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Topic : 08/17 Dr. Phil's Road Show: Newlywed Challenge

Number of Replies: 100
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Created on : Friday, November 04, 2005, 02:39:20 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard3

(Original Air Date: 11/07/05) Dr. Phil takes his show on the road! Newlyweds already on the brink of divorce compete in a series of challenges to see if they have what it takes to work together in less-than-perfect situations. Can the couples find their way around an unfamiliar city with the men driving and the women navigating? How do the men do when they are in charge of their wives' makeovers? They've cheated on each other, have explosive fights and you wouldn't believe the names they call each other. Will their relationships survive the competition? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

 

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November 6, 2005, 8:54 am CST

married and in a mess too!

I am in my 2nd marriage and only been married for 2 1/2 years.  I am 44 and my husband is 33.  We seem to get along great for a few days and then the s*** hits the fan.  It seems like when we don't agree it's world war 3.  He calls me names (something he learned in his first marriage) and then he tells me "If you don't like it here, get the f*** out!"  I feel disposable!  I do EVERYTHING for him... from taking total care of his children.... taking them to and from school, to taking them to their activities, checkign their homework, doing ALL the cooking, cleaning, laundry, yardwork, grocery shopping, errands, taking care of him, packing his lunch, preparing his plate...etc.  He goes to work, and that's it.  I am not working right now, but I do go to school.  When I tell him how I feel about something, if it's not how he wants me to feel about the subject the fight starts.  He has never actually cheated on me, but has gotten on the internet and put a fake profile on there to look at porn.  I caught him and he lied about it, then confessed.  He says he has not done it sense then, but who knows.  Everything we do is about him, his children, his family, his wants... heck we have sex when he wants to!  I almost have to beg when I want it...   He thinks I am being overly dramiatic and blowing things out of proportion.  Lat night for instance, he won a trophy and wanted to put it front and center on our fireplace mantle.  We already had something there, so I said we could put it on the left side of the mantle.  He got mad and threw a fit and put the trophy on his son's dresser and said obviously his trophy doesn't mean as much as my stupid pictures (which by the way, are family pictures).  He also wanted to put his plaque (a winning plaque) on the wall above the mantle, which has a family picture of our wedding, so I took the family picture down, put it where the plaque was hanging, on another wall, put the plaque up, put his trophy on the mantle and moved the family picture off the mantle.  He told me I was a selfish a**-hole and if he gets more trophies he is putting them there and if I don't like it, I can get the fu** out!  It seems like he makes all the rules and I have to like them, live with them, not say anything or get out!  Any suggestions????? Is this a doomed marriage too??????? HELP DR. PHIL AND VIEWERS......       Pickle427
 
November 6, 2005, 9:45 am CST

11/07 Dr. Phil's Road Show: Newlywed Challenge

Quote From: pickle427

I am in my 2nd marriage and only been married for 2 1/2 years.  I am 44 and my husband is 33.  We seem to get along great for a few days and then the s*** hits the fan.  It seems like when we don't agree it's world war 3.  He calls me names (something he learned in his first marriage) and then he tells me "If you don't like it here, get the f*** out!"  I feel disposable!  I do EVERYTHING for him... from taking total care of his children.... taking them to and from school, to taking them to their activities, checkign their homework, doing ALL the cooking, cleaning, laundry, yardwork, grocery shopping, errands, taking care of him, packing his lunch, preparing his plate...etc.  He goes to work, and that's it.  I am not working right now, but I do go to school.  When I tell him how I feel about something, if it's not how he wants me to feel about the subject the fight starts.  He has never actually cheated on me, but has gotten on the internet and put a fake profile on there to look at porn.  I caught him and he lied about it, then confessed.  He says he has not done it sense then, but who knows.  Everything we do is about him, his children, his family, his wants... heck we have sex when he wants to!  I almost have to beg when I want it...   He thinks I am being overly dramiatic and blowing things out of proportion.  Lat night for instance, he won a trophy and wanted to put it front and center on our fireplace mantle.  We already had something there, so I said we could put it on the left side of the mantle.  He got mad and threw a fit and put the trophy on his son's dresser and said obviously his trophy doesn't mean as much as my stupid pictures (which by the way, are family pictures).  He also wanted to put his plaque (a winning plaque) on the wall above the mantle, which has a family picture of our wedding, so I took the family picture down, put it where the plaque was hanging, on another wall, put the plaque up, put his trophy on the mantle and moved the family picture off the mantle.  He told me I was a selfish a**-hole and if he gets more trophies he is putting them there and if I don't like it, I can get the fu** out!  It seems like he makes all the rules and I have to like them, live with them, not say anything or get out!  Any suggestions????? Is this a doomed marriage too??????? HELP DR. PHIL AND VIEWERS......       Pickle427
Have you ever thought of being on the show?  Only one small comment:  Guys have this thing about stuff they win.  I know my Dad whenever he catches a fish.  He carries a picture of this fish everywhere he goes.  He even sleeps with it.  He puts it in the pocket on his chest of his pajamas.  WHY?  I don't know.  I think it's a guy thing.  He shows his fish pictures to anyone who will look. 
 
November 6, 2005, 11:01 am CST

newlywed Game

I can imagine that this first segment of newlyweds with divorce on their minds should be a hoot! A man driving in a new city with a woman as navigator is a crisis ready to happen.  After 41 years of wedded bliss, I can honestly say that this situation is can and will cause emotional turmoil. Let face it, you can't get a man to stop in a gas station when his gas gauge is below the E line. 

Sincerely 

A woman with experience 

 
November 6, 2005, 11:17 am CST

looking to change

My divorce was final this week.  It was my second marriage.  Marriage is a big commitment.  You feel so in love, but eventually all that lust fades away and all you have left is the real person you married.  If you aren't paying attention, the person you married becomes someone totally different.  Both of my marriages were abusive, physically and verbally.  But there were warning signs.  I ignored them though.  Thought that those things would just go away.  I didn't respect myself enough to feel more deserving.  Even if the marriage isn't physically abusive, verbal abuse will destroy one just as fast.  If you love someone, they do not deserve to be spoke to in a hurtful, insulting way...NO MATTER WHAT!  You can never take back what you say.  You can say you are sorry and that you didn't mean it......but believe me, it isn't forgotten.  The scars stay there.  So if you love someone and really respect them.....you won't treat them that way.  If they are treating you that way....Do Not Put Up With It!  

 
November 6, 2005, 11:59 am CST

Run while you can!

Quote From: pickle427

I am in my 2nd marriage and only been married for 2 1/2 years.  I am 44 and my husband is 33.  We seem to get along great for a few days and then the s*** hits the fan.  It seems like when we don't agree it's world war 3.  He calls me names (something he learned in his first marriage) and then he tells me "If you don't like it here, get the f*** out!"  I feel disposable!  I do EVERYTHING for him... from taking total care of his children.... taking them to and from school, to taking them to their activities, checkign their homework, doing ALL the cooking, cleaning, laundry, yardwork, grocery shopping, errands, taking care of him, packing his lunch, preparing his plate...etc.  He goes to work, and that's it.  I am not working right now, but I do go to school.  When I tell him how I feel about something, if it's not how he wants me to feel about the subject the fight starts.  He has never actually cheated on me, but has gotten on the internet and put a fake profile on there to look at porn.  I caught him and he lied about it, then confessed.  He says he has not done it sense then, but who knows.  Everything we do is about him, his children, his family, his wants... heck we have sex when he wants to!  I almost have to beg when I want it...   He thinks I am being overly dramiatic and blowing things out of proportion.  Lat night for instance, he won a trophy and wanted to put it front and center on our fireplace mantle.  We already had something there, so I said we could put it on the left side of the mantle.  He got mad and threw a fit and put the trophy on his son's dresser and said obviously his trophy doesn't mean as much as my stupid pictures (which by the way, are family pictures).  He also wanted to put his plaque (a winning plaque) on the wall above the mantle, which has a family picture of our wedding, so I took the family picture down, put it where the plaque was hanging, on another wall, put the plaque up, put his trophy on the mantle and moved the family picture off the mantle.  He told me I was a selfish a**-hole and if he gets more trophies he is putting them there and if I don't like it, I can get the fu** out!  It seems like he makes all the rules and I have to like them, live with them, not say anything or get out!  Any suggestions????? Is this a doomed marriage too??????? HELP DR. PHIL AND VIEWERS......       Pickle427
I hope that you have noticed by now that this man is using you to be a baby sitter, maid, cook, and whatever else he may need for his selfishness!  Get out now while you can before he beats you down anymore and makes you feel like you deserve everything he is dishing to you.  You need to tell him that he doesn't deserve you and that you will take his advise and get the **** out!  Tell him you don't agree with him and you need to find someone who respects you and will cherish you and his family more than a stupid trophy or plaque!  He is obviously very insecure and wants to make you feel the same way he does!  Don't fall for his crap!  RUN, RUN, RUN!!!!!!!!!  Go find yourself and be single until you meet someone who can prove to you he will put you first no matter what! 
 
November 6, 2005, 12:54 pm CST

11/07 Dr. Phil's Road Show: Newlywed Challenge

Quote From: pickle427

I am in my 2nd marriage and only been married for 2 1/2 years.  I am 44 and my husband is 33.  We seem to get along great for a few days and then the s*** hits the fan.  It seems like when we don't agree it's world war 3.  He calls me names (something he learned in his first marriage) and then he tells me "If you don't like it here, get the f*** out!"  I feel disposable!  I do EVERYTHING for him... from taking total care of his children.... taking them to and from school, to taking them to their activities, checkign their homework, doing ALL the cooking, cleaning, laundry, yardwork, grocery shopping, errands, taking care of him, packing his lunch, preparing his plate...etc.  He goes to work, and that's it.  I am not working right now, but I do go to school.  When I tell him how I feel about something, if it's not how he wants me to feel about the subject the fight starts.  He has never actually cheated on me, but has gotten on the internet and put a fake profile on there to look at porn.  I caught him and he lied about it, then confessed.  He says he has not done it sense then, but who knows.  Everything we do is about him, his children, his family, his wants... heck we have sex when he wants to!  I almost have to beg when I want it...   He thinks I am being overly dramiatic and blowing things out of proportion.  Lat night for instance, he won a trophy and wanted to put it front and center on our fireplace mantle.  We already had something there, so I said we could put it on the left side of the mantle.  He got mad and threw a fit and put the trophy on his son's dresser and said obviously his trophy doesn't mean as much as my stupid pictures (which by the way, are family pictures).  He also wanted to put his plaque (a winning plaque) on the wall above the mantle, which has a family picture of our wedding, so I took the family picture down, put it where the plaque was hanging, on another wall, put the plaque up, put his trophy on the mantle and moved the family picture off the mantle.  He told me I was a selfish a**-hole and if he gets more trophies he is putting them there and if I don't like it, I can get the fu** out!  It seems like he makes all the rules and I have to like them, live with them, not say anything or get out!  Any suggestions????? Is this a doomed marriage too??????? HELP DR. PHIL AND VIEWERS......       Pickle427

Hi there pickle. 

  

First of all let me say that I have alot of empathy for both you and your husband. Getting married is easy. Staying married is hard work.  It is amazing how mean we can be to those who we are closest to but yet so polite to perfect strangers.  Do you think it is possible that your husband feels insecure within the marriage? 

 
November 7, 2005, 4:02 am CST

Pregnancy issues....

OH MY GOD!  1st Barry and Katie..... you're engaged/honeymooning and you are pregnant with someone else's baby?  If you get pregnant you are suppose to accidentally get pregnant with your fiance's baby, not someone else's baby!  (Why didn't you marry the one you got pregnant with?)  This confuses me!  Woah!  Starting out a marriage with someone else's baby....too much.   Tom and Nichole.....  Nichole you tell him to go back to his exgirlfriend!  He gets you pregnant and then doesn't show up for 17 months cuz he's with his ex?  And then cusses you out?  And then wonders why he's not getting sex?  duh?  His ego's too big and he's confused.  Nichole he doesn't deserve you.  Send him back to his exgirlfriend.  You can do better than that.        
 
November 7, 2005, 6:36 am CST

road show

      I just have to say I realy like and relate to the red team.That couple to me seem to have the most potential of makeing a great merrage. If you ever have another show like that Ohh I so want to be on it. My hisband and I would so fail.This is a great show once again.GO DR. PHIL.Realy though The poor red team.You guys are your worst enemy.She just beats herself up and I don't think he knows how to handle it.Keep working at it.I love ya guys.To me your so real.
 
November 7, 2005, 6:52 am CST

Happily Married For Real

  

     My husband and are "newlyweds" also and I cannot even imagine calling him names or having him treat me the way the people on today's show are treating one another. It is a second marriage for both of us and after 5 years together, we are grateful each day to have each other. 

  

     I wish that Dr. Phil would do a show about people who DO get along and have a wonderful partnership as an example as opposed to people who constantly abuse each other. Maybe his viewing audience would benefit more from seeing the RIGHT way to manage a respectful and loving relationship. We have problems like everyone else does but we find ways to handle them. It's no big secret that name-calling and griping don't work in any way shape or form.  

  

     I think that the guests on today's show enjoy conflct and need it in order to feel alive in some way. Personal attacks are not any way to live. I feel sorry for them.  By the same token, I feel incredibly fortunate to have a marriage that works and works well. Our children feel safe and loved when they are around us and hopefully our relationship will serve as a gold standard of sorts for the relationships that they persue.   

  

     Dr. Phil, can you please do a show about the not so secret secrets of relationships that work? 

  

    Sincerely,  

  

Christine Welton of Greenville North Carolina. 

 
November 7, 2005, 6:58 am CST

time for a backbone

Quote From: pickle427

I am in my 2nd marriage and only been married for 2 1/2 years.  I am 44 and my husband is 33.  We seem to get along great for a few days and then the s*** hits the fan.  It seems like when we don't agree it's world war 3.  He calls me names (something he learned in his first marriage) and then he tells me "If you don't like it here, get the f*** out!"  I feel disposable!  I do EVERYTHING for him... from taking total care of his children.... taking them to and from school, to taking them to their activities, checkign their homework, doing ALL the cooking, cleaning, laundry, yardwork, grocery shopping, errands, taking care of him, packing his lunch, preparing his plate...etc.  He goes to work, and that's it.  I am not working right now, but I do go to school.  When I tell him how I feel about something, if it's not how he wants me to feel about the subject the fight starts.  He has never actually cheated on me, but has gotten on the internet and put a fake profile on there to look at porn.  I caught him and he lied about it, then confessed.  He says he has not done it sense then, but who knows.  Everything we do is about him, his children, his family, his wants... heck we have sex when he wants to!  I almost have to beg when I want it...   He thinks I am being overly dramiatic and blowing things out of proportion.  Lat night for instance, he won a trophy and wanted to put it front and center on our fireplace mantle.  We already had something there, so I said we could put it on the left side of the mantle.  He got mad and threw a fit and put the trophy on his son's dresser and said obviously his trophy doesn't mean as much as my stupid pictures (which by the way, are family pictures).  He also wanted to put his plaque (a winning plaque) on the wall above the mantle, which has a family picture of our wedding, so I took the family picture down, put it where the plaque was hanging, on another wall, put the plaque up, put his trophy on the mantle and moved the family picture off the mantle.  He told me I was a selfish a**-hole and if he gets more trophies he is putting them there and if I don't like it, I can get the fu** out!  It seems like he makes all the rules and I have to like them, live with them, not say anything or get out!  Any suggestions????? Is this a doomed marriage too??????? HELP DR. PHIL AND VIEWERS......       Pickle427
In my opinion... I think that the more you give in to him with the "little things" like a trophy, he just knows he can treat you badly and then get his way when he wants at all times... at all costs. Marriage is a partnership... Dr Phil has said that so many times. You are enabling him to treat you bad by letting him get away with the name calling and the tantrums (which is what they sound like to me). Unfortunately, things won't change over night. You both need help dealing with one another. I bet if you asked him to go to marriage counseling with you he would decline saying he doesn't have a problem and blame it on you... "you can go, there is nothing wrong with me, you're the one who needs help". I've been there, to his dismay, he did have issues that stemmed from before we were ever married or together for that matter. We are now divorced. To save your marriage I would get some help as soon as possible. Also, even if he won't go with you, I would recommend going on your own to counseling. It may help you to be a stronger person and get a backbone! Plus, you don't want "his" children to grow up thinking that this is how you treat people and that it is ok. You sound like a wonderful women who needs to be appreciated rather than broke down. Keep your chin up!!! (no matter how many pillows you need to put under it). Good luck to you!
 
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