Topic : 03/29 Next Generation of Moochers

You should ask questions before you make an assumption 

Those were credit cards my husband had maxed out before we had even met. 

We were paying the minimum balance due on each of them. I went into our relationship with NO bills except a 200 dollar a month car payment. 

After 5 years of getting no where paying the min. due we borrowed a lump sum from HIS parents to pay them off and to save money by paying them on a home equity loan with lower interest rate. 

I do not live beyond my means. Thanks for your input HOWEVER you ASSUMED you had all the info when clearly you have no idea what you are talking about. 

You should always gather your facts before putting someone down. 

Tammy 

I've read several of the replies in this topic, but by all means not all of them. 

Some people were offended by the title of the show.  Well, these featured people ARE moochers.  To not even be helping with the bills and upkeep of the home their parents own...that's shameful.  The fact they feel no shame about that is baffling. 

But as someone pointed out, not all adult children living at home are moochers.  There are numerous reasons why they may be doing so...just like there are numerous reasons human beings do just about anything they do.  And honestly, I don't know why other people who are not involved in the situation would give a dippity darn whether or not someone is living with his or her parents.  It enrages some, which I don't understand as those some are not paying the others' bills and are not being hurt in any way by it. 

If parents want their adult children gone, they should take steps to evict them.  If they need help for whatever reason, other family members should help deal.  Otherwise, if the parents and the adult children are both fine with the situation, everyone else needs to mind their own darn business about it. 

I have the feeling it won't be too long before two and three generations are living together because it's the only way they are going to survive.  It's becoming harder to make a living, and things like pensions and SS are disappearing.  Including myself, college grads are emerging from college with student loan debt and landing $10.00/hour jobs.  It's not "losers"...it's lots of degreed people.  It's a sad situation, and I'm sure many adults and their parents are rethinking how smart it is to be in separate households. 

I don't care if adults live with their parents.  It doesn't affect me in any way.  Better that then them sucking out of the welfare system on my tax dime! 

Whats happening in the world today. 

So many terrorist moochers and runaways. 

Half the world starves and lives in poverty. 

The other half indulge in every novelty. 

Terrorist who think the do what god selected. 

Boy are they in for a rude awakening when they get rejected. 

Moochers over indulged and oddly there neglected. 

Runaways neglected and often over corrected. 

Greed and poor management by those elected. 

What happened to good manners and being fair. 

Just saying please and thank you showing care. 

So many think there owed they don't share. 

Bringing disharmony that lingers in the air.  

composed by me Bill Dempster 

I did not mean to ASSUME anything, I was clearly going on what you posted.  I was not putting you down, I am not that type of person. The point I was tring to make is that there are a lot of us out there that do not have that kind of income coming in every year and some how we make do.  

Any one that can calculate simple interest will tell you that you will never pay of credit cards by paying only the min. payment.  I live by something that my grandfather taught us when I was a little girl, If I can't pay cash for it (other than a home) then I don't really need it. 

Once again, I clearly did not mean to offend you. I am happy for you that you were able to get your debt under control.. good for you!  HOWEVER there is a large number of adults that still look to there retirement age parents to fund their lives and to bail them out everytime the going gets tough,and I think that is sad. 

Jen 

That was a REALLY good deal for you and your husband.  But what happens if you and your husband split up, or he loses his $100,000 a year job and you guys can't pay??  I'm a foolish parent who stuck her neck out when one of my own kids married a guy with $30,000 worth of credit card debt.  Fortunately I didn't have to use my home as collateral for the loan, but when they broke up SHE couldn't afford the payments and HE went back to running up even more credit card debt.  End of story is that I'm out about $25,000 of MY hard-earned money.  My daughter had good credit and savings and every intention of paying me when we made the deal, and he was ordered to pay the loan in the divorce settlement, but it's like trying to get blood out of a turnip.  I hope his parents can afford to eat that loan if they have to, because it's their home at risk now - not yours - if something happens to YOUR life.   At least in your case it's HIS parents that may get stuck, not yours, and you can tell yourself that it wasn't your debt.   

I can relate because I too, live in NC. I am pushing 40 and unless my situation changes in a matter of weeks, regarding employment, I too will be forced to leave the city in which I live and live with my parents. I've not lived with them since I was 18 and never had a problem finding a job...until now!  

PERSONALLY, NC appears to be a "networking;who you know" state when it comes to issuing jobs that will provide one the opportunity to live on their own. I know because I've seen and worked with these people first hand;no experience, no college degree, or proper background for the supervisory or managerial job they have that allows them to make the big bucks while everyone else does the "dirty work" which of course, they are NOT required to know(that's what YOUR training manual is for). I've seen too many students go to college(drink and party their way through as well as get the sneak peek test to have the awesome GPA), graduate and then get a big executive/corporate/supervisory or managerial job only because its who their parents know, etc. 

I graduated in the early 90s from a technical college at the time, specializing in cutting edge computer information. Despite doing well and with no kind of help from the school's job placement center, the only kinds of jobs I was hired or considered eligible for were ALL customer service. These of course require no kind of experience and minimal education. Unfortunately my resume is one that "screams" customer service rep for life because those are the only kind of jobs I've ever had.  

Because of  congenital heart disease, it appeared those kinds of jobs were too stressful for me(I was internalizing it and it showed up elsewhere..with me constantly passing out and almost dying). My doctors ordered me to find another type of "career" or else my life was just as good as over.  

I finally landed a job allowing me to financially take care of me and my parents in "CORPORATE AMERICA" . However I came to meet the people I mentioned in my first paragraph. I was "fool" enough not to realize that the job I took, was one nobody wanted and it had been open for over 1/2 a year. Nor did I realize(until it was too late..2 yrs later)that I was being "used" only to help train people and share the manual I made that helped our department locate information quickly and efficiently. I learned this when another associate(male)was hired for our other region and bragged about himself not passing the required typing test nor having the background or experience required for the supposedly same job. Of course it really wasn't necessary because he became the NEXT supervisor for our department in less than 3 months of employment. From day one, he and everyone else called me everyday numerous times to "help" them or had their  "workload thrown on me in addition to my own". The associate in his region who'd been with the company for yrs(10+)and took this position as a "step up" learned she was going to be his assistant. We both challenged this with HR. They let us know we had a valid case and such discrimination/unfairness was not going to be tolerated. The day before our meeting, she and I were both in meetings happening simultaneoulsly by our departmental managers about our "downsizing"(no..insubordination is probably somewhere in our files..only because we refused to be continually taken advantage of without compensation) 

I was unemployed and since I could not find a job, went back to school and completed a 4yr degree with several minors. I knew then I would not have a problem finding a job or financially "taking care of myself".  

That was over 3 yrs ago now. I've had my resume profesionally done from 4 different sources and despite my wonderful GPA and experience, I have NOT found a job. I'm either over qualified or underqualified. 

So I love children and it was suggested that I try to get a job in the school system(that definitely is a "who you know ONLY field). I have been denied "lateral entry" because of what my degree is in according to NCLB. All of the teacher assistant positions are filled by "Mothers" who now are complaining because NCLB is making them have to go back to school to get a degree(a lot of lead teachers too had to go back because they too only had a high school diploma). 

 I'd already started a Masters in Elem Ed but had to quit because of the expense and the fact that the work required happens of course in schools. At the time, no school system would hire me so I could not afford to be without income. I got a job with a company providing services to schools but that is only "contract" based and not permanent. It was the only job I could get at the time and one I still have(yet we have no work) 

The whole time my parents have been helping me financially. I hate it and what its done to them, their sacrifices and our relationship. We also felt that the part of the state I live in would provide the better job opportunities and cost of living.  

My biggest dilemna is I can not afford to move back home to the part of the state in which they live because this is the only part of the State I can live in to receive the reduced medical care I need in order to stay alive and healthy due to my numerous health issues. I have been denied Medicaid(I still have a car, etc)and disability(I can still walk around)several times. My health issues affect my job attendance as well(the need to have weekly lab work done, doctor visits, etc).  

Nonetheless people suggested I could "get in the school system" by substituting like many others did. I was offered a "temp" position in the school system by a principal who did NOT tell me the job would be too physically and mentally challenging...even for a healthy person. I figured this out the second day when one of the developmentally delayed children kicked me in the stomach and almost knocked the wind out of me. These were "NOT" the kind of children I believed I was hired to help educate.  

Despite me substituting, applying for every job available, my "awesome grades" and being so "wonderful" with the kids, its been almost 4 months now and I still don't have an assistant or any permanent job in the school system. What I've come to learn or feel is no school wants to hire me but only call me to meet THEIR needs.  

All of the schools I've been too all say the same "rave reviews". What I don't get is if I'm so good and they are confident in knowing a "good" teacher/great sub will be in place when their regular teachers decide they need break or just don't show up; why not hire me! Someone suggested they can't afford to..after all..who would they want to call when they need someone to fill in for any grade or job..but me! If they hired me, all that is lost and I'd only be stuck in "one capacity"/classroom and only certain teachers/students would benefit as opposed to what they now have in me working as a substitute. 

Meanwhile, I have not been "putting" all of my eggs in just that one basket. I've applied to every non-profit, medical, etc, etc. company there is within my "health covered area" and all have declined me.  

I can't blame my parents for tireing of helping me financially because they too are about to financially go under just by helping me. They have to "cut me off" at some point and I don't have a problem with that. The only thing I hate is my inability to take "any job" due to my health limitations. 

The last thing I want or need to do is move back in with them because my mother is verbally, emotionally and has been at times, even physically abusive to me. She has no respect for me despite my age, nor the many times I financially bailed her out without my father knowing it. Despite the fact that I'd always been there for them financially when I could(unlike my sibling)and take care of them in many other kinds of ways. I've had enough of the roommate deals because they've all d succeeded in "burning" me, including my own sibling!" 

My mother(not my father) believes I'm not trying hard enough to "get a job". I told her, knowing that I'd have to come back just to live with her, that's incentive enough for me to "beg for a job" because I can't imagine living daily with her when she is who she is to via the phone now!  

I also know what I see is true for me.. I can't make people hire me and I know my work history(spotty with the unemployment gaps or not more than 2 yrs with a company)does not help. I've been a part of 3 downsizing since the 1990s so what the person said about NC and jobs when it comes to companies is true. I know because I've lived it and so many others as well. Those by the way, are the only jobs I've had as well. 

I'm trying not to become depressed. I know others may still want to consider me a "moocher" but I know that I have NO control over my circumstances. I've gone beyond broke with mailing resumes. I've spent so much time filling out applications, both in person and online as well as attending interviews, etc with these high gas prices.  

I've put the "word" out at every school I sub at as well as talked to as many principals/assts I could regarding my availability and need. I've told everyone I know that I'm looking for and need a job...still I have no job! Every week, I receive at least 2(or more)rejection letters.  

I do want to work(I love working and having money). I do want to take care of myself and not live above my means. I love living on my own. I just don't know how its possible for someone in my situation and here in NC..not without knowing the right people..and I'm not there yet..obviously.   

Unfortunately for me, I can't afford to move to another state..even if I wanted to! 

I feel so hopeless and so helpless! 

These are not excuses, these are truths! All comments are welcomed!