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Topic : 03/29 Next Generation of Moochers

Number of Replies: 358
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Created on : Friday, November 04, 2005, 02:48:17 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard3

(Original Air Date: 11/09/05) Meet the "Boomerang Generation" -- children who attend college and then move back in with their parents after leaving the nest, sometimes multiple times. -- you can put a period at nest and delete sometimes multiple times.  Then, Kirsten, 36, has a great education but has depended on her family to take care of her for the last 18 years, and she's still living at home with her parents.  -- change to: Then, Kirsten, 36, has a great education but has depended on her family for the last 18 years, and she's still living at home with her folks.  Share your thoughts.

 

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November 9, 2005, 4:00 pm CST

11/09 Next Generation of Moochers

Quote From: starry1168

I'm about to graduate from college and I was thinking of moving back home for a year until my boyfriend and I get married. I plan on finding a job before summer, so if my parents choose to charge me rent I can afford to pay it. My question is this: if I explain to them that the reason why I am staying at home is to save money for the wedding, should they still charge me rent? This is the reason why I don't want to get my own apartment for just a year... I'd be wasting money on rent that could be put into my savings. My other option is to move in with my boyfriend in May (he owns a home so wasting money on rent is not an issue), but I'm sure my parents will say that this is "inappropriate" since we are not yet married.  

  

My feeling right now is that since it is a limited period of time and I will really only be sleeping at home and storing my things in my old room (I'll be working all day, usually eating meals out with my boyfriend, so there is no reason why they need to feed me very often) then this situation is OK. Can I have some feedback from parents with college-age kids? 

  

  

You should pay rent. It doesn't have to be as high as rent on your own apartment. But consider the other expenses of living on your own that you would be saving on; utilities, phone, insurance, taxes. How much does storage cost? You could offer to but your own food to save money as well. Eating out is expensive, whether you do it at work and /or with your boyfriend.
 
November 9, 2005, 4:03 pm CST

11/09 Next Generation of Moochers

 Once again - the 21 year old here.. Just to clarify, I am just living at home until I get my bills paid off, then plan on moving out to a new house.  Its much easier to live at home while making $900/mo of vehicle and insurance payments, plus 80 for health insurance, and about $150 a month for gas...  its just a lot easier to be living at home for free until I can get the cars paid off, and buy a new house...living at home lets me put a couple hundred in savings a month, plus extra for movies, food and entertainment and such..
 
November 9, 2005, 4:10 pm CST

College-educated underclass

Quote From: draperc

 I don't think the boomerang effect is just a result of dispositional factors of either the parents or the kids.  I think I big part of it is that the world is changing; the middle class is thinning and dividing, minimum wage is not anywhere near enough to live on, and college education is no longer something that puts you at a major advantage.  I'm only 23 years old, so I can't go on about the 'good old days,' but my parents can, and I don't always ahve a chance to escape.  Through these conversations, my observations, and what I understand about our culture in general, not everyone has a chance at making it financially.  Going to college doesn't guarantee a job that pays more than minimum wage, it just guarantees a debt.  I was lucky that my parents paid for my college education, but I'm getting ready to go for grad school loans, and I'm watching my friends with college degrees struggle to survive above the poverty level, and I'm horribly scared to go in debt--even for a PhD--because there's just no way to guarantee that the job market is going to allow for me to pay off my loans, no matter what my work ethic and dedication.  I believe this is the reason for the boomerang effect, and I think it's going to get a lot worse before it gets better.
I can relate -- I have a B.A. from an excellent college, and have never made more than $24 thousand a year. I was going for my Masters, but could only afford it by working full time at the university I attended. I had to leave before finishing. Education in the traditional sense is currently, I think, a luxury. I'm eternally grateful that my parents paid for my undergraduate degree, because I would now (at 42) probably still be paying for it if they hadn't. I even took my college degree OFF my resume when I first started job searching, so that I would not be rejected for being "overqualified." I think people should take a year after high school to test the job market before they commit to going to college, or think it will be a sure fix. It may be as much of a waste of money as anything else they buy that they can't afford.
 
November 9, 2005, 4:11 pm CST

moocher or not?

for years i have been working on my oldest son (21 yrs old ) to at least hold a parttimejob nothing i have done has helped even kicking him out only sent him to his dad's ( whom i've been divorced from for a year now for abuse of me and drugs etc.) and i feel like i will continue to tell him things he doesn't wanna hear (and at the same time turn a deaf ear to the whining about this that and the other)  i have given him the tools to help himself given him resources and even volunteered to help make all the calls.And yes i have gotten suckered in twiced to letting him back home in the past though 

In his case it boils down to he resents authority doesn't want to go by other ppl's routine and is digging himself in ! 

He doesn't seem to understand that he has to go through(what he calls) the unpleaseantness of having a boss until he becomes one so i let it go ! 

I will help him if he helps me and if he helps himself otherwise i have ( and it was not easy) told him that any whining he does will fall on deaf ears. 

It will likely take a while yet before he gets what i was trying to teach him and i know he is not dumb so to all of you who's kids are just lazy,manipulative or just think they are entitled ...OPEN YOUR DOORS AND CLOSE THE FRIDGE ! It isn't easy though in the longrun your relationship with them will get better ! Free yourselves they will not go under for long! 

                                                                                                           "charmed" 

 
November 9, 2005, 4:18 pm CST

The Princesses and The Prince

WHY are these "children" so PROUD of themselves? The first three. It seems all three of them have this...airy attitude, like they're from another planet. There shouldn't be a "chore chart" on the fridge, the princesses and prince should be DOING the housework. Mum and dad have already raised them once, it's time for the royal children to look after the parents.
 
November 9, 2005, 4:19 pm CST

should Parent's charge rent?

Quote From: starry1168

I'm about to graduate from college and I was thinking of moving back home for a year until my boyfriend and I get married. I plan on finding a job before summer, so if my parents choose to charge me rent I can afford to pay it. My question is this: if I explain to them that the reason why I am staying at home is to save money for the wedding, should they still charge me rent? This is the reason why I don't want to get my own apartment for just a year... I'd be wasting money on rent that could be put into my savings. My other option is to move in with my boyfriend in May (he owns a home so wasting money on rent is not an issue), but I'm sure my parents will say that this is "inappropriate" since we are not yet married.  

  

My feeling right now is that since it is a limited period of time and I will really only be sleeping at home and storing my things in my old room (I'll be working all day, usually eating meals out with my boyfriend, so there is no reason why they need to feed me very often) then this situation is OK. Can I have some feedback from parents with college-age kids? 

  

  

not only do i think they should charge rent they should have a rental agreement with the kids. 

I know not all kids take advantage so i don't think they would have a problem with the suggestion . 

and if you feel like that about not eating there very often then i think you should pay for your meals 

and any other incurred expense as you would anywhere else ! 

Even though i didn't get the chance to do that ( and i didn't say that in my other post) I know i should have . MY Mom had no problem doing that we all have to live and eat. I hope that helps you out in making the best decision for yourself and it will help in the future. 

                                                                                                                         "charmed" 

  

 
November 9, 2005, 4:20 pm CST

Actually, I have

Quote From: gwutah

 Please!

Have you checked the want ads lately? There are more jobs listed than when I returned from the military in 1966.

There is hardly any jobs anymore that pay more than $5.15 an hour, unless you count all those "work from home" jobs that are more than likely bull.  You try finding a job in a place like I live, but, judging by the date you are quoted as typing, you are probably retired and living off of Social Security that I helped to give you when I did have a job.  So what would YOU know about it.  I think that a lot of the trouble is that there are more people than there are jobs and that people in the stage between highschool and college are suffering titles like "mooch" while they attempt to scratch out a living in our failing economy.  And college tution keeps going up and up, making it impossible for people like me to go to college, forcing me to work minimum wage jobs, and forcing me to throw all my money away on rent, bills, gas, etc. 

And now that our Colorado government is going to keep all the excess taxes that they have raped from me, I am seriously thinking about throwing myself off of a bridge.   

 
November 9, 2005, 4:21 pm CST

11/09 Next Generation of Moochers

After reading more postings, if my parents would kick me out right now, I'm not sure what I would do.  I do spend money stupidly, but have never had to have my parents pay a bill of mine (since i was 16) I make about 40K a year, which is why I will pay my vehicles off this winter, and hopefully move out in summer... But if they were to kick me out now, I don't think I could foot my car payment and a $2000 house payment... I think its smart for me to stay at home until my toys are paid off...
 
November 9, 2005, 4:25 pm CST

24 Year Old Moocher

I have a 24 year old son that cannot or will not hold a job for any amount of time. He gets me totally frustrated to a point I finally blow up at him and tell him to get out. I have given him many chances and time lines to get a job or get out. I have kicked him out 3 times and he stays out and seems to get things in order and then something happens and next I know he is back here with me. It is so unfair to come home at night and find him in front ot MY big screen tv playing sony playstation. He says he is looking for work but I don't know when that is. I feel guilty when I get mad at him. He is the middle child and has had some health problems arise that I have taken on as my fault for whatever reason. His health is not a reason to not be working and taking advantage of me though. He has seizures but they can be controlled. I also feel responsible for making up for the time his dad has not given him. I keep making excuses for what I do and what he does ..but it has to stop somewhere!!!
 
November 9, 2005, 4:31 pm CST

UNBELIEVABLE!

This has got to be the first time I actually couldn't wait until the end of the show to post a message.  I cannot believe these kids!  Shair and Byron deserve so much better.  These kids seem ungrateful, immature and lazy.  They need to learn to be responsible, and it won't happen in the current situation.  Moving back in and not contributing is bad enough, but coming with your spouse and kids, lock, stock and barrell, is inexcusable.  Maybe the parents enabled this behavior, but, now they know it, and they need to stop feeling guilty and boot these people out of their home.  How those ADULT children live with themselves is totally beyond me.  This show made me sick to my stomach.
 
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