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Topic : 11/14 Dr. Phil and Robin's First Wives Club

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Created on : Friday, November 11, 2005, 05:25:24 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1

They gave everything to their husbands: years of support, a good home and children. Then out of the blue, their husbands tell them they love someone else and walked out forever. Now, four angry, jilted first wives join Dr. Phil and Robin for an intensive two-day retreat to pick up the pieces, reclaim their independence and move forward with their lives. Will a wake-up call from Dr. Phil and Robin empower them to start over? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

 

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judyblue22

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November 12, 2005, 9:32 am PST

11/14 Dr. Phil and Robin's First Wives Club

This show should be an object lesson for the Dr Phil-ism - Never invest more in a relationship than you are prepared to lose. 
 
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thevoice
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November 12, 2005, 11:20 am PST

interesting

Quote From: judyblue22

This show should be an object lesson for the Dr Phil-ism - Never invest more in a relationship than you are prepared to lose. 

It is difficult to reconcile all of the "phil-isms".  He has also said that each partner in a relationship has to give 100% , which I take to mean give without reserve or caution....then he says, never invest more in a relationship than you are prepared to lose.  

  

If we are carefully weighing our contribution, how can we give 100%? 
 
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zapatasred
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November 12, 2005, 2:27 pm PST

Think 10 yrs down the road

OK, this is NOT personal experience but someone I know. Her husband left her for his secretary and they had 4 kids. BUT the kids made it miserable for her and they got divorced later. She went back to school and had a nice relationship with her children. Because her husband had a successful business , he paid the childrens and her expenses and still does. He is on like wife number 4 and she said when she saw him,  he didn't look too good. So, maybe a 10 year plan for you and make a list of everything YOU always dreamed of doing and go for it. That other gal might not even be there anymore and he's going to gain weight,etc. .too. You might meet some nice guys too. And you won't have to commit to marriage but enjoy yourself. But  get in shape, dress nice get a new hairdo, travel if you can,get new hobbies. And maybe the kids WILL make her miserable but you'll be having so much fun it won't even matter. As they said on a few recent shows, don't stoop to calling her or e-mailng that she is a homewrecking wh*** to everyone you know!!!( see recent shows) Behavior speaks louder than words. Then it will set a better example for the kids ,too. But you could always have a plane fly over where they live with the message trailing behind just for them! Or the homewrecking  fruitbasket  gift  of the month ,now available on homewreckers .com.!! Don't lose your sense of humor .They are the ones who should be ashamed, not you, so don't let it keep you from going out and living your life.
 
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judyblue22

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November 12, 2005, 4:58 pm PST

11/14 Dr. Phil and Robin's First Wives Club

Quote From: thevoice

It is difficult to reconcile all of the "phil-isms".  He has also said that each partner in a relationship has to give 100% , which I take to mean give without reserve or caution....then he says, never invest more in a relationship than you are prepared to lose.  

  

If we are carefully weighing our contribution, how can we give 100%? 

I think you are right.  Why would anyone want to be in a relationship that you felt "take it or leave it " about.  If a long relationship ends because of death or divorce, the remaining partner would be devastated no matter how egalitarian it was.
 
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a_mayost
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November 12, 2005, 7:20 pm PST

11/14 Dr. Phil and Robin's First Wives Club

I haven't seen the show yet, but I have to wonder about men who leave their wife for someone younger.  Do these men think it's ok for someone to do that to their mother?  If the answer is "no", then why do that to their wife?
 
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what2do
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November 13, 2005, 4:12 am PST

So There's Hope Yet!

Yay! 

  

Can't wait for my married boyfriend to walk out on his wife.  I'll be watching this show for sure. 
 
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irene661
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November 13, 2005, 10:45 am PST

11/14 Dr. Phil and Robin's First Wives Club

Quote From: thevoice

It is difficult to reconcile all of the "phil-isms".  He has also said that each partner in a relationship has to give 100% , which I take to mean give without reserve or caution....then he says, never invest more in a relationship than you are prepared to lose.  

  

If we are carefully weighing our contribution, how can we give 100%? 

This happened to me 20 year ago.  My Husband of 15 years., told me 1 day he needed to think about his life, and moved in with his girlfriend...."don't let the door hit you in ass on the way out".   

  

I am fine, thank you...stronger than ever, and love my independence. 
 
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socalgal
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November 13, 2005, 12:00 pm PST

How sad for you

Quote From: what2do

Yay! 

  

Can't wait for my married boyfriend to walk out on his wife.  I'll be watching this show for sure. 

Whatever it is he's telling you, he once told her.  

(and may still be telling her) 

Only at the time, at least SHE was worth marrying.  

  

Your relationship is based on lies, and self serving acts of impulse to say the very least, and if you can't wrap your head around these few concepts. Good luck trying to start a relationship with someone with the old addage in undertow.  

"If he'll do it with you, he'll do it to you " 

Good luck in your uphill endeavor of growing up and growing older.  
 
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zapatasred
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November 13, 2005, 2:13 pm PST

Becareful what you wish for..............

Quote From: socalgal

Whatever it is he's telling you, he once told her.  

(and may still be telling her) 

Only at the time, at least SHE was worth marrying.  

  

Your relationship is based on lies, and self serving acts of impulse to say the very least, and if you can't wrap your head around these few concepts. Good luck trying to start a relationship with someone with the old addage in undertow.  

"If he'll do it with you, he'll do it to you " 

Good luck in your uphill endeavor of growing up and growing older.  

It could work out or not work out but you DO get the baggage of the ex-wife, kids, childsupport, whereas with a single guy you have a clean slate to build a relationship on with just you two. even THEN you get HIS whole family . With a married guy, you would still have inlaws(his family) .Why should he leave now? It will cost him financially and he already has the best of both worlds!!!!!  Who is he spending Thanksgiving, X-mas and New Year's with this year? Is there an age difference? How did you meet? It happens so much, it is just a part of our society. It is a lot scarier to date and find a guy of your own, I think. Learn about him, form your own history and not take a prepackaged guy who already has formed a history. I had a roomate many years back  who met a married guy at work and he left his wife for her and they got married eventually. I think they still are. He did start the affair when his wife was pregnant with their first child. She has remarried, although he supports the child. The wife kept custody of the child, and he needed to live in the area in order to have visitation. Obviously, it is a very common thing for married guys tohave affairs. The marriage could be a bad one, but then why doesn't he get a divorce first and then date?
 
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hopegraham

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November 13, 2005, 3:00 pm PST

10 Year Plan

Quote From: zapatasred

OK, this is NOT personal experience but someone I know. Her husband left her for his secretary and they had 4 kids. BUT the kids made it miserable for her and they got divorced later. She went back to school and had a nice relationship with her children. Because her husband had a successful business , he paid the childrens and her expenses and still does. He is on like wife number 4 and she said when she saw him,  he didn't look too good. So, maybe a 10 year plan for you and make a list of everything YOU always dreamed of doing and go for it. That other gal might not even be there anymore and he's going to gain weight,etc. .too. You might meet some nice guys too. And you won't have to commit to marriage but enjoy yourself. But  get in shape, dress nice get a new hairdo, travel if you can,get new hobbies. And maybe the kids WILL make her miserable but you'll be having so much fun it won't even matter. As they said on a few recent shows, don't stoop to calling her or e-mailng that she is a homewrecking wh*** to everyone you know!!!( see recent shows) Behavior speaks louder than words. Then it will set a better example for the kids ,too. But you could always have a plane fly over where they live with the message trailing behind just for them! Or the homewrecking  fruitbasket  gift  of the month ,now available on homewreckers .com.!! Don't lose your sense of humor .They are the ones who should be ashamed, not you, so don't let it keep you from going out and living your life.

Well my husband just dumped me and my two babies still in diapers to run off with a married co-worker, and as far as a 10 year plan, I am still trying to make it day to day.  The overwhelming anger and humiliation are giving me frequent panic attacks.  I have to keep myself together in order to take care of my babies, so I cant even fall apart properly.  And while I continue to soldier on for the sake of my children, he gets to run around with this homewrecker from cheap hotel to the next.  I pray for justice.  In today's society, I cant even legally confront her or even him properly, so I have to hope the man upstairs will take care of that along with protecting what is left of my shattered family.   Plus, there is no real support for mothers like me; it is becoming so common place for men to walk off from their responsibilities that he wont even lose any friends over this.  That doesnt seem right.   

hopegraham@msn.com 
 
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