Topic : 11/11 Dating Disasters

 Gotta agree. Angel is not all that. Her eyes look really off, one of them looks really red and the other one is white. Odd, not saying she is ugly, but she is not close to a perfect 10.

 For someone who is looking for a perfect 10, Lexi isn't anywhere near that herself.  Her eyes would drive me nuts - she looks either half asleep or half-loaded.

In addition, her personality makes her truly ugly.

How sad.     

I am a 43 year old, never married woman. I am terrified of meeting the wrong person. I would love to get married to the right person; but am very anxious about meeting the wrong guy. I hear so many horror stories from friends and television that I am petrified to even try dating. Unfortunately, I am not a social butterfly and am about 20 pounds overweight. I am very self conscious of my looks because I was always a fat kid and don't have have alot of self esteem. I consider myself shy and uneasy around people. I think Internet dating would be my only option because I think I would at least tell my story honestly since I don't "have anything to lose" with someone I would have already met. Unfortunately, I am very scared to meet someone on line because I know there are sexual predators and liars out there. Does anyone have any suggestions? I can only see myself alone and an old maid for the rest of my life.

I totally agree with your statement.  Lexi definitely have problems and I believe one of them is her being a Black woman.  I was embarrassed, sad, and outraged all at once.  I was embarrassed because I could not believe this woman had the audacity to say she is a 10.  She truly believes she is that attractive.  Well, I will have to beg to defer.  I too agree that both Black and White men would pass her up.  I was outraged that she sat on that stage and perpetuated the stereotype that all Black men hiss and make derogatory comments when a woman does not respond to his interest.  Now, I too have experienced that situation.  But, I’ve also experienced the flip side.  When the situation is negative you either ignore the rude comments or correct the Brother.  She is doing herself a disservice by generalizing all Black men.  She is wrong.  I was sad for Lexi because I knew her preference for White men was the manifestation of something deeper.  I truly believe Lexi experienced something in her life that made her view of Black men so distorted.  What made it even worse is when she said if the guy is hot he doesn’t have to treat her well.  Her perspective is not balanced. 

  

 

  

  

 

  

 I’ve never dated outside my race.  However, that wasn’t by choice.  The situation never presented itself.  My husband (black man) and I have been married for 5 years.  We met while in college.  He is articulate, educated, and a professional.  Just like many other woman, I had to kiss a few frogs to get my Prince.

  

 

  

  

 

  

I hope Lexi watches herself on Dr. Phil.  I hope she sees that her state of mind is very superficial.  If she decides to continue on this path she will be greeted with disappointment, sadness, angry, bitterness and any other negative feeling.

  

 

  

  

 

  

I will pray that Lexi gets what she needs not what she wants.

  

 

  

I totally agree with your statement.  Lexi definitely have problems and I believe one of them is her being a Black woman.  I was embarrassed, sad, and outraged all at once.  I was embarrassed because I could not believe this woman had the audacity to say she is a 10.  She truly believes she is that attractive.  Well, I will have to beg to defer.  I too agree that both Black and White men would pass her up.  I was outraged that she sat on that stage and perpetuated the stereotype that all Black men hiss and make derogatory comments when a woman does not respond to his interest.  Now, I too have experienced that situation.  But, I’ve also experienced the flip side.  When the situation is negative you either ignore the rude comments or correct the Brother.  She is doing herself a disservice by generalizing all Black men.  She is wrong.  I was sad for Lexi because I knew her preference for White men was the manifestation of something deeper.  I truly believe Lexi experienced something in her life that made her view of Black men so distorted.  What made it even worse is when she said if the guy is hot he doesn’t have to treat her well.  Her perspective is not balanced. 

  

 

  

 

 I’ve never dated outside my race.  However, that wasn’t by choice.  The situation never presented itself.  My husband (black man) and I have been married for 5 years.  We met while in college.  He is articulate, educated, and a professional.  Just like many other woman, I had to kiss a few frogs to get my Prince.

  

 

  

 

I hope Lexi watches herself on Dr. Phil.  I hope she sees that her state of mind is very superficial.  If she decides to continue on this path she will be greeted with disappointment, sadness, angry, bitterness and any other negative feeling.

  

 

  

 

I will pray that Lexi gets what she needs not what she wants.

  

 

If you don't get out there, how will you know?  I know there is a lady there just dieing to get out.  Learn to love the person you are.  No one can help you unless you are willing to help yourself.   The only thing I can say is, find a support group or get involved with something you like to do.  Don't feel sorry for yourself, enjoy life as it comes.  

  

  

ms new 

I'm surprised Dr. Phil didn't offer her help to overcome whatever has caused her shallowness.  But then maybe he saw she was beyond help.  I personally found her discusting and certainly nowhere near at "10" in physical appearance.  There were prettier Black women in the audience.

When she's a 10 she can demand a 10, but that is no assurance of happiness or tranquility.  Maybe she needs to buy a copy of Lloyd Price's "Personality" and play over and over until she gets the idea.

 Hey, I totally understand what you're going through. Granted, I'm much younger than you (I'm 22), but I too am going through the same thing. Now, I don't know you personally, I only know you from what you wrote, but it seems to me like perhaps you're not ready to date yet. You say you have low self esteem. Guys will pick up on that very easy. The first thing you need to do is increase your self esteem. Perhaps on your own or with professional help. If your conscious about your weight, then join a gym, or get some exercise videos, or even invest in a treadmill or something. When I was in highschool, I didn't have good self esteem. I was about 40 pounds overweight, and didn't have many friends. I knew my weight was the problem, so after I graduated I invested in a treadmill. I love it! I now run in marathons, and my self esteem has soared! So that's the first thing you need to do. If you're unhappy about your weight, or anything else in your life, you need to deal with that first before getting into a relationship. The last thing a person needs is for their partner to bring in extra baggage (emotionally). Secondly, have you thought about perhaps joining a group? Or a club of some sort? Are you part of a church? There are many different clubs and groups you can join. Try joining a women's group or something. I know that might seem like a very difficult thing to do, but trust me, once you feel like you're a part of something, you'll begin to feel a lot better about yourself. Thirdly, if you feel that going online is the best way for you to meet people, there's nothing wrong with that. I've been trying it for a couple of years now, and so have millions of others. You just have to be smart about it. Yes, there are predators and liars out there. You just have to play it smart. That's why you talk to the person for a while online, then perhaps on the phone, and then, if you decide, meet them in person. Of course, ALWAYS meet in a public place! NEVER agree to meet them privately or whatever. If you're talking online with them, and they say something that brings up a red flag, DO NOT IGNORE IT! You can either tell them politely goodbye, or if they're being persistant, you gotta be blunt with them. The thing is that you have to show them that you're confident, and that you don't put up with crap (this applies when they begin to be rude, or persistant with you). I had this happen to me once. This guy added me to his msn, and right as we began talking, he asked if I would meet him for a movie. I told him no, I had just met him, and that I'd rather talk online with him for a bit. He then got persistant with me, and begin insisting I meet him in person. I eventually told him to F-off, and he's left me alone since then. So you see, when something like that happens, don't play the "I don't want to hurt his feelings" girl. You gotta be strong, and go with your gut instinct. But that comes with having a good self esteem. So like I said before, that's the first thing you gotta deal with before even considering meeting someone, 'cause the only person that can make you happy is you! No one can do that for you. I wish you the best of luck!

Hi!  I didn't see the show, but a good freind told me about it, since I am single.  I am 33, now!  I have been on Jdate, which is a Jewish web site for singles.  I don't know.  What I think is more fustrating is that I am see friends who are younger than I am are getting married, and having children.  I need help!!!