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Topic : 11/11 Dating Disasters

Number of Replies: 142
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Created on : Friday, November 04, 2005, 02:52:56 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard3

If you’ve been asking yourself "How can I find a man?" Dr. Phil's Dating 101 is for you! Lexi thinks her cousin, Angel, is too shallow because she will not date a man unless he's a perfect 10. Dr. Phil puts Angel to the test by setting her up on three blind dates — and she’s the blind one!  Then, meet Heather, 27, who wants her meddling mother to stop joining her on her dates! Her mom, Anita, says she enjoys being the third wheel and loves staying in touch with her daughter's ex-boyfriends. Dr. Phil challenges Anita to find three eligible bachelors for her daughter, go on dates with them, and then narrow it down to one lucky man!  Plus, a single woman wants to know why all her online dates just want to have sex.  Join the discussion.

 

Find out what happened on the show.

 

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November 12, 2005, 6:06 pm CST

oh yes

Quote From: thatdog

If you read these boards, you will note that there are tons of people are out looking to find "the right person".  In fact, some of these people sound completely desperate. 

Why would you condemn on-line match making? 

It is simply another way for people to meet each other. 

I think that for many people on-line services are a great way to meet someone with similar interests. 

Think of how many people work 50+ hour work weeks.  Or, the people who only go to bars to meet someone.  The Internet provides an alternative way for people to come together. 

It does not matter how people meet, it only matters what happens after you meet. 

If someone can find the love of their life after meeting on-line, I say CONGRATULATIONS. 

We are no longer living in the 1950's. 

It is time for people to open their minds, and learn that there is more than one way to an end. 

 I have no problem with doing most things online, but daiting online just doesn't seem right.   It is to for people to fudge information about themselves online.  Many do it in person anyway.  Being online just makes it easier.  Doing things in person is more personal and allows you to get a better idea of someone.  The internet has lessened the amount and quality of contact we have with others. 
We don't have to leave our homes to meet people anymore.  I would agree that the internet allows us to meet and contact more poeple, but it shouldn't be about quantity it should be about quality.
 
November 12, 2005, 7:22 pm CST

meeting mr right

Quote From: smjm7288

I am currently using match.com and now I am wondering WHY? I have been on a couple of dates, the one guy I thought we hit it off had alot in common and  then get an e-mail stating we don't have any chemisrty (at least he was honest). Give me a break after one date and he can already tell. I have sent pics of myself to some of these guys and then you don't hear back from them. I am not a tall blonda with big boobs, but I am an attractive woman. So as far as I am concerned this is not the place to try to meet a mate.    

  

I also don't want to sit in the bar trying to meet someone. I am 41, any ideas on how to meet a decent man???   

It sounds like your putting out the effort, someone will come along as long as you're being yourself and not hiding. There is a Jack for every Jill.
 
November 12, 2005, 7:30 pm CST

i hear ya!

Quote From: ohgia44

 For someone who is looking for a perfect 10, Lexi isn't anywhere near that herself.  Her eyes would drive me nuts - she looks either half asleep or half-loaded.

In addition, her personality makes her truly ugly.

How sad.     
HAHA!  I agree!  She does look half-loaded!!  Isn't it funny how the "not-so-perfect-10's" always think they should get one?!?!?  Strange......
 
November 12, 2005, 8:30 pm CST

Lexie is too shallow to be a good companion.

Quote From: yolandadix

Am I the only one that thinks Lexie was ugly?   As shallow and vain as she is I feel sorry for any guy that ends up with her.  I don't know why she thinks she is so special as she just has average looks herself. 

Lexie is not ugly. She is full of herself. If I were a guy, I would never go out with a person so shallow. Good look does not last forever. She is lucky to be born the way she looks - average without makeup, a bit better with makeup. The TV dating games are not helping anyone. The people put themselves out as in a meat market. The shows are for entertainment. It is not reality. In real life, a good companion is one who values your qualities instead of looking for one's own gain.
 
November 12, 2005, 8:35 pm CST

11/11 Dating Disasters

Quote From: vaughn15

Before Lexi even considers dating, she needs some serious counseling to find out why she would even consider turning away from her own race, let alone allow a white man to treat her badly.  She sounds self destructive and needs to get healed before getting into or continuing in the dating game.  The Black fellow was so nice and totally good looking; I couldn't imagine not wanting to date him.  He certainly impressed me and I'm a grandmother.
On the race issue, I can understand why Lexi does not like men of her own race. To some people, a person from a different race is more mysterious and therefore more challenging. However, I do not like her way of writing off every men of her own race.
 
November 12, 2005, 8:45 pm CST

11/11 Dating Disasters

Quote From: flthomcat

Hope I didn't miss a great show (returned to teaching fulltime last week after a 5-yr absence). Here's some thoughts from a woman who has been married (sucessfully and happily) for over 16 years: 

  

Don't go looking for a guy or you'll miss the one you should be with! If you are in search of a guy at a bar or at another place where single's gather, the odds are you are going to find the wrong guy (don't they always seem to be divorced? Or  just out for a "good time?"....). The week I decided I was NOT going to date or develop an interest in a man, I met my husband! It had taken me a long time to come to that point and I was happy with my decision. And there walks in my future husband. I knew he was a great guy when he not only asked me if you could get me something to eat and drink, but he asked others (males and females alike) as he walked up to the table. His character was obvious and we were engaged 4 months later.  

  

Life is what we make of it. Marriage has its ups and downs. I believe in God and committment. I believe you put the welfare of the kids before your own needs. And I believe that too many people walk out when the going gets tough (instead of making the decision to work WITH their spouse and get the juices flowing again). I have a partner whom I love and like dearly. Sure we get angry. Sure we sometimes forget to put the other first. But all in all, we have had over a decade of love, support and happiness together and our best  reward is seeing how happy and well-adjusted our two children are!  

 That's great that the 'don't look' approach worked for you!   I have heard of people giving up on finding a mate and that's when they find someone....serendipity is great.  Howerver - how long does this take?  I've taken that approach (in my cast basically it's meant simply giving up on finding someone) most of my life - and here I am at 35 and still nothing.....for me it matters not whether I try or just go on with my life....I can sit in my boat and do nothing or bait my hook, cast the line and wait ....yet I never catch any 'fish"....all I've got are a few stories of the ones that got away....

Believe me, unlike ms. perfect ten my standards are quite flexible - I've had crushes on tall blondes and short dumpy guys with potbellies...but none were inclined to like me back at all...I don't know....I guess I just get tired of hearing the "stop looking" approach as it has never worked for me...sigh...
 
November 12, 2005, 8:49 pm CST

11/11 Dating Disasters

Quote From: uagrad

I am a 43 year old, never married woman. I am terrified of meeting the wrong person. I would love to get married to the right person; but am very anxious about meeting the wrong guy. I hear so many horror stories from friends and television that I am petrified to even try dating. Unfortunately, I am not a social butterfly and am about 20 pounds overweight. I am very self conscious of my looks because I was always a fat kid and don't have have alot of self esteem. I consider myself shy and uneasy around people. I think Internet dating would be my only option because I think I would at least tell my story honestly since I don't "have anything to lose" with someone I would have already met. Unfortunately, I am very scared to meet someone on line because I know there are sexual predators and liars out there. Does anyone have any suggestions? I can only see myself alone and an old maid for the rest of my life.

I am married twice. Both times, I vowed not to get married and ended up falling in love. I met my first husband at work and my second husband online in a chatroom. Internet dating is not scary. You have to know what to say not to attract sex predators. When my second husband and I first chatted, we both stated that we just want friendship and decided not to get married again. We were relaxed, we talked about family and believes. We exchanged jokes. We thought it would be nice to have lunch one day and we met at a bookstore. He had a few jokes for me and I had a few for him. We laughed and were not nervious. That's how we felt in love, because we both didn't want to fall in love.  

  

I think you can relax and just make some guy friends. You don't have to take a date. You can say "let's meet and have coffee. We can go dutch." There is no pressure, no expectation and no fear. Meet in a public place such as a coffee shop, a bookstore or a museum. Meet the person during the day where there is a crowd around. Drove yourself there and don't give out your address or phone number unless you want to. Enjoy the company and don't talk about sex the first time. No kissing or hugging unless it is natural. If the man is looking for sex only, he will not come back. If he is looking for good company and friendship, he may come again. You don't have to worry about being overweight. If you want to get rid of the pounds, do it because you love yourself. Don't do it because of any man, it won't work.    

 
November 13, 2005, 6:18 am CST

What Puzzles Me...

What puzzles me is that everyone on this board seems to be operating from the premise that you have to find that 'certain someone' to be happy.  

  

I read plaints of 'I could be alone at 50!', 'I might never find anyone."  

  

My advice would be - find yourself. Get out there and have a good time without a mate. If you need someone to share living expenses, get a roomate not a lover. Find friends of whatever age or gender. Spend time with them. Go to a soup kitchen and help out if you have free time, or campaign to save African elephants, or cuddle babies in a preemie unit.  

  

Sure, being in a stable relationship with a mate is great, but that doesn't guarantee your happiness. My mom loved her husband dearly. He died and she was still 'alone at 50'. A friend of mine had a wonderful partner. He had a stroke. She's not alone at 50, but her husband doesn't know her. Still, she spends time with him and with friends and she knits socks for cancer patients.  

  

Being happy shouldn't depend on finding someone else. Being happy comes from inside YOU. Be resolved to be happy and get out there and make it happen. A happy person is a beautiful person. Maybe that happy shiny face will attract the special someone you're looking for. Maybe it won't. But you know what? - You can be happy anyway.  

 
November 13, 2005, 8:02 am CST

Quality not Quanity

Quote From: wildkardde

 I have no problem with doing most things online, but daiting online just doesn't seem right.   It is to for people to fudge information about themselves online.  Many do it in person anyway.  Being online just makes it easier.  Doing things in person is more personal and allows you to get a better idea of someone.  The internet has lessened the amount and quality of contact we have with others. 
We don't have to leave our homes to meet people anymore.  I would agree that the internet allows us to meet and contact more poeple, but it shouldn't be about quantity it should be about quality.
People you meet in bar or at th Dog park or at work can and will lie too.  Going online gives more options, with the greater chance that you'll meet a "quality" person"  You just neet to be savvy on how people work on these sights.  Of course, if you're uncomfortable with it don't do it, but there is never a need to discourage other people from using online dating services in a responsible way, especially when so many have found lasting happy endings that way.
 
November 13, 2005, 8:03 am CST

11/11 Dating Disasters

Quote From: wifeofmike

  Speaking of  eharmony.  I would love to see a couple who have been married a long time  ( like my husband and myself 32 years !!) take the eharmony test and see if we end  up with each other.  Now that would be funny.  Those test are so stupid. because marriage is a life long process two people work at until one of them is dead .    Every couple in the world could have gotten divorced over something but the hard part is choosing to walk it out.
I think it's great that you and your husband have been together for 32 years. What I don't get is your Screen name. I would hope that, after 32 years, you are more than "wifeofmike"! Do you have your own identity or is that how you define yourself?
 
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