Well, I too have recently found out my husband of nearly 20 years was cheating on me. I thinkg I must have deliberately blinded myself to his infidelity. Our marriage has always been a bit fiery. We haven't had the best of intimate lives in over 6 years. We have 2 children (boy 19, girl 12), and an daughter-in-law to be (who also happend to be carrying my 1st grandchild). I found out on September 23rd the truth of his infidelity, through his email account. I had been very curious for about a week before. His emails were very devastating. He had even written a "contract" for them to meet every other Monday morning where they would spend time together enjoying mutual friendship, passion, pleasure and more. His last email to her said "lets get married". Yes, he wasn't actually proposing, but the message was clear. It turns out that the "affair" has been going on for about a year, with a woman that he has known for about 2. He sold her a car for her daughter, and from then on it began. At first he said it was friendship, then he started having oral sex with her. He swears it never went farther, even his emails state that. Then he says it went back to being just friends and him helping her with her studies. By the way, she is married with 2 teenagers as well, her husband is military. I so wanted to kick him out on the day I confronted him. He cried and said he wanted to save our marriage. He had been with her that very evening, supposedly breaking it off with her. He says it is over, he promised to never contact her again. But just today I found her number on his cell phone. I also found a voicemail from her stating that she had missed his call and asking him to call her back, then closed the message by saying "I Love You". I am sure many of you on this board can imagine my thoughts and feelings at discovering this. The schmuck hd let our son's fiance borrow his cellphone for job hunting purposes, and didn't even thing to clear out his evidence. Man, I really don't know what to do. We have been going to counselling, with a pastor that I trust implicitly, for over a month now. As a matter of fact, we were supposed to go to a session tonight. Unfortunately our pastor couldn't make it, so we went to the mall with the kids instead. The other day he asked me how committed I was to making this work (I had been having a real bad week where everything he did was making me mad), I told him if I wasn't he wouldn't still be in the house. Our 20th anniversary was last Wednesday. I didn't acknowledge it at all, he was very upset about that. I just didn't know how to, or whether I even wanted to, acknowledge it. I realized 2 days ago that was the reason for my bad week. But, now I find myself ready to ask him the same question, seeing as how he is still in contact with this woman.
Thanks for letting me vent. Any advise is welcome
(Original Air Date: 11/10/05) Lies, deceit, sex and scandal. Dr. Phil speaks with husbands and wives who've been caught cheating — and are paying the price. Albert and Camille have been married 11 years, but she hasn't been able to trust him since his affair three years ago. Albert admits to cheating, and says he would do it again if he knew he could get away with a "freebie!" Camille is convinced he's still involved with other women, but Albert says he's not cheating. Then, Danielle and Chris were high school sweethearts, but less than three months after getting married, Danielle found herself in the arms of another man. Numerous affairs later, Danielle is pregnant with another man's child. Can these marriages survive this much betrayal? Join the discussion.
