Message Boards

Topic : 11/04 A Shopping Intervention

Number of Replies: 190
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, October 28, 2005, 02:25:46 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Are you living way beyond your means? Do you shop for one pair of shoes, but come home with 10 pairs? Bridgette is deep in debt and often spends $7,000 a week on luxury items. She even dropped $25,000 in one weekend! Her husband, Michael, says her shopping is an addiction that's ruining their marriage and family. Find out the one big secret that Bridgette's been keeping from him. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

 

 

Find out what happened on the show.

 

More November 2005 Show Boards.


As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

November 2, 2005, 12:11 pm CST

Holy Moly!!

I can't imagine spending that much in a week let alone a weekend! OMG!! Where does she get her money... Actress? What? Whoa! Seems like this gal needs some limitations starting with an allowance $100.00 a week... my spouse and I live on that for OUR fun $ in one week. We have no debt other than the home and one vehicle. How many shoes can you wear honey??? I am a shoe addict myself but I have a limit... I only buy a pair as long as I get rid of a pair also and I NEVER spend more than $50 a month on shoes unless tennis shoes. Whoa, slow down, save your money, looks like you are going to need it to pay off some bills! Yikes. Good luck to you... I know the American way is to borrow, borrow, borrow, but you need to save, save, save. If you can't pay with cash, don't buy. That is the "get ahead" way... "retire early" way... wouldn't that be nice?!?!
 
November 2, 2005, 3:27 pm CST

wow...what is she thinking?!

I cannot believe this woman spends that much money on material possessions! Is she trying to fill a void in her life? It sure seems like it! She should save that money for her future. What kind of a job does this woman, or her husband, make? If she isn't contributing to the household income she should be even more ashamed of herself! I fully believe that it is okay for one spouse or the other to be the only breadwinner in a household, but I also believe frivelously spending the other spouse's income is completely unfair and wrong. It's okay to shop once in a while for items you need or possibly want, but certainly not every day for items you already possess an excess of! That lady needs to get a clue real quick or she's gonna end up in the poor house, then the rest of the country will have to support her!
 
November 2, 2005, 4:50 pm CST

Ex-Shopaholic

I first posted my story in Monday's show, but I think it's better to do it on Friday's. 

   

I personnally can relate to shopaholics since I am a former one.  

   

I am 25. I lived TONS of pressure in my life: Since the age of 8, I battled kidney cancer that lead me to get a kidney transplant, the deaths of my dad, step-mom, grand-parents and aunt.......my mom got a breast cancer (she's ok now) that lead me to take care of her, I was bullied during my whole school years because of scars I had due to my disease... and the pressure every teen girl has: To be successfull, beautiful, smart, fun... even If I did not fit in because of what I lived at the time. I still graduated from high school and college with straight-A's and honors.  

   

I had a lot of money because my dad left it to me when he died. To relieve the whole pressure I was living, I shopped. A LOT. When I lost 70 pounds because of a medicine that was stopped (it had made me gain weight as a side effect), I had to shop again for new clothes. People complimented on my beautiful body and my nice clothes, and I liked it, so I shopped more.  

   

Each time I was living a personnal stress (new job, breakup with boyfriend, fight with mom, etc.) I was going shopping. 

   

I got my first permanent job and at 21, and I soon maxed out my first credit card with a 5000$ shopping spree. I relieved tension I was living at my new job by shopping... again.  

   

I soon realized that this whole shopping thing didn't make sense. So I took a 4 month period off my job to think about what I was doing. In my case, a full-time reflexion was the key.  

   

I asked myself the following questions: Why am I shopping? What do I escape from? Do I really need all these stuffs? Does it REALLY make me feel happy to have these stuffs? What do I think about having 0$ in my bank account the same day I get my paycheck? What do I think about making this amount of money in a year and spending twice as much? Does it make sense having a full-time job, living at your mom's house and having to ask her to pay for your... 1$ coffee because you are broke?  

   

The answer was no, of course!  

   

So I soon found answers to my bad shopping habits and one year later, I have 0 debt...... I pay everything cash, only when I really need something of course. No compulsive purchase. I have a budget for every paycheck, that includes an amount that is put in a saving account. Of course, I still treat myself from time to time with unexpensive things, like a nice supper at the restaurant.  

  

If I want new clothes, I set a budget (always in cash, not credit), I go to less expensive boutiques and I look for sales racks. 

   

I escape tension and pressure by doing sports and watching movies.  

   

Most of all, I STOPPED DEFINING MYSELF WITH WHAT i HAVE, BUT STARTED TO DO IT WITH WHAT  I AM.  

   

For the first time in my life, I can really say that I am happy.  

 
November 2, 2005, 11:33 pm CST

Shop-aholic or not?

I'm currently 19 yo. I always spent too much money in my own life (starting from the day when i know how to spend money). E.g. If I have $100 with me, I can spend $200 (I'll borrow the extra $100 from my friends). I started that habit of borrowing money when I was 13. 

  

I always feel guilty not buying stuff, just browsing in the shop and walking out of the shop without something. Or is that just an excuse for - Buying stuff makes me feel good, but after a while that feeling is gone, I have to go and buy more. 

  

Now I'm studying overseas in Australia. My borrowing money habit stopped when I was 18, because my parents gave me a Credit Card (incase something emergency happens and I need extra money). At first, I have AU$400 allowance from my parents each month + credit card (unlimited). I spend a total of around AU$600/mth. (I don't have to worry about the rent/ utilities fees/ school fees) However, currently I got my parents to raise my allowance to AU$500/mth, because I got into Uni. Anyhow, my credit card debt only accumulates from month to month. I uses cash advance to cover the debt till next month and repeat it before the payment dues, so my parents only pay a non-shocking amount (about $500) each month. A $400 increase in my spending. But I don't feel like I actually bought a lot of stuff. Currently, the total amount in my Credit Card is approx. AU$3000. 

  

Because I know I'll get consequences, so I have been 'controlling' my spending. I believe once if I support my own living, I won't be able to stop myself. I know I can't continue doing this. I want to change to habit, but how? 

  

Is that normal? 

 
November 3, 2005, 10:20 am CST

ARE YOU HAVING A GARAGE SALE IN THE NEAR FUTURE?

DR. PHIL, 

  

I AM AN EX CO-WORKER OF THIS DR. GO EASY ON THE MAN. HE WORKS HIS TAIL OFF. I JUST WANTED TO SAY HI AND TO LIGHTEN YOUR DAY. 

  

WE MISS YOU, 

YOUR DYSFUNCTIONAL FRIENDS IN SOUTH PHOENIX :) 

  

WE COULD HAVE A WHOLE NEW TOPIC FOR POOR DR. PHIL HUH 

 
November 4, 2005, 6:48 am CST

11/04 A Shopping Intervention

Regarding today's show - tell Michael to dump Bridget and come to Maine. I'd love to be taken care of but I'd certainly do my part in contributing to the economic health of my family!! This relationship is sick!
 
November 4, 2005, 7:05 am CST

Does this lady watch the news!

If this lady would turn her attention to helping others (like her husband does) man, she could clean up the gulf. With so many people in this country without homes how could anyone go shopping and spend that much money. 

I have been able to go shopping in the past and buy what I wanted for me and my children. I'm now paying for it and , Lord Willing, it will all be paid off by September 2006. I had a house fire and lost everything. I now live in a travel trailer and manage a campground. I love my job and my house. You only have so much room so I don't need a lot. Another thing that has helped me is my faith. Knowing the God will provide everything I need I look and stuff different. There is a wonderful program called "Good $ence Ministry". It gives you a different outlook on money.  

I feel sorry for this family. There is so much more to life than going shopping. They are missing out.  

 
November 4, 2005, 7:07 am CST

This show is my sister and husband in the flesh

My sister has been married to a doctor for over 20 years. She has spent so much of his money (she does not work) they also are almost bankrupt. It's sad to see how she doesn't see her spending as a problem, but everytime she goes out of the house, she comes back with something...always something. The credit card spending was so bad at one point that her husband asked our father to talk with her about using them. That's bad when your own husband asked his father in law to talk to his daughter about her spending.  

  

She's such a giving person though. She doesn't just buy for herself, but she buys for other people as well.  

  

I wish you could get them on your show, because she needs some help.  

 
November 4, 2005, 7:26 am CST

Common problem

I know a lot of us are saying- "How can she do that?" But I find myself going overboard sometimes too- I will go into Walmart and plan on getting some needed items and all of the sudden, I've spent $200! While maybe that sounds silly, the concept is the same as if I had spent $2000 or $20,000. I was impulse buying and thats what can get people in trouble. With Christmas around the corner, its even worse. Although we always have a great time,  there is so much pressure to buy Doras kitchen at $80 or Cinderellas vanity at $59, or, and this is the biggest thing I've heard- those video games where kids supposedly learn stuff-$60-80! You want your kids to be happy, but those things aren't going to do it. (I had a friend call to tell me she had just gotten her kids (3 kids, 3 systems)each one of those and that they loved them- but it boils down to the fact that they are video games- btw- this friend filed bankruptcy in August and just got new credit cards......) SO good luck to everyone trying to control their spending------
 
November 4, 2005, 7:39 am CST

11/04 A Shopping Intervention

Tell Michael that I would worship the ground he walks on.  i grew up poor and don't believe in spending money on unneccessary items.  I would make him feel like a king that he deserves.   Janet
 
First Page | Previous Page | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Next | Last