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Topic : 11/11 Dating Disasters

Number of Replies: 142
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Created on : Friday, November 04, 2005, 02:52:56 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard3

If you’ve been asking yourself "How can I find a man?" Dr. Phil's Dating 101 is for you! Lexi thinks her cousin, Angel, is too shallow because she will not date a man unless he's a perfect 10. Dr. Phil puts Angel to the test by setting her up on three blind dates — and she’s the blind one!  Then, meet Heather, 27, who wants her meddling mother to stop joining her on her dates! Her mom, Anita, says she enjoys being the third wheel and loves staying in touch with her daughter's ex-boyfriends. Dr. Phil challenges Anita to find three eligible bachelors for her daughter, go on dates with them, and then narrow it down to one lucky man!  Plus, a single woman wants to know why all her online dates just want to have sex.  Join the discussion.

 

Find out what happened on the show.

 

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November 12, 2005, 10:41 am CST

Sanpaku definition

Quote From: phil_em_up

That's called Sanpaku. It *usually* denotes illness or physical and/or spiritual imbalance.

I'm glad you clarified this condition as I felt there was something that wasn't quite right with her.  Hope she views this show and can see this for herself....believe she needs counseling in turning away from her own race especially.  The black dude was absolutely gorgeous and so nice; she missed a good thing there. 

  

  

 
November 12, 2005, 10:50 am CST

Lexi has issues

Before Lexi even considers dating, she needs some serious counseling to find out why she would even consider turning away from her own race, let alone allow a white man to treat her badly.  She sounds self destructive and needs to get healed before getting into or continuing in the dating game.  The Black fellow was so nice and totally good looking; I couldn't imagine not wanting to date him.  He certainly impressed me and I'm a grandmother.
 
November 12, 2005, 10:51 am CST

Not the cream of the crop

Quote From: ms_new

If you don't get out there, how will you know?  I know there is a lady there just dieing to get out.  Learn to love the person you are.  No one can help you unless you are willing to help yourself.   The only thing I can say is, find a support group or get involved with something you like to do.  Don't feel sorry for yourself, enjoy life as it comes.  

  

  

ms new 

I have read letters here like yours that you are not that attractive and not the best figure and shy.  when you go on dates they do not call you back. Well I am nice looking and have a nice body and I am very outgoing good career. What most might think is everything you would need to find a good man.  Trust me that is not the case.  Every man I have gone out with lately is all over you. I have big boobs so they want to touch them see more of them etc.  Some days you just want to go around with glasses and  a bun in your hair and baggy clothes. Trust me you do not need to be drop dead gorgeous to be treated like this. Or be dating men from the bars.  I do not need alot of men to find me attractive One will do.  No I do not dress like the girls in Sex in the city. I wear alot of jackets and loose pants. It seems a man can spot a good body a mile away. I am sure you are thinking if I could have such problems.  But guess what I set home on Saturday nights too! Not because I cannot get a date.  because I am sick of men who do not seem to be able to control themselves or not act like a dog.  It is just not worth an evening out if all you have to do is fight them off  you all night. I am sure some men wonder why they never get a second date with me. Because I think I am too good for them. No! it is because they think by  telling me I am pretty and they would like to go to bed with me or see more of me, Naked, is what I want to Hear.  What a line. HA!  

 
November 12, 2005, 11:14 am CST

I agree!

Quote From: revrobwa

I'm surprised Dr. Phil didn't offer her help to overcome whatever has caused her shallowness.  But then maybe he saw she was beyond help.  I personally found her discusting and certainly nowhere near at "10" in physical appearance.  There were prettier Black women in the audience.

I found the show to be stupid!   I gal looking for a perfect 10 needs to take a good look at herself in the mirror and see that she's not attracting the "so called" perfect 10 because she was far from a 10 herself!    You're right about there being prettier black women in the audience!  I found her to be disgusting and I thought Dr. Phil made her look really dumb by having her on the show.  Shallow, shallow, shallow!  She gives us single women a bad reputation!   Dr. Phil could have used his time more wisely and geared his show towards giving some sound advice for us single people out there.  Instead he allowed this woman to go on and make a total fool of herself!   

  

Chillin in CA 

 
November 12, 2005, 11:33 am CST

What to do?

Quote From: whois333

I'm 33, I've been single, no dates,etc. for over 7 years!  I was with my daughters' dad for almost 5 years, then we broke up when she was 2 1/2 months old.  I've been single ever since! 

I'm sick of waiting for something to fall into my lap, because believe me, it DOESN'T HAPPEN!! 

I'll be 50 and alone at the rate I'm going now, and I dread my daughter growing up because I don't know how I'll live having to ramble through life totally alone.  All my friends went away to school, or met their spouses while I was w/ my daughters' dad, so I pretty much wasted the 'prime' years being with him.  Now everyone is married and having kids, so I guess I"ll have to wait 5-10 years for people to start getting divorced before I'll be able to find an available guy who's not a drunk or psycho. 

Since I have no friends and nothing to do, how am I supposed to meet Mr. Right? 

Go back to school, the educational opportunities are excellent for single moms. I attend a Technical University, males outnumber females 6 to 1, I've met fellows from every walk of life and all of them have proven to have goals in life as evidenced by their attending a reputable university. I haven't met the "one" yet but great friendships can be just as rewarding. We go hiking, camping, attend sporting events, some have even come to my son's hockey games. My son has thrived under their attention and picked up great examples on what it means to be man. Volunteer in something that interests you or your daughter is involved in, you'll have something to be passionate about and share an experience of giving with your daughter, not a bad thing to teach a child :-) I volunteer with my son's team each year, I gave birth to one child but feel as if I have 50 kids to love and love me back, not a bad way to fill your heart and have fun at the same time. They're a goofy bunch, smell bad, talk worse but I dearly love the bunch and I know I have their love and regard. While it doesn't take the place of having a warm body to snuggle with on cold nights, it does fill your heart and give a sense of self-worth and purpose to my life.  

  

Devote your time to your daughter, their childhood passes so quickly. You don't have to have a man in your life to make a quailty life for yourself and your daughter. If you happen to met someone that can love her for her own person instead of as "another man's child" open your heart and see where it goes. Do not, I repeat Do Not, put up with someone that can't or won't accept her with their whole heart. Your daughter is your first responsibility period, no debate. I nearly married a fellow that in the end couldn't accept my son as his own person and had little control over his own daughters. He wasn't abusive to my son but he wasn't kind either, not acceptable to me or to what I value for myself and my son. I broke off the engagement and moved on with my life. His daughters have not fared well while my son has excelled. Don't bring someone into both your lives just to avoid being lonely, you have the responsibilty to make wise choices about who has access to your daughter, be wise. 

  

I wish the very best to you and your daughter, life as a single mom is not easy but you can make it a quality life by giving the best of yourself to yourself and your daughter. 

 
November 12, 2005, 12:00 pm CST

Appalled

Quote From: revrobwa

I'm surprised Dr. Phil didn't offer her help to overcome whatever has caused her shallowness.  But then maybe he saw she was beyond help.  I personally found her discusting and certainly nowhere near at "10" in physical appearance.  There were prettier Black women in the audience.

I was not only appalled at Angel, but like you, I was disgusted and angry.  At least if she is that shallow, she should be super-model material.  I've seen AVERAGE black women who have more going on in the 'looks' department than she did.  Then, to put such a negative reflection on her own race was unbelieveable!  I was so embarrassed. 

  

Personally, when I was single I dated men of different races, but I never "downed" ANY race because of my preferences.  Wow!  I was really hoping the gentleman who stated that her shallowness bothered him would have turned down dating her.  He deserves better! 

 
November 12, 2005, 2:39 pm CST

read these message boards

Quote From: wildkardde

 I also don't believe in online dating.  Why take something that should be a personal and intimate experience and religate it to the online world which is none of these things.

In regards to the "Perfect 10" thing,  that isn't something that has a finite definition.  Any relationship is always growing and evolving.  People change and what people want changes.   However I would say that I could never marry someone who I didn't think was the most beautiful I had ever seen.   I just couldn't do it any other way.

If you read these boards, you will note that there are tons of people are out looking to find "the right person".  In fact, some of these people sound completely desperate. 

Why would you condemn on-line match making? 

It is simply another way for people to meet each other. 

I think that for many people on-line services are a great way to meet someone with similar interests. 

Think of how many people work 50+ hour work weeks.  Or, the people who only go to bars to meet someone.  The Internet provides an alternative way for people to come together. 

It does not matter how people meet, it only matters what happens after you meet. 

If someone can find the love of their life after meeting on-line, I say CONGRATULATIONS. 

We are no longer living in the 1950's. 

It is time for people to open their minds, and learn that there is more than one way to an end. 

 
November 12, 2005, 2:51 pm CST

not a 10

Quote From: revrobwa

I'm surprised Dr. Phil didn't offer her help to overcome whatever has caused her shallowness.  But then maybe he saw she was beyond help.  I personally found her discusting and certainly nowhere near at "10" in physical appearance.  There were prettier Black women in the audience.

I had issues with her shallowness also, as well as her view on black men. 

However, I find it refreshing that she thinks of herself as a 10.  And, she is proud of who she is. 

On these boards, so many women are self loathing and always complaining about how bad their life is. 

I wish that all people in our world would have high self-esteem, and believe in their own values. 

I get so tired of hearing people complain about how pathetic they are, or fat, or ugly or whatever. 

Learn to love yourself, and love other people. 

Our world would be a much better place to live if everyone would learn to respect themselves and other people. 

There is always going to be someone who is prettier, smarter, funnier, richer, etc...  That does not mean that we cant feel good about ourself.  AND, to proudly state that fact. 

 
November 12, 2005, 4:17 pm CST

Lexie

Am I the only one that thinks Lexie was ugly?   As shallow and vain as she is I feel sorry for any guy that ends up with her.  I don't know why she thinks she is so special as she just has average looks herself. 

 
November 12, 2005, 5:53 pm CST

You are so right!!!

Quote From: khsandiego

Dating?  Interesting topic.  Dr. Phil, you really dropped the ball on this segment.  What  a shame. 

I always wonder if people even remotely understand that what they have to offer is just as important as what they are looking for.  Look in the mirror and ask yourself, who am I, what do I have to offer.  Am I intelligent, funny, economically free, a good attitude, an athletic or decent body, what do I do to keep myself happy, healthy and productive.  When you answer all those questions honestly, then, surround yourself with likewise people and tell your friends you are available to date.  They know people who know people, that's where it is at.  If you don't meet someone, it's probably because you're not looking in the right places.  Go to evening classes, become a volunteer, go to Starbucks or the local grocery store.  Probably it's staring you right in the face.  I think you all are looking for so much more than what you have to offer.  That's the problem, nothing more, nothing less.    

I've had that same thought about dating many times.  My family members are sort of negative by nature, and I've heard the "it's a man's world" lecture so many times.  However, I have never had a hard time meeting men.  I know that I can expect what I give, like you so eloquently said, and I open myself up to those men.  Every time I hear the saying "it's just as easy to full in love with a rich man," I think, isn't it easier for the rich man to fall in love with a supermodel? haha 

  

Remember the show where this service showed women how to many a rich man?  That was a hoot.  If I were a super-rich women (hardly), I doubt I'd fall for some bozo who went to a seminar to trick me into marrying him! 

 
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