Topic : 11/04 A Shopping Intervention

How is gets started 

  Lets be real, most women look for certain qualities in a mate and a physical or emotional attraction is only one  or two of the things we consider. We also want a mate that is successfully employed or at the least able to support us and a family. I suspect all three factors were evident in Bridgete's choice of Micheal. I suspect she spent many long hours on the home front while he finished med school and his internship. He chose to have an affair to reward her support and she reacted in an "over the top" fashion suited to his "crimes".  

    The trouble with being married to a workalcoholic is that someone must maintain the homefront, doing all theemotional and physical  work, while the other is focusing on the work and nothing else. That is where the term  workalcoholism comes from ....work is the only thing that matters. 

   This is a very common problem in marriage. This couple may have been picked cause they are the extreme example of how things can get out of control, when MONEY is the focus of a marriage. In this case he is focused only on making it and she only on spending it. Everything else gradually has faded into the background or is non existant.  

  This couple is so "trapped" by money oriented thinking, and are commmunicating ONLY through the money that there are no victims or perpetrators, unless you want to name money issues. Being the one, the only one, holding down the homefront and the long lonely hours and the stress is like being a single parent. If the only "perk" to being married is the ability to spend money  far too often desperate women, in an attempt to cope and fill the lonely, rejected, stressfilled hours will often turn to shopping.  It is a safe alternative to other counterproductive activities available to a woman wanting to honor her marriage vows.  

    Show me a woman that shops too much and I will show you a man that works or is away from home too much. Men drink and have affairs and a large number of  other wise intelligent and capable women shop. The stores are to capacity on weekends with lonely women, trying to find the "magic key" to get and keep their husbands attention.  

     This goes to the core of our primal instinces as men (goal chasers) and women (hunters/gathers) in addition to societies current  attitudes towards worship of the almighty dollar.  The more you make, the more you spend. This couple is an over the top example of how this kind of thinking can get totally out of control. Both are guilty of excess, and both have interpersonal issues at the core of the problem and how  and why it has gotten totally out of hand. 

   This couple is not as unique, as it seems due to the large amounts earned and spent. Lower the amounts and Bridgette and Micheal   have lots of company. Far too many men egotistically put work ahead of everything and use making money to justify the grossest sins on their families  who are trying to survive emotionally without Dad.  

  He is as guilty as she for the excesses/indiscreations  that are destroying this family. Lay off her for falling into the obvious trap his attitudes set. I suspect he worshipped money, made it the god in their family and she and her children are now guilty of following his "religion".  

   I believe that the man is entrusted with the leadership in the family as God would dictate, but this man chose to make MONEY his God, and they are all paying the price for this immature, poor judgement on the part of THEIR leader.  

He is addicted to the glamor of his job. And the ego gratification he gets from being seen as a "hero" every minute of the day in the ER. Doctors are very flawed people. I feel for his wife. If I were you, Brigitte, I would get the heck out of the marriage. Take all your stuff with you. Your husband does not want to be with you. He is playing GOD with you as he does at work. You bore him. 

Your poor kids. You are all bearing the scars of his addiction and his guilt. How he can blame you floors me.  

How is gets started 

  Lets be real, most women look for certain qualities in a mate and a physical or emotional attraction is only one  or two of the things we consider. We also want a mate that is successfully employed or at the least able to support us and a family. I suspect all three factors were evident in Bridgete's choice of Micheal. I suspect she spent many long hours on the home front while he finished med school and his internship. He chose to have an affair to reward her support and she reacted in an "over the top" fashion suited to his "crimes".  

    The trouble with being married to a workalcoholic is that someone must maintain the homefront, doing all theemotional and physical  work, while the other is focusing on the work and nothing else. That is where the term  workalcoholism comes from ....work is the only thing that matters. 

   This is a very common problem in marriage. This couple may have been picked cause they are the extreme example of how things can get out of control, when MONEY is the focus of a marriage. In this case he is focused only on making it and she only on spending it. Everything else gradually has faded into the background or is non existant.  

  This couple is so "trapped" by money oriented thinking, and are commmunicating ONLY through the money that there are no victims or perpetrators, unless you want to name money issues. Being the one, the only one, holding down the homefront and the long lonely hours and the stress is like being a single parent. If the only "perk" to being married is the ability to spend money  far too often desperate women, in an attempt to cope and fill the lonely, rejected, stressfilled hours will often turn to shopping.  It is a safe alternative to other counterproductive activities available to a woman wanting to honor her marriage vows.  

    Show me a woman that shops too much and I will show you a man that works or is away from home too much. Men drink and have affairs and a large number of  other wise intelligent and capable women shop. The stores are to capacity on weekends with lonely women, trying to find the "magic key" to get and keep their husbands attention.  

     This goes to the core of our primal instinces as men (goal chasers) and women (hunters/gathers) in addition to societies current  attitudes towards worship of the almighty dollar.  The more you make, the more you spend. This couple is an over the top example of how this kind of thinking can get totally out of control. Both are guilty of excess, and both have interpersonal issues at the core of the problem and how  and why it has gotten totally out of hand. 

   This couple is not as unique, as it seems due to the large amounts earned and spent. Lower the amounts and Bridgette and Micheal   have lots of company. Far too many men egotistically put work ahead of everything and use making money to justify the grossest sins on their families  who are trying to survive emotionally without Dad.  

  He is as guilty as she for the excesses/indiscreations  that are destroying this family. Lay off her for falling into the obvious trap his attitudes set. I suspect he worshipped money, made it the god in their family and she and her children are now guilty of following his "religion".  

   I believe that the man is entrusted with the leadership in the family as God would dictate, but this man chose to make MONEY his God, and they are all paying the price for this immature, poor judgement on the part of THEIR leader.  

How is gets started 

  Lets be real, most women look for certain qualities in a mate and a physical or emotional attraction is only one  or two of the things we consider. We also want a mate that is successfully employed or at the least able to support us and a family. I suspect all three factors were evident in Bridgete's choice of Micheal. I suspect she spent many long hours on the home front while he finished med school and his internship. He chose to have an affair to reward her support and she reacted in an "over the top" fashion suited to his "crimes".  

    The trouble with being married to a workalcoholic is that someone must maintain the homefront, doing all theemotional and physical  work, while the other is focusing on the work and nothing else. That is where the term  workalcoholism comes from ....work is the only thing that matters. 

   This is a very common problem in marriage. This couple may have been picked cause they are the extreme example of how things can get out of control, when MONEY is the focus of a marriage. In this case he is focused only on making it and she only on spending it. Everything else gradually has faded into the background or is non existant.  

  This couple is so "trapped" by money oriented thinking, and are commmunicating ONLY through the money that there are no victims or perpetrators, unless you want to name money issues. Being the one, the only one, holding down the homefront and the long lonely hours and the stress is like being a single parent. If the only "perk" to being married is the ability to spend money  far too often desperate women, in an attempt to cope and fill the lonely, rejected, stressfilled hours will often turn to shopping.  It is a safe alternative to other counterproductive activities available to a woman wanting to honor her marriage vows.  

    Show me a woman that shops too much and I will show you a man that works or is away from home too much. Men drink and have affairs and a large number of  other wise intelligent and capable women shop. The stores are to capacity on weekends with lonely women, trying to find the "magic key" to get and keep their husbands attention.  

     This goes to the core of our primal instinces as men (goal chasers) and women (hunters/gathers) in addition to societies current  attitudes towards worship of the almighty dollar.  The more you make, the more you spend. This couple is an over the top example of how this kind of thinking can get totally out of control. Both are guilty of excess, and both have interpersonal issues at the core of the problem and how  and why it has gotten totally out of hand. 

   This couple is not as unique, as it seems due to the large amounts earned and spent. Lower the amounts and Bridgette and Micheal   have lots of company. Far too many men egotistically put work ahead of everything and use making money to justify the grossest sins on their families  who are trying to survive emotionally without Dad.  

  He is as guilty as she for the excesses/indiscreations  that are destroying this family. Lay off her for falling into the obvious trap his attitudes set. I suspect he worshipped money, made it the god in their family and she and her children are now guilty of following his "religion".  

   I believe that the man is entrusted with the leadership in the family as God would dictate, but this man chose to make MONEY his God, and they are all paying the price for this immature, poor judgement on the part of THEIR leader.