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Topic : 11/04 A Shopping Intervention

Number of Replies: 190
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Created on : Friday, October 28, 2005, 02:25:46 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Are you living way beyond your means? Do you shop for one pair of shoes, but come home with 10 pairs? Bridgette is deep in debt and often spends $7,000 a week on luxury items. She even dropped $25,000 in one weekend! Her husband, Michael, says her shopping is an addiction that's ruining their marriage and family. Find out the one big secret that Bridgette's been keeping from him. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

 

 

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November 4, 2005, 2:51 pm CST

11/04 A Shopping Intervention

Wow! I wish I had that much money to just throw away on shoes! I bet she has a lot of bills to pay off that she just ignores. I try my hardest to stick to  abudget and only get what I need, I have two pairs of shoes that last me a year, sometimes two. I usually get 1 pair of tennis shoes and soemtimes 1 pair of dress shoes, that's it. I have to pay bills, and I always make sure that my children have thing's above me. I don't event hink that she could wear all the shoes she has....she should go through her shoes and thing's that she does not use and sell them at a garage sale, or donate them to others that can't afford to get shoes. Her husband should give her an allowance!
 
November 4, 2005, 2:55 pm CST

Being Grateful for you Blessings

It upsets me to see someone take for grantite  the blessings they have in life.  I have been married twice to men who's first concern was their own needs and wants.  I would thank God everyday if I had a man like Michael, who's goal in life was to give his family everything they wanted or needed.  I worked my entire life and sometimes two jobs, I am now disabled due to the damage done to my body after years of working one or two jobs, keeping our home clean, my child, the two daughters of my first husband (by his first marriage), I raised them, then the two sons of the second husband.  I devoted my life to making a home, feeding and clothing these children, and being the best I could be to my husbands.  I am now disabled, I have my daughter (she is grown), but the husbands and the other children are long gone and I survive on disability and retirement.  I would as I said thank God daily if I had a man like Bridgettes.  She needs to realize what how every difficult life can be and do everything in her power to making a home for her husband and children and stop spending to try and heal wounds that are mostly self inflicted, it seems to me!!!
 
November 4, 2005, 2:57 pm CST

emotion

Quote From: gwenmc

Dr. Phil, 

  

You mentioned that the doctor had no emotion.  I felt as if Bridget (the wife) showed NO emotion whatsoever!!!  She honestly appeared to be on medication.  She was so stiff.  I agree that he was not in touch with his feelings, but neither was she! 

  

This is , as you said, a common problem.  It reinforced the fact that my husband continues to be a workaholic to avoid being a husband.  I will never understand what he is working for and when enough is enough. 

  

I'll be anxious to see what happens to this family. 

  

  

Is BLAME an emotion?  IMO that is the only thing these two people ever showed during this whole thing.  I'm sure as a doctor he has to learn how to seperate his emotions from his work, but he also needs to realize he can't treat his family in the same manner.  Bridgette needs to realize that she only makes herself look bad by dealing with her problems by spending money.  If she is so unhappy with her life, then she needs to take control and either talk her way into solving problems with him or else leave for a better life.
 
November 4, 2005, 3:09 pm CST

Michael & Bridget

I think that Michael got the short end of the stick today. He is frustrated and responds to Bridget's spending (and behavior) by yelling, distancing himself from the family, and excessive working which he openly admitted upfront was because he felt like he had made past mistakes and had not been as good as dad/husband as he could be. I also got the since that he is sincere and willing to own up to whatever and to do whatever it will take. He is also the only one who spoke of love and gave the relationship any hope. On the otherhand, I thought that Bridget was being very unreasonable and evasive. She said she wants things to change...but as Dr. Phil pointed out earlier in the show, she has really made NO visible efforts (or verbal commitments) that would indicate such a change. She never could get off the "I want him to spend more time at home with me/us" kick - why didn't she take any ownership? Good luck to both of you!
 
November 4, 2005, 3:11 pm CST

11/04 A Shopping Intervention

        First of all there is more going on in this"relationship" then a wife going nut's shopping!!! I truly believe that when you are married that the money brought into the marriage belongs to both partner's, but when one is spending like the queen of England it is time to put your foot down.There is many way's to control this issue,first of all cancel the credit card's,keep 1 or 2 card's for emergency only with a very low credit line.I personal feel that this problem is not only the wife's but the husband's as well since this has been going on for 24 yr's!And what have they learned their children that it is OK to spend but not earn?There are no free Ride's in this world and you can have all the money in the world but it won't bring you happiness.They need serious counseling but in my personal option there is no hope for these 2, they are either going to keep living like this till the bankruptcy or the very bitter DIVORCE. 

  

 
November 4, 2005, 3:12 pm CST

Michael

MICHAEL, RUN, RUN as fast as you can.  She is not worth staying with, she does not care about you and it shows.  She is a stone, Dr. Phil while I agree with some of what you said, the poor man is just tired.  He's tired of her being a complete taker, she doesn't want to give to anyone but herself.  She is nothing more than a "germ" she takes and takes until her prey is dead. 

  

Marie 

Atlanta Ga 

 
November 4, 2005, 3:14 pm CST

Bon Bons

Quote From: missjane2

Another coworker asked what the show was about today.... and I said about rich people who sit home and eat bon bons and then go out and shop and spend too much money.  She asked what are Bon Bons?  I said I don't know for sure......
Bon bons are french chocolate candy.  Very rich and wonderful!
 
November 4, 2005, 3:14 pm CST

oh my gosh

Oh my Gosh. I have not seen such a self absorbed woman in such a long time. She is not addicted to shopping. She needs a wake up call. Has ANY of her husband's  hard earned money gone to charity? She needs to spend some time with people who don't have the means she has and learn to appreciate her position in life. She could do SO much and help those who need it. Just to work with people would slow her rediculous spending down. She has valuable resources in her. She  can use so many skills she already has to find worthwhile ventures that would give her a sense of purpose and direction besides deliberatly angering her husband. They lost everything once before, why is she heading the boat in the same direction, this time with her at the helm?  What was learned that was postitive? I am sure there were many things from then they could draw on.The children would also benefit from having jobs. They are helpless right now regarding real world skills but they can develop them. And hubby, cut up those cards and stop playing victim!
 
November 4, 2005, 3:30 pm CST

SHOPPING IS THERAPY FOR ME

I watched the show today.  I can totally relate to Bridget, I am not as bad as her though. Thank God!  But, I do understand where she is coming from.  I shop so that I do not feel my pain.  I get distracted from reality, I realize this.  I go into my comfort zone during a shop spree.  I also have been in debt, and once again I am charging on cards, that I had stopped before.  Did anyone understand why Dr. Phil thought that getting a job was not a solution?  I am told daily to get a full-time job. Because then I will not be so bored.  What do you think? I know that it is a way to escape.  I know all that. But, how do I stop? I am on meds. for depression, because I am in mourning for the lose of my younger sister, and also for not being able to have children.  I do not want to feel the pain, so for just a moment when I shop, I have gone to another place where I am unaware, painless, numb.  Any advise anyone?  Who should I talk to, what type of support or doctor? What to do? My husband has had enough with my spending money, my family are very concerned as to why I do what I do.  Really, I feel nothing, I am completely numb. 
 
November 4, 2005, 3:31 pm CST

A Clue

   When Bridgette made the statement that she didn't think that she loved Michael when they got married (her mother told her to marry him since he was a doctor and would have money), I was surprised that Dr. Phil didn't pick up on her comment and discuss it more.  Maybe Bridgette married just to please her mother and now she intends to get  what her mother promised her Michael could give her - money, money, money.  Dr. Phil  pointed out that Michael seemed numb and emotionless, well, so did Bridgette;  not much animation or emotion from her either. I got the impression that she might be sedated.  Despite all this, I am hopeful because of something I saw at the end of the show when they joined the audience - Bridgette smiled and held on to Michael.  I'm glad the girls are going to participate in all this.  They are  lovely, but they definitely need to experience life in the real world.  And, the daughter who quit school, needs to get back to her studies.  She is so bright and compassionate and could do so much more with an education to open doors for her.
 
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