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Topic : 11/04 A Shopping Intervention

Number of Replies: 190
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Created on : Friday, October 28, 2005, 02:25:46 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Are you living way beyond your means? Do you shop for one pair of shoes, but come home with 10 pairs? Bridgette is deep in debt and often spends $7,000 a week on luxury items. She even dropped $25,000 in one weekend! Her husband, Michael, says her shopping is an addiction that's ruining their marriage and family. Find out the one big secret that Bridgette's been keeping from him. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

 

 

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November 4, 2005, 8:16 am CST

I'm Astonished

 That there are men out there that actually would tolerate their spouse spending sooo much money. This woman really has a major problem and it is not  about spending money or going on shopping sprees.  There is a more serious problem here and she needs to look deeper then what's on the surface.  All I can say is her husband must really love her  to keep going on with this putting all the responsibility on him.  I understand he is a Dr. but this is extreme and really taking advantage of the situation and her husband..
I have supported myself and my son for the past 15 years of my marriage.  All necessities, cloths, food, gas, etc.  But now I am not working and have no money left  I get abused for spending any of the money in our joint checking account.   Even for the very minute thing.  I was called a freeloader for asking him to buy my son and I a drink at an amusement park.  If  I write a check out  even  $20.00 I am told I am stealing his money. and he is going to take my name off the account.  All of the credit cards are in his name only and I have no access to any of them.
If Michael wanted to  he could set limits as far as maybe getting her her own credit card with a reasonable credit limits.  This could be a start with the money spending situation, but his wife has a deeper issue and reason for doing this.  It defiantly sound like she is trying to get even with him for something.  She should be kissing his feet and getting the help she needs. Knowing she has a man that  is putting his concerns on the back burner and her problem in the front and center.
 
November 4, 2005, 8:25 am CST

DONT JUDGE

Before anyone goes judging this couple or family maybe we should turn and look at our own problems that other people do not understand yet we are overwhelmed with.  Mike and Bridgette just like anyone else have issues like any relationship and are seeking help which unfortunately I can say that most of the families in the U.S. dont have the balls to do.   

  

Of course we dont understand Bridgette's problems but at the root of it all, we all have the same issue....communication, we lack it.   Im proud of this couple for seeking help and willing to work through these deep rooted issues, they are both fessing up to their problems and most of us can not even look in the mirror and hoenstly say "What makes me so MESSED UP?" yet they are going out in front of the world to see. We all have it, so why get on her case, shes gone a step further than most of us and im proud of her.   

  

And for all you women saying you would treat Mike like a King your just as bad as Bridgette's spending...You dont even know who Mike is on the inside yet you see his checkbook. 

  

Im proud of Mike as well, how many MEN in marriages can tell the whole world "Ive been a terrible husband and father" We all know at least a few men who wont say that they are to blame as part of the problem.   

  

  

 
November 4, 2005, 8:50 am CST

11/04 A Shopping Intervention

The secretaries and ladies I am working with today said:  to GIVE THAT LADY THEIR NAME so Bridgette could at least buy something worthwhile which is stuff for them.... LOL
 
November 4, 2005, 8:59 am CST

BON BONS

Another coworker asked what the show was about today.... and I said about rich people who sit home and eat bon bons and then go out and shop and spend too much money.  She asked what are Bon Bons?  I said I don't know for sure......
 
November 4, 2005, 9:13 am CST

Money

Having money can be confusing, especially if you didn't grow up with it.  Both my husband and I were very unused to handling money or having fiscal freedom before we started practicing (we are a lawyer/psychiatrist couple). I was from a large working class family and he lost his dad when he was 2. Both of us grew up poor. 

  

In the beginning, we spent more than we could afford and dug a debt-hole for ourselves.  The result was that we had to delay our plans to move to a smaller city, buy a house and start our family until we paid ourselves out of debt.  When I was ready and wanting to start our life and family and I couldn't, it felt like a prison sentence. I cursed the vacations and fancy evenings out that chained us up but it was a good lesson and I am grateful that we woke up when it was still a manageable problem. 

  

Now, we have a financial plan that includes being able to retire and educate our children comfortably .  We figured out what we can spend in certain areas and we for plan those expenses.  I won't say that we only buy what we need because it isn't true but we did make priorities for our life and made some decisions about how we use our income.  We have some simple rules: 

  1. pay ourselves first. Our education and retirement contributions come before anything;
  2. we don't carry debt except a mortgage (for another 4 years:)
  3. we contribute monthly to a tax account, a vacation account, a large purchase account (for vehicles, appliances, tires) and a home repair account.  We know we will have these expenses and get ready for them in advance.
  4. if we can't pay for something with real money, we don't buy it.
  5. we don't go shopping unless we need something.  Wandering around to try and find something to cause an impulse purchase isn't something we do at all.

Money can give you freedom, but debt is a jail sentence.  It really doesn't matter aa much what the total income of a family is, what really matters is what you spend.  The highest income earning family can live in a prison of poverty and debt and a well planned family can live comfortably on a meager income. 

  

 Because we have a financial plan and self control, we can choose to have freedom.  Neither of us work a full case load.  We both work weekdays only, from 9 til 3 or 4.  We both have lots of time to spend with each other and with our children.  At least once a month we stay home together on a business day and play the day away while the kids are at school.  It helps us remember why we got  married in the first place :)  We don't need to max out on earnings because we follow a financial plan and exert self control.   

  

It sounds like Micheal and Bridgette are in a much deeper hole and their wake up happened when they were much older so the remedy is likely going to hurt much worse but it won't get better with time. You both have to bite the bullet and get your financial life under your control so you can get out of the prison you have built yourselves.  Good luck! 

 
November 4, 2005, 10:06 am CST

Poor Pitiful Brigette

It must be nice to deal with your problems through "retail therapy".  My husband and I were going to buy ourselves new bedroom furniture for Christmas, but the refrigerator conked out........... since we can't afford to pay cash for both items I'm not getting new furniture.  Call me a "Grinch" but I think this kind of irresponsibilty should not be the work of an adult.  

 
November 4, 2005, 11:11 am CST

Give Bridgette a break!!!

When I watches this show all I could think of was that was me and my ex-husband.   I tihnk I spent to get attention.  Sometimes it's easy to judge but until you walk in someones shoes.  No matter how perfect her husband looks...you don't live with him.  I'm not saying this is an excuse for what she has done, but he is part of this problem.  I am now divorced and in the process of bankruptcy because there was no way out.  But I have definately admitted to my mistakes in my marriage, but my ex still has no clue how he hurt me.  I am glad to see Bridgette get the help she needs and I wish her the best of luck!  But I hope her husband can see his part in this also, can't wait to see an update on these two.
 
November 4, 2005, 12:27 pm CST

Whoa!!!

 I can't understand why this doctor will not get rid of this MONSTER!!
 
November 4, 2005, 12:27 pm CST

11/04 A Shopping Intervention

Quote From: dousar

When I watches this show all I could think of was that was me and my ex-husband.   I tihnk I spent to get attention.  Sometimes it's easy to judge but until you walk in someones shoes.  No matter how perfect her husband looks...you don't live with him.  I'm not saying this is an excuse for what she has done, but he is part of this problem.  I am now divorced and in the process of bankruptcy because there was no way out.  But I have definately admitted to my mistakes in my marriage, but my ex still has no clue how he hurt me.  I am glad to see Bridgette get the help she needs and I wish her the best of luck!  But I hope her husband can see his part in this also, can't wait to see an update on these two.
GIVE BRIDGETTE A BREAK?  I think Bridgette needs to get a job and make some payments.  If she is spending she needs to be earning and paying.
 
November 4, 2005, 12:32 pm CST

DIVORCE HER

She knows you CANNOT AFFORD to divorce her so she will use you to the fullest!!!! 

The other choice is QUIT YOUR JOB MICHAEL, I bet she will do a turn about face... 

Did you go to medical school to support her spending habits? 

My daughter was married to a Path Dr, I buried her at 29 years old because she wanted a divorce. 

She knew she could clean him out but instead he was smarter than her and pushed the right button s ent her to the right doctors he said for help.  If I did not tell you how my daughter passed on . SHE COMMITED SUICIDE with his gun his father blew his brains out with. 

You doctors think you are so smart.  Here you make all that money but its ashame you cannot even afford to enjoy it.  I DONT FEEL SORRY FOR YOU AT ALL. GO BROKE DUMMY.. 

Maybe you should have taken ACCOUNTING 101. 

 
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