Topic : 08/17 Dr. Phil's Road Show: Newlywed Challenge

Pickle Honey,  People don't change unless they want to and he doesn't want to.  Make a plan.  Stay in school. Take courses that will teach you to make a good living. Study hard and set a deadline and stick to it.  Don't get pregnant.  Stash away money in a safe place.  Don't sweat the small stuff.  Don't lower yourself to his level arguing over pictures and trophies.  Just look the other  way and remember when he throws his fits that it won't be forever and that you have a plan.  When you have your degree or certificate start looking for a job and as soon as you have a good job pack up and leave. You will be surprised how much you can achieve when you can see a light at the end of the tunnel.  You will be surprised how good you will feel when you do well in school and know it is leading to freedom from the degrading names and treatment.  He is a looser and he knows it, and the only way he can deal with it is to make you a looser too.  Don't let him. Don't loose hope.  Make a plan!

Challenge Doctor Newly Phil Road Show Wed. I didnot know all about this. Tell me some more about it. See you tomorrow Afternoon. Well I had better close now. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaa-

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Dr. Phil and Show Producers and Etc:

This is a GREAT show and topic. I can relate to the show and have many friends who can too, although not necessarily newlyweds. I appreciate shows like this that have wide appeal and  discuss real world situations, addresses tough issues, and appreciate Dr. Phil's genuine concern in making life better for those with this type of need. Wonderful, helpful, relevant!!

Thank you,

'liketheshow'

I can relate to the couple that couldn't get anything right.  I  went through that kind of relationship

for 23 years before I called it quits.  Back then they didn't have the help they do now like  Dr. Phil

and the help you can get now for relationships that are almost destroyed.  I would say that the couple that won the games,  do stand a chance at recovering their marriage.  I will say that I tried to keep mine together to the very end, but it was all one-sided , and thats no way to have a realtionship.  I do hope that all three couples will recieve the help they need, and not break up. It is

better to be single then to be in those kinds of realtionships.  I just wanted to comment on the show, because it hit home with me.  .

This show certainly gives us married couples alot to think about.  I also am a newly wed, but of only 10 months now.  I am in my second marriage, and my husband and I compliment each other perfectly.  Watching this show I imagined us in the same circumstances, and we actually work in all the mentioned areas quite well.  He openly admits that he doesn't know his way to new places, so he easily allows me to navigate; and I must say that I know how to read a map and do quite well at it.  We usually do not grocery shop together but when we do, he makes suggestions that I may not have thought about and they are usually good ones.  In the kitchen we are a great team - as he was a confirmed bachelor before we got married he knows his way around our kitchen and we each take a task that will complete our goal and it works well for us.  We do not argue over money or anything else, we sometimes disagree on things, but somehow we have a wonderful communication skills and we are always open to hear each other and work out a solution.  We don't always agree on everything but we can at least come to a mutually acceptable decision.  I'm not real sure how well he would do shopping for me, but I would definetly trust his makeover decisions and wouldn't worry about them. 

The show was quite entertaining and I believe that these couples will watch it later and laugh at some of the things they did while attempting the challenges you put them through, and I certainly hope that they can learn to work better with each other and to communicate in a respectful and meaningful way to stregthen their marriages.  We all come into our relationships with some sort of "baggage" but the important part is that we made the committment and are willing to abide by the vows that we took, and I wish them all the best of luck!!

Too many people marry these days because they think they'll be happy (or happier) if married. That's exactly why there's a 57% divorce rate in this country.

Many couples wouldn't know the word love, honor, commitment and respect if the words bit them in the butt!

The first two years of marriage for us weren't fun (I didn't have the word "Compromise" in my independent vocabulary and my husband had always lived with his folks). The third year was tolerable. During that year I wasn't happy and hubby was clueless. I almost had an affair with a police officer friend; at most, I did have an emotional affair with him. I told hubby how close I came to leaving him for this supposed friend and we decided there and then to sit for hours and decide what WE needed to do to make our marriage work. We both didn't believe in divorce and we knew marriage wasn't supposed to be easy....anytime something involves two humans, it's not going to be easy much of the time.

That night of talking and crying and asking what eachother needed to be happy changed everything. Hubby gave up the remote and the recliner and the computer (for the most part). We spent time together on the couch watching t.v. together, we played sports together, we made "date nights" and we BOTH compromised on the big stuff. We COMMUNICATED!

That was many years ago (we've been married almost 17 years) and each year our marriage gets better (it's been SUPER for over a decade!). We treat eachother with respect and would NEVER EVER call the other person mean names. We don't insult eachother and we don't let things fester; we communicate and spend time together...quality time.

Marriage is a lifelong committment and a promise made before God. It has its ups and downs and when two mature, responsible people put the other person's needs first, marriage can and will be WONDERFUL.. We are now a family of 4 and life is GREAT. I know that I have someone to support me thru the tough times and someone to cheer for me (and beside me) during the good times.

People need to stay single IF and UNTIL they can be unselfish, giving, humble and willing to compromise for the good of the marital union. God is not very happy these days with us Americans when it comes to committment!!!

Geesh, you have TEENAGERS. They're enough to drive any good parent crazy, even if they're not a part of a mixed family!!!

You two need a game plan. You need to sit down, hold hands, promise not to raise your voices, promise not to accuse and DO tell the other what YOU need from him/her. Kids will play parents against eachother if allowed to (even the GREAT kids), and these kids probably know what buttons to push. They can make you feel guilty easily and quickly turn each of you against the other.

You are now a family unit with teenagers. You've really been a family for 23 years considering you have maintained a friendship that long (that's a very good thing). When you think about all that you've shared over the years, I am quite sure neither of you wants to hurt the other's feelings. APOLOGIZE for what you said and ask your lovely wife to sit down with you to come up with a game plan for dealing with the kids. There has got to be a plan for dealing with all the added stress (and all those TEENAGERS can cause stress:).

The kids are now YOUR kids (both of yours). There should not be mine and hers. Unless the two of you work TOGETHER as a team (as one, as the Bible teaches us), you will continue to have problems. Find out what your wife needs from you with regard to dealing with the kids. Then tell her what you need. DON'T tell her what she's been doing wrong (and vice versa). DO come up with a plan on how to make the family unit stronger and healthier and DO make a promise to try your best NEVER EVER to say what was said (that was so hurtful to her).

If you've been friends for over 2 decades, you CAN make the marriage work and you CAN make the kids come together as OURS (as opposed to mine and yours). I just know you'll make this work; you sound like a genuine, caring spouse (and one who can admit his mistakes). God bless you both.....ALL (even those dang teenagers...can you tell I am a former high school teacher whose hair has started turning gray due to them?:)