Topic : 08/25 Extreme Food Obsessions

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Created on : Friday, October 28, 2005, 02:17:57 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 11/03/05) What if you were so obsessed with eating that it almost killed you, or craving food so badly that you yelled, kicked and screamed when you couldn't get enough. Nichelle's 6-year-old daughter has Prader-Willi Syndrome and constantly wants to eat. She once threw a fit so loud, the neighbors called the police. Can Nichelle learn to control her own temper when her daughter has a tantrum? Then, Dr. Phil follows up with Kathy, an anorexic whose condition was so severe, she weighed only 68 pounds. She spent three months in treatment, but her struggle is not over yet. Can her family learn the difference between supporting her and enabling her? Talk about the show here.

 

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August 26, 2006, 9:12 am PDT

Getting Treatment

Quote From: weeziesmom

Hi Nicky, My name is Sandy and I just read your message.....I am over weight too, I have some health problems as well, but I care about you, I don't know you but I really do care, I am not sure why you are so unhappy other than your health problems which are, of course enough to knock you on you butt, believe me I know that much.  I have a degenerative disc disease which usually only hits those who are in their 70's and older reallly hard -- welp hit me in my late 20's and now I can barely walk, I have my own way of dealing with it tho, but enough about me Nicky I am worried about you........I didn't like what you wrote about ending your life.........believe me Nicky life is way way too short to end it, is it really that bad?????? Is there nothing that can make it better?  I bet there is, maybe if we put our heads together we could think of something together.  You said in your message you couldn't find anyone to listen.......well you just did.....ME  I will listen and I will talk to ya too......if you want me to, for as long as you want me to...............OK Nicky?  Because I do really care Nicky I really do.  I dooooo really care Nicky, and you know what I love food too, man do I love food too, my problem is I want to consider ice cream like a really major food ha ha.  I realize it isn't but I like to pretend it is, matter of fact I remember when I first moved out on my own, the first thing I did on my own (now most girls had a boy spend the night) nope not me, I had ice cream for breakfast---ha ha how's that grab ya!!!!  Talk to me Nicky!!!!!!!! I will listen I promise......just give me a chance :-)

I have spent what seems like my whole life battling eating disorders.  I am always either anorexic or bulimic.  In the beginning stages, I resisted any help and denied having a problem.  I am fortunately past the stage of denying a problem, but can't find any help.  I read article after article about people who have recovered from the anorexia/bulimia, but they always end the same: they did it through treatment.  I am DESPERATE for help, but can't afford $2,000/ day for intense treatment - which is what I need, considering I keep my head in the toilet practically all day.

 

Bottom line, it seems you have to have money to save yourself.  I don't want to die.  I want to graduate from law school, have children, live a NORMAL life.  Not feel like an alien at the dinner table eating melon while others enjoy bread and pasta! 

 

Why is it so impossible to get treatment?

 
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August 26, 2006, 9:14 am PDT

08/25 Extreme Food Obsessions

Quote From: nichelle81

OK, first of ALL... until recently I did not know what my daughter had. Second of all, your son is ONLY 21 months....you have NO clue what the future holds for you with a child who has that disorder. Savannah has terrible fits of rage, violent outbursts, and screams bloody murder when she doesnt get her way. DEAL WITH THAT!!! you havent seen anything yet. Im a 24 year old SINGLE mom with 2 spoiled little brats. I try to do the best I can. I DO spoil them sometimes because I love them, but its taking its toll! NO ONE who knows me will EVEN watch my one year old. (she was born a mamma's girl and a screamer!) IM ALL ALONE. I went to Dr. Phil for help because OBVIOULSY I felt I needed it!!! Can I get SOME credit?! People dont air their dirty laundry JUST BECAUSE! Do you think I want the whole world to think Im a jerk?! NO, but I DO Know I need help with dealing with my daughter. I cant handle it by myself. Dont come down on someone that had the nerve to even come forward! its a good thing! I HAD THE "BALLS" TO SAY ON NATIONAL TV WHAT EVERY OTHER FRUSTRATED PARENT IS THINKING, AND I WASNT SCARED!!!! be a jerk if you want, but i think I just opened up a whole can of worms...youll see. TUNE IN!!!! 

  

First off I have to say your child is beautiful, second off if she is a spoiled brat maybe you need to come to terms with whos is the real person to blame. Ur daughter is still young and you getting in her face and telling her you're gonna kill her and kick her ass! You should be reported! That's absolutely NO excuse. Every kid throws tantrums. They are young they test waters. You're letting her get away with it then you're yelling and hitting her. Ur confusing this poor child. Yes she has an eating disorder but ur her mother so care and nurture her like you should be. In my opinion ur crazy as hell! You seem like a sad person urself don't take it out on her!
 
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August 26, 2006, 9:31 am PDT

to Kathy

Hi Kathy

 

I just want you to know that you look so good and healthy now.  I am very proud of you and your struggle.  Yes, it is a struggle but just look at you. WOW!!!!  it is so worth it for you to look this great and to be here to tell and show it.  Your courage is going to set the pace in someonelse's life to get help also.  That should make you so proud.  Keep up the GRRRREAT work.  I'm praying for you girl.

 

Love ya

 

Jannie

 

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August 26, 2006, 9:40 am PDT

08/25 Extreme Food Obsessions

Quote From: nazaba

Nicholle, there are SO many things wrong with your story, but let's start with the fact that you're TWENTY FOUR YEARS OLD with TWO children! THAT is one of your problems right there! you're obviously still too immature to handle yourself, let alone your kids!

secondly, I'm 20 years old with spina bifida, which is a birth defect. I also have hydrocephalus, which is water in the brain. i am totally normal in talking, but do have some comprehension problems.  my mother was pretty abusive with me when i was younger. I was PHYSICALLY NOT ABLE to do certain chores, and yet i got hit for not doing my chores! my health was and still is very unstable, and she was VERY inconsiderate of things progressing too quickly. If i had a headache due to a shunt problem, she told me i was exaggerating so i wouldnt have to help her!

dont make her mistake! do not make less of your child's VERY SERIOUS situation! do not belittle her!

Nicholle , im 37 with  4 kids im stressed i have a 15-boy,10-g and twin 5-boys one of my twins is just lik ur little girl .. he hits kicks bites and yes screams.  he is always trying to eat.. he is over weight  i dont wont him big either but there is things u can do.. i have locks on allllllllllll my food and have had since he could crawl that helps  some but it  dont stop the over eating it takes alot of  time  and  energy to cope  with him   i really do alot  wrong as u do . i belive in punishment and have learned to bye mostly diet stuff and  hide  stuff so he  thinks i have nothing left  ... it helps when he thinks i have no food  at home just make  sure  when u get  the food hid u dont ever let her see where u hide it.. my son  has never been  said he has  prader willy  but it sure  looks like it is  what he has  ....   try to chill  and get creative an ur disapline with her  food it is hard  but u can do it..... with all my prayers for  u and ur family...

 
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August 26, 2006, 10:02 am PDT

some ideas

Quote From: wishicouldhelp

Good afternoon.  I feel that I'm here by fate.  I came home from work a little early today and caught the last 10 minutes of the show.  I've been trying to find a way to help this family. I've been worried about my daughter's friend who has been diagnosed with anorexia.  She is 14 and currently in an instituion for the mentally ill, because that is all that was open to her when she needed to be admitted to a hospital and there is not a facility in our area for this type of illness.  Her mom is desperately trying to find a facility for her to go to.  Apparently she needs long term care.  Because she is on state provided insurance, her options are very limited.  Already she has been hospitalized without eating disorder treatment for over 3 months while facilities and insurance companies haggle over what to do.  All the while, she's in grave danger.  She was allowed to attend her 8th grade graduation in June, was in the the hospital before and has been since, with the threat of a feeding tube looming over her.  It seems that everywhere her mom turns for help, a door is slammed in her face.  What can be done before this girl dies???!!!

Go to a Church and ask for the teen center to help raise $$$ by flea-markets; bake sales, car washes etc.  Go to the school principal for suggestions and ideas also.  Get the right information on the danger of this disease on teen girls and boys.  Let them hand out the information to parents friends - anywhere they may go.  Check with your dept stores in the area and see if they will sponsor gift cards for donations.  I have to tell you that kids really care about other kids in trouble and they really want to help too.  All they really need is a plan.  You would be amazed at the results our younger generation can accomplish when given a chance to show that they care as well as what they can do for a good cause and saving someones life. 

 

A lot of times when dept. stores see your efforts in a good cause; they might just start helping you by matching what you have made.  Have an idea - turn it into a plan - make it stick.  Remember check out all you can before starting it to make sure you are doing things correctly.

 

Write to your congressman about this and see what he can do to help, if any....  Try all avenues.  It's a sin not too.  I truly believe you can do this with the help of others.  Don't think that it will be impossible.  Impossible is only true if you have depleated all you resources and avenues to take.

 

You are in my prayers and your daughters friend is also.  God knows she is in the wrong place; that is why you posted this......

 

I hope this helps some.  Let me know how it is going; you can repond to any of my shared diary entries.

Jannie

 
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August 26, 2006, 1:19 pm PDT

Is there a forum for PWS families?

I have searched the web for a support forum for members of families with PWS and can't find one. If there is an interest, I could easily create one in the free forums section of my website. But don't want to "re-invent the wheel" if support forums for PWS already exist.

 

If you know of existing forums or have an interest, you can e-mail me via any e-mail link on my free website caloriesperhour.com. It is dedicated to helping people deal with food and weight issues and began as my hobby as I have an eating disorder myself.

 

Thank you Dr. Phil for helping to educate us all,

 

Peter

 
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August 26, 2006, 4:00 pm PDT

nichelle81

Quote From: bittersweet

First off I have to say your child is beautiful, second off if she is a spoiled brat maybe you need to come to terms with whos is the real person to blame. Ur daughter is still young and you getting in her face and telling her you're gonna kill her and kick her ass! You should be reported! That's absolutely NO excuse. Every kid throws tantrums. They are young they test waters. You're letting her get away with it then you're yelling and hitting her. Ur confusing this poor child. Yes she has an eating disorder but ur her mother so care and nurture her like you should be. In my opinion ur crazy as hell! You seem like a sad person urself don't take it out on her!

great picture! she has such beautiful eyes! she looks like you too. did you both have fun visiting L.A.? how did she like being there? I go to dr.phil show all the time. how did you feel when he spoke to you and do regret going? i think you did right by seeking the best prof. help around. that was a responsible thing to do. does your family live around you to help? where is the father and his family? have any friends? where do you live? i raised 2 out of my 4 kids by myself at 22. life gets better. i am married and achieving my masters now and the kids are great and stable. just don't freak out and become anxietied. that makes everything worse.

how is your daughter doing now, since you visited dr.phil? and your hip-hugger? what is her name?

jbrook 

 
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August 26, 2006, 4:03 pm PDT

hey nichelle!

i posted a message for you and was hoping you find it and respond to me. I hope i can help you and at least communicate over this board to help too. my name is jbrook and i responded to your nice picture that you posted of you and savanah in L.A.

read it and respond. not all messages are brutall.

jbrook

 
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August 26, 2006, 4:57 pm PDT

08/25 Extreme Food Obsessions

Quote From: foremanl

Clearly you don't seem to comprehend the difference between Nichelle's daughter's disability and your son's disability. There is a tremedous difference between both and without dimishing what you go through, I have to say that Nichelle's going through a much tougher situation than you are.

 

I can't stand others' being so critical of Nichelle who had the courage to come on the show. You think she does this for pity? Hell no, this is an embarassing situation to be sitting there with Dr Phil and to have him grill you over your methods. I wouldn't be proud to have to resort to coming on Dr Phil to solve my problems... rather I find that it is humiliating.

 

I am not here to agree or disagree with Nichelle. I don't necessarily agree with the way she chooses to handle her daughter, yet  I feel for her. It is not entirely HER fault. Instead of sitting there and judging others because your disabled child was not as difficult as Nichelle's daughter is, think of what it's like to go through that every single day of your life. It's like comparing apples and oranges. Get over your anger and realize that not everybody can handle difficult situations perfectly. We're human, some of us have short fuses, some of us have the patience of a saint, that's why we call it LIFE.

 

Hang in there Nichelle, many of us are thinking about you and hope that you'll be able to find the help necessary to make your life and Savannah's life better.

I can't agree more.  I got mad at Nichelle too only because my mother was just like her. I don't admire Nichelle for much, however, I admire her for sharing her story on national TV. In regards to "seeking attention" or "seeking a pity party", I don't think she was. As for me, I LOVE attention, but I want attention for the things I have done well - **NOT** - for my screw ups in life. I would never ever go on TV to report and do a "show and tell" of how terrible a person I was. And then on top of it all, getting scolded by Dr. Phil simultaneously watching the dirty looks and groans from the audience. "Embarrassing" and "humiliating" are the correct words to describe this. I sincerely agree with Nichelle that she shared her story to get help.

Think about it. If she were REALLY into getting public attention, she could have killed her daughter and wound up in headlines all over, "Mother kills a disabled child with PWS". She wants pity? I want pity too when I'm going through rough times, but I would never go as far to seek pity from strangers at the expense of getting humiliated in the process. Let me explain more...

My mother always carried the "victim card" throughout her life always trying to get me and my aunt to understand the pain she was in. She wanted constant attention and pity. I was never a daughter. I was a mother from a very young age. My mom used the "victim card" to manipulate us. With me, she used it as an excuse to further abuse me. I was a kid. I was defenseless. I had no other choice but to listen to my mom's "woe tales" as she banged my head repeatedly against the wall and on one occasion tried to suffacate me with a pillow. I will leave out the rest, but what I'm trying to say is that I ONLY WISH MY MOTHER WOULD HAVE SOUGHT HELP whether publicly or in private. She did nothing.

For these reasons, I highly commend Nichelle for reaching out. I respect her for trying to find other ways to deal with these trying times with her daughter. She is doing what my own mother never had the balls to do.
 
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August 26, 2006, 9:00 pm PDT

I battle foot too

Quote From: rebecs2625

I have spent what seems like my whole life battling eating disorders.  I am always either anorexic or bulimic.  In the beginning stages, I resisted any help and denied having a problem.  I am fortunately past the stage of denying a problem, but can't find any help.  I read article after article about people who have recovered from the anorexia/bulimia, but they always end the same: they did it through treatment.  I am DESPERATE for help, but can't afford $2,000/ day for intense treatment - which is what I need, considering I keep my head in the toilet practically all day.

 

Bottom line, it seems you have to have money to save yourself.  I don't want to die.  I want to graduate from law school, have children, live a NORMAL life.  Not feel like an alien at the dinner table eating melon while others enjoy bread and pasta! 

 

Why is it so impossible to get treatment?

I battle with food as well, however I do not have two children to live for as you do, so it sounds to me you have every reason to KEEP ON KEEPIN ON.  I do realize it does take money to go to THOSE PLACES to get treatment, I don't have the disease you are speaking of, I wish I had a "quick fix" for you but I do not I will not lie to you, I will pray for you I do know that praying does work.  I do not know where you live are there clinics where you are that  would help you.   Alot of places will offer help without charging, there are loop holes it is just a matter of finding them, there are alot of state agencies you just have to make alot of calls and it all depends what state you live in, I live in Delaware and Delaware seems to offer alot to the people here at least that has been my experience.   I want to encourage you and tell you one step at a time, but that I am sure is not what you want nor need to hear, how long has this been going on with you?  Do you have any family close to you that can help, have you ever written a hand written letter to Dr. Phil or called his staff and spoken to them, they are caring people who know what to say and can more than likely stear you in the right direction, they do not have to have you on the show but I bet you they could point you in the right direction.  I know this disease you are having a problem with is very serious and nothing to play with and I know that your children need thier mommy...........so please please do not stop trying for them do not stop trying.  I will keep listening if it helps.  I am not a counselor, I am just a 47 going on 48 year old christian woman who really does care about you and I am going to pray really hard for you and your children, that my dear is a promise. 
 

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