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Topic : 11/11 Dating Disasters

Number of Replies: 142
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Created on : Friday, November 04, 2005, 02:52:56 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard3

If you’ve been asking yourself "How can I find a man?" Dr. Phil's Dating 101 is for you! Lexi thinks her cousin, Angel, is too shallow because she will not date a man unless he's a perfect 10. Dr. Phil puts Angel to the test by setting her up on three blind dates — and she’s the blind one!  Then, meet Heather, 27, who wants her meddling mother to stop joining her on her dates! Her mom, Anita, says she enjoys being the third wheel and loves staying in touch with her daughter's ex-boyfriends. Dr. Phil challenges Anita to find three eligible bachelors for her daughter, go on dates with them, and then narrow it down to one lucky man!  Plus, a single woman wants to know why all her online dates just want to have sex.  Join the discussion.

 

Find out what happened on the show.

 

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November 11, 2005, 5:04 pm CST

Hey Miki

Quote From: miki_lk

Hey guess what sweetheart?  You're not exactly the CREAM of the CROP yourself, so why are you so picky with the looks of your future boyfriend (should you ever find one that lives up to your expectations)?   

I found it absolutely UNBELIEVABLE that you could actually go on national television saying the things you did about men and dating.  Are you actually serious that you would stay with a guy JUST because he was "hot??"  What if this guy belittled you EVERY day ?  What if he was emotionally unavailable?  What if he abused you physically?  Would you stick around then? 

The guy that you did pick was WAY too good for you...I can't believe he actually wanted to go on a date with you...I was sitting here at home HOPING that he was going to say, "Gee, I'm sorry, but you're not my type."  But he just seemed like he was just too nice....but if I had to guess, I'd say you weren't still dating...I'm sure you found a flaw somewhere...were his ear lobes too saggy?  Did his cuticles go too far up his fingernails?  Damn, I just HATE when that happens!   

Seriously dear, get over yourself, you're not the most beautiful woman in the world.  I think you should get the hell off your high horse, come back down to earth, and maybe try picking a guy who's at least CLOSE to your level. 

 

 let shallow gal angel snag her good-looking man.  what she fails to realize is that if she thinks he is so hot, so will other women and they will let him know it.  Oh Angel will have her good-looking man, but so will every other women out there who are empty just like her who are only looking for a face and body.  And even if he isn't cheating on her contantly, she will think he is, so she will never be secure in the relationship.  that sounds like true poetic justice to me.

A truly good man would not giver her the time of day.
 
November 11, 2005, 5:09 pm CST

My Sides Hurt....

I’m sorry but for me the whole show was a hoot!!! 

I was surprised when Dr. Phil actually asked Heather if she was, “Crazy”. (Is a pig’s tail, pork?) I’m thinking that if she ain’t she and her Mom will do until the REAL thing comes along!!! I’m NOT trying to be awful, here but if you’re 27 yr. old and having to slip around to avoid taking Mom along….YOU GOT A BIG PROBLEM!!! Though I can certainly relate to dealing with intrusive parents and family.  

  

I’m an older person. I’ve always been single. I will soon be moving back to live near my parents. When MY identical twin spoke to my parents about respecting MY privacy, she said, “like when she’s entertaining a gentleman friend….” WELL, I thought my father was going to require sedation!!! I’ve just always been they’re SINGLE daughter and they CERTAINLY don’t want that to change! I suppose that I could laugh at Heather’s situation because- while not as extreme- I’m going to be dealing with something similar EVERY DAY and real soon!!! 

Some days I feel like everyone’s Pet Rock!!! 

  

I do wish Heather the VERY best of luck in her ‘ESCAPE’. She’s a lovely young woman and deserves FREEDOM!!! And, to find Mr. Right using her own measurements NOT her mother’s!!! 

Brenda :-) 

 
November 11, 2005, 5:18 pm CST

To much emphasis on dating WHY!

I feel that people place and put too much emphasis om dating and relationships. Wh says we have to be in a relationship every waking moment of our lives. There's nothing wrong with being alone or single as lonf as that' s what the person wants at that point in their life. 

  

I have a somewhat negative attitude towards dating, and yes this is in part because because the last one I was in, was by far the worst realtionship I ever had. It taught me that not everyone is out to please or satisfy their mate, but only themselves. It taught me that not everyone knows what loves is,  let alone how to love someone else. It taught me all the things that love is not. It taught me that some people are very selfish, immature, unstable, unsure of what they want in life, are unwilling to work hard for what they want in life, and just plain scared. 

  

I always thought that love doesn't hurt, doesn't disappoint, doesn't lie, cheat or steal. Love should be one of life's best experiences, but what happens when it is not. 

  

I hate to sound so brutal or so harsh towards men, but hearing the phrase all men aren't dogs bothers me. It does seem like almost all men are dogs, look at all the talk shows on cheating, and relationship issues like this one. Where does it end. My last relationship has left me scarred for a long time. I trusted this person with all me heart, loved this person with all my heart, wanted to be his soul mate, had his child, and just wanted to be his life partner. Because he had a bad past relationship he let it ruin ours. I was never able to convince him that I was not his ex, and was nothing like her, however it remained in the back of his mind. I however came to the relationship in a very different manner. I was fully ready to begin a new relationship, ready to settle down, and had no baggage.  

  

I often think about what if, and deep down would like to pursue another dating relationship, but I need to be patient and just let it happen.  

 
November 11, 2005, 5:45 pm CST

ANGEL.......You need a mirror and a reality check!

When asked by Dr. Phil if you thought you were a 10, you said yes..... The only way you would be a 10 is if you were being rated on a scale of 1-100 and that would be pushing it. Shallow and ugly!  

 
November 11, 2005, 5:50 pm CST

11/11 Dating Disasters

Quote From: musicmin

 I agree with those who said Dr. Phil dropped the ball on the segment about Angel.   Although she says she's a perfect 10, I wonder if she really believes that.  To say you'd stay with someone even if they mistreat you shows (IMO) some pretty low self-esteem... like she needs to elevate her own self-worth by showing the world, "See, I must be pretty wonderful if this great-looking man wants to be with me."

Also, I was kind of disappointed Dr. Phil did not ask her this... if you do get married, guess what?  You are going to age.  So is your mate.  He may grow a bit of a belly, lose his hair, lose his teeth or need thick glasses.  He may get sick.   Would you leave him b/c his physical appearance and health is no longer what it once was?

Also, those things may happen to YOU as you age.  Would you want your man to leave you b/c you no longer "look good"?

I hope she re-evaluates her attitude, otherwise I fear she's in for an empty life full of disappointment.  :(

I was thinking the same thing.  People don't look the same throughout their lives.  We age, get sick, have surgery, have kids. Perky breasts sag, ears grow hair and there are brown spots where there was once unblemished skin. Perfect is impossible to maintain. 

  

The funny thing is that now-28 years after we met- I can honestly say that my husband is more attractive to me. He looks even looks more handsome, but it is also deeper that that.  Every year that passes, every challenge we meet together, every time he astounds me with his love and wisdom, he becomes more beautiful to me.  

 
November 11, 2005, 5:55 pm CST

Now Now

Quote From: lawest1234

When asked by Dr. Phil if you thought you were a 10, you said yes..... The only way you would be a 10 is if you were being rated on a scale of 1-100 and that would be pushing it. Shallow and ugly!  

 let's be nice...
 
November 11, 2005, 6:00 pm CST

11/11 Dating Disasters

Quote From: mstipp4

Dear Dr. Phil,  I'm a 34 year old African American female. I was so appalled by your guest Lexi. For her to say she didn't have anything in common with black men was the most outrageous thing I've ever heard. To also say that black men don't know how to swim or that they don't go out to expensive places was also crazy. Most of all she's not close to the 10 that she thinks she is. She must have low self esteem or something for her to put up with a man that would treat her badly just because he looks good. Looks are not everything. She should be honored for a black man to even look at her twice let alone take her out somewhere. Don't take this personally but white men are not all that. I must admit when I was younger I would only date men that were 6' or taller and had money to spend. To my surprise I fell in love with the total opposite. He's 5'9", 7 years older than me and a blue collar guy. He is my best friend and I could never see myself with anyone but him. Hopefully one day Lexi will wake up and realize that black men are the BOMB!!!!

Personally, I think Angel is conceited.  In other words, she's incredibly insecure... as are all conceited people.  They don't like who they are so they try to make themselves out to be something that they're not.  I don't agree with her putting down black men nor do I agree with you putting down white men.  One type of man isn't better then the other.  All of them have their flaws.  There are a lot of white men out there that are jerks and the same goes for black men as well.  People shouldn't be saying that one type is better then the other. 

 
November 11, 2005, 7:37 pm CST

shallow live today

Quote From: laylaune

I'm beginning to think that some of the people on the show are set ups.  This entire show really wasn't taken seriously, to my thinking.  If people are this shallow now adays, and SHOW IT ON TV FOR THE WORLD TO SEE, then...I give up dating anyone.   

  

I'm 47, and frankly havent seen anything on TV that addresses my demographic.  I'm single, no kids, OVERWEIGHT BUT NOT HIDEOUS, and cannot find a date with a compass and a map.   If people are this shallow, and shows like this one cater to this kind of superficiality, then I am giving up and dropping out of dating altogether.   

  

Disgusted with everyone's shallowness, 

me 

I'm in a similar situation, I'm 43, no kids,  overweight and I am not attractive to men because I don't look drop dead gorgeous.  I have friends who goes on about they're relationship as if it's the best thing in the world and yet one boyfriends left her and the other has another woman with a child that is his and only sees her mostly at night.  I have been looking and have been insulted and rejected before I can open my mouth to introduce myself.  I would love to have a companion but if it's mean giving up my self worth then single I will stay.   

 
November 11, 2005, 7:47 pm CST

*sigh*

Quote From: mstipp4

Dear Dr. Phil,  I'm a 34 year old African American female. I was so appalled by your guest Lexi. For her to say she didn't have anything in common with black men was the most outrageous thing I've ever heard. To also say that black men don't know how to swim or that they don't go out to expensive places was also crazy. Most of all she's not close to the 10 that she thinks she is. She must have low self esteem or something for her to put up with a man that would treat her badly just because he looks good. Looks are not everything. She should be honored for a black man to even look at her twice let alone take her out somewhere. Don't take this personally but white men are not all that. I must admit when I was younger I would only date men that were 6' or taller and had money to spend. To my surprise I fell in love with the total opposite. He's 5'9", 7 years older than me and a blue collar guy. He is my best friend and I could never see myself with anyone but him. Hopefully one day Lexi will wake up and realize that black men are the BOMB!!!!
 I agree with you- Lexi has got problems! I too, was appalled by many of her idiotic commets- particularly the ones about black men, but mstipp4 your above comment that "white men aren't all that" is really equally as stupid. People are people, men are men. I have dated black, white, puerto rican- some worked out, some didn't. I know you didn't mean that comment in an offensive way, but if I, being a white woman, had posted, "yah, black men aren't all that"  "White men are the BOMB" I would get totally trashed on this board and probably  be called a racist. It's ok to like dating men in your own race, but I have to say that I have never thought to myself that one race of men is this or that. All the men I  have dated are individuals- not "black" or "white".  
 
November 11, 2005, 8:04 pm CST

GEEEEEEEEZ!!!!!

Now I have seen it all!! I hate to disappoint Angel but, honey, you are diffidently not the prettest girl. 

Sorry 'bout that. You need to lose 10-15 lbs. and "GOOD GOD GIRL" do something flattering to your hair. A make over perhaps. The only reason I'm being so blunt is because of your attitude.  

Conceit, arrogance, snootieness and stuck ups will never get and keep a man who's worth having because you must think of someone else besides yourself, my dear!! 

  

Now to the mother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get real!!! You did NOT think that all mothers went on dates with 

their grown daughters. Sounds like you are mooching a dinner out of these guys. If you like to go out go with your HUSBAND and LEAVE YOUR POOR DAUGHTER ALONE! 

  

To the daughter!!!!!! Do not let your mother go on dates with you EVER. At no time is that appropiate 

unless it's a whole family thing. Your mother needs to get a life of her 

own.                                                                                                                                                                       

 
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