Quote From: kt0775I am a happily married wife. We have been married for almost 8 years and have 2 boys. We have had our issues but we communicate openly and get over the hurdles. My husband vowed to himself when we were dating that he would never say to me that he would regret. He hasn't 10 years later. My parents had a rocky marriage and I saw thing that I would never do, like nag or volunteer him for something with out him being there. I get my hands on any book that comes around to better myself as a wife or as a mother. We are Christians and I don't say that loosely. We run a christian home with Christ as the head. We aren't perfect but we strive to satisfy the other. I am reading a book called, A Woman After God's Own Heart. One of the challenges that the author asks us to do is to ask my husband what can I do for you today. After a while the husband responds back by doing something for you. Mine is he cleans my kitchen if I am at Bible Study or out with girlfriends.
My heart aches for marriages that are on the rocks. You can't change the husband but you can change your heart and your attitude. He may think you are crazy when you change your attitude from crabby to happy but over time he will respond. My husband and I have our disagreements but we don't fight. If the heat is rising in the room, one leaves or one stops responding to the argument.
God Bless you.
Amen to a good reference, sister. For all you women who may have marriges on the rocks (and even if you don't, it can't hurt) here are some more good reads:
"Power of a Praying WIfe" by Stormie Omaritian
"Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldridge.
Both I've read and both are powerful, as is A woman After God's Own Heart (by Elizabeth George for anyone wanting a copy), and are worth reads whether or not you believe in Christ. Here is the thing, marrige is a partnership. I am about to venture into the work force after almost three years of stay at homeing it for my kids. Why? So I can work with my husband. He is down on employees and has felt he couldn't talk to me because I wouldn't understand his situation. I sacrificed a few hours a week with my kids to be with him and help him. Why? Because I WANT to be his partner. Eve was made for Adam, not as a maid or sexpot, but his "ezer kenegdo" a word meaning sustainer beside him. A helper, companion, compatible partner. We are not meant to be alone or "married singles" when we enter this covenant, we need to be selfless. That is where believing in Christ does help, if you feel you are being selfless and your husband isn't giving, you can get that from the Lord. The thing is, we look for perfection in our relationship that is tarnished by human traits. We base our romance on movies or fairy tales and that just isn't realistic. One wrote that you have to work at being married. IF you aren't willing to do the work, don't go in. And if you are the only one doing the work, that is where prayer helps. So I hope these books can offer insight if you are willing to read them. Remeber, to be successful in marrige (who really wants to fail at that?), you need to be selfless, forgiving and compassionate, all traits of Christ himself. So, as preachy as I may have gotten, thanks to all who beared with it and I hope you realize how important God is in your relationship. I know. It's worked for me and for the lady whose post I replied to.
(Original Air Date: 11/08/05) Dr. Phil's Road Show continues as he puts newlyweds to the test! Three barely married couples on the verge of divorce go through a series of stressful challenges so Dr. Phil can see how they really communicate and work together. How will the women do when changing a tire under the direction of their husbands? Plus, what happens when the couples have to learn the Tango in only 30 minutes and then perform for a celebrity judge? Dr. Phil tells them exactly what they need to do if they don't want to end up another divorce statistic. Plus, big prizes for the Road Show winners. Join the discussion. 
