Topic : 03/13 Infidelity Aftermath

We already have children.  I had 2 children from a previous marriage and we now have one together.  His first child. 

Once he realized I had checked his email and saw what he was up to I guess he figured it woud look suspect if he changed his password so he hasn't.  But I still go in there from time to time it's what I realize is that if he gets an email from one of these friends, he replies to it and deletes any evidence of it immediately.  Or he's calling them on his breaks at work.  It's really frustrating.  I don't know that I believe he's sleeping with them because none of them live in our town or state for that matter.  But I've read in his emails where he made plans to meet them when they come to town or nearby.  The fact that he will make these plans and not inform me bothers me. 

Then he lies about the nature of the relationships with certain ppl.  He described one person as being his "best friend".  At first I believed it.  She lived 2 doors down with her husband and thought it was innocent although suspicious because she lived 2 doors down and she never came to our home nor did we go to hers.  They work together and we went to a Xmas party at their job once and we were seated with her and her husband.  He told me they were just friends.  Her husband's expression told a very different story.  I watched his expression each time my husband said something and he looked like he wanted to kill him.  Clearly there was more going on here.  Then one day I was on the computer and discovered a picture of him and her.  A pic taken at a photo studio.  Not the kind of pic or pose "friends" take.  This was a "we are a couple pic".  I confronted him about it and he lied again.  It's funny; I can always tell when he's lying or told a lie because he tries to atone for it via an expensive gift.  Very transparent. 

I really wonder if he thinks our marriage will last with this kind of BS between us. *smh* 

I'm a little disappointed with how the show turned out today. I understand that Dr Phil needs to treat people how he would want to be treated, but nearly everything Albert said was to put him in a better light, or it was an outright lie . 

"i only kissed those women" ... yeah right! 

I would have told him to shut his mouth as soon as he started talking. I would be absolutely humiliated if i was Cammile, to go on the show for help, and here is my husband lying his ass off in front of the entire world about the things he does behind my back! I think they could definitely make it work because they obviously have a lot of love for eachother. But, "immature" was such a weak word to use. Albert obviously misses his youth and thinks he can do that kind of stuff to his wife because it means he's sexy and attractive. If i were Dr Phil i would have let him know disgusting he truly is! He didn't let the red haired woman, Michelle,  off so easily when she was doing the same things in her marriage a few episodes back! 

As for Chris, he should get the hell away from Danielle. He's too good for her, and in my opinion she's just a bomb waiting to happen again, again, and again. She has no respect for Chris, whatsoever! He has a duty to his children to leave her . His children need to learn that you don't let people treat you like that.  

Chris - YOU'RE SO HOT! You're sweet, and have a lot of respect for the one you love. Share those qualities with someone who understands  and appreciates the importance of them!  

I'm hoping someone out there in email land can give me some helpful advice. I am a strong black woman who vowed that she would never take having her husband cheating on her and was really very impatient with women that I know that have stayed with her men after finding out that the had been cheated on. You know the saying that if you think your man is cheating on you then he is, well I think he is. There has been one phone number that keeps popping up on his cell phone, when I ask him about it he says, "it's just something to do with work" now keep in mind that my husband works in a very large hospital in a totally different department than this woman who is a cafeteria worker, he is a computer anaylsis. When confronted with my questions he tries to turn it around on me to make me feel like a heel for questioning his fidelity. He will even either hide his cell phone or totally clear all of the numbers off, but every now and then I can get a hold of it before he has a chance to take them off. He has even said to me " I was intentionally doing things to make me look guilty just to get a rise out of you to make you communicate". What a crock, needless to say I told him that he would have to come up with one better than that. Any comments of advice out there? I just want to catch him soo bad and so good that he can't lie his way out of  it. He also uses the excuse of going to one particular store usually after 10"clock at night and come home sometimes midnight, sometimes 1-1:30pm, with no proof that he's been to the store and expect me to believe it!! 

Desparate to find the truth and get divorce proceedings in motion.