Quote From: thelotusAlright, I think it is time for somebody who has been there to speak up. I have a mental illness, and made it through a two year college program. (the third year option was too much for me at the time). I moved home with my parents a year and a half ago. It helped me figure things out and get back on my feet, but I still worked. I found something I liked doing, and did it, even though it didn't make much. I paid my bills, and bought groceries, helped pay the bills... all that good stuff. The whole time paying off loans, bought a car, and saved some. Now I'm ready to move out. Sometimes, people (especially grads) need to come home to get ready to move back out, but there is NO REASON why they (we) can't help pay for stuff. If they won't help pay for groceries, don't cook them dinner, (or even allow them to cook their own). If they won't help pay for cable, don't let them watch TV. You have to be tough. I know, cause if I can support myself, anybody can.
Good for you, but without knowing more about the daughter I don't see how anyone can judge whether or not she should have been able to stay in school, is employable, etc. While I agree that she doesn't seem to be pulling her own weight and that her dad doesn't sound like he's holding her accountable for anything, nobody here tell from that post how functional or not the girl is at the bottom of it all. "Mental issues" is a very vague description, and I'm sure you know yourself that psychological problems come in a full range of types and severities.
I'm learning disabled (and what I guess could be called "socially disabled"--I have problems interacting with people, which can make if extremely difficult to deal with professors, school counselors, etc.). I went to a good four-year college and graduated, which was something my parents feared I would never be able to do. I would not have been able to do it without their support. Honestly, if they had been as big on "tough love" as some of my friends' parents, I would not have finished high school and , frankly, I probably would have committed suicide a long time ago. I've learned to compensate for my disabilities as I've gotten older, which is a mixed blessing in that I am more functional, but it also makes it even more obvious to me how different I am, which is painful.
I'm a little offended by what seems to me like generalization of the natures of adult children living at home. We're not all spoiled, whining, sponges. I came back home after college initially because I was having a hard time finding a job that I could live on, and my mother was ill and my father needed someone who could help with the housework that she couldn't do. I've been out of college for five years and still live at home, but I have worked full-time the whole time, paid rent, do housework, run errands, paid for my own personal expenses, etc., etc. I finally have a job that pays me decently and that gives me enough benefits that a couple of sick days won't put me behind, but I'm getting ready to go back to school and, once again, will not really have the money to move out. My parents don't mind having me around but they do want me to be self-sufficient (which is why they are letting me stay if I go back to school). They don't pay my expenses.
I hate the term "Boomerang Generation", especially at a time when everyone is complaining about how much harder it is to earn a living. I was paying $200 out-of-pocket a month for health insurance--I was 27, not overweight, never smoked, essentially never drank, never did drugs, did not sleep around, had no preexisting health conditions, etc.. It was ridiculous. I got a sinus infection the week before a job interview and had to go to the doctor. I didn't even get a real exam--the consultation and five antibiotic pills cost me almost $90 WITH INSURANCE. I had to take an unpaid day off work to go.
As far as I can tell, Jay still does quite a bit of work for his dad, and I'm sure that being Dr. Phil's son hasn't hurt his situation in life at all. If Dr. Phil is really going to talk about the Boomerang Generation, how about some discussion of costs of living and diminished employment compensation instead of just pointing out how spoiled and worthless we all are? I hate to see the "kids" on this show held up as examples of my generation and my situation.
(Original Air Date: 11/09/05) Meet the "Boomerang Generation" -- children who attend college and then move back in with their parents after leaving the nest, sometimes multiple times. -- you can put a period at nest and delete sometimes multiple times. Then, Kirsten, 36, has a great education but has depended on her family to take care of her for the last 18 years, and she's still living at home with her parents. -- change to: Then, Kirsten, 36, has a great education but has depended on her family for the last 18 years, and she's still living at home with her folks. Share your thoughts.
