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Topic : 11/11 Dating Disasters

Number of Replies: 142
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Created on : Friday, November 04, 2005, 02:52:56 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard3

If you’ve been asking yourself "How can I find a man?" Dr. Phil's Dating 101 is for you! Lexi thinks her cousin, Angel, is too shallow because she will not date a man unless he's a perfect 10. Dr. Phil puts Angel to the test by setting her up on three blind dates — and she’s the blind one!  Then, meet Heather, 27, who wants her meddling mother to stop joining her on her dates! Her mom, Anita, says she enjoys being the third wheel and loves staying in touch with her daughter's ex-boyfriends. Dr. Phil challenges Anita to find three eligible bachelors for her daughter, go on dates with them, and then narrow it down to one lucky man!  Plus, a single woman wants to know why all her online dates just want to have sex.  Join the discussion.

 

Find out what happened on the show.

 

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November 13, 2005, 8:07 am CST

being happy

Quote From: druidcanuk

What puzzles me is that everyone on this board seems to be operating from the premise that you have to find that 'certain someone' to be happy.  

  

I read plaints of 'I could be alone at 50!', 'I might never find anyone."  

  

My advice would be - find yourself. Get out there and have a good time without a mate. If you need someone to share living expenses, get a roomate not a lover. Find friends of whatever age or gender. Spend time with them. Go to a soup kitchen and help out if you have free time, or campaign to save African elephants, or cuddle babies in a preemie unit.  

  

Sure, being in a stable relationship with a mate is great, but that doesn't guarantee your happiness. My mom loved her husband dearly. He died and she was still 'alone at 50'. A friend of mine had a wonderful partner. He had a stroke. She's not alone at 50, but her husband doesn't know her. Still, she spends time with him and with friends and she knits socks for cancer patients.  

  

Being happy shouldn't depend on finding someone else. Being happy comes from inside YOU. Be resolved to be happy and get out there and make it happen. A happy person is a beautiful person. Maybe that happy shiny face will attract the special someone you're looking for. Maybe it won't. But you know what? - You can be happy anyway.  

Its true that you can't be happy with someone else if you can't be happy by yourself. But when youar e comfortable with yourself finding a good companion has a way of enhancing everything that you do. Humans are biologically built to be social creatures. married people overall, inspite of all the bad things you hear, have a longer avarage life span and are less likely to fill perscriptions for anti depressants (whatever that means).  But if you go into a relationship with emotional baggage expecting someone else toc  rry it for you and ease the burden; all you're going to do is bring someone else down and wind up worse off than you started.
 
November 13, 2005, 8:10 am CST

Is this bad?

I'm not sure why but I am really bothered by White Women who will ONLY date black men and Black women who will ONLY date white men, even more so than women who will not date outside their skin tone.
 
November 13, 2005, 8:18 am CST

online dating

Quote From: anothervio

It sounds like your putting out the effort, someone will come along as long as you're being yourself and not hiding. There is a Jack for every Jill.

well online dating is good for me cuz i don't like the bar scene like i did when i was in my twenies, 

there jerks (man/woman) everywhere but for me online has been good. i've met some nice man or 

some who i still have for friends but you do have to be careful and continue asking question and if it don't feel right get out of it. 

 
November 13, 2005, 10:06 am CST

more options

Quote From: schrecken

 That's great that the 'don't look' approach worked for you!   I have heard of people giving up on finding a mate and that's when they find someone....serendipity is great.  Howerver - how long does this take?  I've taken that approach (in my cast basically it's meant simply giving up on finding someone) most of my life - and here I am at 35 and still nothing.....for me it matters not whether I try or just go on with my life....I can sit in my boat and do nothing or bait my hook, cast the line and wait ....yet I never catch any 'fish"....all I've got are a few stories of the ones that got away....

Believe me, unlike ms. perfect ten my standards are quite flexible - I've had crushes on tall blondes and short dumpy guys with potbellies...but none were inclined to like me back at all...I don't know....I guess I just get tired of hearing the "stop looking" approach as it has never worked for me...sigh...

Take a basic auto mechanics course at your local community college, odds are males will outnumber females 15 or 20 to 1 plus you'll learn an invaluable skill :-) 

  

Take a rock-climbing class, lots of men and climbing is a great way to get in shape along with improving your cardio-vascular conditioning. 

  

Adult co-ed softball league, here at least about half the guys are single and again you'll get in shape while having fun and meeting people. 

  

Not into sports? 

Join a book club 

Take a photography class 

Take a computer class 

Volunteer with a pet rescue group or animal shelter, lots of kind hearted men involve themselves with animals. 

  

The point is find something you enjoy that gets you out there mingling, your enjoyment of the activity will shine through and give you that little extra sparkle that makes you noticable and draws people to you. 

  

PS. druidcanuk, kindly note not everyone is desparately seeking a mate :-P I did in fact make a similar statement to yours earlier in the thread. 

  

Lexi is the cousin, Angel is the shallow gal (don't want Lexi's feelings hurt when its Angel being the stinker) 

  

The fellow Angel choose didn't seem too impressed with her attitude at the end, don't see that going much of anywhere........ 

 
November 13, 2005, 11:46 am CST

dating disasters

I don't like to speak ill of anyone, but I did not think that the woman who was looking for a perfect ten was a perfect ten herself, not only from a looks standpoint, but mostly from a personality standpoint.  Who wants someone who is that shallow?  And the last time I checked, none of us was PERFECT.  And how "perfect" is someone who doesn't treat you right?  I think this woman was too immature to know yet that kindness, caring, companionship, etc. are those things that sustain a relationship far longer than do looks.  How sad for her.  I hope she grows up soon. 

  

 
November 13, 2005, 12:33 pm CST

Angel

What we missed is the fact that this girl is over-confident.  A little too confident.  A beautiful woman (not Angel) with too much confidence, I believe can be dangerous and lead to disastrous dating.  Truthfully this girl is not a perfect 10.  A perfect 10 would never SAY that she's a perfect 10.  Like Dr. Phil said it's good to have confidence, but I think Ms. Angel is out of her league.  A white man who would date her knowing that all he has to be is white, doesn't have much self -esteem himself.  It should be a turn-off for him.  Let's just keep it real.  If she thinks she's a perfect 10 (she doesn't know what it is) - and she's looking for a perfect 10 - she'll never find a perfect 10.  It always amazes me that these women are the ones that have a long way to go to be a "perfect 10".   

There, I said it.  What nobody else would say.  She is a perfect 4!   

  

KISS01 

  

Keep It Simple Stupid 

  

Peace 

  

  

  

  

 
November 13, 2005, 5:30 pm CST

I Was Disappointed

I have to say that I was disappointed with Dr. Phil for his chioice of topic on this day.  

  

Dating Disasters is such a frivolous topic to be aired on Veteran's Day [Remembrance Day in Canada.]  

  

This day should be one that all of us honour with all our might - and Dr. Phil should have found a topic reflective of Veterans' Day. Perhaps the problems that aging veterans face. Or the way that young vets who are returning with serious injuries and amputations are coping. Or Gulf War Syndrome. Whatever the topic - it should have been one that revolved around the reverence and respect we have for our veterans.  

  

I thought Dr. Phil was more of a patriot than that.  

 
November 14, 2005, 3:53 am CST

WOW!

I can't believe how vain Angel was. She isn't even that great looking to have that high of expectations. Her cousin is much better looking than she is. But to have such high expectations will only cause her to be alone for the rest of her life. 

As far as the dating mom, way to overprotective and nosy. I wouldn't even go on national tv and admit that I am that way. The daughter needs to get a back bone and say no! 

 
November 14, 2005, 5:46 pm CST

Lexi - not Angel

Quote From: kiss01

What we missed is the fact that this girl is over-confident.  A little too confident.  A beautiful woman (not Angel) with too much confidence, I believe can be dangerous and lead to disastrous dating.  Truthfully this girl is not a perfect 10.  A perfect 10 would never SAY that she's a perfect 10.  Like Dr. Phil said it's good to have confidence, but I think Ms. Angel is out of her league.  A white man who would date her knowing that all he has to be is white, doesn't have much self -esteem himself.  It should be a turn-off for him.  Let's just keep it real.  If she thinks she's a perfect 10 (she doesn't know what it is) - and she's looking for a perfect 10 - she'll never find a perfect 10.  It always amazes me that these women are the ones that have a long way to go to be a "perfect 10".   

There, I said it.  What nobody else would say.  She is a perfect 4!   

  

KISS01 

  

Keep It Simple Stupid 

  

Peace 

  

  

  

  

I think the shallow one's name was actually Lexi.  It's saying that Angel was the cousin.   

Sorry Angel -  I was of course, speaking of Lexi, the one who went on the blind dates. 

 
November 14, 2005, 5:49 pm CST

Yep!

Quote From: zourie

I don't like to speak ill of anyone, but I did not think that the woman who was looking for a perfect ten was a perfect ten herself, not only from a looks standpoint, but mostly from a personality standpoint.  Who wants someone who is that shallow?  And the last time I checked, none of us was PERFECT.  And how "perfect" is someone who doesn't treat you right?  I think this woman was too immature to know yet that kindness, caring, companionship, etc. are those things that sustain a relationship far longer than do looks.  How sad for her.  I hope she grows up soon. 

  

I agree! 

 
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