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Topic : 11/11 Dating Disasters

Number of Replies: 142
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Created on : Friday, November 04, 2005, 02:52:56 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard3

If you’ve been asking yourself "How can I find a man?" Dr. Phil's Dating 101 is for you! Lexi thinks her cousin, Angel, is too shallow because she will not date a man unless he's a perfect 10. Dr. Phil puts Angel to the test by setting her up on three blind dates — and she’s the blind one!  Then, meet Heather, 27, who wants her meddling mother to stop joining her on her dates! Her mom, Anita, says she enjoys being the third wheel and loves staying in touch with her daughter's ex-boyfriends. Dr. Phil challenges Anita to find three eligible bachelors for her daughter, go on dates with them, and then narrow it down to one lucky man!  Plus, a single woman wants to know why all her online dates just want to have sex.  Join the discussion.

 

Find out what happened on the show.

 

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November 11, 2005, 8:14 pm CST

11/11 Dating Disasters

 Gotta agree. Angel is not all that. Her eyes look really off, one of them looks really red and the other one is white. Odd, not saying she is ugly, but she is not close to a perfect 10.
 
November 11, 2005, 8:17 pm CST

Lexi is no "10" herself!

 For someone who is looking for a perfect 10, Lexi isn't anywhere near that herself.  Her eyes would drive me nuts - she looks either half asleep or half-loaded.

In addition, her personality makes her truly ugly.

How sad.     
 
November 11, 2005, 8:18 pm CST

Internet Dating

I am a 43 year old, never married woman. I am terrified of meeting the wrong person. I would love to get married to the right person; but am very anxious about meeting the wrong guy. I hear so many horror stories from friends and television that I am petrified to even try dating. Unfortunately, I am not a social butterfly and am about 20 pounds overweight. I am very self conscious of my looks because I was always a fat kid and don't have have alot of self esteem. I consider myself shy and uneasy around people. I think Internet dating would be my only option because I think I would at least tell my story honestly since I don't "have anything to lose" with someone I would have already met. Unfortunately, I am very scared to meet someone on line because I know there are sexual predators and liars out there. Does anyone have any suggestions? I can only see myself alone and an old maid for the rest of my life.
 
November 11, 2005, 8:21 pm CST

11/11 Dating Disasters

Quote From: kimayo

Stay tuned for my very similar comment.  I indicated that Dr Phil should have this lady back on another show that will address more of her many issues and dating should be last on her list!

I totally agree with your statement.  Lexi definitely have problems and I believe one of them is her being a Black woman.  I was embarrassed, sad, and outraged all at once.  I was embarrassed because I could not believe this woman had the audacity to say she is a 10.  She truly believes she is that attractive.  Well, I will have to beg to defer.  I too agree that both Black and White men would pass her up.  I was outraged that she sat on that stage and perpetuated the stereotype that all Black men hiss and make derogatory comments when a woman does not respond to his interest.  Now, I too have experienced that situation.  But, I’ve also experienced the flip side.  When the situation is negative you either ignore the rude comments or correct the Brother.  She is doing herself a disservice by generalizing all Black men.  She is wrong.  I was sad for Lexi because I knew her preference for White men was the manifestation of something deeper.  I truly believe Lexi experienced something in her life that made her view of Black men so distorted.  What made it even worse is when she said if the guy is hot he doesn’t have to treat her well.  Her perspective is not balanced. 

  

 

  

  

 

  

 I’ve never dated outside my race.  However, that wasn’t by choice.  The situation never presented itself.  My husband (black man) and I have been married for 5 years.  We met while in college.  He is articulate, educated, and a professional.  Just like many other woman, I had to kiss a few frogs to get my Prince.

  

 

  

  

 

  

I hope Lexi watches herself on Dr. Phil.  I hope she sees that her state of mind is very superficial.  If she decides to continue on this path she will be greeted with disappointment, sadness, angry, bitterness and any other negative feeling.

  

 

  

  

 

  

I will pray that Lexi gets what she needs not what she wants.

  

 

  

 
November 11, 2005, 8:31 pm CST

Lexi Lexi Lexi

Quote From: slyons9944

I just saw the show about the EXTREMELY SHALLOW girl, Lexi who would not date Black guys and has sooo very many ridiculous "rules" about what a man should look like. I don't normally do this kind of thing but I am OUTRAGED!!!! Can some one please tell her that she has alot of nerve being so picky about  a guy's appearance when she is not physically attractive herself. And to imply that she is a guy's 10! Puh-lease!!! Halle Berry is a man's physical 10!!! I know many White and Black guys who would pass Ms. Lexi  up on the street! I wanted to jump through the tv and whack her (smile)!   

  

I am an African American woman myself and I have dated outside of my race but not out of preference. It just happened. Which is how it should be. True, alot of Black men do not approach women in a correct fashion. I've had it happen and I just ignore it or even ask them to approach me correctly and respecefully if they want me to respond. But that is not all black men.  I have met plenty of professional, black men who are kind, respectful, fun and absolutely gorgeous!!! And if I might add...I am getting ready to marry one (smile).  What it looks like to me is she is not happy with herself as a Black woman. Clearly the blond extensions say that all day long along with her being willing to tolerate not being treated well just to have a good-looking white guy on her arm. I would have liked to seen one of the guys that she was paired up with be a Black man with impeccable grammar and interests that are stereotypically those of Whites. I would have loved to see the look on her face, if she had chosen him. That would have been priceless. 

  

Although the show today was fun to watch it was disappointing to me to see a woman so unbalanced. She needs to understand that a true, healthy relationship will not be one based on superficial standards. A superficial relationship will not last. Good looks do not last. She has probably blocked her blessing of a wonderful relationship in a black man, short man, eyes too close together man because of her shallowness. The relationship with her and the guy she chose won't last because he clearly had an issue with her being shallow. She will surely be in my prayers.   

I totally agree with your statement.  Lexi definitely have problems and I believe one of them is her being a Black woman.  I was embarrassed, sad, and outraged all at once.  I was embarrassed because I could not believe this woman had the audacity to say she is a 10.  She truly believes she is that attractive.  Well, I will have to beg to defer.  I too agree that both Black and White men would pass her up.  I was outraged that she sat on that stage and perpetuated the stereotype that all Black men hiss and make derogatory comments when a woman does not respond to his interest.  Now, I too have experienced that situation.  But, I’ve also experienced the flip side.  When the situation is negative you either ignore the rude comments or correct the Brother.  She is doing herself a disservice by generalizing all Black men.  She is wrong.  I was sad for Lexi because I knew her preference for White men was the manifestation of something deeper.  I truly believe Lexi experienced something in her life that made her view of Black men so distorted.  What made it even worse is when she said if the guy is hot he doesn’t have to treat her well.  Her perspective is not balanced. 

  

 

  

 

 I’ve never dated outside my race.  However, that wasn’t by choice.  The situation never presented itself.  My husband (black man) and I have been married for 5 years.  We met while in college.  He is articulate, educated, and a professional.  Just like many other woman, I had to kiss a few frogs to get my Prince.

  

 

  

 

I hope Lexi watches herself on Dr. Phil.  I hope she sees that her state of mind is very superficial.  If she decides to continue on this path she will be greeted with disappointment, sadness, angry, bitterness and any other negative feeling.

  

 

  

 

I will pray that Lexi gets what she needs not what she wants.

  

 

 
November 11, 2005, 9:16 pm CST

11/11 Dating Disasters

Quote From: uagrad

I am a 43 year old, never married woman. I am terrified of meeting the wrong person. I would love to get married to the right person; but am very anxious about meeting the wrong guy. I hear so many horror stories from friends and television that I am petrified to even try dating. Unfortunately, I am not a social butterfly and am about 20 pounds overweight. I am very self conscious of my looks because I was always a fat kid and don't have have alot of self esteem. I consider myself shy and uneasy around people. I think Internet dating would be my only option because I think I would at least tell my story honestly since I don't "have anything to lose" with someone I would have already met. Unfortunately, I am very scared to meet someone on line because I know there are sexual predators and liars out there. Does anyone have any suggestions? I can only see myself alone and an old maid for the rest of my life.

If you don't get out there, how will you know?  I know there is a lady there just dieing to get out.  Learn to love the person you are.  No one can help you unless you are willing to help yourself.   The only thing I can say is, find a support group or get involved with something you like to do.  Don't feel sorry for yourself, enjoy life as it comes.  

  

  

ms new 

 
November 11, 2005, 11:16 pm CST

She Needs Help

I'm surprised Dr. Phil didn't offer her help to overcome whatever has caused her shallowness.  But then maybe he saw she was beyond help.  I personally found her discusting and certainly nowhere near at "10" in physical appearance.  There were prettier Black women in the audience.
 
November 12, 2005, 6:33 am CST

10

When she's a 10 she can demand a 10, but that is no assurance of happiness or tranquility.  Maybe she needs to buy a copy of Lloyd Price's "Personality" and play over and over until she gets the idea.
 
November 12, 2005, 7:52 am CST

I understand

Quote From: uagrad

I am a 43 year old, never married woman. I am terrified of meeting the wrong person. I would love to get married to the right person; but am very anxious about meeting the wrong guy. I hear so many horror stories from friends and television that I am petrified to even try dating. Unfortunately, I am not a social butterfly and am about 20 pounds overweight. I am very self conscious of my looks because I was always a fat kid and don't have have alot of self esteem. I consider myself shy and uneasy around people. I think Internet dating would be my only option because I think I would at least tell my story honestly since I don't "have anything to lose" with someone I would have already met. Unfortunately, I am very scared to meet someone on line because I know there are sexual predators and liars out there. Does anyone have any suggestions? I can only see myself alone and an old maid for the rest of my life.
 Hey, I totally understand what you're going through. Granted, I'm much younger than you (I'm 22), but I too am going through the same thing. Now, I don't know you personally, I only know you from what you wrote, but it seems to me like perhaps you're not ready to date yet. You say you have low self esteem. Guys will pick up on that very easy. The first thing you need to do is increase your self esteem. Perhaps on your own or with professional help. If your conscious about your weight, then join a gym, or get some exercise videos, or even invest in a treadmill or something. When I was in highschool, I didn't have good self esteem. I was about 40 pounds overweight, and didn't have many friends. I knew my weight was the problem, so after I graduated I invested in a treadmill. I love it! I now run in marathons, and my self esteem has soared! So that's the first thing you need to do. If you're unhappy about your weight, or anything else in your life, you need to deal with that first before getting into a relationship. The last thing a person needs is for their partner to bring in extra baggage (emotionally). Secondly, have you thought about perhaps joining a group? Or a club of some sort? Are you part of a church? There are many different clubs and groups you can join. Try joining a women's group or something. I know that might seem like a very difficult thing to do, but trust me, once you feel like you're a part of something, you'll begin to feel a lot better about yourself. Thirdly, if you feel that going online is the best way for you to meet people, there's nothing wrong with that. I've been trying it for a couple of years now, and so have millions of others. You just have to be smart about it. Yes, there are predators and liars out there. You just have to play it smart. That's why you talk to the person for a while online, then perhaps on the phone, and then, if you decide, meet them in person. Of course, ALWAYS meet in a public place! NEVER agree to meet them privately or whatever. If you're talking online with them, and they say something that brings up a red flag, DO NOT IGNORE IT! You can either tell them politely goodbye, or if they're being persistant, you gotta be blunt with them. The thing is that you have to show them that you're confident, and that you don't put up with crap (this applies when they begin to be rude, or persistant with you). I had this happen to me once. This guy added me to his msn, and right as we began talking, he asked if I would meet him for a movie. I told him no, I had just met him, and that I'd rather talk online with him for a bit. He then got persistant with me, and begin insisting I meet him in person. I eventually told him to F-off, and he's left me alone since then. So you see, when something like that happens, don't play the "I don't want to hurt his feelings" girl. You gotta be strong, and go with your gut instinct. But that comes with having a good self esteem. So like I said before, that's the first thing you gotta deal with before even considering meeting someone, 'cause the only person that can make you happy is you! No one can do that for you. I wish you the best of luck!
 
November 12, 2005, 8:22 am CST

Single and Hating It!

Hi!  I didn't see the show, but a good freind told me about it, since I am single.  I am 33, now!  I have been on Jdate, which is a Jewish web site for singles.  I don't know.  What I think is more fustrating is that I am see friends who are younger than I am are getting married, and having children.  I need help!!!
 
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