Message Boards

Topic : 08/18 Dr. Phil's Road Show: Newlywed Challenge, Part 2

Number of Replies: 99
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, November 04, 2005, 02:45:55 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard3

(Original Air Date: 11/08/05) Dr. Phil's Road Show continues as he puts newlyweds to the test! Three barely married couples on the verge of divorce go through a series of stressful challenges so Dr. Phil can see how they really communicate and work together. How will the women do when changing a tire under the direction of their husbands? Plus, what happens when the couples have to learn the Tango in only 30 minutes and then perform for a celebrity judge? Dr. Phil tells them exactly what they need to do if they don't want to end up another divorce statistic. Plus, big prizes for the Road Show winners.  Join the discussion.

 

Find out what happened on the show.

 

More August 2006 Show Boards.


As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

November 7, 2005, 4:53 am CST

Newleyweds and Short marriages

I for one agree that it seems that some of the men have no self esteem of are not happy with their own life or career and end up taking it out on their wives!  These men all seem to have little patience, though some of the women guests could as well open their ears and listen better.   In my own situation since the communcation sucks, I tend to try and read between his lines!  Does it work, sometimes, and sometimes not! 

  

I seek advice on what to do with a hubby of 6 years who know that he is working for himself and quit smoking a year ago, seems further and further withdrawn from connection to me - continually says he does not care, angry or has something spiteful or disrespectful to say everyday.........its too hard on the head and I am not sure I can continue to play strong one trying to salvage this marriage. 

  

Why do men get cokcy after the get what they think they want and act as if you had no part to play in it..i gave up my freedom so he can have a work van.we have only one vehicle now, feel i need permission to use it and so the saga continues...............i ask viewers whats wrong with men who seem so low on themselves that they turn it all on to their partners and even try to create a wall between wife and her adult child....that is not his...... 

 
November 7, 2005, 7:57 am CST

I 'm confused...

Hi everybody..  I have been very confused lately.. My husband  and I have been married for 4 years.. just had a baby, 5months old .  Already have a 12 years old son from previous relationship..    Everything was fine until  my husband  started to have a anger probleme  with me .   We have fight all the time  if I give my opignon.    But  if I agree to everything his way then it's good..    When He get's mad he always call me  bad names. like  "B" word..  "C'' word  etc...  anything you can think of..     At first he wasn't like that he would just  lose patient easly..   That it  but now since he lost his job after the baby came he  getting worst.. .   He call my other son of 12 years old . lazy ,, coach potatoes ..  I tell him to stop because this is not good for his self- estem.     He take  this  lightly..   I try to talk to him many time make him understand ,  read  books about this..   nothing work ,, the minute he is mad he start again..    He even don't really say he is sorry .   He think  I give him reasons for getting like that ,       What I don't undertand is why he can be the nicest person   in  the day   with stanger  and in close door so disrespectful..   Last time we got  in a big fight he pushed me ,, with the baby in my arms.    That's when I realise !!!    it's getting pretty bad ,   I told him never do that again of I would leave him...    3 weeks after that he called me again names....   IF he love me why can he change.     I love him but very desapointed and have a hard time to forget and forgive him.  He know this hurt me so much  ,, and still does it....      I told him to go in therapy  but he once told me he think that's bull"""'    is there's hope  in this marriage .  Maybe this is because of his lost job....  I hope  ,,   I would feel guilty to leave because of my little baby... who would be without a father.... so young  .    
 
November 8, 2005, 12:09 am CST

I'm Certainly A Candidate For The Dr. Phil Show Too!!!!

I LOVE Dr. Phil so much & watch him every day & these days I feel like I could be on the show.. my life is that screwed up.... My husband & I are married for 3 yrs & we have a beautiful 2 yr old daughter.  We have been together for 7 yrs altogether.  He went away to work this past June & just a month ago he called me & told me that there is nothing between us anymore, he don't miss me & don't love me.  He said that he missed me at first when he left but after a while he stopped missing me completely.  We are separated, to be divorced & when he comes home for Xmas he is packing all his stuff up & going back to the place where he is working for permantatly.  My first reaction to this is that he is seeing someone else but he says he is not (I'll never know) 

  

A couple of weeks prior to this happening he called me & told me that he ran into an old old ex of his at the mall... and he kept saying that when he told her he was married to me she couldn't believe it.  I checked his email (he used to let me do it) & he had an email from her with pictures that same night & it was innocent enough I guess.  I never told him that I seen that email & he would not have known that I even checked it (he checked it first) & a couple of days later he told me not to check his email & changed his password...  He also took out all of our money out of our joint account & closed out the account! Then he tried to change his story about his ex saying that he didn't run into her but he ran into her brother & her brother called her on the phone so they could chat .   For 2 mths prior to these he was telling me that he didn't want to be married & said "why do u think that I was late for our wedding?"  And "joking" that he was going to call a lawyer & get divorce papers sent out to me.. which he didn't - Yet!     

  

When he first told me that he didn't love me & blah blah blah he said that when he comes home for Xmas maybe we can see if we can work it out... now it's a different story - he's coming home & packing up his stuff......  

  

I am a stay-at-home mom (hopefully not for long!) & he totally cut me off & has only sent me $300 here & $400 there over the past 2 mths.  I am home here paying all the bills for us.. He don't want to pay me anything but says that from now on his is sending home money for our daughter only.  I am going to get the job I always wanted & hopefully going back to school in Sept to get a real career.  I am totally hurt & clueless about what happened with him.  He is a totally different person the past 2 mths.. To me it seems like he is seeing someone else.  I didn't do anything wrong - I am hardely anywhere with my daughter.  I practically raised her myself so I guess not having him around wouldn't be much different.  He was never home to begin with! 

  

Anyways.. that's enough bitching out of me!  Anyone have any advice???????????????? 

  

  

Thanks 

  

Confused & Hurt  

 
November 8, 2005, 1:29 am CST

newlywed challange

just a little constructive criticism, have seasoned happily married couple coach them on the fine art of compromise a little give and take could help these couples a lot. and, to show them by example that everyday  the activities of daily living gets easier if you both work together. And feel free to use my fathers great  quote, " it takes a smarter person to think of a better word any one can use cuss words"  Thank you, have a great day  

 
November 8, 2005, 3:16 am CST

What's Really Important??

I agree with Dr. Phil, Everyone forgets whats really important!! For a year (minus 15 days of R & R) I will be cooking meals by myself, taking care of two cars, doing my own grocery shopping, forget about the tango! (Even the horizontal kind) Why??? Because my husband is in Afghanistan. My most enjoyable moments are when I have the pleasure of hearing his voice...maybe I get lucky and he can get on a computer with messenger and a web cam, so I can see him!! Instead of complaining about what people don't have why can't they just cherish what they do have???? I can't wait until my husband comes home so we can share and enjoy everything so many people complain about!!! The good news is we have gotten past the mid-way hump!! YEA!! Be happy...life is way to short! Good luck to everyone...support our troops!  

 
November 8, 2005, 4:46 am CST

ABUSE!!

Quote From: mariejosee

Hi everybody..  I have been very confused lately.. My husband  and I have been married for 4 years.. just had a baby, 5months old .  Already have a 12 years old son from previous relationship..    Everything was fine until  my husband  started to have a anger probleme  with me .   We have fight all the time  if I give my opignon.    But  if I agree to everything his way then it's good..    When He get's mad he always call me  bad names. like  "B" word..  "C'' word  etc...  anything you can think of..     At first he wasn't like that he would just  lose patient easly..   That it  but now since he lost his job after the baby came he  getting worst.. .   He call my other son of 12 years old . lazy ,, coach potatoes ..  I tell him to stop because this is not good for his self- estem.     He take  this  lightly..   I try to talk to him many time make him understand ,  read  books about this..   nothing work ,, the minute he is mad he start again..    He even don't really say he is sorry .   He think  I give him reasons for getting like that ,       What I don't undertand is why he can be the nicest person   in  the day   with stanger  and in close door so disrespectful..   Last time we got  in a big fight he pushed me ,, with the baby in my arms.    That's when I realise !!!    it's getting pretty bad ,   I told him never do that again of I would leave him...    3 weeks after that he called me again names....   IF he love me why can he change.     I love him but very desapointed and have a hard time to forget and forgive him.  He know this hurt me so much  ,, and still does it....      I told him to go in therapy  but he once told me he think that's bull"""'    is there's hope  in this marriage .  Maybe this is because of his lost job....  I hope  ,,   I would feel guilty to leave because of my little baby... who would be without a father.... so young  .    

Verbal abuse can be worse than physical which it seems as if that is what he is resorting to also. I would separate and require him to get help. I understand you don't want to leave because of the baby but it would be worse for the baby to grow up in an abusive household. If he is angry he lost his job I understand but grow up, be a man, find another one, stop the self pity.  

  

Your 12 year old will really be affected by this in later years if you don't do something about it now. You don't want him to treat his future wife like that because that's what he grew up with and that's all he knows. Your son will respect you more if you stand up for yourself.  

  

Your husband pushing you with your child in your arms is a clear sign that he "NEEDS HELP". Again, I think you should find another place to stay until this is resolved, it may get worse!!! You need to think about your children!! Name calling and tantrums are not a positive way to communicate, you need to help your family. You need to protect yourself and your children. Please take the first step and do a separation... it doesn't mean it will end in divorce but if you don't do something now, you could end up worse than divorced. He could really hurt you and or your children. Good luck to you!!!  

 
November 8, 2005, 4:57 am CST

my heart goes out to you

Quote From: ssmith_13

I for one agree that it seems that some of the men have no self esteem of are not happy with their own life or career and end up taking it out on their wives!  These men all seem to have little patience, though some of the women guests could as well open their ears and listen better.   In my own situation since the communcation sucks, I tend to try and read between his lines!  Does it work, sometimes, and sometimes not! 

  

I seek advice on what to do with a hubby of 6 years who know that he is working for himself and quit smoking a year ago, seems further and further withdrawn from connection to me - continually says he does not care, angry or has something spiteful or disrespectful to say everyday.........its too hard on the head and I am not sure I can continue to play strong one trying to salvage this marriage. 

  

Why do men get cokcy after the get what they think they want and act as if you had no part to play in it..i gave up my freedom so he can have a work van.we have only one vehicle now, feel i need permission to use it and so the saga continues...............i ask viewers whats wrong with men who seem so low on themselves that they turn it all on to their partners and even try to create a wall between wife and her adult child....that is not his...... 

The hardest thing people deal with in relationships is that you "can't" change the other person or "make" them understand. Men are not like women, we all know this. Unfortunately, quitting smoking isn't a reason to withdraw from someone. I know it can make you cranky, but it doesn't change who you are and your feelings towards people. It sounds as if he has some issues stemming from deep within himself. I know the road seems endless when you have run out of turns to take when communicating with your spouse. You will soon become so fed up that you will lose the love you once held in such high regard for him. The only thing I can offer in opinion is that you get some professional help. If he refuses to go, I would go myself. It will show you either how to deal with him in a productive way or show you that you are better off without him. Please keep fighting for your marriage but don't get knocked down in the process. If you need to be away from him don't be afraid to leave for the sake of being alone. I once was in a verbal and physically (not saying your hubby is physical) abusive relationship, I am so thankful that I got a backbone and put an end to it. I would rather be alone and happy than with someone and so sad. Keep that in mind.
 
November 8, 2005, 7:30 am CST

Road Show Challenge

Hey everybody, 

  

These couples need to communicate. The women should participate in the husbands hobbies. In the Challege with Changing the Hummer tires. Every woman should know how to change a tire.  

I work with my husband on the car. It could be the breaks or the oil changing . The women got frustrated with themselves and took it out on eachother. 

 The ballroom dancing. I always believe when a couple dances it tells a story. When I danced with my husband I just knew he was the one. We moved well together and it felt comfortable. It cant be ackword. 

  

Thanks for reading, 

Natalie 

 
November 8, 2005, 8:19 am CST

hope for the hurting people

Quote From: trouwvble

I agree with Dr. Phil, Everyone forgets whats really important!! For a year (minus 15 days of R & R) I will be cooking meals by myself, taking care of two cars, doing my own grocery shopping, forget about the tango! (Even the horizontal kind) Why??? Because my husband is in Afghanistan. My most enjoyable moments are when I have the pleasure of hearing his voice...maybe I get lucky and he can get on a computer with messenger and a web cam, so I can see him!! Instead of complaining about what people don't have why can't they just cherish what they do have???? I can't wait until my husband comes home so we can share and enjoy everything so many people complain about!!! The good news is we have gotten past the mid-way hump!! YEA!! Be happy...life is way to short! Good luck to everyone...support our troops!  

it's true, that no matter what problems other people have, it can seem trivial compared to someone else's (there's always somebody dying, lost, etc.).  as a military wife myself,  i respect what a huge sacrifice you (and other families) are making.  it is a huge sacrifice, especially for the children, and also for the spouses.  i also think if these people knew HOW to cherish what they have, they would.  just like you seem to when your husband is home.  i am happy for you that you have a good relationship right now and are able to do that (or at least, look forward to it).  the people on the show have a different experience than you.  we all come from different pasts and bring different strengths and wounds into a relationship.  if it were so easy to just appreciate what we do have, then we wouldn't have such a high divorce rate in this country.  marriage can be wonderful if you are married to the right person (and still hard work), but it can be extremely hard work to get to a better place if you find out into the marriage (usually after children) that you wouldn't make that same decision in a partner.  it is workable, but it can feel like a sacrifice and very painful.  just as others can't possibly comprehend the sacrifices you make, unless they go thru the exact same thing you have....it's hard to fathom other people's situations and trials unless you have been thru the exact same thing yourself.  it's hard to imagine someone who is trapped in negativity?  people should just be happy because life is too short?  if happiness were the only human emotion, it would be hard to get through a lot of life's situations.  even optomistic, healthy people experience pain, loss, negative thoughts, anger, etc.  The difference is a healthy person knows how to cope and to have healthy thoughts as well (easier for some than others).  do you have the exact same childhood, adult, and marriage experiences?   i admire anyone who goes to Dr. Phil, or another counselor, to try to find some level of healthiness and happiness out of life that they can't seem to get a grasp on.  I am glad Dr. Phil offers continued counseling to people and families in crisis.  Sometimes healing can be a long journey.  if there is insight and reaching out, there is hope for love and happiness.  that is why i enjoy the dr. phil show....it is hope based. 
 
November 8, 2005, 11:16 am CST

been there done that and did it again

Quote From: vanessa24

I LOVE Dr. Phil so much & watch him every day & these days I feel like I could be on the show.. my life is that screwed up.... My husband & I are married for 3 yrs & we have a beautiful 2 yr old daughter.  We have been together for 7 yrs altogether.  He went away to work this past June & just a month ago he called me & told me that there is nothing between us anymore, he don't miss me & don't love me.  He said that he missed me at first when he left but after a while he stopped missing me completely.  We are separated, to be divorced & when he comes home for Xmas he is packing all his stuff up & going back to the place where he is working for permantatly.  My first reaction to this is that he is seeing someone else but he says he is not (I'll never know) 

  

A couple of weeks prior to this happening he called me & told me that he ran into an old old ex of his at the mall... and he kept saying that when he told her he was married to me she couldn't believe it.  I checked his email (he used to let me do it) & he had an email from her with pictures that same night & it was innocent enough I guess.  I never told him that I seen that email & he would not have known that I even checked it (he checked it first) & a couple of days later he told me not to check his email & changed his password...  He also took out all of our money out of our joint account & closed out the account! Then he tried to change his story about his ex saying that he didn't run into her but he ran into her brother & her brother called her on the phone so they could chat .   For 2 mths prior to these he was telling me that he didn't want to be married & said "why do u think that I was late for our wedding?"  And "joking" that he was going to call a lawyer & get divorce papers sent out to me.. which he didn't - Yet!     

  

When he first told me that he didn't love me & blah blah blah he said that when he comes home for Xmas maybe we can see if we can work it out... now it's a different story - he's coming home & packing up his stuff......  

  

I am a stay-at-home mom (hopefully not for long!) & he totally cut me off & has only sent me $300 here & $400 there over the past 2 mths.  I am home here paying all the bills for us.. He don't want to pay me anything but says that from now on his is sending home money for our daughter only.  I am going to get the job I always wanted & hopefully going back to school in Sept to get a real career.  I am totally hurt & clueless about what happened with him.  He is a totally different person the past 2 mths.. To me it seems like he is seeing someone else.  I didn't do anything wrong - I am hardely anywhere with my daughter.  I practically raised her myself so I guess not having him around wouldn't be much different.  He was never home to begin with! 

  

Anyways.. that's enough bitching out of me!  Anyone have any advice???????????????? 

  

  

Thanks 

  

Confused & Hurt  

Honey it's plain to see from the outside he is cheating on you. the reason  could be any; not enough spark, hates himself , bored, your "different", his family history,(maybe his parents did this),or he could just be a creep. But he is just shuting down too fast. To me it seams he has found or has a definite possibility of another realationship. In my past i have dealt with this several times. I could talk to you about it e-mail me @ romanangel77@yahoo.com. we can talk.But bottom line if he's not ready to stop the crash the train WILL derail no matter what you do. He needs to be apart of fixing it.
 
First Page | Previous Page | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Next | Last