Hell no, this is an embarassing situation to be sitting there with Dr Phil and to have him grill you over your methods. I wouldn't be proud to have to resort to coming on Dr Phil to solve my problems... rather I find that it is humiliating.

 

I am not here to agree or disagree with Nichelle. I don't necessarily agree with the way she chooses to handle her daughter, yet  I feel for her. It is not entirely HER fault. Instead of sitting there and judging others because your disabled child was not as difficult as Nichelle's daughter is, think of what it's like to go through that every single day of your life. It's like comparing apples and oranges. Get over your anger and realize that not everybody can handle difficult situations perfectly. We're human, some of us have short fuses, some of us have the patience of a saint, that's why we call it LIFE.

 

Hang in there Nichelle, many of us are thinking about you and hope that you'll be able to find the help necessary to make your life and Savannah's life better.