Topic : 03/29 Next Generation of Moochers

I agree with the people who have expressed the difficulties for young adults of covering costs such as: paying rent (here in Minnesota $650/mo), food, $350+/mo, Utilities/phone $230/mo., health insurance/other health costs: $180/mo., transportation car payment/insurance/tags: $250/mo., clothing/uniforms/shoes for work $85 mo.,  student loan payments $100-200/mo.; Total: 1615-1945/month, and I'm probably leaving out something.  Median wage in this town:   $11/hrX160 hrs of work per month=$1760.    This means a monthly deficit of almost $200 and nothing left over for anything extra, like socializing with friends, buying a pizza or going out to a movie/getting a DVD, buying makeup, toiletries,etc. 

Most young people DO share housing expenses, and that helps, but you can see how it is a challenge to save up for buying a house, and God forbid that anyone should get pregnant and have a child - a nightmare of increased expenses and getting further and further behind.  A recent survey of University of Minnesota unionized clerical and technical employees (avg. wage - @$16.00/hr )discovered that a huge percentage of those people are using credit cards to buy groceries or pay for medicine costs for family members, and feeling further behind, racking up that personal debt that crushes so many into bankruptcy.  How can we promote the "ownership society" when young families aren't making enough to have children, much less to own property? 

I did not get to view all of todays' show, but I do agree that our kids of today are not as prepared as we were as kids. We knew that when we finished high school that we were to go to college, get a job and move out and take care of ourselves. We did not know any other way.  

My son for instance is 20 years old is in his 3rd year of college, living at home, working full-time and can't seem to make ends meat. Excuse me, but it is time for him to go out on him own.  

My husband and I struggle with this, because we feel that he may not continue on with college if he has to pay rent on an apartment. I feel that if he so chooses that is his choice.  

He has his privleges, he comes and goes as he wishes. He does his own laundry. We pay the house expenses. We buy the groceries, pay all utilities, but he never offers.  

I guess my confusion is when is enough? 

He works the night shift 5 days a week, goes to school during the day, comes home and sleeps when he can. He does not help around the house, because in actuality he does not have time and when he has free time he is pretty much sleeping.  He goes out for fun when he can on weekends. He has gotten himself into financial debt his first year of college(credit card) and is working to pay this debt off. I admire him for that, but my struggle is, with him at home and not having to pay his own bills,(ie: rent, utilities,food,payments) should we continue to allow him to live at home or are we hurting him more by allowing him to live here. 

We see him spend his extra money on play things, or him going places with friends, which I know he needs to do some of that to vent, but when we don't see him save  his money and he continues to spend it unneccessarily what are we to do? 

I know I sound rambling, but I recently gave him a time limit. I told him that during his christmas break he must find a place of his own. He needs to find out what the real world is all about. He is angry at this, but I told him that he has no respect for his parents house and he thinks he ows us nothing.  I don't expect him to owe us anything, but respect! Clean up after yourself, be a part of the family, participate with the family  when he can and offer assistance when he sees the need. 

He just wants to come and go and not be bothered. He keeps his room a shambles, he hardly ever cleans up after himself(leaving dishes out). He constantly says he has no time? 

I struggle with what to do and how to offer suggestions to my husband. He is afraid that he will drop out of college and work full-time to pay his way if we give him an ultimatim. I feel that he needs that ultimatim. We did it and we did fine on our own. I think he needs to too! 

I could use some advice. 

Most of what I have read about Asperger's was concerning children.  My seven-year-old's developmental pediatrician  suspected  that he might have it because he started reading at 2 1/2 and was obsessed with letters as a baby and the "little professor" description kind of fit and he had some motor delays.  But after she talked to him she said he did not have it because he is extremely social.  In fact I would even call him socially gifted because he picks up on things I don't notice about people and I think this is one of the reasons he is a good actor in our local musical theater.     We had to fill out information about family members at the developmental pediatrician's office and she thinks my son's 31-year-old half brother might have this but I couldn't find much info about adults with Asperger's.    I was wondering if it might have something to do with his problems keeping a job and being content to live with other people and not wanting to do anything but stay on his computer.  He also doesn't seem to care about personal hygiene and my husband has to remind him to take a shower.    My stepson is so extremely smart that I have trouble understanding how he could forget to do very basic things like picking up coffee cups in his room that have been left there for days.   The computer just seems to be the most important thing in his life.      

He is working now making very good money but I worry that when he moves out there won't be anyone to remind him to keep himself clean and take care of himself.    But he just can't stay with us much longer.     

Most of what I have read about Asperger's was concerning children.  My seven-year-old's developmental pediatrician  suspected  that he might have it because he started reading at 2 1/2 and was obsessed with letters as a baby and the "little professor" description kind of fit and he had some motor delays.  But after she talked to him she said he did not have it because he is extremely social.  In fact I would even call him socially gifted because he picks up on things I don't notice about people and I think this is one of the reasons he is a good actor in our local musical theater.     We had to fill out information about family members at the developmental pediatrician's office and she thinks my son's 31-year-old half brother might have this but I couldn't find much info about adults with Asperger's.    I was wondering if it might have something to do with his problems keeping a job and being content to live with other people and not wanting to do anything but stay on his computer.  He also doesn't seem to care about personal hygiene and my husband has to remind him to take a shower.    My stepson is so extremely smart that I have trouble understanding how he could forget to do very basic things like picking up coffee cups in his room that have been left there for days.   The computer just seems to be the most important thing in his life.      

He is working now making very good money but I worry that when he moves out there won't be anyone to remind him to keep himself clean and take care of himself.    But he just can't stay with us much longer.